Fear of son getting stomach illness

This is so strange.    I have always been an anxious sort of person about health but its never been this bad before.

I have an almost 4 year old and 2 year old.  My son has had the stomach flu 3x since birth (the last time being the worse).   Now I feel like I spend everyday waiting for him to be sick (not my daughter though - like I said, its strange).  I hate the anxiety its causing me and I know its not a rational fear.    Kids get sick, kids throw up - you must deal as a parent and I do.  I just wish I could be less consumed with "when" will it happen etc....its no way to live.   We are supposed to enjoy our children and I do realize he is healthy and I am lucky.  

I just don't know why my anxiety has gotten this bad.

A little background on me - I have IBS and my GI doc wants me to take Elavil but I'm afraid of the weight gain (it is for IBS and not anxiety although maybe it would help?).

I also have been getting some stomach issues myself due to stress.   I don't fear vomiting etc....for myself.  Its so strange to me that it is all channelled to my son.

I am going to try and talk to someone after the holiday but if ANYONE has any advice, I'd appreciate it.  This is an embarassing problem for me and I am to the point where I can admit I may need to help dealing with it!   Life is short.

[Slowe]

Is there anyone who has any input at all?

[bridgeohvoy]

You are not alone in this.  There is a group of us suffering from the same type of phobia.  I live in constant fear of my daughter getting a stomach virus.  I wish we were allowed to post a website or an email on the board.  I could point you in the direction to get help.  What you are describing is called emetophobia.  It is the fear of oneself vomiting or the fear of others vomiting.  If you look up this word on the net, you will get some resources.  I'm sorry- I go through exactly what you go through every day.  I never stop worrying about my daughter, what she touches, who she is around, and waiting for the day it will inevitably happen again.  I am afraid of myself vomiting and others vomiting.

[bridgeohvoy]

I also wanted to add.  I was also embarrassed to admit this to anyone, because I thought it made me look like a total nut job.  I am a professional business owner, a mother, a wife, I have friends, and I appear perfectly normal to other people.  My mind on the other hand never stops torturing me about "what if" scenarios.  What "if" the little boy she played with is carrying stomach virus germs.  What "if" tonight is the night I hear her screaming and run in her room and she is vomiting.  I think about it all the time.  

[Slowe]

I know - I am an RD!   I am home right now with my kids though.   I am a normal person by all appearances -
I've always had an issue with getting sick but now I seem to be projecting it onto my kids like I said.

He just coughed in his sleep and I thought he was going to get sick (he often coughs a bit before throwing up) so I was up there in a flash - my heart was racing, my stomach started gurgling I was so nervous.  I hate how bad this has become.

I am afraid I am turning my son into a neurotic person.  I am always asking him how he feels, if his stomach hurts and sanitizing his hands.   This is so embarrassing to write but it also feels good to get it out.  He goes to preschool and it just drives me bonkers.  I'm learning not even to ask what is going around there.

I wish we could get in touch.  I really could use the support and I really appreciate  your reply.   I could cry - knowing I'm not alone.

I will go google emetophobia.

[Slowe]

PS - I really want to thank you for replying.   I also think everynight "what if tonight is the night".

The last illness really did me in - it came out of NO WHERE.

We travel tomorrow and I thinkt that is what is making this even worse right now.

[Ryan_Trucker]

you're going to give yourself an ulcer worrying about the what ifs that you can not control...

do you take any type of meds to calm your anxiety down?


Ryan T.

[bridgeohvoy]

Google the word "emetophobia" and the word "violet" in the same search, and maybe it will take you to our website.  There are many mothers at that website who offer each other support that are exactly like you and I.   I wish I was strong enough to put my daughter in preschool.  I had her in a program, but she caught 3 stomach viruses in the first year and a half, and I lived in a state of constant anxiety, so I pulled her out.  I'm ashamed of that, trust me.  I do have her in other things like ballet and lots of play dates, but even that makes me worry.  

Have a great trip-enjoy your children and your family.  

Lisa

[Slowe]

I'm not on any medication for anxiety.   Like I said, I am supposed to start elavil as it supposedly helps with IBS but I'm putting it off.   My GI doc is not starting me for anxiety though (she doesn't even know all of this) more to see if I have true IBS.  I guess if you improve on the elavil, then my symptoms can be attributed to IBS vs Crohns (what they first thought I had).   I have pain and I guess there are seretonin receptors in the gut.

Lisa - I will do that google.   I really appreciate your input.  
I'm sorry your daughter got so sick in school.   I guess all of our illnesses have been since he was 2 so we've had about the same in 1 1/2 years which is probably par for the course.   I just wish I could handle it better.

We leave in a few hours and I'm nervous.   6 neices and nephews under four in the same house and lots of holiday parties.

This is so frustrating.  I realize kids get sick but I'd take any other viral illness (flu, cold, even diarrhea) over vomiting.   I realize that a lot of parents have kids who are TRULY sick and that is why I realize this phobia is sort of ridiculous.
I do realize too that I can't control what he gets unless I keep him inside 100% of the time.