Feeling extremely weird mentally. Lasts for 10 or more days
I have been feeling extremely weird mentally, sort of like some kind of hallucinagenic trip or worse than a menapausal experience. I feel like I'm going crazy. My eyes feel very sore and tired like I spent the day swimming in salt water. I feel like I am in some kind of dream and it's very weird. Reality is bent into something strange. It has effected my sleep, but what is wierd is that I feel totally calm, I fall asleep quickly and I can tell I sleep deeply. When I wake up I feel like I had a full nights sleep only to see the clock and find out find out I was only asleep 2 hours. I try to sleep more but can't even though I feel calm and no anxious feelings. I get out of bed and feel just wacked out all day. Then after 3 days of this I sleep about 14 hours straight and I feel I could sleep forever. I get up and still feel just as weird.
Now I use to get symptoms sort of like this years ago, but it was different. I would feel like I was coming down with a flu sort of. Tired, fuzzy thinking and an slightly ill feeling. That would turn after a few days into what it would feel like if you had the worst hangover of your life. Very fatigued, not a regular headache but a real bad burnout feeling that would make you feel like your brain is not getting enough oxygen or like I have heard people describe the next day after they took LSD. These symptoms would last for 7-15 days and would be extremely debilitating. It would be impossible to function very well at all. And every waking minute was total torment. I would usually always sleep great with this but not feel any better.
A friend of mine thought i might have acute candida causing toxins to infect my brain. I went on a candida cleanse and special diet. After about 3 weeks I felt great. And I continued to feel great for about 8 months then I had another bad attack like this, then I cleansed again, and was fine for the past 9 months. Before this cleanse I would get these symptoms about every 2 to 4 months. And since the cleanse I have had only one attack in the past 20 months, so the cleansing and diet helped me beat what ever this is.
Back in my teens I smoked a lot of marijuana for several years. One night my brain went completely out of wack and I think I had some major brain chemical embalance. I felt like I was very spacey, mentally weird, out of reality and this continued every day of my life, 24 hours a day 7 days a week for several years. Of course I stopped using pot and changed my entire life. Joined a health club, worked out twice a week taking aroebics classes followed by steam, spa, and sauna. I began taking all these vitamins, etc. Slowly over time I got better but could not completely get back to normal, just a lot better. One day a doctor put me on xanax and within hours all remaining symptoms were gone and rarely came back.
I felt like a normal person all the time for about 10 years after that, but if I did not work out for more than 7 days I would begin to feel sort of like the symptoms were coming back. Like my brain cannot operate properly without the workouts. Just mild to moderate brain fog, then it starts to creep in and get worse. Do a workout and it all goes away for another week.
Then ten years later I started getting these really bad symptoms after smoking marijuana again after 10 years and for several months a few times per week. Not like the way I felt the first time. This time I would feel like I was very weak, very disconnected mentally, I would have blue palms and my hands had white spots on them. I felt like something was sucking the energy out of me and i would gasp for breath when I walked very far. I would sometimes feel like I was floating outside my body or even hearing bird chirp could make me feel worse. These symptoms would last about 10 days then slowly go away like recovering from an illness and then the symptoms would return about once per month, then go away again. I would often feel like I was literally going to drop dead. One time it was so severe that I didn't sleep except maybe an hour a day for 8 days because the symptoms made it impossible to sleep
One night I was in the ER but was not having the symptoms at the time. I was having pain in my abdomen. They said it was a kidney stone and gave me an injection of demyrol. I was getting ready to leave and then I heard what can only be described as some sort of explosion in my brain and then I passed out. The doctors were baffled and one said, according to my relative that was there, it's almost looking like a coma could happen if were don't inject a counter drug. I went home and was so wacked out I could not stand up. My mother was standing over me and in my bedroom and I thought it was some angel leading me to death. I could not sleep for 6 days straight and literally thought I was going to go totally insane. It took me 3 months to recover very slowly over time, then I was fine again and felt like a normal person for several months after that.
As the years passed the symptoms happened less and less to where they were happening about every 3 or 4 months and were usually less severe than that. In some cases much less. But none the less very debilitating. After the cleanse for candida and diet changes like I said the symtptoms didn't happen except once in 20 months.
For years I had every test under the sun. Blood work always excellent, CT and MRI clean, no thyroid issues, heart great, urine clean and no disease that can show up there, though I have a family history of diabetes every time I am tested there is no sign of it including during symptoms.
I was feeling so hopeful since I had not had this in many months. One other thing is that I suffer from IBS that will come out of nowhere, but when the symptoms come the IBS dissapears, and my intestines work perfectly. Whe the symptoms go away after about a week the IBS returns. That led me to believe I have some kind of disease that is attacking the intestines, then moving on to the brain or something.
Does anyone know what on earth is going on with me? SSRI's do not do anything to stop it so I don't take them. I tried it once and then symptoms came anyway. Is there something wrong with my brain? I have found on rare occasion something will happen like if I get a headache that is bad, which I don't get often I will wonder if I have a brain tumor, then worry if i do, then after a few days I will begin to have very real heavy pressure in my head and feel nausious and dizzy, and wacked out, almost like my brian is creating what I feared. I get an MRI and it's clean.
Anyone here go through anything like this? I have never met anyone who does.
Does anyone have any idea what is going on here? I need help badly!!
Well well! I think I might come up with an answer in regards to your issues.
First things first though. I need you to give me some answers before,
I attempt to put it together.
1. IBS is catch all G/I syndrome of symptoms.
Can you elaborate? Details regarding symptoms, severity, frequency etc.
2. Any symptoms in the "off" cycle at all?
3.Diet,drink and lifestyle-what's a typical day like? What are your favourite foods and drinks?
4.Have you had any tissue analysis for minerals and B12 (not blood work for B12)
5.Have you ever been diagnosed with or checked for Leaky Gut?
6.Have you been checked for Mycotoxins?
7.Have you ever done a full body cleanse (detox)?
8.Have you ever had a Functional metabolic test?
9.Have you ever done any breathing tests?
10.Have you ever checked your PH saliva and PH urine levels?
Sorry for all these questions, but take your time to answer,
at your own pace.
Thank you for the very kind response. Thank you very much for your interest in helping me.
1. The IBS symptoms range in severerity and can be there nearly all the time but when not bad are pretty much mild. I often will have a lot of gas in there in when I wake and that causes some fair discomfort. This gas is despite the fact that I do not eat cheese, milk, dairy or beans and other things known to cause gas. My first movement of the day is usually fairly easy and and then later I feel like I need to go pretty bad and it's often difficult to do anything after the first movement, but with effort, relaxing my mind I can do ok. When the symptoms are worse I still go ok for a first movement then it can get pretty painful, Usually on the lower right side and the erea just above the exit where the fecal matter stores before release. That is where most of the pain is centered. It's usually rather a feeling like you have a good amount of feces in there and you need to get it out. Cramping but not like that of a spasm. I found recently, and this may sound odd, that if I spread my butt cheeks further apart on the toilet seat I can go easier. There has also been blood on occasion, usually a small amount, about a thimble full and bright red, almost all on the tissue. I have had a rectal exam and CT scans for this, and they find nothing and no blood during the rectal exam. Other times there isn't much gas but the other issues are still there. Never is there any pain in the center of the small intestine or the upper. When the mental symptoms begin the intestinal ones begin to go away. In fact my movement are very easy, better formed and more solid as apposed to granular or shapeless. In fact I go so well that I am going just like I did when I was a kid. Never do I have problems with my intestines when the other symptoms come, and there is literally no pain or discomfort.
2. Off cycle doesn't seem to apply. Symptoms come at any time no matter what the cycle is.
3. Food and drink: I don't drink coffee, sodas or milk. Mostly water and orange juce in the morning. I never drink alcohol any time but at bed time. Usually 2 or more shots of tequila. I eat a pretty common diet. usually fish, meat, chicken, rice, lots of pasta, sandwiches, hamburgers, often bagged veggies, and not often do I eat fresh veggies. Fruit occasioanlly and sometimes candy bars. I also juice carrots, celery, tomatoes, and cucumbers every day. I also take a B-100, iron capsule, chromium capsule, vit C chewable 500mgs, Rainbow Light complete Nutritional System- 3 tablets. And I also have a non weight gaining protien powder in water. I had my doctor review all of this and he tested my blood and say's I'm not getting too much of anything. He did say oddly that my protien levels are low despite the protien drinks and meat I eat.
4. B-12 analysis. No not tissue, but I do take a B-12 suppliment every day. Usually about 2000 mcs. Or is it mlg? Can't remember how it comes in pill form.
5. Leaky gut: No I have never been diagnosed with it or tested for it.
6. Mycotoxins: I don't even know what that is.
7. Detox: No I don't think I have ever done one of those. You mean where you drink liquids and take some formula to help detox? No.
8. Functional Metabolic sounds familiar. I think I might have had one of those but can't say for certain. If I did it was a long time ago.
9. Breathing tests, yes.
10. Yes my PH for both were tested when I was having a bad episode, and it was normal. However my urine was tested once and I was told I had a positive result for Porpheria. When we went to the lab and asked for the test results from the technician he said that he had no idea why the doctor would tell me I had it because the test was negative, but almost borderline. I was tested again and got a negative result.
Thank you again for nay help you can give. I very much appreciate it!!
Hello.....do these symptoms occur at all after taking Xanax? Perhaps it has to do with rebound effects from the Xanax? I am withdrawing from Xanax and have experienced severe brain got and depersonalization ( feel like you are in a movie) . Just wondering. Good luck.
Some of your IBS symptoms are classic Colitis symptoms.
There's a DEAD give-away in your post, that makes me believe that
the basis of your issues is a Candida overgrowth that NEVER got
completely treated. It takes years for Candida to develop and grow,
so it will take long time (much longer than most people think) to treat it.
My daughter has been on a combination SCD and anti-candida diet
for 2 years.
Candida overgrowth mimics IBS and Colitis!
Candida overgrowth causes Leaky Gut Syndrome and this combination may lead to the production and delivery of toxins, including neurotoxins,
mycotoxins and opiate-like molecules such as gluteomorphine/gliadorphine, throughout the body!
These toxic molecules and substances can affect the Brain and the Nervous System in many different ways, as well as the endocrine system, the Immune System, impacting absorption and assimilation of nutrients and
Your supplements may not be offering you the benefits you are hoping for, as they may not be properly utilized by your body and this would apply to
most of your nutrition, as good as it may be.
The new rule is: "you are what you absorb and assimilate".
Your Demerol Injection reaction was your body's way of rejecting
a shot of Synthetic Morphine. Not very surprised.
It's like the rain barrel effect or overdose. Your already compromised brain could not take anymore.
Could you list all the nutritional information from the package of your
protein powder, ingredients and dosage?
Are you familiar with all the "Illegal items" on the anti-candida diet?
Alcoholic drinks, candy bars, pasta, rice, fruit from your list should be eliminated. You've done this before.right?
If not, my suggestion is to to compile all of them and print them off.
The candida diet website has a good list of what to consume and what to avoid.
Even if my suspicion is incorrect, the anti-candida program will serve you better than any other approach, irregardless of diagnosis!
Your tissue B12 could be low. Sub-lingual Methylo-Cobalamin drops
2000mgs may be best to correct it, but it takes time.
The use of Extra Virgin Coconut Oil will give great health benefits
including anti-fungal activity. Start with 2T daily and gradually go up to 4T.
Replace cooking oils with EVCO as it is not linked to inflammation!
For details visit the coconut oil research center website.
I'll post again with more, but please free to post again or pm me directly.
Hi Raisin- I have been on Xanax, if you can believe this, since 1986 every day of my life. I always wondered if Xanax could be causing any of my problems. My shrinks and every doctor I have ever met and asked say absolutely not, but I wonder. I realized that I had been here before when I tried to join yesterday. I noticed once I got my user name and PW sent via email that I was sick then too and posted here back then. I think it was 13 months ago. The thing I posted lists a similar attack as the one I have now. So I have been symptom free for over a year, yet I take Xanax every day of my life, so that leaves me to believe the Xanax is not the cause. But of course 0.25 is the mildest dose you can get. So I take a total of 3 of those a day, so obviously strong enough to cause some pretty bad withdrawal, I assume it's not causing my symptoms. What are your symptoms like beyond the comments you already made?
Dear Nik- WOW! This information is so intense. You seem to have a very good idea and some serious background in figuring out very difficult symptoms to diagnose. It's like you can read me like an old familiar book. I feel some real hope.
Ok to start with when I cleansed I went on a diet of only green veggies, brown rice and meat. I ate nothing else. To drink I had water and that is all. But occasionally I did cheat and had some tequila at bed time and of course worried that I blew it, but I got well anyway. I remained on this diet for about 2 months religiously, then started re-introducing pasta, potatoes, sandwiches, but as little direct sugars as possible because i know pasta, bread, and so fourth converts into sugars in the body.
From what your saying I haven't worked at it as hard as people are supposed to. I wonder why I ever changed everything back to the old diet. The cleanse diet was fine. I felt so great too after a few weeks of being on it. And it wasn't that hard really to stay on it. of course on the go and so fourth it's very hard to find something you can eat at resturaunts and that did cause issues a few times.
I cleansed with Candigone:
What yous aid about the injection and how my brain simply cvould not take it is the first explination anyone has given that makes any sense. I feel like your theory is a breath of fresh air. That was the sickest I have ever been. I get creeped out just thinking about how tormenting it was. It was the equivilant of having a bad flu with a 105 temperature, while on acid, and no sleep for 7 days. And even that if you can imagine might be less horrible than this was. It was so severe that I am amazed it didn't kill me. And it messed me up. I was messed up for three months after that trying to recover. Every day a pure agony. As bad as it was I am glad I have that to gauge things by. I realize that what I am experiencing now is very mild compared to that, and if I could survive that I can surive this. So on that level it is something positive.
As for the suppliments?
RAINBOW LIGHT COMPLETE NUTRITIONAL SYSTEM:
Serving Size: 3 Tablets Servings per Container: 60 Amount Per Serving % Daily Value Vitamin A (50% Beta-Carotene, 50% Palmitate) 10000 International Unit 200% Vitamin C (50% Calcium Ascorbate, 50% Ascorbic Acid) 1000 Milligrams 1,667% Vitamin D3 (Cholecalciferol) 400 International Unit 100% Vitamin E (d-Alpha Tocopheryl Succinate) 200 International Unit 667% Thiamin (Vitamin B-1) 30 Milligrams 2,000% Riboflavin (Vitamin B-2) 34 Milligrams 2,000% Niacin: Niacinamide 1:1 (Vitamin B-3) 60 Milligrams 300% Pyridoxine (Vitamin B-6) 40 Milligrams 2,000% Folic Acid 400 micrgrams 100% Cyanocobalamin (Vitamin B-12) 200 micrgrams 3,333% Biotin 100 micrgrams 33% Pantothenic Acid (Vitamin B-5) 60 micrgrams 600% Calcium (Carbonate, Amino Acid Chelate, Ascorbate) 250 Milligrams 25% Magnesium (Oxide, Amino Acid Chelate) 125 Milligrams 31% Iron (Amino Acid Chelate) 18 Milligrams 100% Iodine (from Kelp) 150 micrgrams 100% Zinc (Amino Acid Chelate) 15 Milligrams 100% Selenium (Selenomethionine) 100 micrgrams 143% Copper (Amino Acid Chelate) 200 micrgrams 10% Manganese (Amino Acid Chelate) 2.5 Milligrams 125% Chromium (Amino Nicotinate) 100 micrgrams 83% Potassium (Citrate) 40 Milligrams 1% Citrus Bioflavonoids 100 Milligrams * Rutin 50 Milligrams * Hesperedin 10 Milligrams * Choline (Bitartrate) 30 Milligrams * Inositol 50 Milligrams * PABA (para-Aminobenzoic Acid) 30 Milligrams * Protective Phyto-Nutrient Foods Spirulina, Chlorella, Kelp, Chlorophyll, Octacosanol (from Spinach) 1138 Milligrams * 4:1 Vegetable Juice Extract (equivalent to 264 mg of vegetable powder) Kale, Spinach, Dandelion Greens, Beet, Alfalfa 66 Milligrams * Standardized Broccoli Powder (standardized to .1% Sulforaphane) 50 Milligrams * Yielding Sulforaphane 50 micrgrams * 4:1 Antioxidant Fruit Blend (equivalent to 240 mg of fruit powder) Elderberry, Bilberry, Blueberry, Grape, Rose Hip, Acerola, Cranberry 60 Milligrams * 4:1 Energizing Herbal Blend (equivalent to 420 mg of herbal powder) Eleuthero [root], Fo-Ti [root], Stinging Nettle [tops], Schisandra [fruit], Fennel [seed], Ginger [rhizome], Licorice [root] 105 Milligrams * Digestive Support Complex 0 Protease 1804 HUT * Amylase 141 D.U * Lipase 2 LU * Cellulase 2 CU * Papain 90000 PU * Betaine HCl 60 Milligrams * *Daily value not established. Other Ingredients: All natural mineral and plant-based: stearic acid (vegetable), modified starch, silica, magnesium stearate, vegetable food glaze. Free Of artificial colors, flavors, sweeteners, preservatives and other objectionable additives often found in vitamin products. Hypoallergenic. Contains no sugar, lactose, gluten, wheat or allergenic yeasts. Directions 3 tablets daily, with or between meals. Warnings Accidental overdose of iron-containing products is a leading cause of fatal poisoning in children under 6. Keep this product out of reach of children. In case of accidental overdose, call a doctor or poison control center immediately.
TwinLab B-100 Caps Vitamin B-Complex Provide a high potency synergistic combination of B-vitamins. TwinLab B-100 Caps are easier to swallow and assimilate. Well tolerated by most highly allergic individuals. No tablet binders, coatings or colorings. Free of the most common allergens such as corn, soy, yeast, rice, barley, wheat, lactose and all milk, citrus, fish and egg products. No added sugars, salt, artificial sweeteners, colorings, preservatives or salicylates. B-Complex helps maintain the health of nerves, skin, eyes, hair, mouth and healthy muscle tone in the gastrointestinal tract. B vitamins are co-enzymes involved in energy production, useful for stress, depression and anxiety. Suggested Use: As a dietary supplement, one or more capsules daily with meals. Ingredients: Supplement Facts Serving Size 1 Capsule Amount Per Tablet %DV Thiamin (from thiamin
You will get much better! But this will happen because of you!
The power is in your hands and your resilient body.
Some remarks on your supplements.
1. The SPIRU-TIEN PROTEIN POWDER. At first glance seems OK.
However, soy protein isolate is very controversial as it ... Too long to explain. Finish what you have and switch to something healthier.
Just do a search for: "Newest Research on the Dangers of Soy"
My suggestion is to checkout Swanson brand "Undenatured Whey Powder" as it is one of the Top rated supplements.
It has amazing health benefit potential. No issues with intolerance as there's no lactose or any added ingredients.
A bit expensive but worth every penny!
2. Fish oil 1000 mg 2x daily. Next time buy the omega-3 (not the 3-6-9)
Your body needs a lot more -3. From small cold water fish high quality
is recommended and away from meals. (heat alters its chemistry)
3.Finish your B12 and switch to what I suggested earlier:
Sub-lingual Methylo-Cobalamin drops or tablets
2000mcg (micrograms) daily
4.Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids 500 mg. Works much better.
You may start the candida program anytime you feel ready.
High quality prebiotic and probiotic supplements should be part of it.
For reference only (as I do not know about availability in the U.S) check out the HCP Synbiotic kit from Progressive Nutritional for details what to look for in another brand.
But the first part of the program should be a full cleanse.
I can guide you, but it's very involving (not complicated though).
The "candida diet" and also "Jon Barron" have descent instructions on their websites for cleansing and detox.
Take your time, as you need to do all this only once and well.
I'll post later with more. Don't want to overwhelm you.
Have a good night!
To me, it sounds like you could be suffering from derealization and/or depresonalization, two very common side effects of anxiety. DR deals more with your perception of your environment. Everything "looks funny", as though you are watching yout life from someone else's eyes, or through a movie projector. Depersonalization has more to do with your perception of your self. You may not feel like yourself, you look strange to yourself in the mirror, etc.
Both of these symptoms can come with feelings of confusion, memory problems, difficulty concentrating. Do some searching about DR/DP on this site, and in this forum. Also, if you click on my username, it will take you to my profile, look at my journal list. I have written a journal about DR/DP.
The good thing is, while it is extremely unpleasant, it is not harmful, and once the anxiety is addressed, it will eventually go away. You said SSRIs don't work for you. What have you tried, and how long were you on them? Have you tried any other medications for anxiety?
I think you may be pleasantly surprised just how much you have in common with others suffering with DR/DP, once you read their stories (the comments after the journal), you'll realize you're not alone.
hello... well you said you never really felt the same after you smoked marijuana. you wer having the burnt effect thats very similar to the "hangover" of a hallucinogen like LSD,acid, pcp, angle dust. well i have i friend who smoked some marijuana and never came back to himself and would often have flashbacks. The marijuana my friend smoked was laced with something i think it was pcp or angle dust something bad like that and it messed with his brain. the thing with most hallucinogens is that the chemical in alot of those drugs will stick to your brains receptors. when young adults take heavy phycodelics its easier for them to have frequent flashbacks or brain damage because the receptor that the drug connects with still are not completly devoloped and will stick to the brain cell easier. the membrane around the brain cells of young adults are still soft. due to the brain cells in the frontle lobe(i hope thats how you spell it) being soft it give the chemical in the drug to latch on and sometimes stick to the receptor. im not sure what type of drug might have done this if thats the case but i hope this helps you
Actually, the majority of the drug induced anxiety is caused by the anxious response the person had while they were high, or shortly thereafter. Even pot that was laced with something will not cause permanent damage, that is a misconception. It is the anxiety response that causes these issues. Anxiety is anxiety, regardless of the cause, and once we open that can of worms, sometimes it is awfully hard to break that cycle.
The drug is LONG gone out of your body, yet the anxiety stays. It's a very common occurence and can happen with just about any drug. It happens all of the time with alcohol too.
This is why people who are prone to anxiety should stay FAR away from any of these substances.
While DP and DR are suspect, the extremely cyclical and fluctuating levels of symptom presentation, indicates that there are two probable predominant underlying factors:
a. Gut Inflammation.
b. Marijuana use.
In chronic gut inflammation sufferers, there's 3x incidence of depression and anxiety compared to the the general population.
Anxiety and depression affects about 30% of patients with G/I inflammation
during remission, and up to 80% during exacerbation!
Long term marijuana use, WILL cause JNK gene activation, as marijuana
is a known JNK gene activator.
This in turn WILL result in any of many SERIOUS chronic physical and mental conditions, depending the exact levels of imbalances within each patient at the time of the onset.
Some of the possible JNK gene activated conditions:
Autism,Bipolar,Fibromyalgia, Neurotransmission impairment,
Neuronal Apoptosis, Dementia, Cancer, Schizophrenia Parkinson's...
This list is depressing, lol!
Thank goodness there's a great fundamental nutrient - even for people that cannot deal with their addictions- that will help inhibit the JNK gene.
And this is Glutathione, (a tri-peptide consisting of glutamic acid, cysteine, and glycine), the bodies Master Anti-oxidant.
I had this in mind with my aforementioned suggestion in my previous reply to use:
"Undenatured Whey Powder" as this is one of the top precursors of glutathione, chemically balanced for optimum assimilation.
But it has to be 100% Undenatured in order to fully benefit from this
and top up the glutathione production and stores in one's body.
Do not take my word for this. There are over 80000 studies on this!!
(not a typo) so please do your own research.
Your doctor unfortunately will not tell you about this, as this is NOT part of any treatment protocol. lol!
There are many other holistic approaches to anxiety, DP and DR and related issues but I'll leave this for another time.
Any questions, please post again or pm me directly.
Holy crap, this is a lot to digest. I mean everything I am reading here is opening all these new avenues of hope I never knew even existed. This new protien you mentioned more than once sounds real hopeful. One of the things that always bothered me is the fact that Spiru-tein contains sugars and that was a catch 22 because I was trying to get better but I needed the nutrition that was in it. So I was still taking it wether I was cleansing or not, that certainly held me back. I am going to make every dietary change you have suggested asap. And yes I want to do this detox, cleanse everything you suggested as soon as you think I can bare it. Yesterday I felt better. Not majorly, ut the worst of the symptoms have passed. I still feel rather weird, but the real wacked out feelings seem to be gone. I also slept 7 hours last night, and could have slept longer. I can't thank you enough for offering to help. You might literally be saving my life. Suicide is something that has entered my mind and I have decided to get help for those thoughts through the samaritans online. Normally I do not feel suicidal, it's just the suffering this has caused me has been hard to bear. So yes I want to desperately change my diet, cleanse, detox, everything. Even if I feel worse before I feel better while on it., I just want this to end, and the sooner the better. Thank you so very much :)
This is interesting news. While I never experienced any serious anxiety from smoking marijuana, after several years of heavy use I would often feel really uncomffortable when I was high. I also strangely would have this fear I was going to bite by tongue off wihout realizing it. I would actually have this taste of blood in my mouth and then go look in the mirror to make sure, thinking that I was so stoned I would notice the pain. this would make me very paranoid, but these feelings vanished once the high was gone, and then no anxiety. I did have a single LSD trip, and it was a terrifying experience. I hated it. While I was gong through it I was fighting it every single minute. I never experienced any real visual hallucinations, but mentally I felt for all intense and purposes as though the LSD made me temporarily insane. To me LSD in essence creates a temporary insanity. It just so happens that the only time I had used it was the worst possible time I could have. My family had just driven 12 hours from Seattle where I had been living back to San Jose where my friends had been 2 years earlier. My father and I were riding in a large moving truck with all of our furniture and things in it. When we arrived at out new house he said it was too late to start unpacking and we would do it first thing in the morning. So I set out to find my friends and they were so excited I came home we had a party and I did acid. When I got home I was feeling very freaked out. I remember laying on the floor of my new bedroom and feeling like I was going to totally freak out and jump through a window. it was a horrifying experience. total anxiety. I did not sleep but maybe 2 hours that night then my father got me moving and I had to spend the day helping unload the truck and upack boxes with this terrible acid hangover and little sleep. I often have bad memories of that day pop up. And oddly that is almost kind of how I feel right now, but not as bad as that. Just similar. I was almost 18 years old. One time I went to an all day rock concert with my friends in Oakland. That day were rode the bart to the overpass walkway that leads into the stadium. When we got there there were dozens of people there aslo. We had rolled over 100 joints before we left. We gave out about 10 or so to people there and began to get stoned. We did not sleep, and then we smoked more while we waited in line from about 8am till 11am. Once the show started we smoked pot all day. We smoked about 70 joints in a 24 hour period. When I got home I remember feeling so wiped out and unable to think I just fell on top of my bed and passed out. certianly this was one of those times when pot certainly could have done some serious damage in me. Another time this guy we knew walked up to us at a bus stop. He was someone we knew but not very well. H had this vile of clear liquid. It looked like water and had no scent. he told us to take wiff deeply. So I did. As soon as I did I collapsed to the ground and was seeing stars. It lasted only 2 minutes, but for days after that I felt like I was burned out in my brain, but then got back to normal. I regretted doing that. Just 4 weeks later is when I woke up in the middle of the night feeling all wacked out , that then lasted for years. Also I worked in returaunt kitchen about a year before I went back to San Jose. We use to inhale the propellant in the cans. I must have done it about 30 times. So any of this also could have effected me too.
Thank you for the information on the DR. I am going to read some of these stories and try to figuire out how closely I can relate. I have never heard of this but it sounds like another possibility. I am going to read throug this carefully. Thanks you for being so kind to respond, and nice to meet you :)
This is scary. I hope this is not what happened to me. Seems like there isn't much hope in this senario. But makes sense. I know a friend of mine smoked pot 1 times that was laced with nothing, and it messed him up so much that he never wanted to smoke it again. He felt weird for weeks afteward. I think some people just can't take the kind of punishment others can.
You are starting a new chapter in your life.
The title is " The New Jen".
And the nice thing is you get to Write it!
All the stuff you speak of- you have an amazing memory
for somebody that has done all those things!-
now they belong to the past.
My Mom passed on last Friday and seeing you
get excited with the prospects of a healthy & better life
makes me feel real good. There's a young poet on YouTube,
his name is Michael Lee and the poem is titled "Pass On".
My daughter uploaded this May 2nd on her blog,
and her grandma Passed On Friday, May 4th! Synchronicity!
She didn't have a clue her grandma was even sick, 10000 miles away!
I watched it 6 times last Friday and cried each time.
There's a special connection with you, that I made, and if you care
to watch it, I'll let you in on it, as if I were to tell you now,
it wouldn't make much sense to you.
Life is what we make it, and we have the ability to make it meaningful
and healthy and blissful, despite all the hurdles.
And your life is on that path now. My intuition does not fail me,
unless the ego gets too involved.
It's all good! Stick around and watch your own transformation!
You are the writer,remember?
"Pass On" by Michael Lee.
When i was taking synthetic(dl-alpha) vitamin E I would feel tired,nervous,eyes would look fatigued even though i would have had adequate sleep. I also found it hard to concentrate.Sometimes I would wake up gasping for air.I would also experience an increased heart rate.After about a week of not taking the synthetic (dl-alpha) vitamin E I was back to normal. When I started back taking the synthetic vitamin E all the earlier problems continued. Again after about a week of not taking the synthetic vitamin E my problems stopped.
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