Getting Meds - Help and Info Needed - II

[annalawny]

Hi, all - Thanks to everyone for their supportive and informative posts - I am new here, and just finding my way.  At some point, I will, hopefully, be assisting others on these boards.  But for now, I'm in need.  I don't have a lot of outside support, and therefore, am pretty isolated.  In Nursegirl's response to my last request for meds info, it came out that meds can take 4-6 weeks or so to 'kick in.'  

I am struggling with the ability to eat solid food, and on my best day I managed a Grilled Cheese sandwich; on my worst day, I struggled mightily with stuffing and mashed potatoes, having a 'fight or flight' reaction, where I ended up running out of the house and calling my shrink.  Awful.  Since those early days 2 months ago, I've been taking 1/4 an Ativan about 1/2 hour before dinner, every night, and it's been helpful.  However, in the past few days, I've been struggling anew - not as bad as before, but have had a couple of tough meals, which were just stuffing and potatoes.  I was trying to introduce peas as I am Veg starved (ideas, anyone?), but it was a no-go.  (I also have a lot of dental issues so my eating is already affected anyway.)  

I am facing a very stressful several weeks coming up where I will not have my usual family supoprt person available, and I'll have to get through that time on my own.  Does anyone have any ideas as to how to prepare for this?  I have made therapy appointments, so there's that.  But I am most concerned right now with the idea of trying a new psychiatric Med and having to deal w/ that alone for the first few weeks.  I fear having a reaction or something and being alone.  As is probably the case with others with anxiety / fears similar to mine, my doctor, while a wonderful person who has been supportive, has a limit as to how much contact / reassurance he can provide that is not directly related to a specifc physical problem he can treat.  I do not have the kind of work I can just 'not do' for a while while I deal with my mental health issues.  I need to try and plan as much as possible, ahead, so I will know what to do.  I realize this may sound cryptic / weird, but I don't want to put a lot of personal info on the internet.  Comments welcomed and appreciated.  Thanks.  

[annalawny]

Thanks guys for the quick feedback.  Alison, your answer was very supportive and understanding, and for that, I thank you.  I will certainly keep your offer of support in mind, as I am quite sure I will need it!  Appreciated.  More to write later, just starting my day.  Paxiled, are you named that because you're on that med?  Does it help you?  I like your idea of a holistic nutritionist - although my med budget isn't large.  I know that potatoes and stuffing "aren't particularly good for you," but did not realize peas weren't a vegetable.  I studied law, not nutrition, so my understanding of how food works is rudimentary, at best.  I would be interested in any links to any good sites or recommendations for any good books on the subject if you have any.  My issue is more than just a need for a positive attitude.  If it were as simple as deciding to 'be positive,' I would gladly have gone down that road.  This is an Inability to eat solid food, not so much a philosophical search.  I don't know if you're familiar with that experience, but it is a triumph for me to eat a piece of cheese, some peas, or what have you.  I am trying now to find the best ways to obtain sustenance here.  I like Alison's idea about the smoothies, and I will check into that.  I realize that I need to add healthier options to my diet, and am on the lookout for ways to do that, given my very limited abilities right now.  Thanks for responding.

[Paxiled]

This sounds like a therapy situation, so you can learn to understand this.  But you also might want to look into seeing a holistic nutritionist, if you can afford it (insurance won't cover it).  That way, you can work out a diet in a positive, rather than a negative, way, which might help your fear of eating.  Potatoes and stuffing aren't particularly good for you, and peas aren't a vegetable, which means you've never really studied food in any meaningful way.  I don't say this to be critical, but to suggest looking at this as a positive search for something fulfilling rather than the negative way you're looking at it now.  Don't know if it'll help, but it couldn't hurt.  I wish somebody had told me the difference between positive attitude and negative a long long time ago; maybe I wouldn't have gotten so stuck.  So I pass it on in that light and wish you all the best.

[Alisonj29]

I am sorry you are still struggling with the eating. Have you tried making smoothies? They are a great way to sneak veggies in. Carrots, greens etc and blend with fruit. Maybe it would be easier that way. Even get some protein powder in there and flax seed oil for optimum benefits. The 1/4 ativan is a very low dose so its great that it does help at times. Is that the dose you were put on, or what you are comfortable taking?
Its good you have scheduled therapy appts for the time that your  support person is not available. If you need anyone to talk to day or night I am here and can help you even if its just to chat. Think of the success you will feel when you get through the stressful time. If you think you will be more comfortable starting your med when your support person is around then wait. If you have to and your doctor has given the ok, maybe try half a tab of of the ativan when needed over the next bit.
My doctor(who has since retired) was amazing at providing me support and reassurance. If I wanted a test done to ease my mind he would do it. When he went on vacation I was in such a panic. But now I have a horrible doctor that doesnt help me out at all and I am still managing.
I have no idea if I am being helpful or just rambling. Just know that I am here for you if you need me. If you want send me a message and I can pass on my email or text etc.
Hang in there hun, you will get through this and come out a stronger person