Hi. I write here for the first time, even though I've been suffering from this kind of anxiety for a long time...I' a gay male and I always think that I will get HIV trough oral sex. i always come to this forum to read, but I feel nothing can reassure me enough. I am not very sexually active , and when I have anal sex it's always protected, but I have sometimes unprotected oral sex, and it happened few times that I bit my inner cheek a day or 2 days prior oral sex, and even If I know that I have phobia of this, I still did it. And after that I can't sleep, can't do anything for days, only search internet for the answers, etc. The irrational thinking goes that far that I think I will infect my future partners if they give me fellatio. And this really affect my every day life, my sexual , and emotional life. What should I do to stop have this irrational thoughts? Thank you
Well, they're not completely irrational. Going on the HIV site might give you more info and some education on how people get HIV and don't get it will do as much as can be done to deal with that problem. Heterosexuals have the same issues to deal with. That's not a high risk activity generally, but if you do have cuts of any kind, it does increase the small risk. If that bothers you that much, don't give oral sex to someone until they show you their test results. Receiving it isn't risky. But worrying about it as much as you're doing is a problem, you're right about that, it's making you unhappy. I'd consider seeing a therapist to discuss this and work through it and hopefully learn how not to think like this. It takes some time to work, so in the meantime, meditation and exercise can help you to relax your mind. Also know that while oral sex is low risk in general for HIV, it might give you other sexually transmitted diseases. There's no complete safety out there for any of us, gay or not, having sex or not, so you have to seek balance between seeking too much safety and having an enjoyable and loving life.
You've been given excellent advice to seek the help of a qualified psychiatrist and/or psychologist for treatment of your anxiety and obsessive thinking. We hope that you do that and are now closing this discussion.
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