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HIV anxiety and oral sex
Hi. I write here for the first time, even though I've been suffering from this kind of anxiety for a long time...I' a gay male and I always think that I will get HIV trough oral sex. i always come to this forum to read, but I feel nothing can reassure me enough. I am not very sexually active , and when I have anal sex it's always protected, but I have sometimes unprotected oral sex, and it happened few times that I bit my inner cheek a day or 2 days prior oral sex, and even If I know that I have phobia of this, I still did it. And after that I can't sleep, can't do anything for days, only search internet for the answers, etc. The irrational thinking goes that far that I think I will infect my future partners if they give me fellatio. And this really affect my every day life, my sexual , and emotional life. What should I do to stop have  this irrational thoughts? Thank you
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Well, they're not completely irrational.  Going on the HIV site might give you more info and some education on how people get HIV and don't get it will do as much as can be done to deal with that problem.  Heterosexuals have the same issues to deal with.  That's not a high risk activity generally, but if you do have cuts of any kind, it does increase the small risk.  If that bothers you that much, don't give oral sex to someone until they show you their test results.  Receiving it isn't risky.  But worrying about it as much as you're doing is a problem, you're right about that, it's making you unhappy.  I'd consider seeing a therapist to discuss this and work through it and hopefully learn how not to think like this.  It takes some time to work, so in the meantime, meditation and exercise can help you to relax your mind.  Also know that while oral sex is low risk in general for HIV, it might give you other sexually transmitted diseases.  There's no complete safety out there for any of us, gay or not, having sex or not, so you have to seek balance between seeking too much safety and having an enjoyable and loving life.
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Thank you for your kind answer. I 've been reading this site for a long period of time about same issues that I have. The point is that on the Hiv forum the general statement is that oral sex is no risk for HIV, I understand that , and I always have that in my mind. Untll it comes to oral sex, everythng changes. I am starting to convince myself I got it, and the anxiety is getting worse.That' is the reason I don't engage any kind of sex often , but when it happens, it is like that. I guess it is some kind of HIV phobia and it ruins my life somehow. i had it 5 years ago , and I thought it passed, but it comes back a again
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It is a phobia to continue worrying about a disease that you have been told you can't have. You stated that you know that it is no risk.
Either discuss this HIV phobia with your doctor or seek therapy because going to chat lines including the MH HIV forum earlier hasn't helped.
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5 years is a lot of pain to be worrying needlessly about this one disease. You don't take a lung cancer test every time someone blows some second hand smoke your way, so seek therapy to try to get relief.
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Thank you for your answer.Yes, i had it 5 years ago and it stopped when I finally tested negative 2 years ago.But since then I had several episodes of unproected oral sex, and I started freaking out again. I usually don't think about, but something always triggers my thoughts, and I start thinking 'what if''. It comes usually when I search internet. Last time it was when  read that an actor Danny Pintauro stated on tv that he got it from oral sex, and I started searching internet, and people say' Yes, it's possible when you have some cuts in mouth' etc. That freaks me out. Generally, I know oral is not risk for HIV, nor I 've ever heard someone got it  that way, but on internet you can read lots of different opinions and it fraks me out. I get obsessive thioughts about it.
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The point is I am not scared only about me. I am more obsessed that I will pass HIV to other people via oral sex.
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We are not affiliated with other sites so don't pay attention to what they say. We rely on the opinion of expert doctors. There is nothing else I can say, except that if you search the internet you will find false claims. Reread the part about lung cancer, and accept that you ignore a tiny but real risk there, and are fixated on a zero risk because of HIV phobia, so therapy is the only solution.
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15695260 tn?1443705964
You've been given excellent advice to seek the help of a qualified psychiatrist and/or psychologist for treatment of your anxiety and obsessive thinking.  We hope that you do that and are now closing this discussion.

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