HIV thinking, sadness

Could someone help me understand myself? I recently had discovered through Medhelp that there are LOTS of people like myself.

Since I was very young, it is very difficult for me  to "stay" happy, always finding some reason to put me down. Every time my life is ok i find some impossible possibility of things going very wrong in my mind, living always with the fear of something very bad to happen.

I have OCD and it turned out to the thinking of contracting AIDS through ways never documented (although possible, like shaking hands with cuts and contact to blood - already posted a question in the HIV Prevention community).

I practice LOTS of sports, eat VERY well, but am not giving life my best. I feel like a sinner.

Can someone give me a tip on how start to get well? I am 35 now and get the feeling life is sliping through my fingers without I taste it right. I am afraid of get old look back and see how much I have lost.

Sorry and thank you very much.

[greenlydia]

Please do NOT feel sorry about your feelings, EVER! No matter how weird you may think they are, they are yours and they are very real.
You've lived life on the fringes and in fear and I'm sorry for that.
OCD is very treatable and I strongly urge you to seek psychological help in dealing with it. There is no reason you must continue to live in the hell you're in now.
As far as HIV/AIDS goes, there are only three ways you could contract it. Unprotected anal/vaginal sex or sharing drug works. And I'm sure you were told that on the HIV Forum. Those people know what they're talking about and you absolutely need to believe and trust them.
I understand your feeling of life slipping through your fingers and it's totally up to you and completely within your power to put an end to it. Please find a good therapist and begin to get your life back. It's far too short to spend it living in fear when you don't have to.
There IS help for you...........go get it.
Let us know how you're doing, OK? We care.
Peace
Greenlydia    

  

[pablo_papito]

Have absolutely no words to describe how thakful I am.

You´re the second person in the world who talked to me like that (the first is my mom).

Thank you very much and God bless you.