HOCD OR DENIAL

[benny3399]

Hi I'm 17 years old and I believe to e suffering from HOCD. All the symptoms match what I'm gong through and I can't shake it. When I was younger I've always loved the idea of having a girlfriend and throughout middle school I dated multiple girls. I never thought about guys and always thoights guys were gross until when I was 16 my ex gf was talking about if I thought some other dude was attractive and I was like how can a guy be attractive. Then I thought yeah I guess he's good looking so then I freaked for about 3 months. It went away until about 8 'months later and that is to this day. So for the passed 4 months I have even miserable depressed and hating all the ideas. I can't focus in school and an struggling because of it. I have a gf who I love and want these thoughts to go away. Some of them get me light headed and then eventually once I feel good another idea pops in my head that I don't like and my mind keeps telling me u like it when I KNOW I DONT. I ride watching gay porn but I realized that that does no do anything as it is erotic so it gets some people eroused anyways. I've never gotten a boner by seeing a dude but from gay porn sometimes I will but I hated it so much and it was nasty. I just want these thoughts to go away and worry about things that are important. Sometimes I will think of something that proves to me I'm not and I'll feel good for a day and then I'll have to think of something else to make sure I really meant it. THIS IS Torture I hate the thoights. I see gay kids in my school who are happy and I always think like yeah they're happy cuz they like the thoights. Any normal straight guy who had these thoughts would stress out too (I think) PLEASE READ AND HELP IM BEGGING YOU. I just want this to go away

[LRon]

Just because you once acknowledged that a guy was good-looking does not mean you are gay or might be. Girls/women will talk about other girls/women's looks all the time and say things like "She's so pretty" or whatever, it doesn't mean they are lesbian. We can acknowledge someone of the same gender is attractive and perhaps even admire their good looks and still be 100% straight. There is a baseball player who I have thought must drive women crazy and I wish I could be young again and that good-looking. Doesn't make me gay or bi or anything like that. Relax, you sound like you are definitely heterosexual. Stop obsessing! Easy to say, I know.