I'm new to your group, but I'm so glad I found you. In 20 minutes I was supposed to be meeting my new internist (a female) for a "getting to know you" meeting and real brief B/P and Diabetes check. Well, I won't be there, because I'm having such immense anxiety I can't go. Here are the events leading up to this:
1. My last internist (a male) sexually assaulted me
2. I found out 3 days ago that I'm the victim of identity fraud and my entire checking account was emptied out thereby leaving me with $8.13.
3. When I went to the sheriff to report this crime, (and I CONSULT WITH THE DEPARTMENT SINCE MY BACKGROUND IS IN CRIMINAL LAW) I know all the folks there and, as you might know, they have to "run" your SS# while you're making out the police report. Well, 3/4 of the way through a dear friend of mine (a Lt. Sheriff) came into the room and VERY APOLOGETICALLY said to me, "Barb, you're not going to believe this, but there's a warrant out for your arrest." Let me die right there. I took it very well, but the jurisdiction that issued the warrant would not hear from the sheriff that this was a mistake [the person who stole my identity, got a speeding ticket in 'my name', didn't pay the ticket, and a warrant was issued for my immediate arrest]. Before I knew it I was handcuffed, being transported to another jursidiction 25 miles away (by a dear friend - everyone felt terrible about this) and then turned over to another car with 2 officers from the other city who drove me to their police department, fingerprinted me, took MUG SHOTS, put me in a prison jumpsuit (a flattering dark blue - NOT ORANGE!!). They FINALLY understood that if I'd known I was a wanted criminal I would have NEVER gone to the sheriff's office to fill out of police report, so now they also believed I was totally a victim of identity theft. Nevertheless, their policy required that I post bond of $167. I have one brother who was working the evening shift at a local hospital, an 87-year old mother, and 1 friend whose glaucoma prevents her from driving at night. NO ONE could post bond for me. BUT, THANK GOODNESS, they turned out to be terrified of me because they finally did their "health check" and found out that I had super-high blood pressure (and no meds with me); out of control Diabetes (and no meds with me) and had just been released from the hospital with MRSA (the deadly infection that almost took my life) and was still on antibiotics. They knew that my health condition would deteriorate during the night and I'd most assuredly wind back up in their hospital. SO, the chief of the department came in from home and allowed my release under a personal recognizance bond (hadn't been done in 25 years) as long as I took an oath to return quickly [within 3-4 days to the court] to pay the fine or show up on October 8th for a court hearing. They told me that even if I did pay the fine, I might have to go before the judge to explain the situation. MEANWHILE, I'M AN ATTORNEY...
So...I'm a little tightly wound. And one person who could offer some help - my new doctor - I couldn't get in my car and drive there since I'm vomiting, have diarrhea and shaking like a leaf. I called the doctor's office - they understood 100%, but I'm asking if any of you could offer some ideas to relieve the anxiety. I do have a psychiatrist who treats a sleep disorder (I don't have a mental health problem, yet he would likely feel comfortable prescribing a few pills to get me through the next few days).
Any ideas besides medications, would be so very appreciated. I'm in bed, shaking, cold and hot - I guess you folks know the story...
The new internist suggested participating in an activity that would completely get my mind off of this whole mess until my Psych. could be reached - he's on vacation, of course! - might work.
I couldn't meditate now, if the world depended on it - can't settle my body down.
THEN, I have to prepare to answer questions from my Mother and brother about meeting my new MD, etc. YUCK!!
I'm sure I sound like a whiner and I feel like a whiner, but I sure could benefit from your group knowlege.
I do LOVE art and making jewelry and (believe it or not) cleaning - just regular vacuuming, dusting, etc - not OCD type of cleaning which might not be healthy right now. Maybe I can get some energy up and try to string a necklace or something. BTW my ears are ringing - is that anxiety? I've never had that before and my sugar# and B/P are currently within normal limits.
Thank you all. I will keep all of you in my thoughts as I'm sure your difficulties are more complicated than mine.
Oh Crumbs,you what a story I have to go read it again, you have made my day because nothing that happens I hope, will be as bad as you have been through, I hope you are recovering and managing to have a chuckle at the unfairness of life, I know I know, (I hear my husband saying "whoever said life was Fair ")Now sit down get a glass of good wine and let it flow over you, you are still alive....just Yes I reccomend ,no meds, if you have to take anything try small dose 5HTP or Sam-E but bsest take a good supplement of B Complex and Vit C and a fish oil smoothie just reccomended here.
oh my goodness. no WONDER you're having anxiety. such a stressful situation. if you're really not feeling well i'd say just get some rest if you can. if you feel up to it later on when you have a bit more energy then do something easy/distracting/fun that you enjoy. when i'm not feeling well and i'm anxious i generally lay in bed and try to watch some tv or a movie to get my mind off of things. it generally works well. or call up a friend for some distraction.
also, the ringing in the ears could be caused by anxiety. i've experienced it before, so don't worry about that. :) you've got enough on your plate!
good luck and i hope everything goes well for you.
Wow, what a story. You shouldn't tackle the legal matters by yourself even if you are an attorney. All that plus your health issues only drives the latter more into the negative. Worrying causes stress. Stress causes ill health and anxiety. Go find a nice Spa, soak in a hot tub, and treat yourself to a soothing massage by a female masseuse and unwind from the tight knot that's causing you to spiral downward. Get into yoga, breathing exercises, meditation, and good nutrition. All these will help guide you.
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