Help me please.

I have a couple questions to ask but first I will start by explaining my symptoms. I have had social anxiety for many years now, I never had it when I was a child I think it came onto me because I was a late bloomer in school so I always felt like I wasn't part of the crew in school. I always felt like I was behind the times.

I suffer from social anxiety and blushing. Every time I speak to people in public I start to blush. It doesn't matter how many people I talk to, it can be maybe 1 or 2 and it depends on where it is. For example if I am waiting in line at a grocery store and I am buying a drink, I will blush when giving the cashier money because I think she is looking at me weird or is judging me because I look and sound younger than I really am.

I am 21 years old and I look and sound like I am around 15 or younger. I was really hoping that I could get on testosterone to boost some developmental defects I have such as lack of deepening of the voice and lack of body and facial hair. Does anyone know if this is possible for me to do through a doctor? I have had a testosterone level check done and I am at 272 which is pretty low considering my age.

I am afraid I am never going to look or sound my age or any older than I am sounding or looking now. I am afraid I will look and sound like a little kid my whole life. I am afraid I will never cure my social anxiety and grow up in life to do what normal people do. I do not want to live like this for the rest of my life. I don't want to be scared all the time to do normal things, I would love to go to school and walk into a classroom like a normal person and get a degree without having to worry about blushing in public or a classroom.

I don't want to kill myself nore do I think I will. However I don't know how much longer I can live like this without something bad happening to myself. Please can anyone help me?

[Snookion]

Sorry for the double post I just figured this would be an easier way for the appropriate person to find and reply to.

[Snookion]

For an easier way for someone who can help me to reply to this* (correcting my last paragraph)

[remar]

What does your Dr say about you taking testosterone? It sounds like you might get a lot out of counseling to help with your self esteem. Have you given that any thought?

[Snookion]

I haven't talked to my doctor about testosterone yet, and I tried counsling but it hasn't helped me.

[Steve_MHModerator]

dupe, pm'd

[nursegirl6572]

Well, it is understandable that you are suffering from social anxiety and low self esteem based on what you've described about your appearance.  You're at a rough age to begin with, where peer pressure is tremendous and even the most "perfect looking" person feels judged and inadequate in certain environments.  

First, it wouldn't hurt to discuss these issues with your doctor...see if first, there is a medical reason for your low testosterone levels and a way to treat it (which there is).

Second, it would be a good idea at that point to ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist so you can start addressing the anxiety with treatment...whether it be medications and/or therapy (both is really the best approach).  There are medications, called beta blockers, that may be helpful to you. They are often prescribed in social anxiety situations...and to help with the undesirable blushing symptoms you explain.  That is just one example of one kind of medication that you may find helpful.  There are of course other options as well.  This is why you need to discuss this with a doctor who specializes in treating these kinds of conditions.

Lastly....please realize that suicidal thoughts are nothing to take lightly.  I understand your despair and frustration, but it is VERY important to keep in mind if at ANY time you seriously contemplate harming yourself, or others....that you seek IMMEDIATE help....even if you have to call 911 or go to the ER.  You won't always feel this way...sure, it will take some time and work to get yourself to a better place...but it will happen.

Hang in there and let us know how you're doing.

[Snookion]

Well I just got done talking to my doctor, I left him a message via an advice nurse about my low testosterone levels. They are "In the normal range" however my levels are 272 which isn't very good at all from what I have been reading online. I strongly feel that I need testosterone shots to fully develop and mature as a human being and I am afraid that if I don't get them I won't be able too. Does anyone have any ideas?

I am going to try and make an appointment and talk to him in person, maybe something will change and he will see if I can get testosterone shots. I will ask him about beta blockers and maybe see if I can get hypnotherapy. I have tried counseling and it did not work at all.

[hmf099]

how long were you in therapy before you found "it didn't work"? We have to give these things time. Everything with anxiety is a bit of work, nothing happens overnight for us. Also, I agree with nursegirl that you should definantly talk to a psychiatrist about beta blockers and other meds, not just your md. These drugs work best in combination with therapy, alone they are just masking symptoms, we aren't "getting better" with drugs alone but they can be an important part of our treatment. Def talk to your doc in person about the testosterone, or if he's that closed minded that he won't even discuss it, I'd see a different dr. Good luck with everything!

[Snookion]

Thanks... I think I might talk to him again about testosterone and I am going to keep trying until I can get into this testosterone replacement therapy.