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Recently I was struck in the head and was dignoised with post concussion syndrome.  While I have improved cognatively my mental health has been waivering.  I began having general anxiety which progressed to full lown panic attacks, which progressed to intrusive thoughts of jumping from buildings and swereving into traffic or pedrestrians while driving, which has now progressed to me feeling I have lost controll and that I am insane, wanting to check things I know I have done, or have not done ie if I really went to the store or really went to the mental health appointment which rationally I know I have done.  I am wondering if this sounds like OCD to you, if the fear of my thoughts the aggressinve and the loss of control really means I am not insane just driving my self crazy with anxiety and fear.  I have rituals which my cell phone and I feel sexual in nature  such as masterbation.  Before this happened I had months where i obsessed over life after death, and I have had obsessions of HIV, STD's and other diseases and have made appointments to heve theses checked for.  I went and was evaluated at the ER M.H crisis unit a few weeks ago and was not admitted.  The intrusive thoughts of aggression are rarely acted upon with OCD if I am correct?  I just began therapy and am not on medication yet and want my life back.
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Avatar universal
Yeah I wonder if Ive really done things like I said then want to check even though I know the answer and question myself and if I am insane, however ive read insane people dont worry about being insane, so I guess thats a god sign at least lol
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1238554 tn?1339420116
I didn't have that exactly, but I know that checking and rechecking things is a very common symptom of OCD. My compulsions were more like calling or texting my mom everytime I felt anxious so I could make sure she was alright. I have a slight compulsion kind of like what you describe, but only when it comes to my apartment door being locked. I check that a few times, even though I know it's locked. I also always check things in my pocket, especially money or my phone, to make sure it's there. I've kind of always done those things, but they have defnitely lessened quite a bit since I've started treatment.
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your encouragement, I just want my life back so frustrating.  Did you ever question weither you did things or not and feel the urge to chack even thouhg rationally you know you did them?
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1238554 tn?1339420116
I'm on 20mg of Fluoxetine, 25mg of Amitriptyline to help me sleep, and 1/2-1mg Lorazepam for use only when I'm having a panic attack that I can't calm myself out of using any other method I've learned in therapy.

I've done really well in treatment, the therapy has helped me tremendously. When this started I slept on my mom's couch because I couldn't be away from her for fear something horrible would happen. I was having more or less constant panic attacks and didn't sleep more then a few hours a night. I couldn't leave the house, I missed about 2 weeks of work and I didn't go out with my friends. I had really horrible derealization, which is when everything feels like a dream, or like I'm not real, like I'm looking at everything through a fog.

I had horrible thoughts almost constantly about hurting myself or others. Not thoughts about doing it, thoughts about being scared that one day I might do it. It was a horrible time, definitely one of the worst things I have ever been through. I thought I would never, ever be normal again.

Now though I'm back to work, I'm going out with friends, I even went on a road trip a week ago. I'm back in my apartment and things are more or less back to normal. I still have bad days and I still have panic attacks once in a while, but things are so much better. The intrusive thoughts have also lessened quite a bit......now I only get them when I'm having a serious panic attack.

Hang in there, it does get better. Just make sure you find a therapist you like, and a doctor that will listen to you. My first doctor was horrible and she tried to blame my anxiety problems all on my lack of exercise. My doctor now is much better, he understands that anxiety and OCD are disorders and it's not all my fault.
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Avatar universal
May I ask what medications you are on and how well you have progresssed in treatment
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1238554 tn?1339420116
I've also had intrusive, sometimes violent thoughts. I get worried that I'm going to hurt myself or someone else......that one day I'm just going to snap and go insane. It's incredibly frightening to have thesse thoughts because it is something I would NEVER do. It is OCD, which is also an anxiety disorder. I've been told that when I start getting anxious for really no apparent reason, which happens a lot when you have an anxiety disorder, my mind is looking for something that fits the physical reaction I'm having. Usually it's the most outlandish thing I can think of, like hurting myself or someone else. I would never do it, but the thought is so frightening that it matches the scary physical reaction I'm having. It sounds weird, but it makes a lot of sense too I think.

I'm glad you've begun seeing a therapist, that has definitely been a huge help to me. The meds have also helped, so I hope you get into your doctor soon to see if that's something you will need as well. Take care and good luck!
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