Help!

[sabnam143]

I have always been an anxious person when it comes to life but i have always gotten over it.Meaning i used to be anxious about a test and then after the test i was fine. Last friday i got the flu and I was sick home almost for a week from work. I am a new grad nurse and have been working at a med surge floor. I always get really anxious and quesy when i know i have to work the next day however after coming home from work i am fine. But then its a viscious cycle every week, i am relieved to come back from work and to know i have few days off but then when it gets to the end of my days off I get really anxious and feel quesy and heart rate goes up. BUT for the past 5 days, I have been waking up with anxiety that i cant seem to pinpoint at the cause, i feel depressed and want to cry all day long, I cant do anything that i normally do without feeling bored/anxious. I cant seem to enjoy anything anymore. I used to love going to the movies but now when i go, I see all these people around and wish more than anything that i can laugh and be happy just like them. I find myself looking at myself and thinking why in the world i feel the way i do. Yes I hate my job and hate going but i have my fiance,my family and friends that are there for me. I cant act like im happy.I feel like im screaming inside because i cant figure myself out and my family and friends are frustrated that they cant either. I have no appetite. This is ruining my life and I dont know what to do. Today is my first day back at work and i am praying that when i get off I will ok but i still feel like **** right now. Please help me!!!  I want my life back =(

[fuzzy882]

I know what you mean, you either love it or hate it.  And thank-you, it's nice to be appreciated.

Kathy

[Jade59]

Lol......just to clarify....I wasn't suggesting you quit NURSING, I am just assuming there is some kind of rotation and you may be happier in a different part of the hospital.  

I was in the hospital myself recently and I must say, nurses have to be the hardest workers I have ever seen.   You guys have to put up with a LOT to say the least.


Best of luck.........

[fuzzy882]

Excellent advise from itallpasses.  I undertand what It took to get through the schooling to become what you are. And I might add congrats. We need good nurses.  
That type of work can be very anxiety provoking, It's hard to leave it there and not take it home.  Sound's to me like there is some doubt you have withen yourself?  Are you getting harrased by anyone?  If you have any of these feeling's, Please, go to your supervisor ASAP. You are at the right place to get help.  In your line of work, you have to be on your very best, so do seek someone that can help you.  I hope you join this forum, this is real intresting to me, You see I am also a nurse and have been through the same thing, and if I'd only knew then what I know now.  I am very pleased to say I am back to work with the help and advise of some very dear and wise people.

Please, Please stay in touch and let me know, let us all know...

Kathy

[Jade59]

I bet your anxiety stems from your unhappiness at your job.  Years ago I had a job I loved and it was pretty easy to get up every morning even though I had anxiety because I was excited to get there.  3yrs later though, I was hating that job and my anxiety upon waking became so bad that I called in sick alot and eventually lost it.  As soon as I didn't have to get up to go to a job I hated every morning, the anxiety eased up.  

[itallpasses]

First of all, be assured that thousands have gone through and overcome the same issue.  The first thing you should do is get checkup to get a medical baseline.  You might also research sources (friends, colleagues, physicians) for a therapist.  In conjuction with ruling out physiologic reasons for your symptoms, therapy will help you understand what is happening.  To break the circle of anxiety you appear to be in, you must learn how to stop the triggering thoughts from gaining momentum.  You will survive this but it requires that you be proactive with your care.  Work out a game plan with your physician, therapist, and other people you trust.  As you see yourself going forward with effort, your self esteem will return and that's the beginning in battling the negativity. Take care and good luck.