How can I get rid of these anxiety and depression?

[worriedbit]

So 1 month ago I had an extreme low exposure to HIV (from a shemale )sex worker as people classify its risk ( receptive fellatio without ejaculation ). This is a very big sin in my community and I regret it very much. It was my first and last illegal relation. However my fear of contracting hiv through this act destroyed me this month. I am a university student and I had too many good things in my life before this incident that I used to enjoy them. Since that incident and I never smiled or laughed a real one. I had an hiv antibodies test after 25 days it was negative but I couldn't take it as conclusive as universal guidelines ask to test after 3 months.It's killing me that I cheated on my beloved girl this way. It's killing me that I would lose everything good in my life If I tested positive later due to this incident. This also affected my study greatly by getting low grades. I saw a counselor but he could do nothing to me other than testing after a month. I never wanted to do such illegal relation but I was addicted on masturbation and porno for 8 years which lead me to do such relation. This anxiety and depression are complicating my life and although everything suggests a negligible risk for my exposure I can't relax. What should I do ?

[Lily_MHModerator]

Hi,

You have been answered accurately and fully regarding this twice now. We are closing this thread and wish you the best.


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[AnxiousNoMore]

Your post on the HIV community forum earlier has been closed since you have received all the medical science information available. To summarize it has been explained a few times there that you have zero risk.

You said above " I saw a counselor but he could do nothing to me ............. "
Resolving anxiety in your case is straightforward in that no problem exists, so the solution will be accepting that.
However since your worried mind has you in a state that you are unable to accept the science, seeing a counselor again is the only solution other than waiting in agony for perhaps years for your mind to stop playing tricks on you.
You didn't have the science info previously that the HIV board has now provided, so take that with you for your next session and perhaps the counselor can help you accept it.

[worriedbit]

thanks

[worriedbit]

But please; can you tell me what's wrong with all those sites that put a real risk from this exposure ? what about the study published in 2000 stating that at least 39 documented cases were found ? how reliable is the study of the 135 discordant couple ? I think if this study is scientifically accredited , then you will find rare sources talking about a risk; but go around google and see how many site put a risk from even the smallest cut in the mouth ! I just need something to refute all what is spread on google .. Even in medhelp the doctors put a small risk but never zero, why ? These are my last questions I promise. I appreciate if you would convince me

[AnxiousNoMore]

You have been fully answered on the HIV forum per the moderator, and this is an anxiety forum.