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How my Anxiety started, also one question about it....
by mikej1736, Jun 02, 2007 12:00AM
This is my story on how I believe my anxiety started....
I'm only posting this so others can read it and see one way it can happen.
It all started with a pinched nerve. One night at a party part of my leg started feeling tingly, very tingly, so tingly it burned. Then it went numb. I didn't know what to think, I started to think of all the reasons in my head why it would do this. The only reason I could think of was that my old grandma has blood clots and thats what it was. I freaked out, but didnt tell anyone at the party. I ran up to the bathroom to see if the part of my leg changed color, or anything else, but it didnt. It was normal. It was just a lil numb. After that night it felt fine, but continued to have "episodes" where it would burn and go numb.
Probably the worst thing I could have done was get on the internet and start reading about symptoms and diseases. I realize now that I'm a complete hypochondriac. Anything that involved numbness or tingling I thought I had. I went from thinking I had blood clots to brain tumors. While wondering what it was, was when I started to notice anything and everything about my body. Any little disturbance or something that I didn't think was supposed to be there scared me. The night I believe the worst of it came was when I went over a friends house and drank a huge cup of coffee at 2am. I drove back home and wanted to goto sleep, but my body felt weird. My heart was racing, I thought I was having a heart attack. And I could notice stuff in my vision. Of course it was merely the caffeine that trigged it, but I was freaking out over it all. It was then that I believe I had my first panic attack. I suddenly felt like something bad was going to happen, like I was going to die. But nothing happened. I was fine, and I was amazed nothing happened. At the time I didn't know anything about panic attacks so I didn't know what it was. I was in fear that it would happen again, only the next time kill me.
After that my body was on scan mode looking for anything and everything wrong with it. It was then my vision would begin to cause even more fear in me. I noticed I had more visible blood vessels in my left eye and then I looked up eye problems and diseases. I noticed floaters (but at the time didnt know what they were) and was scared from those. I also had this symptom that called Visual Snow which I had a hard time describing to doctors. After being checked by the neurologist and being told it was merely a pinched nerve, and I shouldn't worry about anything, I didn't believe him. In fact, I never believed anything any of the doctors told me, they all said I was fine. But I clearly wasnt fine, I could feel physical symptoms. I would still have the panic attacks and my head would feel a lil tingly. (later I learned its from being scared and not breathing right)
One day I told my mom what I felt. (I dont know why, but I kept it all a huge secrete for a long time) And she said "oh thats anxiety". And then she told me how it runs in my family, that my mom, my sister, my grandma and my aunt all have it.
For awhile my symptoms got better, they all but vanished. I knew that I had a pinched nerve in my leg, I wasnt the lease bit worried about it. I finally discovered what floaters are, and was no longer scared from them. I also knew what anxiety and panic attacks were, and after knowing what it was, I no longer feared a panic attack (I still get them occasionally), I knew how it was going to feel and just expected it and got on.
But one symptom remains that still freaks me out, the visual snow. (I've looked at medical info on it, it matches the description of it perfectly) Thinking way back, I can remember sorta seeing it when I was little. But the past few days I've been concentrating on seeing it, and its like I have all those anxiety symptoms all over again. I start freaking out, and just think brain tumor or something bad, even though I have no other symptoms for it.
I currently take no meds for anxiety, and I have not seen a psychologist for it. I thought it would get better by itself, and for awhile it did, but now it seems to be back. It's only when I start thinking about it that my head feels weird. Then when I try to not think about it, I find myself thinking about it the most. Only when I am preoccupied with something is when I feel fine.
There is not much in the eye section on Visual Snow, but does anyone know if it can be tied to anxiety?
Also, everything I described in my story is anxiety, correct?
I'm only posting this so others can read it and see one way it can happen.
It all started with a pinched nerve. One night at a party part of my leg started feeling tingly, very tingly, so tingly it burned. Then it went numb. I didn't know what to think, I started to think of all the reasons in my head why it would do this. The only reason I could think of was that my old grandma has blood clots and thats what it was. I freaked out, but didnt tell anyone at the party. I ran up to the bathroom to see if the part of my leg changed color, or anything else, but it didnt. It was normal. It was just a lil numb. After that night it felt fine, but continued to have "episodes" where it would burn and go numb.
Probably the worst thing I could have done was get on the internet and start reading about symptoms and diseases. I realize now that I'm a complete hypochondriac. Anything that involved numbness or tingling I thought I had. I went from thinking I had blood clots to brain tumors. While wondering what it was, was when I started to notice anything and everything about my body. Any little disturbance or something that I didn't think was supposed to be there scared me. The night I believe the worst of it came was when I went over a friends house and drank a huge cup of coffee at 2am. I drove back home and wanted to goto sleep, but my body felt weird. My heart was racing, I thought I was having a heart attack. And I could notice stuff in my vision. Of course it was merely the caffeine that trigged it, but I was freaking out over it all. It was then that I believe I had my first panic attack. I suddenly felt like something bad was going to happen, like I was going to die. But nothing happened. I was fine, and I was amazed nothing happened. At the time I didn't know anything about panic attacks so I didn't know what it was. I was in fear that it would happen again, only the next time kill me.
After that my body was on scan mode looking for anything and everything wrong with it. It was then my vision would begin to cause even more fear in me. I noticed I had more visible blood vessels in my left eye and then I looked up eye problems and diseases. I noticed floaters (but at the time didnt know what they were) and was scared from those. I also had this symptom that called Visual Snow which I had a hard time describing to doctors. After being checked by the neurologist and being told it was merely a pinched nerve, and I shouldn't worry about anything, I didn't believe him. In fact, I never believed anything any of the doctors told me, they all said I was fine. But I clearly wasnt fine, I could feel physical symptoms. I would still have the panic attacks and my head would feel a lil tingly. (later I learned its from being scared and not breathing right)
One day I told my mom what I felt. (I dont know why, but I kept it all a huge secrete for a long time) And she said "oh thats anxiety". And then she told me how it runs in my family, that my mom, my sister, my grandma and my aunt all have it.
For awhile my symptoms got better, they all but vanished. I knew that I had a pinched nerve in my leg, I wasnt the lease bit worried about it. I finally discovered what floaters are, and was no longer scared from them. I also knew what anxiety and panic attacks were, and after knowing what it was, I no longer feared a panic attack (I still get them occasionally), I knew how it was going to feel and just expected it and got on.
But one symptom remains that still freaks me out, the visual snow. (I've looked at medical info on it, it matches the description of it perfectly) Thinking way back, I can remember sorta seeing it when I was little. But the past few days I've been concentrating on seeing it, and its like I have all those anxiety symptoms all over again. I start freaking out, and just think brain tumor or something bad, even though I have no other symptoms for it.
I currently take no meds for anxiety, and I have not seen a psychologist for it. I thought it would get better by itself, and for awhile it did, but now it seems to be back. It's only when I start thinking about it that my head feels weird. Then when I try to not think about it, I find myself thinking about it the most. Only when I am preoccupied with something is when I feel fine.
There is not much in the eye section on Visual Snow, but does anyone know if it can be tied to anxiety?
Also, everything I described in my story is anxiety, correct?
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I reached a point where I thought that my body is somehow TESTING my brain by showing a brand new symptom every day or whenever I get over the last symptom to see if I'm going to freek out or not. If I don't freek out from any particular symptom or if I got used to it then slowly it goes & a brand new one comes along until I start to freek out :)
Internet search is very dangerous to many people including me, but what made it a bit easier is that I always go back & think that Drs have years of experience & tons of knowledge & I would not believe them after doing a full evidenced check with XRAY & tests, etc... while I believe myself researching for 20 minutes on the internet without any experience or knowledge...!!! it didn't sound right to me & I stopped getting scared of diseases I see on internet & even lowered down my research a lot to just look for side effect of any medication, etc...
I believe the key to anxiety is simple: Do the medical checks & rule out any physical issues with your body - Don't get scared of any symptom you get & it will disappear.
Easy to say I know.........extremely hard to do!!
cheers,
1. I am a stay at home mom of a 2 and 5 year old boy who do not nap at all during the day there is no break for 14 hours straight.
2. Trying to sell 2 houses an in SERIOUS financial trouble,
3. Moving cross country in 8 weeks.
4. I quit smoking MJ cold turkey and is grating on my nerves.
5. Hubby and I have an OK relationship but still problems...
6. High blood pressure and had a cancer scare a month back..found a fatty tumor in my arm and thought it was cancerous and I would have to call hospice.
7.My mother in law died of cancer in December and I basically watched her fade away in a matter of days...now I always think I have cancer.
Now I have serious facial sensations and problems. The only time it goes away is when I am outside in the sunshine walking and in the pool. I also went on a mini vacation for 3 days 2 weeks ago and I had not one tingle or pain . The SECOND I got back to this house the weird facial sensations came back. I also went out to dinner on Saturday and had a margarita. I didnt have one tinge or sensation the 2 hours we were out. Maybe I have too much time on my hands to google think and worry. Its probably why it never goes away except when Im asleep or outside when Im not thinking about it. I am going see my shrink again..I havent gone in 3 weeks and I am seriously thinking about taking some anxiety meds to see if this all goes away. Does anyone have senstations or problems that never seem to subside?
Thanks and sorry this is so bloody long!!
Stacey