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I am always thinking really bad thoughts... why?
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I am always thinking really bad thoughts... why?

I just want to say first off I know no one wants to hear a relationship problem and that's not what I have, my symptoms are very odd and of major concern to me, thanks.. I broke up with a girl 2 months ago and haven't talked to her or seen her since... Since the day I met her in March 2009 I didn't go more than 3-5 days without seeing her and no more than 2 days without talking to her, we fought a lot but at the same time we got a long and were close. She was the first real girl I had sex with and we did it a lot.. Anyways she won't talk to me or acknowledge that she knows me now.. I try to say Hi, she says to leave her alone and she hates me.. Every night I try to sleep since January when things started getting really bad, I will think constantly about her, not about the good things but the bad..things she's done bad, her cheating, being mean, saying mean things about sex and personal things and most importantly why she can't even talk to me, that's what I think about every day and night and I cannot get to sleep to save my life either, I just want the thoughts to go away ( I was diagnosed with Major depressive disorder and an anxiety disorder before I had even met her..so it only got worse, a million times worse ), constantly. I can't stop it no matter what I do. In reality I am fine and ok with it, I respect her opinion, though I would like to be friends. In my mind I can't stop thinking and there is nothing I can do! Can anyone help please, any advice? Thanks, Shawn
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Hi Shawn.  It is often difficult to maintain a friendship with an ex regardless of why you broke up.  The best thing you can due is respect her wishes and give her space.  With time she may get over her anger and want to be friends.  If you are always there trying to be friends then she has no way to miss you and knows no matter what, you are always there!  Back off so she can have the opportunity to calm down, and maybe want to be friends. She also may never want to be friends, and this is common and you will have to accept this.  You will meet someone else once you put this behind you. It sounds like she has absolutely no respect for you, why even bother with her?  She did a lot to hurt you and tear away at your self-esteem, she is like poison for you.  People like her put others down to feel better about themselves, and this will never change, and it's the other person who pays the price for her actions.  You deserve better than her, and should want better!  Let her go, you need nice, respectable people in your life.  Anyone who truly cares about you will not treat you so disrespectfully, nor should you allow one to treat you this way.  Start thinking about YOU and what you want, and deserve out of another person.  Some people are just mean....period.  You have to accept that she has some serious issues and move on.  You don't need friends like her.  She did you wrong, learn from it and keep moving forward in your life.  If you can't stop obcessing about her, try therapy to learn how to cope with it and move on.  Respect yourself and ask why you would even want to be friends with someone like this. You're allowing her treatment of you to define who and what you are,  it's like a big anchor holding you down.  Respect yourself and be strong, take your life back without her before she does more damage.  Take care.
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what goes round comes round, basically she did wrong by cheating and treated you bad so everything will one day backfire on her it, always does in some way, you can do better than a liar and cheat no one deserves this neither do you, go out with your mates let her go shes not worth it one bit, you'll find someone one day who'll love you like you love them this is what you deserve, good luck duck :)
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