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I can't sleep because I'm afraid I'm going to die.
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I can't sleep because I'm afraid I'm going to die.

For approx 2 years now, off and on, I start to find myself terrified of going to sleep because I think that If I do that I will die.   I know this sounds rediculous... it even does to me.   The only way I can fall asleep is to have my husband put his arms around me so I can feel safe.    

I think the reason is that 5 years ago on the night my mom died, she told me she was just really tired and really exausted and just kept saying how tired she was.  I never saw her alive again.  She was 48  That was the worst night of my life.    Then in 2008 my grandpa ( her father) died in his sleep at 70 years old.    
After this, I immediately started having sleep troubles.  I can lie awake till 3 AM and just lay there in fear and when I try to doze off, my brain prevents it and I jerk awake again terrified that I just almost died...

Please help me.   I feel crazy.  My husband helped me through this a long time ago, but I don't know how to tell him that It is happening to me again.   I am taking Wellbutrin for depression, but nothing for anxiety.   I have 3 small kids ( under 5)  and so taking meds like that make me nervous.  

I don't want to feel like this anymore.  I'm tired of being afraid to die.    :(
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Avatar_f_tn
I too went through this fear, and at times still do, i have 3 daughters under the age of 8 and every night i have to kiss them and tell them i love them  100x before they can go to sleep, this out of my fear that im not gonna wake up in the morning... Its a very disturbing fear! i would suggest seeing a therapist, venting out your feelings will help. Its tragic what happened to your mother and grandfather but that doesnt mean its going to happen to you! ive started reading a book before bed and that has helped me alot to not lay there and dwell on negative things. I hope you feel better soon and can move on from this fear.
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1324269_tn?1282895413
I have the same exact problem...some nights it is worse then others.  I was diagnosed with a anxiety/panic attack disorder back in 1991 and I had problems sleeping prior to that.  My mind is always wandering.  What does work for me is therapy -- talking my frustrations out with my therapist (you can always tell when I haven't seen my therapist for a couple weeks -- due to her being out of town -- I stop sleeping well) and also, taking 1 mg. of Ativan a half hour prior to me laying down.  I also ONLY use my bed to sleep in.  I used to do everything in bed -- read, watch TV, write, etc. etc.  I still have my TV on at night (I can't sleep in total silence) but it is always set to a TV show that I will not get interested in (to avoid the temptation of watching the program) and at a very low volume.  If I cannot get to sleep within a half hour after crawling into bed (which is rare nowadays) I purposely get out of bed and focus on another activity, one that will make me drowsy.  I find surfing the web to be quite helpful -- NEVER start reading a book when you cannot sleep however, at least if you are like me.  Once I get into a book, I will not put it down...meaning, more sleep problems.  Also, I really would check with your family doctor...medication, in the right dosages helps a lot.  I am finally seeing a psyhciatrist who does not push unnecessary medicine onto his patients.  Right now I take 4.5 mg. of Klonopin and 90 mg. of Cymbalta for anxiety and depression....the combination works rather well.  I'm all for attempting to heal oneself naturally but that doesn't always work and I don't think, in your case, it appears to be working.  If you want, email me privately...I'll get back to you as soon as possible with other ideas (if I can think of any!).  Just hang in there...it is tough - I KNOW but you will be able to learn to handle this situation, one way or another.  Have faith in yourself!

Melissa
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1118884_tn?1338596450
Hi,
It is completely understandable how you would have this fear.  The subconscious is fighting sleep.  Having a loving husband is an enormous help.

Sounds like you have techniques that work for you.

My concern is twofold: first: a therapist could help you with fears that are keeping you awake: second: Wellbutrin, altho' it works for many, didn't for me.  My anxiety increased and I was agitated day and night.  Same with Prozac: I was turned into a complete insomniac:).  So a look at the meds is in order.

Post anytime.  We are a good group.  Never feel your concerns are odd.  This is one, as you have already heard, that is well known.  Hoping you soon get a good night's sleep.
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650416_tn?1274715095
wow...........i should have joined this forum a long long time ago..............i too have a fear of dying.......i hate it........sometimes its so obsessive that is consumes me.....i usually have it right before my period.....i just had my 2nd baby...and was fine...and really have been for 2 plus years...then this month...the anxiety struck again............hate it........:( i hope you find peace...as i hope we all do....talking to people who dont have it...they just dont understand..................
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Avatar_m_tn
I agree that the Wellbuterin may not be working the greatest for me.   I was on it a few years ago ( after my grandpa died) and I found it to be little help as well.   My problem is that wellburterin is the only med that doesn't take away my sex drive.  Seriously Prozac destroyed me.  I felt like a zombie on it.    

I have to laugh a little because I am afraid to take certain medicines because once again, what if I die taking them?   I refused to take birth control because of blood clots, and when I hear that these medicines ( like on TV or something) can even cause death... well it scares the hell out of me.    Medine will help greatly I'm sure,  i'm just terrified to take it.

I have wanted to go to therapy for a few years.  Especially after my mom died so suddenly.  It killed me inside and I wasn't ever the same.  The problem is that our insurance ***** and therapy is like 120 bucks a week.    I would litterally have to go into debt to pay for it.    Even if I just did it 2 times a month, it's almost 300 dollars.

That being said... I need help, and I know I do.     I have been on Anti-depressants since I was like 13, and I fear that I will never be free of them.     ( a lovely inherited trait)  

I am so glad to know I'm not alone.  I honestly think my husband would think I'm crazy if I bothered him with this again.   It's true, people who don't suffer from it, cannot understand it.         I have always had sleeping issues, and my mind tends to race a ton when I lay down.  It doesnt help that my husband is asleep within minutes after hitting the sack.     I have to sit and do timestables ( how lame is that?) in my head to keep my mind occupied, and just repeat the word "sleep"  in my head.  
My neighbor also sells oils, so I am going to try some Lavender oil tonight and hope that helps to calm me down.  

WHY does insurance have to suck so badly?!!!   I desperately need to get some different medicine.
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1272523_tn?1318916952
Try taking some Valerian root, you can find it at almost any drug store. It has been used for a very long time, i believe the Romans used it, to treat insomnia and anxiety. It helps me to just relax and settle my mind down before sleep.
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650416_tn?1274715095
mrs....i hope you can sleep tonight!!!! it has been researched that saying sleep does work....im sorry ur insurance *****....are there any methods that you could by.,.cd's///books...that you could do at home?
himy...you have so much knowledge!!!! thanks for sharing! is valerian root a pill?
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Avatar_m_tn
Last night was ok, I got some pure lavender oil from my neighbor and rubbed it on my feet.    It seemed to help a little.    That, and I was utterly exausted from being up all night the night before and making cookies till 11pm for my sons preschool graduation party.  

I also talked to my husband about therapy and he said we can look into some stuff today.    

GMB08, I get weird right before my period also... almost like a totally bipolar feel, I wonder if the 2 are related for reals..  
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650416_tn?1274715095
i wonder...what also doesnt help me is hearing about people having heart attacks in their 30's!  then i obsess and worry
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Avatar_m_tn
I am sorry that you are going through this right now.  Do you know if there are any free counseling services in your area?  Sometimes, there are mutual support groups that can help for free or at a minimal cost to you.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I have had so many terrible fears throughout my life, fear of sleeping, waking, eating being alone, being with people etc... I'ts taken time to work through issues with a professional, getting on the right meds, telling myself the truth no matter what I feel( I won't die from this fear!) I want to encourage you to get all the help you need and tell your husband. The Lord has been my strength and He will be yours if you call on Him. May the Lord help you and bless you in Jesus name! P.S. You are SANE! with compassion, Studchick
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Avatar_f_tn
ohh...i have the same problem..i cant sleep at night..thinking m gonna die.n thinking somebodys coming to take me..i stare at the door whole night.i go n check my room door several tyms.if its locked well o not.i feel very uncomfortable..but yes i feel very protective when somebody touchs me while i sleep.i need somebody to to keep hand n me while m sleeping.dat feels better.but i cant take any pills for this problem aswel.cox i always had a feeling that medicines is also a cox of death
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Avatar_f_tn
wow...i honestly thought i was alone, it is comforting to know that I am not.  I have the same problem as everyone else here...I can't sleep at night, i am worried that I am going to drop dead for no real reason, i got off the pill and stopped smoking because i am so terrified of blood clots and now that i have changed that life style i am terrified of having a brain aneurysm.  The crazy part is that I am only 22 and the doctors tell me I am fine.  I was going to therapy and they kind of helped they just kind of taught me a few coping methods to deal with my anxiety.  My husband thinks i am totally insane because to him none of this has even crossed his mind. I want to be the person I was before college, fun, loving and carefree.  I enjoyed being that person i always had fun and never worried about death.  I wish everyone the best of luck with over coming this shared fear and that we can all get some well deserved sleep.  May God be with us all
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Avatar_f_tn
I also am afraid to die and by being afraid to die I realize I'm not living right.  I have, since I was young wake up screaming in the middle of the night.  For a while, I was able to reason that when I die I won't know it so what does it matter.  Now I live in a slower town, work from the home and at night I sit and think and try and block it out.  I understand taking drugs, herbs and all that to help sleep but what do you do to help live?  I also goes as far as being scared of something happening to my parents.  I am 47 they are late 60's almost 70.  I sit and I pounder and I think and I wonder and I have a constant pang in me.  It so scary and so terrifying to me..........
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Avatar_f_tn
or when they have stroke's. the other day i read how the guy from Malcom in the middle had a semi stroke and he's only 27.  that night i couldn't sleep at all thinking i was going to catch one. ughhh ={
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1867019_tn?1353471140
I feel the same way. I could be in a deep sleep or so it seems and then I wake up scared a I feel like I'm going to die. I'm so afraid to sleep, it's terrible. I try explaining death to my daughters and how it's "normal" even though I don't understand it myself. I do it because I want them to know that everything will be alright if I don't wake up. I almost lost my husband over two years ago. I think I was traumatized by everything that happened to him. Now I'm dealing with my dad who has been diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer even though he still looks good, I honestly don't know that things for him are going good.
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