I diagnosed best friend with a personality disorder. And now I hate him.

Hi everyone. Ill try to sum this up in one post..Ive been working with my ex-best friend for 8 years now. We did everything together, but as time went on I started to realize things werent right with him..Ive been suffering immensly with stress, anxiety, and completely ignoring him while he sits next to me all day..I started putting all the pieces together and started investigating what could be wrong with him..My conclusion is that he has histrionic personality disorder.When you are in contact with a person like this for so many years you lose reality..He has dumped his negativity and manipulated me all these years..Everything he says and does is a hidden agenda ONLY TO GET ATTENTION.  He is a cold and calculating person who causes all the termoil in our company..He talks serious negative trash about EVERYONE behind thier back, then smiles and laughs and sucks up to that person when he sees them..I believe he has photographic memory and is very smart, so he uses this combine with impressionistic smiles and smirks to persuade ANYONE he is the smartest,fastest,strongest and the king of the world, and he is always right and evryone else is always wrong..I believe his entire personality is nothing but superficial charm and phony, because he is so desperately covering up the way he feels inside..Ive been studying this for months now because Ive felt so much pain and confusion and I think back and realize all the different occasions that I said racist,sexist, negative garbage to people..That is not me, but knowing that I had this (friend that is always right and strong), I didnt actually realize the stuff I was saying..Ive lost alot of relationships speaking through his tongue and regret it..He is an instigator and a sneaky troublemaker..But if you met him you would absolutly LOVE him and admire him and adore him because his fake charm is on this agenda..I see everyone falling for the same I did..I sit back and study and really listen to the things he says now and realize that its all sexual, dirty, childish, negative poison..His hysterical(*histrionic) attitude fills him with anxiety all day and he is a nervous, anxious frieght train sitting next to me all day..Ive use haedphones, Ive been on Ativan for 3 months now..And without saying one word to him for the past three months and I was HIS best friend..He never bothered to ask me ONCE why I wasnt talking to him..Instead, because he is so worried about losing attention from our coworkers, he would just keep going on his merry old ways, laughing and manipulating and trying to prove that I am the one with the problem! Ive been in a mental bloodbath with him competing to prove that I am not the one messed up..The only difference now is that I am healing, coming to my senses, and he will continue in his world of manipulation and hate and fake smiles. He thinks his problem is anxiety and he does have it and is taking Zoloft, but I know this will not treat the actual personality disorder and it hasnt..He sucks the life and energy out of everybody secretly while believing everyone loves him and is his best friend.He exagerates every aspect of every relationship and I see through the lies now..
I still have to work with him everyday and the shock of all this and anxiety has toned down to mere stress..Will I be able to completely recover and work a 100% normal happy day while working next to him, or must I find another job..I think the worst is over...Maybe hell quit..Thanks if anyone happened to read through all this..Haha

[Raine9]

Well, my initial reaction was huh??  

Then I thought, everyone sometime in their lifetime has had a friend like this or  knew or had to work with someone like this.  You shouldn't let him get to you.  Try to distance yourself from him as much as possible if that is even possible.  If it stresses you out that much, look for another job unless he quits first.

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

so your on ativan for 3 months how much do you take a day or do you take when needed, i also take ativan for my really bad days of stress i take .05 when needed and i really need it more latley but so scared to get hooked on it . so did your dr tell you its ok to take everyday and do you . thanks for the in-put right now i could use it . barbara

[scottyk]

yeah I take .05 to put up at work in the morning..Sometimes I take it at night too before bed (.05).
I think Ive become somewhat dependant on it.
My doctor said I shouls be fine and as soon as I find a new job I should be able to stop..
I usually feel anxious and  pretty crappy when I wake up and run to the pill before I hop in the shower, but I dont know if this is anxiety from knowing to go to work or bodily anxious from withdrawl (withdrawal).
I think., .05 is a safe amount, because some people take up to 10 mg a day.
Just dont ever double up on your dose and dont start taking more than you are suppossed to.
I wouldnt take more than 2 pills a day.
The Ativan triggers your reward system in your brain.
You build a tolerance and require more to get the reward so be careful..Hope this helps.
If you dont need it everyday dont take it

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

thanks i take it now and than i fight my anxiety until i cant , yesterday was a really bad day an i didnt take a pill i try so hard not to . yeah it sounds like a new job would help you out, but than again do you want to get another job or do you enjoy the one you have. i quite my job in jan, i loved my job but just could not take the lies of a few workers there . its took a toll on me so before you leave something you enjoy think hard about it , and than again it might be good for your nerves to get away . its a shame your ex friend wont leave but i was in the same thing you are in. i have never taken two pills a day but i think i might start klonopin again and see if i can get passed this stress inmy life i went through 3 months of healt with my mom and its took its toll, its all over now but last seven weeks have not been good for me , now am just sick of anxiety and anxiety over being anxiety . so its not been easy on me. i hope things work out for you at your job and that soon you can get your anxiety under control, God Bless you

[mikej1736]

This is just my take..........

Don't hate your friend.  Instead, pity him.  He sounds like he has so many problems but is scared to admit it.  He deeply cares what everyone thinks of him, and is trying hard to make them like him.  

He probably brags about himself / talks trash about others because he will think that will make him seem better and he thinks that will make others like him more.  It's easy to see how DESPERATE he is.  Don't try to prove to others that you are not the one messed up, all you have to do is act normal and they will see through his ways.  They will realize he is the one who is messed up.  It's only a matter of time.  Pity him that he has to resort to all these tactics,  and he thinks its working.    

or

Tell him off!  Send him an e-mail listing everything wrong and how you feel.  Maybe its not the best solution, but I guarantee its gonna be a wake up call for him.  Someone has to do it sometime.    (Although this might create an uncomfortable work situation!!!)