I feel helpless

[armira]

Hello.I'm 23 yrs old and I've been suffering from anxiety panick attack disorder for years.I've tried a lot of meds but nothing helped me,just "NOTHING".My fear is about "losing my mind".I dont feel quite even for a minute.I'm constant worrying about stupid things like "what if I kill someone or hurt someone,what if I do incest,what if I start halucionating or hearing voices,what if...,what if...".I hate myself for thinking this way and I would never do it.I have agoraphobia too.
Another thing is that I really feel weird.I cant look myself in the mirror because I seem so unknown and that terryfies me.My parents and brothers look so unfamiliar to me.If they want to talk to me or hug me I just avoid them and get angry:'( I feel so guilty.
I just want to die and I know I'm gonna suicide for sure,I feel so hopeless :'( I hate my self,I hate this world.I feel  I don't belong here :'"""""""(

[armira]

Yes I'm taking an antidepresant called Remeron 15mg but its not helping me at all.I've tried so many meds they never helped me just experienced side effects .I'm tired of everything :'(

[cnote]

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. Are you currently taking anything? Have you seen a therapist? Therapy can help SO much.

I saw a psychologist a while back and he helped me get over my anxiety spell in just 2 sessions.

The most valuable thing he said to me was to turn "What if" thinking into "So what" thinking. It helped drastically! :)

Hang in there!