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I feel so helpless
by nervous15, May 08, 2008 12:17AM
I am 59 y.o. woman getting ready for my first "put to sleep" surgery. The surgery is a UPPP, brcause of lack of Oxygen to my brain and heart. I have a highly recommended surgeon who has taken much time to talk with me. He explained everything. I am NOT fearful of his abilities. Secondly I have to be put to sleep. Oh my Begeezes I feel like I am going to die. What does it feel like, OMG the anticipation is killing me. Here's the clincher. I have high blood pressure (also a complication from this obstruction). My blood pressure is controlled by medicine...EXCEPT when my anxiety and fear take hold. I am due to have the surgery on May 21st and my pressure has been up and down. I am so scared that I will stroke out! I cant imagine NOT going through with this as I definately need the surgery. How do I come to terms with the waiting and the waiting at the hospital, stuck in a bed, with IVS, no where to go!!! Run!!!! I am afraid my pressure will be extremely high...OMG what do I do Please someone help.
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take care
janis from the u.k
First, it sounds like you have an excellent and compassionate surgeon. Did you tell him/her about your fears?
When you said "put to sleep" did you mean being anesthetized? I hate that too. When I've had dental work done, no matter what it involves, I only want to be frozen, not knocked out. It's partly fear of having no control, part of it is fear of not waking up again. Is this how you feel?
Your surgeon is aware of all your health problems and concerned. When you are anesthetized, there will be an anesthesiologist in the OR to monitor all your vital signs. He/she will do that constantly. If there are any complications, the anesthesiologist, along with your surgeon will deal with them. There will be a whole team of people there to make sure everything goes well. More than likely, you'll be given a pre-op sedative which will help calm your nerves and probably lower your BP. Your BP will also be monitored before you even go into the OR.
I don't know what your BP is but you said it goes up when you are anxious. This happens to a lot of people. It happens to me - I am on BP meds. My BP increases just at the thought of going to the dr.
What you are facing is scary because you have no control over it. However, since you have an understanding surgeon and will have a team of competent, experienced drs and nurses you'll be in good hands. I confess that I would be extremely anxious too. Anybody would be.
Considering all this, I think you'll be fine and when it's over, you'll be even "finer".
Hugs to you ....
lonewolf
Please stay in contact with me and keep re assuring me...people like me really appreciate and count on folks like you all.
So being "knocked out" isint that scary huh?
I need to have surgery but have been afraid so I am preaching to the choir when I tell you "don't worry." I really need to take my own advice. I don't know if you believe, but put your faith and trust in God and he will take that fear away. Just pray about it, it honestly does help.
Be blessed
Nervous15
My suggestion to you, is, since the surgeon is well aware of the fact that you have a high level of anxiety about the whole process....ask if he would prescribe you a dose of a sedative to take the morning of the operation. Of course, once you get into the hospital, they will likely give you something as well (intravenously), but an oral dose before going to the hospital may just take the edge off enough to make you not quite as scared. Also, you said you take BP meds? They will almost always instruct you to take those in the am as well, so your BP shouldn't be too bad.
I promise you...once you are in there, and they've given you something to relax, you won't have a care in the world. LOL. Also, when they start "putting you under"....it goes VERY fast. They'll ask you to count down from 100, most people never make it to 99. :0)
You'll wake up in the recovery room, and while you'll surely have some pain...you will be super relieved, b/c it will be over.
Lastly....PLEASE do not focus on the wording of the consent form too too much...they HAVE to conver their bases and lay out the risks. Surgery related complications (ie...dying on the table, etc) are VERY rare...and a surgeon would never operate on you if you weren't a good candidate, like he already told you. Also, they could do these surgeries in their sleep....they do the same thing day in, day out...with usually the same surgical team. You'll NEVER again have so many people tending to your every breath, blink, burp, gas....etc. ;0) They don't miss a beat.
I hope that reassures you some. Just don't be too hard on yourself. Going "under" isn't a natural state for us (obviously)...and I haven't met many people who do NOT get some level of anxiety before.
Keep posting too...it always helps to discuss how you are feeling...and knowing what exactly to expect on that day will ease some of your tension as well. I have worked pre and post op, and would be glad to answer any questions you may have about the process. Ask your doc (surgeon) if it is possible for him to prescribe a one time dose for the am of the operation. I bet he will.
That in itself is terrific!!!
Nervous15
Your BP doesn't sound that high to me but I'm not in the medical field. Nursegirl could probably give you more accurate information.
I don't think you are bothering anybody. That's what this forum is for.
Hugs ....
wolf
Hello? Are you there?
Lady, have I got GOOD news for you. Surgery, schmurgery, I say. When I was, say 52 or so, I had appendicitis which as you may know is normally something you get in younger years -or not at all. So, into the hospital I went and they immediately THREW me in to a single unit room - in PEDIATRICS, if you can believe that. So naturally, all the nurses had this kind of maternal instinct thing going on, and I was well attended. The ER doc who did my intake was my next door neighbor, and he owed me $5 because doctors, we you know, never have ready cash so anyways I figured he was trying to get out of paying me back by putting me in the fancy room. Turns out, I was the ONLY patient in pediatrics because Memorial, where I was, had merged with Sacred Heart across town, and which, as a venerable Catholic institution, naturally wanted all the birthing stuff. So the ER Doc, whose name shall remain unmentiond * says to me, he says, ""Who do want to do your operation?" And I sez, "Wiley Faw," who when I was a kid was a local surgeon of great fame and renown, because he was the one guy who introduced hand washing locally, which he always did after taking care of veterenarian tasks for farmers whose cows had calves who were stuck. At least twice a week, we're talking here.
So anyways, he (the ER guy who owed me $5) said "Wiley's not available, he died 20 years ago in some kind of accident in a dairy barn." And I sez, "Well, I never liked milk anyway, so YOU pick someone." And he sez, "Turns out there's a surgeon who owes me $10, so let me call Rocco** and tell him I'll forgive half his debt if he does this job for me and brings me $5, which I will give to you." So he calls Rocco who was at a local volunteer fire department spaghetti and garlic dinner at the time and convinces him to come in. But by this time, the pain meds are starting to kick in so I goes to sleep. Well, about 5 AM I am awakened by a strange smell and when I look up, its Rocco, who I always thought ran the deli next to the liquor store down from my house, which is where the ER guy borrowed the $5 for a half gallon of fine wine. "Sorry about the fragrance," he sez, "I'm on vampire patrol and needed protection." Beads of sweat are rolling down his forehead and there's a piece of spagetti on his string tie.
"So, what's up doc?" I sez, making a joke and he sez, "I read up on the operation and I think I know what to do." So I asks, "When's this going to happen?" And he sez, "As soon as the janitor unlocks the operating room." About this time, one of the maternal instinct nurses comes in and hooks me up to a bag of stuff and gives me a shot and I start feeling really SWEET. "They found the OR," she says to Rocco, and just then these two guys with long hair and pierced ears come in and the one of them, the leader type, sez to me, he sez: "Are you ready to go Mr. Geare?" And I sez, "Yeah, but first I gotta have my appetite removed." They kind of chuckle and begin to assist me onto a gurney -the kind with a wobbly wheel that squeaks, if you know what I'm sayin'. "Hey!" I sez, "I can do this myself!" and I rolled out of bed and fell through the crack between my bed and the gurney, right on the floor, pulling that floor lamp thing with the bag of joy juice over top of me and creating quite a commotion as I'm sure you can imagine. Well, anyways, they get me up and onto the gurney, and away I go. The joy juice is really kicking in about now, and in a few moments I'm in this long hallway with all these other people laid out like greased mackerals on their own gurneys. Turns out, the doctors knew where the OR was the whole time! And you know what else? There must have been a DOZEN of 'em! So anyway, I get parked to some guy who sez he's there for a brain transplant, and that he gets to take his old brain home with him, so I'm thinkin', "why can't I take my appendix back home, too?" And about that time, a nurse with her hair pulled back in a bun sez there's been some kinda delay, so the hospital staff is sponsoring a tournament bridge match for all us guys until the runway is cleared for more arrivals. Me? I LOVE bridge, so I sez, "I'm in!"
The next thing I know I'm listening to someone say, "Mr. Geare? Mr. Geare? Wake up Mr. Geare," and I IMMEDIATELY respond, "I don't think so, I'm holding 4 no trump with 2 suckers bidding high clubs here so go refill the snack bowls while I play this out."
Long story short, Nervous, I'm hoping -begging, even- for something else that requires an operation.
And I never DID get the $5 bucks.
You will be fine.
I promise.
*Greg
**his actual street name
ROFLMAO!!!!!!
I'll be back shortly with a few doozies of my own....oh, nervous...we'll have ya laughing all the way into the OR!
:0)
I was d/ced after a few procedures and my pancreatitis finally resolving..but I was scheduled to have my gallbladder out the next week. Outpatient...no biggie. I made SURE that everyone knew of my history of anxiety, and explained to them (over and over, ad nauseum) that the worst for me was the "down" time....the "waiting"....so as I lie in the OR holding room, glasses off, blind as a bat, my little surgical cap on my head....I was getting a bit antsy...just then my surgeon came in to see me before the operation. It didn't hurt that my surgeon could EASILY be on the cover of GQ (oooooh baby). ANYWAY...he has a great sense of humor...and joked around with me a lot like JS explained that his surgeon did.....I told him to give me something to knock my a$$ out NOW. He said.."Well, I can't knock you out completely just yet....then you won't get to enjoy the experience of being wheeled into the cold operating room, where you see the table that is half the width of your body, and all the sharp instruments I have reserved just for you. Sooooo, you ready now?" GRRRRR!!!!!!
I laughed my butt off, and shortly after he disappeared behind the curtain, the lovely anesthetist came with some "Vitamin A" (Ativan)....teee heee...or whatever he put in my IV that made me not only relaxed, but the most talkative person on the face of the earth. I swear they give you truth serum....cuz you lose your ability to self-censor for appropriateness. LOL
This is the best part. I have always been....*koff koff*...."well endowed" to say the least..and hubby and I had made sort of an inside joke about the OR table not being sufficient for them....so as we're wheeling into the OR...the whole team there and suited up.....my inhibitions disappearing as quickly as the faces of the surgical team as they applied their masks......I said the following...
(Keep in mind that there are arm extension supports on the OR table that they put your arms on, for IV's and for body positioning)....."Gee, I see you have the arm extensions out....do you happen to have boobie ones too?, cuz surely if not, the twins will be hanging to the floor, and it is cold in here!!!!" The one nurse was doubled over cracking up hysterically. The recovery room nurses were STILL talking about it afterwards. :0) Right after I said that...I yelled to my surgeon, who was accross the room..."HEY! Don't forget to wash your hands!!!!". I was basically like one of those drunk face-painted, half-naked football fans at a play-off game.
See? So, you have nothing at all to worry about...except perhaps making a big old arse out of yourself when you are all loosey-goosey!
Now that I've thoroughly embarrassed myself telling that story and losing any respect I've gained....I'm heading out for a bit. ;0) (Naw, just kidding....I am brutally honest, and it takes a LOT to embarrass me!)
Laughter, by the way, is AWESOME medicine.
Lonewolf, you said something about prayer. I accept ALL prayers and would gladly accept and be honored with yours. I too pray for GOD to take away the extreme anxiety and let me be "normal" like others. I also am concerned now with possibly getting a cold. EVERYONE at work is sick..this concerns me a little. I will pray for health leading up to this surgery also. Thank you Lonewolf you are truly a little angel.
JS I gotta tell you , I havent laughed like I did when I read your story in a long time. You are truly a delight and a sweetheart. Thanks again for sharing your experience.
Heartflutters...I, too, have had some experience with premature ectopic beats...especially when I get anxious..Thanks hun, for sharing your surgery story with me.
Nursegirl....OMG what a great story. You made me laugh so hard expecially when talking about the cold floors and the girls....OMG I wish you could be my nurse during my surgery and my overnight stay...
I want to let eveybody know that although the stories were hilarious, I embraced the message in them. I cant say enough about how you all are helping me...GOD Bless everyone.
Nervous
aka Carole
Nice work, folks.
And by the way: When I went to see Rocco for my first post-op evaluation, I had already been told to expect 3 such visits over increasing lengthy intervals, to make sure I was healing well. Here's what happened on the first one. Rocco looked at my scar and asked me what activities I had in mind over the next few weeks. I told him I looked forward to playing golf. He cupped his chin in his hand, looked at the scar, looked in my eyes, the scar, the eyes. The he stepped back and said. "You know, you're a tough old f*rt. Put your pants on and get out of my office. I don't want to see you again." He was smiling. So I pulled up my trousers, smiling, and made my way through the waiting area to the exit. As I reached for the door, I heard him shout from somewhere in the depths of his office, "And another thing! I'm keeping the $5!).
He was certainly welcome to it.
One thing that I remember is the birth of my fourth child. I went into labor in the middle of the night (what a surprise) and was alone with my other kids. Had to get a sitter and take a taxi to the hospital. It was freezing rain. When the taxi driver saw me he nearly freaked out - he was SO young and nervous. When we got to the hospital, he ran inside and left me and my bag of stuff in the car. Finally, someone came out and got me. It seems they thought the young taxi driver was the one who needed medical attention. The rules in this hospital were that you had to sit in a wheelchair to get to your room. The nurse said, "Sit down (in the chair) and we'll take care of you." Who do you think sat in the wheelchair - the young taxi driver. He was so distraught LOL I ended up carrying my bag myself and walking to my room as well. The taxi driver sat in the chair and went up with me and when we got to my room, he got up and was walking towards the bed they assigned me. Finally a nurse came over and said - I'll never forget this - "Sir, are YOU going to be giving birth? If you are, we have some forms you have to fill out." I think that got him out of the shock he was in. It seemed like an episode of "I Love Lucy". And this was somebody I had never met before.
Not as funny as JSG's experience but I guess you had to be there.
wolf
If it wasnt for this forum, and I know this will sound so dramatic, but, I really dont know where I would have turned. I would probably be pacing back and forth blood pressure throught the roof, fighting whether or not I should take my xanax (.025mg.), yata, yata, yata. As of today I havent taken any xanax in about 5 days so that's pretty good given the level of my anxiety. The true test will be as the days get a little closer...then we will truly see. Did I mention that I was due to have this surgery LAST YEAR!!! I chickened out! REASSURANCE, REASSURANCE, REASSURANCE...I cant stress that enough. My life is going in such a positive way now, all the little duckies in a row, the LAST thing I want is to be debilitated due to a stroke or heart attack either throught surgery, or self inflicted..........or dead! My anxiety is so that I think of this stuff....I just wish I could let ALL of the bad thoughts go! I am a fighter and I truly am not afraid to fight this battle of anxiety with MEDS however, not being the long term answer. Its a behavior modification thing in my case.
I will check back in later...I hope all the gang has a great day, and as always, I cherrish your friendship
I hope you have a great day and I will check back in later....thank you for everything
And the really strange part is that the denizens of this little community -who already think they know each other- respond to you as though we actually care. What the dickens is THAT all about?! Why should WE care?
Why, indeed.
Well, I would not ask this question unless I had an answer, of course, so here it is. Now pay attention everyone, because this is important, this is key, this is a big deal. Stub out your cigarettes, put down your coffee, and save that martini until later. OK, well, you can pour the martini. In fact, I think I'll pour mine. There!
Here's the deal: Now then, we are heavily involved in you because YOU are emblematic of US. It is not just you now, Carole, who are going to float into the OR trailing your little bag of joy juice behind you. It is ALL of us. We want to be like YOU! You have presented yourself with honesty, integrity, courage and dignity. And so, Carole, we are heavily invested in you because you are actually doing what all of us so much want to do for ourselves; mustering the courage and strength to take a big step. To the extent that you are successful (an outcome not in any doubt) then WE are successful. And in fact, our individual, private and personal recoveries from the challenges we face are being advanced and secured BY YOU.
It may never have occurred to you Carole, that YOU are the one doing the giving here, in a wonderfully sacramental way. You may imagine, rather, that the giving is all on our part. And your thinking in that way I would offer as the convincing evidence that it is WE who have been uplifted and reassured.
There have been references to prayer and to the Almighty in this very profound thread of questions and answers. While I am generally scrupulous in my avoidance of such references -not wanting to contaminate the religious and spiritual sensitivities of others- I will depart from this seeming indifference for the moment to happily make a declaration that what has happened here is EXACTLY what God had in mind for us; to make His work, our own.
Take a poll of all who have responded to you here -and not one will express disagreement. You have so marvelously brought us together, and for that, we are all forever grateful.
You already know -you'll be fine.
Thanks so much. Today has been a very emotional day. I kind of feel doomed by this anxiety. I have been crying most of the day as I cant seem to control this anxiety. I feel as though I am going to burst. Then I get so mad at myself for letting the anxiety take over me like this..it is so scary. I feel as though I am not in control of my own destiny. Blood pressure Up and Down, heart pounding, what the heck is this thing!!! Sometimes I feel like I am the ONLY person with this level of anxiety. The funny thing here is this. I dont ALWAYS have this kind of anxiety...just regarding medical stuff, eg: doctor visits, proceedures, surgery, waiting for medical test results, dental visits, etc. Recently I have been really good with the dental visit thing. Even during root canals, I dont need to take a piece of xanax or anything. Tell me do you think I am going coo-coo? Barb do you think it makes sense for me to be SO extreme with this medical stuff? Oh by the way I signed some papers today at the dr.'s office for the surgery as well as recived a requisition for pre-op testing. I am so afraid I am going to give myself a stroke or a heart attack. When I asked the surgeon about a sedative before surgery he said that my primary Dr. handles all of that, as well as blood pressure control. I am so upset, I thought the surgeon would prescribe something for me, now I am shuffled off to this guy. All these primary dr.s want to do is increase your blood pressure meds. When I am relaxed my pressure is usually below 120 systolically, and 80 dyastiolically. This would tell me that if he increases the B/P meds, when I go under my pressure will plumedge into the toilet. I also have bradycardia ( low heart rate) sometimes. Normal is between 60-100 beats per minute, mine are sometimes down to 50 bpm. What happeneds when I go under are they going to be 20BPM OMG HELP!!!!!!!!!( i am trying to calm down, I'm getting goofy just thinking about it). WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO
I would love to see the posts of any and all of my friends here.
Luv you guys,
Carole
You've really gotten a lot of caring, humorous and supportive messages. You seem to bring out the best in people. We will all be in the OR with you in spirit. Despite the meds you might even sense us there watching (and maybe looking to see if there are any hot young drs around LOL). The Great Mystery and the spirits of your ancestors will be there too, watching over you. It's going to get pretty crowded in that room = )
That's part of our - Native - belief system but it applies to everyone, if they want it.
Your anxiety is understandable and please don't waste energy on being mad at yourself. In many ways you are not in control of your fate and that kind of lack of control can be scary. You are NOT the only one who feels this way but you do have the gift of attracting real and caring people who want to be with you during your difficult time.
You didn't ask me if it makes sense to be so extreme with your emotions regarding medical issues. Yes, it does. They are your feelings and feelings are neither right nor wrong. It doesn't matter who arranges your sedation before your surgery as long as you get it. You'll be closely monitored by the anesthesiologist and he/she will be watching your BP, breathing, etc. Maybe you could ask to speak to the anesthesiologist before your surgery.
This surgery you are facing is scary and it will effect your body in different ways; like your BP changing all the time. Soon the surgery will be done and you'll be your old self again - better than your old self.
I worry about things like this too. However, I'm not a particularly "good" or well-liked person and would be reluctant to post what you did. Your honesty, pain and humor just jump off the page. You have my prayers and the prayers of other Native people here in Ontario - you were included in a rather lengthy prayer ceremony (not by name) so you have people you've never even heard of praying and hoping you'll be alright.
I feel so inadequate; that what I want to say isn't coming across.
Hugs ....
wolf
Are you familiar with the surgery I am having? If i were 5 years old this might be ok...but at my ripe old age its only anyones guess.. There will be alot of intense pain for at least 8 days so in that respect I am NOT at all looking forward to it. I guess it starts tapering off a little around the 9th or 10th day post surgical and yes I do worry about the pain and my blood pressure....just so darn much to think about. In the hospital they will control everything but at home thats my real concern. I have to meet with my primary care Dr. Monday or Tuesday for pre op testing referrals so I will ask him then what the plan is. However unfortunately the Drs. today have NO plan it is really scary. It is frightening to have to trust them, in my opinion the trust you have in GOD is what carries a person through. My solis is that I have great neighbors that will look in on me to make sure I am ok.......but its not the same as when you have someone actually living in your home...very scary stuff.
I understand your message, even if you think you are not coming across really well. Let me say this..In my heart I feel your warmth, you are very supportive and giving. To think that a person I dont even know would think of ME enough to bring my spirit into your ceremony and pray for my surgical/recovery success just blows me away...Thank you so much, really you have touched my heart.
Carole
So having been honest with you that I don't want your fear to escalate I want to point out to you that YOU HAVE AN EDGE THAT I did not have. YOU KNOW and have acknowledged to yourself already by taking that first step and posting to us, it affirms you want to make this work. So I would take this time that you have now before the surgery and put all your skills to work to try and relax the best you can.
Make sure your Dr AND your anesthesiologist know that this is a very real fear you have and, perhaps, more than most that pass thru their offices .... this way they will pre-med you with ample meds while you are in the "holding area" as well as when you get to the OR .... I understand you said your BP still reacts even with meds but I bet if they give you hefty am'ts it will stay in normal limits as you will be so out of it it won't react negatively.
As I talk along here I am saying take the Knowledge that you have now that you are fearful and put it to work before the surgery to rest assured you will be ok .. it is easier to channel these negative thoughts into positive ones days before your surgery than the moment you are wheeled into the OR and have high BP, etc. and they say, "hey no surgery today .. what is going on" ...
Speak up .. Tell them your legitimate fear .. it is yours .. don't let anybody downplay it .. because to you it needs to be addressed and then lessened with knowledge and belief YOU WILL BE OKAY!!!!!
It is normal .. very normal for everybody to have fear of being put out .. I have had numerous surgeries and the older one gets the scarier it is .. the thoughts we all have ... so hang in there ... it'll be ok.
Cheryl (partial thyroidectomy 1/07 with 2 small papillary microcarinomas found and fully healed now)
That was good advice you got from ChitChatNine. Now you can "talk" to somebody who has been through it. Sometimes you have to grab the drs by the hair and make them talk - it's your body they are dealing with and you have every right to know what is going on. If they try to make it seem like you wouldn't understand or that knowing would make you nervous, you could point out that you are already nervous and it is effecting your BP. YOU are paying them. YOU are the consumer - you are entitled to information.
A slight digression - when I had my fourth child my dr had to leave the room for a minute. Another dr came in to "examine" me (the baby was coming really fast). I had given birth three times before and had an idea what it was like but this idiot dr "examined" me in the middle of a contraction and - how to say this politely - he inserted his fingers to stretch the cervix which was already open. It HURT!!!! I didn't just sit there and say "ouch", I swore at him and kicked him in the youknowwhere. He was a sadistic a**hole. He was angry because I didn't want him to deliver the baby - he only did Cesarians because then he could control his schedule. So the family dr delivered it. What I'm saying in a rather twisted way is not that you should kick your dr but let him/her know that as a patient or client, you have rights. I know it's easier to say than to do because some drs think they know everything.
No, I'm not familiar with the surgery you are having and didn't know about being in such pain after it was over. Pain is different for everybody. Some people feel it more than others. It could be that they are emphasizing the pain and how long it will last so you will not be anxious.
When is your the surgery? Maybe there might be a ceremony on that day and if not, I'll still pray and do a smudge ritual for you.
More hugs ....
wolf
Look at it THIS way....MANY of us have totally inapproriate fears...and are scared of things like the stinkin' grocery store...and the evil people that reside there. ;0) Talk about frustrating! When you fear something that isn't as a rule..."fearful"...you do a lot of self-torture and kicking yourself...a lot of "WHY in the heck do I feel this way when there is nothing to fear?"
YOUR fear has a completely appropriate origin. Anyone who DIDN'T have at least SOME level of nervousness prior to a medical procedure, or surgery...I WOULD worry about. I know you are worried about the surgery itself, and of course...the recovery period. If you CAN...take it one step at a time....get yourself through the operation first...and you will be able to breathe a HUGE sigh of relief. Yes, you will have pain, but your docs will make sure it is manageable. Once you are home, in your own environment, where you can be comfy...each day will show more and more improvement.
I also understand that due to your BP and bradycardia tendencies, you are extra worried. Like I said before....you will NEVER again have more people watching you like a hawk. They anticipate everything and are prepared for any change in your condition. Literally the smallest change in the increment of the anesthesia will "fix" any abnormality that happens while you are in the OR. They have all kinds of meds inches away that they can administer in milliseconds to control high/low BP or high/low pulse, along with any other imaginable issue. Usually...it never gets to that point because you are so closely monitored, that most "problems" are completely avoided before they even have a chance to occur.
INSIST on a sedative for the morning of surgery, from whichever doctor has to prescribe it. Lay out your fears as you have laid them out for us....how real they are...and that this isn't simply a case of pre-op "jitters"....and that you are concerned about your BR going up and interfering with the operation. Once you get IN to the hospital...hopefully if you've taken something that morning, you will be a little less nervous. If your anxiety level gets super high while you are waiting....tell the nurse...they will be able to give you something.
The surgical team will keep you informed thru the entire process. The anesthesiologist will come in and speak to you, and have you sign a seperate consent for the anesthesia (if you haven't already)..and will explain the process to you. if you have questions? Ask them. There are no dumb or "silly" questions. Your surgeon will also come into the holding area and speak to you before you actually go INTO the OR. Just be honest...and don't be afraid to express your concerns.
As for the afterwards? They will discharge you with very explicit instructions, pain meds, and what to expect..along with a timeline of when you need to come back to see the surgeon for your follow up. After you have started to heal...you will be simply AMAZED at how much better you will feel getting this surgery done. You will honestly feel like you have a new lease on life.
One step at a time...one minute at a time if you have to...and keep posting...share your fears and concerns with us....and above all, remember...like so many others have said...it is PERFECTLY okay and "normal" for you to feel the way you feel. There is nothing wrong with that. And, while WE may make you feel a little better overall about the whole thing...you will not be completely reassured until you are in the hospital with the "joy juice" running (as JS so appropriately calls it, lol)...and you are blurting out inappropriate comments...making the nurses and docs laugh their butt off. At that point...I guaruntee...you'd be willing to let them take any and all organs out that they wanted to. You won't have a care in the world.
You'll get through this...and always keep in your mind, that while it is certainly scary...the benefits outweigh any small risks there may be. It is important for your health for you to go through with the surgery.
I hope that hekps to reassure you a bit...be kind to yourself, ok? Hang in there...and be sure to get on your PCP about the pre-med for the morning of the surgery.
I just have to bite the darn bullet and get this thing over with....I cant wait to breathe a sigh of relief.
You know I do have something else that bothers me if I can ask. Through a pychiatrist (because of the anxiety) he tried several drugs to put me on. One was Prozac, then Paxil, then I think it was Zoloft. After 3 days of taking each of those meds, I got exceptionally sick. Each Time I felt like an elevator of heat was in my feet then journied up through the top of my skull. My B/P soared to 240/130 Of course I never took any of them again, all of them interferes with the seritonin in the brain. Now here is my delimma. In the OR through anesthesia, the serotonin in the brain is effected to allow the tryptipan to allow the sleep effect. I am frightened that the compromise of the serotonin in the brain will make this B/P thing happen and I will stroke out or have a heart attack on the table. Can you offer any emotional hugging for me regarding this.
Again although you all state I am not bothering you or anything I feel like such a spaz about ALL of these questions and FEARS.
Yes I will get something for the day of the surgery, no doubt.
I just want this whole thing behind me....GOD PLEASE
Carole
I am trying to think positive things about the surgery prior to going to bed so that my mind could absorb good thought of it instead of the total fear feelings. I am SO trying to do this.
I gotta go cut the grass it looks like little "Siagon" in my yard. I need to get off my duff and start channeling this anxiety.
Luv you all much,
Carole
About the anesthesia...general anesthesia does not work like an SSRI does (like Paxil, Zoloft, etc)...and also, there are many different types of gen anesthesia out there, usually a combination of medications are used, depending on how long the person needs to be "out". Actually....MOST people experience a DECREASE in BP after going under...I can honestly say I have never witnessed anyone "reacting" to a general with severe hypertension. Also, your docs are aware of your issues with SSRI's..and if it will ease your mind a bit...simply remind them of your reaction to them...and they will keep that in mind when choosing your medication.
Keep in mind too....that complications RARELY happen in an instant....I'm not saying it doesn't....but if something goes awry..it is usually much more gradual and very manageable. The most common "reactions" to anesthesia is post op nausea, and of course, dorwsiness (which is a good thing). Even now, nausea is rarely an issue for anyone, because an antiemtic med (anti-nausea/vomiting) is administered right along with the anesthesia. Going "under" is nothing like is used to be.
Also, as soon as the anesthesia ceases to be administered, it is amazing how quickly the person comes around...it isn't a super long lasting med. Sure, you remain drowsy for the rest of the day...but in order to keep you in the sleep state...it has to be continously administered.
Also..if you do not want any students performing any procedures on you (which, at a teaching hospital, they get consent from you ahead of time)....just verbalize that to your surgeon. That is completely your right. I was never offended when pt's refused to have me do anything to them while in nursing school.
I hope you haven't been attacked by out of control weeds in your Amazon jungle of a yard! LOL! :0) Channeling the anxiety is a great idea! I honestly just wish the surgery was like Monday...so you could get it over with and didn't have to agonize over anymore...the anticipatory anxiety is the WORST! The actual event is never ever as bad as we anticipate!
After doing all the yardwork, and YES I do have a back and front yard....WOW I have just taken my Blood Pressure and you will never guess what it is...101/76 with a pulse of 72....If it could just stay decent (and of course I took it when I was resting, but still thats perty dern good).
Well again sweetie thank you for clearing up alot of my additional fears. My surgeon stated that I will see him as well as the anesthesiologist the day of the surgery.
Back to more housework, I will check in later..
I think after all this is done I should invite all of you over for a bar-b- que
MUAHHHHH
Carole
Nursegirl has been an enormous help in this forum. When you are healed from your surgery we should "do" lunch " LOL I'll just get in my private jet, pick up Nursegirl and we'll land on your front lawn and head off for a feast at McDonalds = ) Just saw your last post - a barbeque sounds good. If I'm not invited I'll crash the party.
lonewolf
A BBQ sounds good....I'd say that would take your mind off things eh Carole? ;0) We could do it the night before your surgery....make baked beans and cabbage and noodles, and then a slew of people with anxiety disorders could all accompany you into the hospital!
Could you just see it now? 50 or so of us...all shaking, sweating, near faint, and of course...tootin' like mad from our pre-op feast....CONVINCED we are all having a massive heart attack at the same time? Oh yes...they would just LOVE that!
11 days...woo-hoo! Lone, fire up the jet...I know I don't have anything sceheduled that day....oooh wait, let me look at my date book....nope...just a little morning anxiety, followed by the scooters, and an afternoon nap.
Pencil me in!
;0)
Hugs to you all!
The jet is ready - all the anxious people on a jet. Better have lots of barf bags.
wolf
And LMAO...somehow the mental image of a surgical waiting room full of highly anxious people is just humurous to me. I'm thinking Carole would be getting a hefty bill from the hospital.
:0)
You guys are so Awesome. About that barb-b-que, I mean that. I wish we could all get together for a weekend...how great would that be. We would laugh until we cried.
Luv,
Carole
I hope I go through with this!!!!!!!
I'm not an expert but based on my own experience your BP is fine.
Sorry you are having a difficult night. Can you picture the BBQ after all this is over? Or mentally picture a room full of anxious, nervous folks - like in the above posts?
When my brother was in Texas at a conference, he saw a large number of people talking to themselves. He thought he was in the wrong place - a room full of anxious people maybe. It turned out they were using these small speakers attached to their cell phones. It isn't really funny but sometimes when I think about it I have to hold back from laughing. Have you ever had that happen? Something not that funny but YOU think it's funny and have to control laughing when you're in a public place? LOL Why does that always happen in public.
You'll go through with it and we'll all be with you in spirit.
(((((HUGS))))) and a "woof" from my Akita.
wolf
It is 3 am here and I havent slept yet, I feel like my throat is closing terrible just terrible... What if they cant intubate me for whatever reason....omg this so sucks.
I have to try and get some sleep I gotta be up in 5 hours.
Thanks to your Akita for the ((((woof)))). They are sooooooooo beautiful
Carole
I know this is a hard time for you, and I'm sorry you had such a bad night. Hopefully you ended up getting at least SOME sleep. Remember, it is NORMAL to be nervous and anxious about this...especially because it IS the first time you've ever been "put under"...you don't know what to expect, and the "unknown" is scary.
Try not to think about each aspect of the surgery (like intubation, etc)....and rather try to just visualize it as a whole, most importantly...visualize yourself waking up in the recovery room, and feel SO relieved that it is over.
Also, keep in mind that if the surgical team DOES run into a problem, like with intubation...they have ways around it...they simply use different equipment. Plus, intubation difficulties are not that common. Remember these people do this every day, all day....they are prepared for everything.
I hope you were able to get some sleep....and just be kind to yourself, you WILL have bad days as this approaches. Just remember that you will also have your good days as well.
I honestly wish I COULD be there with you...but the hospital staff will "wow" you...they are very used to surgical anxiety...yours is a just a bit more severe than some. If you WEREN'T anxious to some point, that WOULDN'T be normal.
Hang in there, carole....hugs to you!
Hugs to you
Carole
After work, if you are still feeling quite anxious, take the xanax, that is what it is there for. No sense in suffering unnecessarily, right?
I look forward to reading how the rest of your day goes. I wish there was more I could say to make you feel better. Every day won't be like this, I promise.
Hugs.
Nursegirl, I am a Lieutenant in a Law Enforcement Department here in Illinois...I am embarrassed to say that, seeing as I hasve been just a baby on here. I work 3-11 shift. You are really gonna love this next admission. I was a certified paramedic for 10 years!!!!! I went inactive in 1995, as a conflict of intrest arose regarding my primary occupation at that time was in Law Enforcement (since 1989). I did them both for about 6 years. I used to tell my prisoners that I will shoot 'em up then fix 'em up....however, they didnt seem to amuzed, I wonder why... ;)
Well there ya have it the Lt. comes clean
Carole
You are in law enforcement? GAK!!!! I live in the ghetto where there are gang wars and lots of drug dealing. Now I'M nervous LOL
You are getting a lot of useful information and support from Nursegirl. When you wrote that you were afraid they couldn't intubate you, the first thing that popped into my head was that if they can intubate a four week old parvo puppy, they can intubate a person. Then I realized that you aren't a puppy.
I have a text about surgeries on cats/dogs and again I think that if our pets can be treated so well, so can people - meaning so can you. Having said that, I know that in your position I would be terrified. But some of us are going to be right there in the OR - in spirit at least so you aren't alone.
Got to get going. The Cryps are having a big meeting LOL Watch me get kicked off the Forum for saying that.
((((((((((MEGA HUGS))))))))))
wolfie
I hope you are doing well, and BIG ((((HUGZ)))) to you also.
I think I am going totry and get some sleep tonite, after all i didnt get to sleep until 7 this morning. I slept for 5 hours then got up and went to work.
I will check in tomorrow...
Carole
9 days and counting.
Well, just look at the 21st as the day of your greatest challeneg in the mission to "protect and serve" and THIS time it is all about YOU. Actually, the irony of your nervousness is not ALL that great, for people often end up in vocations or avocations that involve material which would greatly challenge them if on the receiving -as apposed to the dispensing- side of the equation.
So, how about those Cubbies this year?
Sounds to me like you have some allergy symptoms. I wouldn't worry too too much about it...unless you end up with a high fever or chest congestion...chances are,,,everything will be a go. Even so, you can discuss it with your doc, sometimes they will prescribe you like Nasonex to nip it in the bud...the same thing happened to me last year a week before my gallbladder surgery...doc gave me Nasonex....it helped a wee bit...I still had some residual cold-like symptoms, but it didn't interfere with the OR.
Your pre-op testing is standard...the CBC tests your white count (making sure it isn't elevated indicating a significant infection), and also to be sure you are not anemic,etc...Lytes are your electrolytes (calcium, potassium, etc), PT and PTT are to check your blood clotting ability, and BUN and Creat are to test your renal (kidney) function. EKG's and chest XRays are also typically done for pt's over a certain age. ALL very standard pre-op tests. They will be fine.
I'm glad you got some sleep....that's great. Keep posting...we'll be here for the final countdown...and like sweet wolf said...we'll all be with you in spirit! If she isn't at one of her gang meetings, of course. ;0)
Hang in there, carole...you're doing great!
HUGS!
Your BP and pulse sound just fine to me. Do you take meds for the BP? I've been taking them and they seemed to be working then because they were working my dr cut the dose in half. My BP before she arbitrarily reduced my meds was 120/70 and that was on a stressful day. Now it is beginning to rise again and I don't like it. I worry about it and the worrying makes it higher. Strange how our emotions can effect our BP. I've been looking for another dr but in the meantime, I'll have to force myself to go to her = (
Nursegirl has been a real support, hasn't she? Too bad she won't come to Canada - we could use more nurses like her.
Re-read my last message LOL There I was comparing you to a cat or a dog because I am more familiar with surgeries done on animals. I hope it didn't offend you - I really love my cats and dogs. We have a 23 yr old cat named Pond Scum. The only time he's gone to the vet was when he was neutered but he managed to become an old man of 23. I say this only because Pond Scum really enjoys his life (even in the ghetto) and IMHO you want to enjoy your life. Pond Scum knows he is loved and I think that is a big part of the reason he is an old man. You are virtually loved by the folks on this forum and I hope that gives you strength.
Tomorrow I see the medicine woman again and will ask her to pray for you. This weekend there is a doctoring ceremony and all the Native (and non-Native) men and women will do a group prayer and a little ceremony for you if you don't mind. This medicine woman has helped people with MS, ALS and other things and I know she has powerful medicine .... now I'm talking like a stereotype of a Native person - "ugh, she do -um powerful medicine, ugh" LOL
We'll all be with you in spirit, unless I have gang business = )
When you have healed, we'll all descend on you for that BBQ.
(((((LOTS OF HUGS))))) Ghetto people love to hug.
wolfie
I have just returned home from my pre-op testing so hopefully everything will be a go there...( putting hands together in prayer)
Wolf, I think it is wonderful that you think of me enough to wantr to include me in your ceremonies, and no I dont mind if you pray for me; I humbly thank you.
Nurse thanks for the testing clarification....but today when I took my EKG the technician said something about the dr.s being sure my heart could tolerate the surgery...now that did concern me . I remember years ago when my mother was having something done, the Dr.'s said they could not put her out because her heart might not be able to handle the operation. What do they mean by that? What do they do, crank your heart rate up or something.... ;=(
I will check in later...I wish all of you a happy healthy day
DON"T FORGET THE BARB-B-QUE
BIG BIG (((((((HUGZ)))))))
Carole
I made you speechless? Hmmmm, is that a good or a bad thing LOL
Nursegirl has the knowledge, JSG has the insight - good people supporting you.
Don't forget about the BBQ and please bring lots of ICE CREAM.
Hugs ....
wolfie
Just look at it like anyone getting their driving permit needs an eye test....obviously...if they test you and find out you have horrible vision, you will be required to address your eyesight before being issued a license...and also they will put that "exception" that you must wear corrective lenses on your license.
Maybe that was a horrible scenario, but it was the only thing that popped into my mind...lol. The pre-op testing is routine for anyone over a certain age (in most cases that I'm used to, it is over 40). Unless an under 40 pt has a pre-existing health concern that they would want to test for.
And, btw...look at you go! Having your pre-op testing done...wooo-hoooo! The day is coming....and you will be just FINE...and healthier in the long run. We want you around for a LONG time....I like having you here!
But wait? What in the heck will we discuss after your operation? Does that mean I'm going to have to ring your doc and tell him to add another procedure on, so we can keep ya around? ;0)
Big hugs to you, carole....
Keepin' the faith.....atta girl!
P.S....Hey wolfie...if you would be so kind....could you add me on to your prayer group as well? I've been suffering maddening chronic headaches for a month now. I think it may have originally been related to dental work I had done...and it is just taking time to go away...but at this point....if someone offered to do a headectomy...I'd take them up on it! Grrrr! Thanks {{{{{wolf}}}}}...you're a sweetie.
Dont you worry your pretty little head about topics for conversation. I can see that I will be on this site for as long as GOD will let me type...I am not going anywhere. I have met sooooooo many good friends on here, and I will cherish those friendships for ever....really. Furthermore, I will be in some hellish pain for about 10 days, then I guess it will start tapering off...so I will need to get some hugz from you guys, oh and a box of kleenex...lol
Nurse about your headaches, what did the dentist say that did the root canal? In some rare cases I know you can get air pockets in the tooth, and that can cause extreme pain. One root canal I had, had my whole mouth was hurting, they wound up removing the tooth....all that money and I still lost the tooth...OH well. I hope you feel better sweetie and keep us posted about your progress.
Hugz and Kisses to you all
Carole
P.S. HEY JS WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I MISS YOU
I don't think you'll run out of topics. Maybe get into something substantive like "the role of bananas in a postmodern world" or "a bio-colonial examination of pre-existing pugilism in north and south america" LOL
You'll be fine Nervous, I don't doubt that for a minute. They'll give you drugs for the pain - WOOWOO. I'm just kidding. Vets give animals who have surgery "aggressive pain management" and that's likely what you will get too so you can heal more easily.
Nursegirl - Will add you to prayer list, if you don't mind a group of us Native folks praying and smudging for you. I find it really powerful and hope it helps you both.
((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) to both of you
wolfie
Nursegirl....stay close by... I will be bending your ear ALOT I am sure..
Thanks for everything..luv you guys.
Carole
P S just took my blood pressure...ready? 114/80 and holding.....
That BP is awesome, by the way!!!
Look at Carole go!!!
Sorry this is so short.
I saw the medicine woman today and we prayed and smudged and even had a little ceremony for nervous. There was also singing and drumming which, for us, is healing.
There's a doctoring ceremony on the weekend and we'll all be praying and asking the Great Mystery to be in the OR when you have your surgery.
TTYL and ....
(((((HUGS)))))
wolfie
i still have yet to read anything that tells me exactly WHY the DRS dont like removing the tonsils of someone my age. Then I am thinking is MY DR just doing this because thats how he makes his money? OMG I am getting very very frantic here....my BP is noticeably higher...HELP!!!
6 days and counting
Carole
The reason you can't find anything...is because ANY surgery is going to carry slightly (notice I said SLIGHTLY) higher risks the older the patient is. Just because of the "bounce back" factor. YOUR age? Not a concern. Unless you're really 90 and didn't tell us. ;0)
The docs will monitor you closely for any bleeding or problems...and remember he does this day in and day out...and could prolly do it in his sleep.
Finally....do you REALLY think that YOUR one surgery is going to buy him a new Mercedes? :0) Or maybe that he needs one more pair of tonsils in a pickle jar to complete his collection? :0)
I'm not saying docs don't EVER do unnecessary surgeries...but from what you said...you were supposed to have it done last year and didn't right? Most conditions become worse with time, not better. If I hadn't had my gallbladder removed when I did...I guaruntee I still would have had to have it out....and if I would have put it off...I would have opened myself up to more complications just by it BEING there, being ucky (yes, that is a medically approved technical term....UCKY...meaning "of the yuck").
I've got my listening ears on....I know 6 days and counting is nerve wracking for you...just THINK! This time next week, you'll be DONE...eating jello! Wa-hoo!
No, you hear me about the reading, woman? NO more googling, yahoo-ing, or askmrjeeves-ing. GOT IT?
;0)
Now that I've scolded you...I'll give ya a hug....... :0)
HANG IN THERE.....
Carole
sorry for using profanity
I wish it was NEXT week.....
Stay with me,
Carole
First, you are not OLD!!!! Whatever you read about "old folks" having to be right outside the nurses statement likely refers to patients in their 70s or 80s. Second, I would think that after your surgery you would be in the recovery room or ICU.
Regarding your fear of hemmorage, this can happen even having a tooth extracted. The OR people will know what to do and I think maybe if you do have a tendency to hemmorage, that will show up on some of the tests you've had done. Nursegirl can probably tell you more about that.
Your throat won't close - you'll be intubated.
I really can relate to your fears because I have a lot of fears about anything "medical" and it can be debillitating - the fear, I mean. It's a good thing that you are able to write about how you feel and share it with others.
Trust your surgeon, the OR team and the Great Mystery who'll be watching over you all the time. We'll all be with you in spirit. Don't forget, we still want that BBQ.
Also, I told you about the Doctoring Ceremony this weekend - you'll have people you don't even know praying and smudging and rituals to help you get through this. Native people don't take these ceremonies lightly. They are powerful. Like I think I said, this medicine woman has helped people with MS and even problems similar to yours.
((((((((((GREAT BIG GIANT HUGS))))))))))
wolfie
Yes, you will be on humidified O2, but that is totally standard...it's to keep your throat from getting too dry, and causing more pain....vs just regular non-humidified O2. Most folks are on O2 that first night anyway. They will have a little sensor on your finger that constantly monitors your O2 saturation...and just a little warning...them buggers alarm a LOT...but it is not anything to be concerned about.
Percocet does not contain a steroid. Do you have a problem taking steroids, btw?
And, yes...like wolfie said...the comment about people being near the nurse's stattion are referring to ELDERLY (geriatric) patients who may have a tendency to get confused...as anesthesia tends to worsen dementia.
YOU ARE NOT IN THAT AGE RANGE!!!!!
None of the stuff you read about "older" patients apply to you I promise.
Also, wolfie makes another great point.....any procedure carries a risk of hemmorhage (from tooth extractions to open heart surgery and everything in between that is invasive)....it does NOT mean it will happen...and the nurses know exactly what to look for, and watch for. It won't happen.... plus, the labs you had done...PT and PTT...that tests your clotting times...so that they know going in that you are clotting within normal limits. Cool huh? Plus, your hemoglobin and hematocrit tests for anemia, along with your RBC (red blood count)...in the CBC you had.
I know it's rough....but please honestly? Do not do a bunch of web searches...you'll find stuff that would scare the **** out of even ME...and medical stuff doesn't scare me too much. ;0)
Also, remember....of course it is normal for you to be nervous...you just have a higher level of anxiety than others. Did your doc prescribe you something to take the am of the surgery yet?
Your BP levels were just fine....the 90 is only moderately elevated. That would be another suggestion...unless you are having some weird hypertensive symptoms...do not even take your BP. You're on meds....they do their job. All you're doing is focusing extra hard on those numbers..and that is increasing your anxiety...as you are waiting to see some sky high result.
Wolfie and company are smudging for both of us...so that is awesome. While admittedly I don't know a lot about it...I believe in the power of prayer and sending positive thoughts for healing. I've been trying to send you positive thoughts all day...but I keep getting a busy signal??? I think I must be catching you when you're googling, or taking your BP. (That was supposed to make you laugh, Carole).
Wolfie...I think we had better plan to have LOTS of beer for the BBQ...we're all going to need it.
Hugs to you....
Nursegirl - the busy signal LOL
Nervous - anybody can put whatever they want on the Internet. I could make a web site saying that eating ice cream turns you into a Martian. For every statement you see "out there" you'll see another one contradicting it. I'm enough of a nerd to know that most studies lead to contradictory studies.
I think I'll go and have a few beers now - have to hold up the beer store and I can't find my ski mask or my water pistol.
TTYL
wolfie (marching off to jail for robbing the beer store)
I luv you guys so very much , honestly I do, you are the BEST of the BEST.
I see my PCP on the 19th...thats when I will ask for the sedative, and inquire about the other pain meds and stuff like that.
I havent heard anything from the pre-op testing yet so I hope everything is a "go" there. GOD i wish you guys were here.
I mean it about that Bar-b- Que. I have 3 bedrooms , but a tiny house. My one smaller bedroom has office stuff in it and a futon...you and your families are very welcomed for the weekend....I mean that
The kids could even bring sleeping bage for the living room...we'll make it work!!!
Carole
P. S. keep up the good work, I am feeling better
You are going to be fine. You have a lot of folks on the Forum sending you caring and supportive message so - you have us. Now you have a group of Native people you have never seen or met all praying for you.
I won't tell you not to worry because you'd worry anyway = )
Am feeling a bit "off" tonight so this message is going to be short.
Lots of hugs and good thoughts ....
wolfie
Night Night.
Hugs to you too, carole...I'm glad you're feeling a bit better! :0)
Thank you nursegirl. I hope so too.
Hugs (I nearly typed bugs) to you both.
wolfie
Get a good night's sleep....and hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow.
If not...we're here....you know how to start a new thread right? (that was a joke).
Seriously though...we're all allowed to take turns, ya know!
***goes to order more beer***
Night (again)....for real this time...I'm going to bed.
Wolfie feel me huggin you (((((Wolfie)))) Hop etomorrow is a better day.
Thanks nursefirl..its getting close. 6 days away... I think I will call the drs office tomorrow... I dont know if it is a cold coming on or allergies....god I hope its just allergies. do you think they can give me something so if it is a cold coming on they could catch it right away?
Nighty Night
Carole
I guess all that beer and ice cream must have helped some = )
Am still here to give nervous a (((((BIGHUG)))))
and to give Nursegirl a (((((BUGHUG))))) LOL
TTYL mes cheres amies
wolfie
I am really trying NOT to think about this, so my anxiety is not to bad today.
I have to clean the living room: blinds, floors, dust , vacumm the furniture, that room isint very bad. Once I get done there I will venture into the kitchen and wash everything I can in there.....not bad on dust though..
I better get back to work, I will check in later on.
BIG BIG BIG BIG HUGZ (((((((((((HUGZ)))))))))))
P.S. Wolfie is FRENCH Voule Voux!!!! I cant spell hope you know what I mean
Carole
Hugs and prayers to you nervous .... to both of you:
((((((((((BUG HUGS)))))))))) I learned something from nursegirl LOL
wolfie
- Isaiah4110
Hang in there!
BUG HUGS! :0) LOL
Isaiah....glad we made you laugh. I love to be able to laugh, especially at myself here and there. No better stress reliever than that!
You aint a kidding...no better stress reliever than laughter.... with bucket and feather duster in hand "hazel" makes another go for it.
I will check in later
\
Carole
Really, though the best thing you could do for yourself is to try to stay occupied and busy. You're ALMOST there....and you will do it! You have an appt Mon with your PCP right? Throughout the weekend, as concerns come up....write them down and then you can address them all at once, okay? And, don't forget to ask for something for the morning of the surgery. INSIST upon it...and if he doesn't get the level of anxiety....make it very clear to him. And NO concern is unimportant or silly....they are YOUR concerns, therefore they are all very valid...and there is nothing wrong with added reassurance.
I saw your questions on the other thread...and just one thing I want to mention to you to ease your mind...is that NO, the surgery or the anesthesia will NOT place you at increased risk for Alzheimer's. Hope that makes you feel a bit better.
Also, are you still frequently taking your BP? Try not to take it too much unless you honestly feel like you are having hypertensive symptoms. Even if you're feeling a bit anxious...try to avoid checking it...becasue that will add to your angst as well. Once or twice a day should be plenty for checking your pressure. Unless, of course...like I said...if you have symptoms!
Few more days....and we'll be planning our BBQ. You'll be so doped up after the surgery....you'll prolly end up inviting the whole world...lol!
BIG HUGS...I've got the listening ears on...as do everyone else here. Your surgeon sounds like he is very compassionate, that will ease your mind a lot.
You know I do have something else...and I dont really know whats up...I have alot of allergies..I am allergic to those white dandelion things that fly in the air. We have alot of them around here. Here is my delimma. my ears feel plugged and the area in back of the lobe is very tender.. now let me say that I dont think it is a cold, because anytime I get a cold I have a bad soar throat.....i dont. GOSH I sure hope I dont have a problem now......This surgery gotta go forward...What should I look for that might be suspicious.
I am so messed up.
Then I have a concern that once this is over, I will be in such ecrutiating pain Ill want to chop my head off....I have too many issues :=(
Smootches,
Carole
I just read that you want to be "doped up" - well, I am in the ghetto .... lol
Went to the ceremony, I never leave one without learning something.
Nervous - medicine woman said there will be a "white grandmother" with you through the whole thing. This has nothing to do with race. A "white grandmother" is a powerful, benevolent entity who will be watching over you and who will "hear" you if you need anything. She is good medicine. I guess that's why I find this medicine woman so good - she can "see" with inner vision. Everyone prayed for you and for nursegirl. Then they all want you to come up here and clean their houses LOL - just kidding.
Just saw your last post .... the pain can be managed with dope but is it worse than the pain of childbirth? That is something no male can begin to imagine and yes, I know I'm a sexist.
Will write more a bit later. Right now I have to return to "reality".
((((((((((BUGHUGZ)))))))))) to both of you
wolfie
I am so darn depressed about this whole thing.
I took the Claritan last night and I fell asleep. When I woke up it was to late to take my BP meds...well I cant tell you what THAT means....I am VERY digusted
Wolfie "white grandmother" is looking over me, thank you for all you have included me in, I need all types of prayers.
I will check in later...
Carole
Sorry to hear about the ear thing. I've tried Dimetapp for that but stick to what your ENT told you.
The doctoring ceremony was extremely powerful. There were a lot of elders and healers as well as a lot of us wanting to be healed. Before any ceremony begins, I usually go to the medicine woman or whoever is "in charge" and just mention those I would like added to the list of people to pray for and an idea of what their ailment is but not mentioning anything else. Nervous - you had everybody - everybody - praying for you; chanting, singing and drumming. Everyone in the lodge put some tobacco on the grandfathers (rocks) and offered a prayer. The medicine woman I go to is the one who mentioned the "white grandmother" who is a powerful entity and looks after those of us who need it and when we need it most. She didn't ask any personal questions but based on her comments, she could have been reading these posts!!!! She also said she and some of the elders would be praying and smudging till you had your surgery. I know this isn't the sort of information you can get from nursegirl but for us Native people, it is "good medicine" (now I sound like Tonto again).
She has helped me a lot since I've been going and it's difficult sometimes just to go since along with depression, anxiety and claustrophobia I finally confessed, on this Forum, that I have agoraphobia so getting to the rez is extremely difficult.
I can imagine you have mixed feelings about the surgery - part of you wanting to get it done with and part of you wanting to put it off. Do you think anxiety could be causing your ear problems? It's incredible what our bodies can do to reflect our emotions.
What BP meds do you take? Not being nosy - I take BP meds too.
Let me know what drugs you need - I grow weed in the backyard - ooops forgot, you're in law enforcement LOL I don't really grow weed .
Once again .... ((((((((((BUGHUGZ))))))))))
wolfie
Weed you say..........hmm that would be a good sedative for me right know...lol
Have you been feeling ok? I know that what you are going through is probably hell, Gosh why do we have these problems, its so darn unfair. Agoraphobia is so dibilitating...Kudos to you for getting up and out, I could only imagine how hard that is for you. I s your fear getting better at all? If you wouldnt mind, could you tell me how you deal with facing you fear of going outdoors. Well sweetie i hope to hear from you soon.
P.S. Have you seen nursegirl around, I miss her.
BIG BIG Hugzzzzzz (((((WOLFIE))))))
I can't think of anything that hasn't been posted already, except that you are in my thoughts and that I'm sure everything will be fine... keep us posted.
*hug*
Still thinking about you and sending good thoughts in your direction ....
wolf
(((((HUG)))))
I am so scared I am shaking in my boots and just had a bout with the hershey squirts...yuk
Luv ya much,
Carole
Just think, tomorrow is surgery eve.....you're DOING it and I'm sooooooo proud.
You know I'm here if you need me....really...okay? Do not hesitate.
BIG (non hershey) hugs! :0)
Don't EVER throw ice cream out the window. I have "issues" with that LOL
For what it's worth, I'll be thinking and praying for both of you.
Had a difficult few days so don't have much humor left but would rather send energy to both of you than waste it on things I can't control.
Hershey squirts LOL What about the green apple spatters?
((((((((((BUGHUGS)))))))))) to nervous and nursegirl (who invented the term "BugHugs"
wolfie
Everyone, I had the true honor of talking with our dear Carole on the horn last night...she is sweet, kind, and HYSTERICAL! This one's got a wicked sense of humor....and what's great is that she already has the ability to laugh at herself.....some of the silly things she does/did. That's awesome. I was howling.
We chatted for a while....and she really IS holding up well. Carole, I'm SOOO proud of you...and like we talked about....the wait is almost over. That part is SO hard to get through.
Be sure to update us when the hospital calls today with your OR time.
You're right there...on the goal line.....run run run!!!!!
Hugs to you!
I'll be thinking about you. Don't forget about the white grandmother watching over you and that all of us are going to be with you in spirit
Sent you a PM with my phone number, call collect if you want - I'm not nursegirl and don't have her medical knowledge (about humans anyway) but I know you'll be fine. And think of all that dope you'll get .... dope .... yummmmmmm
((((((((((HUGE GIGANTIC HUGS ))))))))))
wolfie
i will probaby not be posting again tonite......I will have my friend Jeff post update tomorrow nite if he can, to let you guys know how it went.
TIME FOR SURGERY 8:30 am
Love you guys,
Carole
Look for us when you wake up!
-S
Hopefully you're hanging in there okay!
I'll be there in spirit....you know that...and I'm sooooo very proud of how far you've come. We'll get you through the recovery period....but the hard part you've almost got beat!
WAY TO GO!!!!!
I'm here if you need to talk.....same way from the hospital...and like wolfie offered, you can call collect as well.
Love ya....hugs and kisses our brave carole!
We're all pulling for you.
BIG BUG HUGS!