I have anxiety and depression, writing a letter to a deceased relative for therapy.

[kabs8]

I suffer from anxiety and depression and my counselor hit on a hard subject for me, my sister's death.  She passed away 5 years ago, suddenly from a cerebral aneurysm.  She was 51.  I thought I had dealt fine with her death but I guess not.  I have always admired my sister, wanted to be like her in every way.  Even in her death, I want to be like her.  But I never told her those things.  My counselor suggested I write a letter to my sister telling her all those things and I found myself even apologizing for a few things as well.  My mother died 16 years ago and I figured losing my sister would be the same and I could get past it.  I was very close to my mother and it still hurts sometimes but I've learned to go on with just her memory, but the grief of losing my sister is totally different.  She was 3 years older than I and one would think after 5 years, I'd be past it, but as my therapist said, I'm still grieving.  I kinda feel foolish writing such a letter but will do it since my therapist thinks it may help, and I shed tears every time I start to write it.  Has anyone else had experience with this?

[PenelopeAnn]

Absolutely, and it was very helpful for me. My 15 year old brother committed suicide last year and I wrote him a letter. I expressed everything from sadness to anger to confusion and sobbed the whole time. It was a wonderful release. Of course I still am sad and things remind me of him, but I can just remember him without obsessing with 'why why why!' and repeating the scenario and image in my head.

[nozmeg]

hi there  i think its right what your therapist said i believe it will help you  theres nothing foolish about this at all you write and shed all the tears you need to shed tell her everything you want and need to say your memories and love for her will help you through your grief  take care now

[scaredjo]

hi i have never wrote a letter but god the regrets i have had not telling relatives things before they died is unbelievable, it must have been very hard losing your sister, the closest person i have lost was my grandad we were very close but in the end his mind went and i wish i had said more before this happened. i think it was a good idea to write a letter to her it will help get things off your chest.