I have no idea and would like some advice

[CXXXE]

hello, I'm female, 15 and I want to know if i have a anxiety disorder or is this just normal for a teenager- it all started when I was on holiday last year and one of the entertainment reps would not leave me alone and he used to say things and do things that made me panic and feel so uncomfortable but anyway I don't really want to bore you about the details, I don't like to talk a lot about it anymore, but since then I kept having panic attacks but I didn't think anything of it, however I soon started to develop a fear of, you could call it that of talking to anyone I haven't met before. That probably sounds quite stupid to you actually, well a better way to describe it is that I can't speak to anyone I don't know, like asking for help in a shop without panicking and feeling like I'm going to burst into tears, this was only mild at first but then something else happened to me at a party that made me feel uncomfortable and self conscious, not about my looks, just about the way I am, which is a complete walkover, and I hate myself for it, but anyway that's another story is rather not share,  I never really shook the fear off, it just got worse after that party and, I also have developed a lot of compulsive habits- for example everything in my room must be tidy and ordered and in the correct place or I might have some big meltdown and that probably sounds ridiculous but it seems like I can't help it, I'm constantly chewing my lip and biting the skin around my nails, and I can never sleep properly, you can probably tell from the time I'm posting this question. I also hate big social situations with people I don't know, my whole body goes numb and I tremble sometimes, I stand there and hope the ground will swallow me up, and if someone tried to speak to me, it's almost like I forget the English language and I have no idea what to say. But however I dance and I love the stage and I love to perform, it's like an escapism so I don't have stage fright or get nervous when I perform which sometimes makes me think it's not an anxiety disorder just nervousness but I don't know I just want some advice on what you think it is and what I should do, and before anyone asks, my parents no nothing about this, please help I really don't want to live like this anymore, I want to get better.

[CXXXE]

Thank you everyone for the advice and i definitely will take it, thank you

[Angel91baby]

Oh darling how awful for you!!!! Right, it sounds like you may have anxiety (possibly even generalised anxiety disorder) and a touch of OCD. The good thing is that both things can be cured with medication and therapy. For OCD and Anxiety, perhaps some CBT and Psychotherapy may help.

The first, and most important step, is to talk to your doctor. When you make the appointment ask which doctor in the practice is the best with mental health issues, and see them (that is if you have a choice or not, I know some people don't depending on where they live). You have to be completely honest with them and let them know how bad things are.

Bring a family member or a friend if you are nervous.

I know we all go through things differently, but I was abused for 7 years starting from when I was 6... then at 15 I was raped and ended up pregnant with my frankly amazing child, who has saved me in so many ways. The trauma of what happened gave me PTSD, GAD, BPD, DID and MDD. Mental health problems are hard to overcome... but it isn't impossible, and I promise you if you want to succeed in it you will.

Do you have a good adolescent mental health team near you? Your doctor should be able to make a referral.

If, for whatever reason, seeing a doctor is impossible (and I really, really urge you to try) then at least make sure you tell someone. Preferably your parents to start with. I know how scary the conversation is.. I had to have it with my mum. And we didn't get along well at the time. But rest assured that your parents love you and want to know. It will be hard, but I promise things are SO much easier when you aren't keeping the secret any more. You will feel like a weight has been lifted from you. But again, if that is impossible (I hope it isn't) then at least find a friend or someone to unload to.  Face to Face will be best for you, but if you can't find anyone you are welcome to message me and we can talk, but I would much rather you went to your support group if possible.

I wish you all the luck in the world my dear. You can, and will conquer this. xxx

[justcheryl]

Oh my goodness sweetheart.  What that man did was so wrong and borders on sexual assault.   All of your symptoms and everything you are going through goes back to that assault.   Your world has become unsafe and you no longer know how to trust or whom may assault you again.  Please tell your parents if they are supportive.   If not try and find someone you can trust and share with them.  Telling what happened releases the secret and the power it uses to control you.   You did nothing wrong. You are paying a very high price for some old jerks nasty behavior.  He should be paying a high price not you.  Please keep me updated.  I am praying for you.  
All is grace
justcheryl

[anxiety860]

It sounds like you may have had something happen in your past that makes you panick?? I suggest talking to your parents about this and open up to them. A doctor would be able to help you best. Keep on dancing and performing. Do things that make you feel comfortable and open up. Shoot I hate going to parties... I always feel uncomfortable. And that's not my anxiety that's just me not liking parties and feeling uncomfortable. Do you feel like you have anxiety?

[CXXXE]

I also panic over really small things and when I'm out on the street just waking up the road I start getting really frightened over the slightest thing or sound