I need Help!!

[AJ39]

This so new to me. I have had mild depression for about 10yr. and always relied on a med to help. Last Feb '10 my dr. put me on abilify and boy did it perk me up. however, the side effects were worse then the depression. no sleep!!! unable to concentrate, overeating, restless legs. So I stopped. I then plunged into the WORST depression and my first panic attack (lasted for 4 days) no eating,heart palpatitions, etc. I had no choice but to get back on the abilify with zoloft (i didn't stop) and decrease dosage over  4 weeks. now I have been off of it for 16 days. and continue to not eating (force myself) crying, severe heart palpitations, sweaty palms, and severe sense of worrying, guilt, and lonliness.  I've seen a psychiatrist who increased my zoloft, and put me on temazapam at night. also, a drug called risperidone, which I don't know what it does. When will this end? I also have severe diarrhea with the panic symptoms. This seems endless, there is no letting up. I cry and sob to my poor husband. Will this go away?

[AJ39]

Update: good news - after 30 days of these symptoms they have started lessening sllllooowly, but defiantely better. Now its day 42 and the heart palps are gone and also the sense of guilt and lonliness. the mornings are still the worst, but if I stay active (very hard to do) I feel better. I started walking 3-4mi about 3 x week and started taking fish oil for depression.  plus my other meds. but i had a lot of help and found a ton of great ideas from this website. it has been wonderful!! I think the zoloft is finally kicking in, I did get my dose increased. I still don't feel back to my old self but I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel:) I try to eat healthier per my pschyatrist that exercise and healthy eating dose help a great deal for depression and I've always noticed that after a 4 mi walk  i usually feel relief from most of my symptoms. (now it's just the motivation to get out there and doing it).
but thanks to everybody who have been so helpful and supportive and everybody that is writing.

[ettebette]

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You are very welcome.  You may find CD's that deal with anxiety and/or depression helpful.  If you check on meetup.com for groups in your area, you may also find support for anxiety and depression, offering useful coping skills.  Do you have interests or hobbies?  Check on meetup.com for those topics as well. There IS help out there.  Looking forward to hearing from you.

Ellen

[AJ39]

thanks for the suggestions. As I have been reading more I see that exercise seems to be the key. As soon as I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I am going to get on the treadmill and just walk (i'm not a runner) for an hour. That is my number one goal.  I used to walk semi-regularly for 3 miles. I know I have to do something. Thank you again.

[ettebette]

Hi.  I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Dysthymia (mild depression, but always present).  For the anxiety over the years, I have tried Xanax XR.  It lost its effectiveness over the years.  I am now on Klonopin.  I don't think it's that helpful.  I have tried MANY different antidepressants, as well as Abilify as an adjunct to the antidepressant Effexor XR, which I have been on for years.  I feel (and this is just my experience) that chemical (medication) have their place, but are not a panacea for what ails us.  Have you tried exercise (which releases endorphins, and can make you feel better) and/or meditation, which helps calm the mind.  Let me know what you think about these suggestions, and if and when you try them, how you are doing.  Good luck.

Ellen

[AJ39]

thank you! for answering. I feel so much relief someone out there understands and is listening. I am seeing a psychiatrist and now I'm trying to schedule a therapist also. To figure out the root of all of this. Thank you again.

[MMahon]

Be assured that you are not alone and many of us have been where you are or are there now.
I am not real familiar with risperidone and had to look it up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Risperidone
You may wish to discus this with your prescribing doctor as the treatment for unipolar and bipolar depressions are not the same.   Could he be misreading your anxiety as mania?
Severe anxiety frequently causes anorexia.  I would always be too sick to eat anything and be sick to my stomach all the time.   It's the best way to weight loss I've ever seen!  :-)
That is if you can stand being in hell while losing it.
Hopefully you are seeing a psychiatrist.  If not then I strongly recommend you do so.
Otherwise you subject yourself to mishandling of these medications and unnecessary adverse effects by doctors not specialists with these disorders.
When I first started with this illness I felt exactly as you do.   I would have gladly traded a limb or life in a wheelchair if I could be relieved of all the symptoms anxiety inflicted.  
Hang in there.  I'm sure you will be feeling better soon.

[AJ39]

thank you for replying so swiftly, I can't tell you how good it feels to know that I am not alone!! No, I was never dx with bipolar and I am pretty sure I am not,(but I don't know anything much now-a-days). I have been reading about other people's comments on their symptoms of anxiety. Know one ever told me what the symptoms were. I am trying to set up an appt with a psychologists also to help, but everything takes time and money. So, far this website has helped me relax a little. Especially, reading the helpful answers.  It was interesting to me that anxiety and the heart palp. are usually worse in the mornings. How about no appetite?  I mean I barely eat and only at night and that is soooooo unlike me. thank you guys out there for all your experience and knowledge. It literaly is saving me.

[MMahon]

What happened in feb that prompted your doc to prescribe abilify?
It seems that you have had a very bad reaction to abilify or you were on a dose that was too high for you.  
Does your doctor think you are bipolar depressive?  risperidone is usually prescribed for that and other things as well.
In any case, it sounds like you are experiencing a major depressive episode with severe anxiety.   Hopefully the increased zoloft will kick in soon and the temazapam will help you sleep thru the night.  
Many of us know what you are going thru and how bad it can be.  Yes it will get better and you will get thru this.  Keep after your doc until you get relief.  Will he prescribe you a tranquilizer to help with the panic attacks?  Don't be afraid to ask. God bless.