I need help....bad

[iDaleo]

I have had more anxiety the past 2 weeks than anyone could live with. I am constantly shaking, nervous, and afraid. It's a horrible way to live. About 2 weeks ago, my ex-girlfriend called me up after not talking for a few months. We hit it off and ended up having unprotected sex for 3 nights in a row. I thought everything was going great the rest of the week. Unexpectedly a week later she told me she didn't want any obligations or a boyfriend right now and wanted to cut it off completely. We are both in college at Ohio University and she said it's too hard to have a relationship in college. I was devastated. I also asked her if she had been with any other guys before we had sex just to be safe and she said no. But after pestering her about it when she wanted to end it with me, she told me she had sex with another guy in between when we were dating. This is what caused the majority of my anxiety. I am living in constant fear that I have contracted HIV, herpes, Syphilis, etc. I have to wait an entire month to go get tested for everything in order for it to be conclusive and I am having a hard time waiting that long. She told me she was safe and used protection with this kid, and that she's not going to get tested bc it would be pointless. But I still find new reasons to be scared every single day. I don't know what to do. She won't talk to me, and I am left freaking out 24/7. Any help or advice on what to do?

[iDaleo]

Thanks guys. You all really helped me feel alot better. I am not worried about HIV. I am getting over it slowly and surely as my anxiety tends to do. I just keep making the same mistakes by getting with girls and giving myself all sorts of dumb anxiety. Being on a college campus is tough when someone has pretty serious anxiety such as myself. My mom even thought I could have bipolar disorder and then I got all scared about that too. I know I probably don't have that. I guess the emotional strain of losing someone close to me combined with my fear of std's just was too much for me to handle. Once i get back my negative test results and get over my ex leaving me I think I will stay single and avoid sexual contact with other girls for a good deal of time. Theres too much stress constantly worrying about getting std's from random girls at the bar along with the emotional havoc I have experienced in teh past 2 years with my ex. Thanks again everyone

[peggy64]

Something else you also might want to consider remaining celibate until marriage. That is the safest way.  It is Gods plan for us, to keep us from having to deal with fears and realities such as this.

Best to you....

[RubyWitch]

And THAT my friend, is everything there is to be said. You heard it from the best.

The one and only thing I am going to say, which nursegirl HAS already said, is that we hope this experience has convinced you that a CONDOM ALWAYS policy must be adopted.

Nothing wrong with having a couple extra in your wallet to share with a friend..........like they say, "friends don't let friends drive drunk and they don't let them have sex without protection."
Actually, I just made that up, but it's damn good if you ask me!
Peace
Greenlydia

[nursegirl6572]

First of all, take a deeeep breath and chill.

I dont know if you visited our HIV forums, but if you did, you undoubtedly got very straight-forward and accurate advice.  I am a "regular" on the HIV Prevention forum myself.

Let's put this into perspective and look at the facts here.  While you DID place yourself at risk, the reality of it is, the risk is low.  Unless your ex is an IV drug abuser, it is HIGHLY unlikely that she has HIV.  HIV is still very much mostly prevalent amongst men who have sex with other men and IV drug abusers.  Even in the rare event that she IS indeed infected, just b/c you had unprotected sex, it isn't an "automatic" guaruntee that you will become HIV +.  

So, where do you go from here?  You are doing the right thing by being tested...you did have a risk, so testing is important.  One fact that I'd like to clarify for you is the testing guidelines.  Testing in one month from now will provide you with conclusive results for all NON-HIV STD's, however, you will need to test again for HIV at 3 months post exposure for a conclusive result.  The current guidelines are 3 months.  THAT being said...a 6 week negative result is a VERY VERY good sign of the final outcome, due to the advancement of the sensitivity of the testing these days.  Newly infected people actually test POS very rapidly.  So, have a test at 6 weeks to ease your anxieties a bit, then follow that up with a final test at 3 months.  You are at a higher risk of other STD's, as they are easier to transmit, but you will be able to retrieve conclusive results to rule out those diseases in a month (and actually most results probably sooner).

In the meantime, honestly...try not to lose too much sleep over it.  This is probably a good learning experience for you, so try to look at it that way.  You are suffering from extreme anxiety as a result of your lack of judgement.  We always say in the HIV Forum..."Sex lasts a moment, HIV lasts a lifetime".  I obviously don't have to tell you to adopt a condom ALWAYS policy for any type of vaginal or anal sex from here on out.

Being that you are experiening "situational anxiety" (meaning your anxiety has a direct and identifiable cause)...it will likely resolve after you get thru the testing process.  If it doesn't, then you may need to seek some professional help to work thru it.  

To help ease your mind a bit more....look under my profile, I wrote a journal called, "HIV: The Facts".  Try to keep your anxiety under control as much as possible so that it doesn't get out of hand and become an issue for you.

Hang in there, and honestly...please don't sweat it too much, you are likely just fine.