I think I have an anxiety disorder

I have always been extremely clean. I used to be worse then I am now. I cleaned and polished everything even the kitchen counter and after cleaning if anyone even propped their feet on the foot rest I got upset. After my divorce my apartment was clean and I like everything in it's place.

Now I am married with step kids and I have had to compramise a little, but crumbs on the counter or dirt drives me nuts. I gave them their own room to mess up that I only monitor once a week. BUT it bothers me and here is what bothers me

I see germs every where. I hate toys out after they walk away from them. They think I should let them clean it all up at the end of the day and I tell them no, you are done with it, put it away. I hate cups left on the table we have a spot for everything, even the day's cups. Crums drive me nuts. I clean up as I cook so it's all done.

Things left undone drive me nuts and I have to fight myself to do my day's work and then leave the rest for tomorrow.

My mind is constantly spinning, so I like to take care of stuff immediately not later.

It makes me irritable. Did I mention I clean and disinfect things every day?

My landlord had the place cleaned before i moved in, but I re-cleaned the whole house myself.

On a busy week when I can't get everything done I feel so far behind even if it's just a little behind and it makes me upset and I feel like I haven't achieved anything.

I literally start to shake if things are dirty or there is too much to do

Like tonight: We usually wait before bed to set up the coffee maker and make his lunch, but we did it earlier and it was something that greatly relieved my stress and gave me peace otherwise I would have been consumed by the added task in my mind til it was done.

I have to have things clean and organized and also I like to live as clutter and item free as possible.

I think I have some sort of disorder, because this runs and sometimes ruins my life.

My husband's ex was a filthy pack rat person beyond compare, as I cleaned up her filth (We're talking food and trash on the floor and smelly clothes in the closet) I literally saw the house they had lived in together as entirely filthy even after I cleaned it up. The first thing I do when the boys come home from her house is make them shower.

Cleanliness is good, but when it consumes you it is hard.

Thanks,
Crissy

[empowered2dream]

Other things bother me too, so it's not just the cleaning, but I guess I thought that was the one thing I had control of, the cleaning, lol But it has control of me. I used to be so patient, now I have a set time I think someone should be ready to go. Like tonight My husband went upstairs to put on shorts before we left and took ten minutes to do it. I was getting more impatient and upset by the minute. I asked him what he did and he said just put on shorts. grrr So off we went to the store FINALLY, lol

[silverberg]

Thanks for your post here, but this sounds more like a post for the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder forum (OCD). you should copy and repost in that forum, wish you the best of luck!!!!

[Hensley258]

I must agree with silverberg. That has OCD written all over it.

It can be treated which is the good news, but it will take professional help.
Do a Google search for "symptoms of OCD" I garentee that you will relate to those symptoms.

[empowered2dream]

Thanks I will :)