I want my life back... Help??

[r8chil]

Ok so, about a year and a half ago I was going through a hard time financially and started to have severe panic attacks and nocturnal panic attacks too. I figured that thy would go away once everything in my life got figured out and I would go back to normal or, at least my normal ( I have other health issues that I have been dealing with for most of my life). Well, a few months later, our finances were okay but these "attacks" never quit! And ever since, they've been a pain in the bum and life! I am 30 have children and I do not do anything or go anywhere anymore and have been told that I have agorophobia! I have been to the ER too many times to count, as well as to my PCP, I have had millions of tests everything under the sun CT scans, xrays,ekg, ecg, stress tests, bloodwork, cbc, cardiac enzymes, d-dimer, pretty much all the tests multiple times, all of whih are normal! My symptoms are as follows: chest/rib/abdominal pains (but bc of my other illness, I always have abdominal pains), constant dizziness, fatigue, see spots, increased heartrate (see below), ear fullness, headaches, spaghetti leg, etc. The chest pain comes and goes and I don't know if it is heart burn bc I had it maybe once before 13 yrs ago while pregnant. The odd thing is that these "attacks" they can happen at ANY time, whether I am sitting, standing, laying down, driving, anytime at all without warning. What makes it worse is that I am a nurse and i know better, but I can't seem to get my head to stop repeatedly thinking that something is not right and that there is def something wrong with me that is being overlooked, I guess I wouldn't be so worried if things hadnt gone wrong in the past however when those tests were fouled up, they had been run once, not multiple times by multiple doctors. Either way I find it so hard to believe that this is all just strictly panic attacks. I feel like the real me is gone and I fear that she is gone forever! Everything that I once enjoyed, I no longer do bc of these dag on things! I dont go anywhere, or do anything, I hardly ever leave my house, I dont drive bc I have had an episode while driving and thank god i pulled over in time and was safe. But I cant and won't risk driving with my children, not only that, where I live, everything is s far away and I feel lke I am missing out on everything and even feel like a horrible mother and person like I am letting everyone down and drivig them nus with all of my fears. I have taken meds to no avail and feel like I am crazy and alone. If anyone has ANY input, it would be greatly appreciated!! If I have forgotten anything or you have any questions, feel free to ask... Thank you for your time, and sorry for this long winded post :)

[samuelsamir]

i also had al your symptomes dizziness headaches chest pains palpitations and som many other symptomes they are freaking me out imy life is about to e ruined by these symptomes i want my life back can any ne help me please

[dani666]

Hi r8chil I have had alot of the same anxiety and panic symptoms as yourself for the best part of a year and a half now.I find that exposure is the best thing you can do because as you will notice you feel anxiety and panic most of the time anyway so by exposing yourself to the worst of these symptoms its improves the way you feel out of them.about the pains you have this is all  most definitely because of your anxiety and panic disorder because when you are under the pressure of anxiety and panic your so tense, every mussel in your body is being used as you tense yourself up,also if you are under a panic attack or a strong anxiety attack get yourself a mirror and look into it at yourself as your going throw your panic and watch as you start to focus on other things rather than what you fear.

[angela2281]

Hi, it's Angela

I was wondering how you were doing and was hoping you didn't abandon this site as even if we do not have all the answers, something that definately helps is having someone to talk to who knows where you are coming from. When we try to explain anxiety to people who do not have it, they look at us like we are crazy (which for most of us makes us panic more as this is a major fear for alot of us). I am not a doctor, I am simply another anxiety sufferer who can try to help from my own life experiences. I know one of the hardest pills I had to swallow with my anxiety, is that "I" cause most of my "mysterious ailments" and my aches and pains with worry. One thing I want you to know is that anxiety causes real physical symptoms, you are actually feeling this pain or having that heartburn but most of us resort to the worst possible scenario when it happens. I have been to the emergency room many times with repeated symptoms and it got to the point that the nurses knew me by name..lol. I felt this need in me to go because I always said to myself "Just because it was nothing last time, doesn't mean it is nothing this time." After a while, I started to do breathing exercises to calm myself before running to see a doctor. I would breathe in through my nose and hold it for ten seconds and then blow out through my mouth in a controlled slow manner for ten seconds until I felt my heartrate slow down. I found it easier to think rationally once I was calm. I started to write in a journal which I used as "busy work" to keep me calm. I would write down my symptoms....how I was feeling, what time it was, what day it was, what I did before the panic happened and anything that could be bothering me. I would then scan to days before and began to see patterns in my symptoms and panic attacks. I noticed than a half an hour after my extra large coffee, I would have symptoms. I cut out the caffiene and it helped immensely. It also helped me notice other triggers for symptoms. The best thing was that most times when I was finished writing, the pain had subsided and my panic was gone because I was concentrating on something else. That way I did not waste another 5-6 hours of my life on my anxiety sitting at the hospital for nothing. Positive re-assurance helps me alot of the time too, as I am doing my breathing to calm down I tell myself "You are fine Angela, this happened to you a couple of days ago and you are still alive, nothing bad happened to you, you made it through and you were okay." I also set my bedroom up as my "calm down" place. I kept my journal on my bedside table, decorated my room with pleasant things and pictures of people that I love and kept my room as tidy and clutter free as possible. When ever I felt anxious..I would take a 15 minute time out for myself. On days that these things didn't work, I would exercise. Anxiety can be a build up of adrenalin in our bodies that releases as a panic attack when it is not spent. Exercise helped me with this and it made me feel better about my health because I was doing something good for my body. I have also adopted a healthier diet as I noticed that certain foods gave me anxiety and it was usually one with alot of additives. Eating healthy is helping me feel better about my health as well because i know I am lowering my chances of having a heart attack, stroke or other things I worry about at times. You can feel free to write to me anytime as I know how you feel, I have been there. I now get out and play with my kids more, feel the sun on my face and know I am a good mom instead of spending my time worrying that I am not.
Take care my dear,
Angela  

[r8chil]

Hi there! I just read your post... First off thank you for writing to me, I appreciate it! I was worried noone would see/read my post since whenever I do any searches for symptoms etc, everything remotely related to me and what I am going through is from years ago. I was on Paxil years ago and have been on quite a few meds (paxil, effexor, cymbalta, pretty much you name it!), all to no avail. my pcp gave me buspar but I haven't started it yet and the xanax he gave me I have taken a couple but I hate taking meds and I think the fear is from the past experiences taking others with all of the side effects. I know that they may help but at the same time I fear that they won't. Plus I am aleady on so many other meds as it is and I am always thinking about how  came to this place, needing to take pills everyday... if its not one thing its another, ya know? After reading your message though, I am going to try them in hopes that I get some relief (ANY at all would be better than this!). I just dont know what else I can do anymore, its like I am literally a prisoner within my own body or something. Like just a bit ago, I had one of these "episodes" (after calming down a bit, I thought of coming o to do my search for reassurance...), I have been having chest pains (and abdominal pains as well which isnt new to me but, it too has been bad lately) since yesterday on and off then a little bit ago I also had, pain is up above my left breast up high though kind of below the front of my shoulder (where your hand would be if you were saluting the flag? up by my collarbone), pain i the armpit area toward the front also, hot flashes and sweating, heart palpitations and this painful pulsating pain throughout my back mostly in the lower region, increased heartrate, and then tears bc it scares me and it hurts. This has happened before and of course I went to the ER and had all the tests which were all negative. I didnt go now bc I dont drive alone and bc I was shaking so bad that I just came in to lie down in bed. still I have slight shaking in my hands and a crampy pain in my chest in the same place as well as this gassy? type of pain in the center. Do/did you ever have the same recurring symptoms and go to the er "just in case"? and if so, did you feel better after being reassured/told that the test were negative and that it is panic/axiety? Just wondering bc it is freaking me out but I also feel like the staff all think that I am crazy and a waste of time. But I also worry that just bc the tests were clear before, what if something IS different now... Idk, sorry for the long message but I dont know anyone else in my situation. Thank you again for your help nd understanding, really... it means so so much you have no idea! Just wish there were more ppl out there with a cure or input. Hope to hear from you again soon!
rachael
p.s. Idk if I mentioned before that I have had a total hystorectomy? Maybe the lack of hormones may have something to do with this poop?!

[angela2281]

I am also 30 and have children. I have suffered from panic attacks and anxiety as long as I can remember. I have visited the ER countless times sure I was dying. I have constant fatigue, I get unreal fears and I also barely go anywhere. I know how you feel as I have been there and at times still am. I am currently taking paxil and although it does relieve the panic feeling and the severe anxiety, I am still pretty much anti-social. I have IBS due to the anxiety and sometimes fear that I am going crazy. The paxil has helped me in some ways and I am happy with any relief-Really happy to have some relief. Paxil has reduced the amount of panic attacks I have, the severety and the longevity of them. I have also been reading books and doing a program put out by Lucinda Bassett and they are helping like you have no idea. Anxiety runs in my family and I have been passing these books and cd's around to other family members and they are all thanking me. I have been working hard to train my brain to be optimistic, looking at the glass as half full instead of half empty. I believe that positive thinking and facing my fears are making a world of difference. Please feel free to write to me anytime...I truly understand where you are coming from. As I read your post, it reminded me of myself..you sound just like me a year ago. I hope I have helped a little and I hope I have offered some comfort that things do get better.
Angela