Aa
I'm at the end of my rope with this
I really don't know how this or anyone can help, but I figured I'd give it a shot. February 1st I made a really crappy decision to have sex with an African Sex Worker. I regretted that decision immediately afterward. I wore a condom. I woke up the next morning and saw a red abrasion near the base of my shaft. I remembered I didn't have it before I went to this crappy establishment. I was married at the time. My stress and anxiety after seeing that abrasion skyrocketed through the roof.
I googled how I could have gotten it. I thought maybe it was herpes at first. But after around 7 days the abrasion went away. Then that's when I started feeling so many symptoms. I started having cold chills, I began noticing a hot (inflamed) appearance on my toes and legs and it moved up my body to my forearms and hands that consistently burned and it looked like a sun burn, I tried to eat but the food made me nauseated and sick, my poops became small and soft, I began to feel dizzy and lightheaded and my stomach was irritated, and my tongue was really dry and pale. I woke up in the middle of the night to the back of my head sweating pretty profusely onto my pillow. I also had inflammation around my bicep and elbow crease. It took me 2 days to go out and buy a thermometer to take my temperature. The highest it got was 99.1 but who knows what my temperature was before that point? Even with a normal temperature I was still having cold chills, and night sweats. How is that possible? After around 20 days the cold chills and the burning in my forearms and hands finally went away.
I started to have a quick little seizure/twitch like feeling in my neck on both sides. When I put my hands on the area I noticed my lymph nodes. I had been feeling for my lymph nodes this whole time, but could never feel them until then. I noticed them in my groin, and my armpits too. I also started noticing a loud ringing in my right ear too. I thought if I confronted my anxiety/stress and told my wife that it would help with all my symptoms. So I told her what I did. It didn't help. She and I are now in the middle of a divorce with children. After telling her, I sought the help of a psychologist. He couldn't help me either. I tested for HIV 3 times by this point. 11 days after (3rd Gen), 17 days after (4th Gen), and 26 days after (3rd Gen) all negative. By this point I started having twitches all over my body, I started having numbness in my forearms and hands and my feet, my gut started to rumble and vibrate and gurgle constantly 24/7, I started noticing more joint pain, and my fatigue and tiredness were getting worse. I took a 31 day (4th Gen) test negative. British doc said it was highly likely to exclude HIV. I went back at the 6 week, the 8 week, and the 12th week and all were negative. I tried another clinic at the 97 day mark- Negative. I had another test administered by U.S doctors at 134 days (3rd Gen) and it was negative.
I have tested for many other things too. Negative for celiac disease, negative for crohn's disease, I've had stool samples given, and a plethora of other evaluations by my doctor to rule out anything else and nothing else is coming up. I had a CBC initially done a few weeks after the incident, and my lymphocytes went down pretty drastically and my neutrophils were pretty high. I just had another CBC done a couple weeks ago which showed my lymphocytes were higher than the last CBC, but not by much. My US doc is firmly convinced I need to test out to 6 months. He also believes that a lot of my ailments could be due to stress. I just got sick recently 3 days ago with a fever, a headache, and a cough which produced some green phlegm. I'm still dealing with everything else listed before. I have seen White plaque on the sides of my tongue which looked just like Hairy leukoplakia, and today when I ate buffalo wings my entire mouth to include my tongue and inner cheeks turned completely white.
I don't even know why I wrote all this. It's not like there's anything on here anyone can say to help anyway.
I googled how I could have gotten it. I thought maybe it was herpes at first. But after around 7 days the abrasion went away. Then that's when I started feeling so many symptoms. I started having cold chills, I began noticing a hot (inflamed) appearance on my toes and legs and it moved up my body to my forearms and hands that consistently burned and it looked like a sun burn, I tried to eat but the food made me nauseated and sick, my poops became small and soft, I began to feel dizzy and lightheaded and my stomach was irritated, and my tongue was really dry and pale. I woke up in the middle of the night to the back of my head sweating pretty profusely onto my pillow. I also had inflammation around my bicep and elbow crease. It took me 2 days to go out and buy a thermometer to take my temperature. The highest it got was 99.1 but who knows what my temperature was before that point? Even with a normal temperature I was still having cold chills, and night sweats. How is that possible? After around 20 days the cold chills and the burning in my forearms and hands finally went away.
I started to have a quick little seizure/twitch like feeling in my neck on both sides. When I put my hands on the area I noticed my lymph nodes. I had been feeling for my lymph nodes this whole time, but could never feel them until then. I noticed them in my groin, and my armpits too. I also started noticing a loud ringing in my right ear too. I thought if I confronted my anxiety/stress and told my wife that it would help with all my symptoms. So I told her what I did. It didn't help. She and I are now in the middle of a divorce with children. After telling her, I sought the help of a psychologist. He couldn't help me either. I tested for HIV 3 times by this point. 11 days after (3rd Gen), 17 days after (4th Gen), and 26 days after (3rd Gen) all negative. By this point I started having twitches all over my body, I started having numbness in my forearms and hands and my feet, my gut started to rumble and vibrate and gurgle constantly 24/7, I started noticing more joint pain, and my fatigue and tiredness were getting worse. I took a 31 day (4th Gen) test negative. British doc said it was highly likely to exclude HIV. I went back at the 6 week, the 8 week, and the 12th week and all were negative. I tried another clinic at the 97 day mark- Negative. I had another test administered by U.S doctors at 134 days (3rd Gen) and it was negative.
I have tested for many other things too. Negative for celiac disease, negative for crohn's disease, I've had stool samples given, and a plethora of other evaluations by my doctor to rule out anything else and nothing else is coming up. I had a CBC initially done a few weeks after the incident, and my lymphocytes went down pretty drastically and my neutrophils were pretty high. I just had another CBC done a couple weeks ago which showed my lymphocytes were higher than the last CBC, but not by much. My US doc is firmly convinced I need to test out to 6 months. He also believes that a lot of my ailments could be due to stress. I just got sick recently 3 days ago with a fever, a headache, and a cough which produced some green phlegm. I'm still dealing with everything else listed before. I have seen White plaque on the sides of my tongue which looked just like Hairy leukoplakia, and today when I ate buffalo wings my entire mouth to include my tongue and inner cheeks turned completely white.
I don't even know why I wrote all this. It's not like there's anything on here anyone can say to help anyway.
Best Answer
I'll start looking into that. I do have a psychologist at my disposal and I've seen him a few times. I just haven't really bought off on it. Thanks for being patient with me and giving me advice. I know I really appreciate it, and I think I can speak for many others on this website and say you do a tremendous effort trying to help us.
Plokoon81, man, it's nice knowing someone else is there with ya. I wish you the best, and if it's alright by you, keep me informed as I will you. One day soon I hope, we'll be back. Whether it's mental or physical.
Plokoon81, man, it's nice knowing someone else is there with ya. I wish you the best, and if it's alright by you, keep me informed as I will you. One day soon I hope, we'll be back. Whether it's mental or physical.
No, you don't sound like a buffoon at all! You sound like a worried, anxious person trying to get to the bottom of why you feel so cruddy!
It's VERY hard for a person to accept something (even scientific proof), when their symptoms/sensations are singing a different tune. The PROBLEM with symptoms (especially like yours) is multifaceted......
For ONE, anxiety makes us OVERLY aware and focused on even the most vague, subtle sensation. Something we wouldn't even NOTICE before becomes life threatening.
Secondly, searching the internet and self diagnosing is seriously just like pouring gasoline on a fire. There's a VERY good reason doctors go to school for almost a decade. If it was as easy as using Dr. Google, or "symptom checker", we wouldn't NEED the doctors, would we? The process of diagnosing something is complex....and doctors use a lot of tools to do so, objective data, subjective data, labs, diagnostic tests...then they look at the WHOLE picture. You simply CANNOT determine that you have X,Y,Z from looking on the internet...and when you DO do that, you're (again) fueling your anxiety. Even IF your doctor diagnosed with with OHL, it STILL wouldn't mean HIV. These things just aren't that cut and dry.
Lastly, IF anxiety is either causing or exacerbating any of the symptoms....the symptoms will persist (and even worsen, and the symptom list will get longer) as long as the anxiety is not addressed. Heck, at this point, even if your anxiety isn't CAUSING your symptoms, it's definitely an issue for you.....you're stressed, without a doubt (understandably).
That's why I keep pushing (probably to the point of annoyance) for you to address the anxiety...make that one of your main priorities. It's not going to happen overnight, and it takes work. There are a LOT of things YOU can do to help yourself. The internet searching for example is a HUGE one. You'd be better off throwing your pc through a window at this point. You're under the care of a doctor.....that's good...you don't NEED to do anymore "homework" at this point, because it's only muddying the waters for you....and making you feel worse, emotionally.
You very well could have (or do) have something medically going on. That's why it's good to keep working with your doctor...HOWEVER, I still feel strongly that there is a HUGE anxiety component, and I think if you made some significant progress on that front, decreasing your overall level of anxiety, you might just be shocked to find that a lot of your symptoms will either improve, or resolve all together.
Of course, keep us updated. I feel for you....and don't feel badly about posting. This IS the anxiety forum. Just do me a favor and put addressing your anxiety on the top of your list...and start that ball rolling in addition to the medical stuff.
Get into see a therapist, who can help you start finding new ways to cope. If you MUST search the internet (lol), start searching for help for the anxiety. Get engaged in life again...I know you don't feel well and I know it isn't easy, but if you push yourself, you'll feel much better....JUST for the sake of distraction. You're ruminating about all of this...getting out of your head is a must.
Check out our list of resources, and pick a book or two, and order them. Self help books are an awesome way to learn more about what you're dealing with (in this case, anxiety)...and things you can do to work through it (there's a LOT). It takes time, patience and hard work to stop that merry go round thinking. You'll feel worlds better though when you accomplish that....even IF you're still physically not up to par.
Here's our resource list....now get busy!!!! ;0)
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Mental%20Health/Anxiety-and-Panic-Resources--Books--Websites--Self-Help-Programs/show/1285?cid=60
Hang in there, bud!
It's VERY hard for a person to accept something (even scientific proof), when their symptoms/sensations are singing a different tune. The PROBLEM with symptoms (especially like yours) is multifaceted......
For ONE, anxiety makes us OVERLY aware and focused on even the most vague, subtle sensation. Something we wouldn't even NOTICE before becomes life threatening.
Secondly, searching the internet and self diagnosing is seriously just like pouring gasoline on a fire. There's a VERY good reason doctors go to school for almost a decade. If it was as easy as using Dr. Google, or "symptom checker", we wouldn't NEED the doctors, would we? The process of diagnosing something is complex....and doctors use a lot of tools to do so, objective data, subjective data, labs, diagnostic tests...then they look at the WHOLE picture. You simply CANNOT determine that you have X,Y,Z from looking on the internet...and when you DO do that, you're (again) fueling your anxiety. Even IF your doctor diagnosed with with OHL, it STILL wouldn't mean HIV. These things just aren't that cut and dry.
Lastly, IF anxiety is either causing or exacerbating any of the symptoms....the symptoms will persist (and even worsen, and the symptom list will get longer) as long as the anxiety is not addressed. Heck, at this point, even if your anxiety isn't CAUSING your symptoms, it's definitely an issue for you.....you're stressed, without a doubt (understandably).
That's why I keep pushing (probably to the point of annoyance) for you to address the anxiety...make that one of your main priorities. It's not going to happen overnight, and it takes work. There are a LOT of things YOU can do to help yourself. The internet searching for example is a HUGE one. You'd be better off throwing your pc through a window at this point. You're under the care of a doctor.....that's good...you don't NEED to do anymore "homework" at this point, because it's only muddying the waters for you....and making you feel worse, emotionally.
You very well could have (or do) have something medically going on. That's why it's good to keep working with your doctor...HOWEVER, I still feel strongly that there is a HUGE anxiety component, and I think if you made some significant progress on that front, decreasing your overall level of anxiety, you might just be shocked to find that a lot of your symptoms will either improve, or resolve all together.
Of course, keep us updated. I feel for you....and don't feel badly about posting. This IS the anxiety forum. Just do me a favor and put addressing your anxiety on the top of your list...and start that ball rolling in addition to the medical stuff.
Get into see a therapist, who can help you start finding new ways to cope. If you MUST search the internet (lol), start searching for help for the anxiety. Get engaged in life again...I know you don't feel well and I know it isn't easy, but if you push yourself, you'll feel much better....JUST for the sake of distraction. You're ruminating about all of this...getting out of your head is a must.
Check out our list of resources, and pick a book or two, and order them. Self help books are an awesome way to learn more about what you're dealing with (in this case, anxiety)...and things you can do to work through it (there's a LOT). It takes time, patience and hard work to stop that merry go round thinking. You'll feel worlds better though when you accomplish that....even IF you're still physically not up to par.
Here's our resource list....now get busy!!!! ;0)
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Mental%20Health/Anxiety-and-Panic-Resources--Books--Websites--Self-Help-Programs/show/1285?cid=60
Hang in there, bud!
hey buddy .. I believe you. I to had an experience with a CSW and after that it all went down hill. I used to be active and healthy and as you say invincible. but after that event. It is all a nightmare.
my docto r said it was CFS etc and he wanted to give me anty depresants. But im not depressed !!! I just want to know WTF is going on with me
hope you find out what it is .. and tell us maybe i have the same as you
my docto r said it was CFS etc and he wanted to give me anty depresants. But im not depressed !!! I just want to know WTF is going on with me
hope you find out what it is .. and tell us maybe i have the same as you
I hear you. And I'm sure I sound like a buffoon. Especially after reading what I've already written and yet still I'm on te HIV warpath. I desperately want it all to stop. Which is why I've sought out help on here, and looked for doctors to corroborate my hopes. But at the same time there's always that smudge of uncertainty. And I believe anxiety has played a factor in all of this, just how much of a factor I don't know. I don't know how to wrangle my anxiety into full control, but I believe my stress/cortisol levels are much lower now than they have been since all of this has started. I feel "relatively" better, but again, it's relative. I used to feel untouchable. Now, I have trouble getting out of my bed. I honestly do not know what is happening. I've never been more lost and confused in my life. Every symptom known to man on the internet and in the clinics that educate for HIV I had. Still have symptoms that point directly to HIV like OHL. I haven't been diagnosed with OHL... But it looks earily similar. I'm just lost. My fear/paranoia/body/subconcious feel these symptoms and I only believe it's one cause. Then sexual health experts tell me a test says I'm negative so therefore I'm negative. But that's it, they don't go into other reasons that can attribute the cause of my symptoms. They just tell me to work with my Doc. So I work with my doc and he's not really sure what the hell he's looking for either. But after negative test, and dead ends into investigations he finally says: "it's CFS". And I am not a woman, and was an all start health wise before all this. Fitness junky. Health food junky. Didn't smoke, do drugs, barely ever got sick. And now this. And everyone mentions anxiety. Even me. But seriously, There was some kind of illness that took place. And I believe it transpired after my exchange with that lady. I don't have a clue actually. I just want it all to go away. Or give me some kind of peace.
I appreciate what you said. I'm going to be a squeeky wheel on this website until I find the light at the end of my tunnel. Whenever and whereever that may be I don't have any idea.
I will take your advice and continue to work with my doctor.
I appreciate what you said. I'm going to be a squeeky wheel on this website until I find the light at the end of my tunnel. Whenever and whereever that may be I don't have any idea.
I will take your advice and continue to work with my doctor.
Read your own words.....
"I will get those results within 10 days from today. If they come back undetectable or negative, then I am done testing. And I'm going to breathe a little easier. And if they are negative/undetectable I'm going to stop the worry and the fear of HIV. And instead focus on relieving my stress and investigating solely through a doctor what else could be causing me so much physical grief. Hopefully it will remain good news. I will post the results no matter the outcome. If it is negative I make a promise to do absolutely no internet searches or any perseveration on the matter again. Instead only work with my doctor and believe the results of my tests. I feel happier today, because finally I feel like I've done all I can do at this point. "
I don't agree with you that this is not anxiety related. I think it's at LEAST a huge contributing factor.
Your words above make it clear that you promised yourself to move on from the HIV fear after you've done certain things. You're there. If you have to continue to work with your doctor, then do so, but don't be so quick to dismiss anxiety as a factor.
Luck to you.
"I will get those results within 10 days from today. If they come back undetectable or negative, then I am done testing. And I'm going to breathe a little easier. And if they are negative/undetectable I'm going to stop the worry and the fear of HIV. And instead focus on relieving my stress and investigating solely through a doctor what else could be causing me so much physical grief. Hopefully it will remain good news. I will post the results no matter the outcome. If it is negative I make a promise to do absolutely no internet searches or any perseveration on the matter again. Instead only work with my doctor and believe the results of my tests. I feel happier today, because finally I feel like I've done all I can do at this point. "
I don't agree with you that this is not anxiety related. I think it's at LEAST a huge contributing factor.
Your words above make it clear that you promised yourself to move on from the HIV fear after you've done certain things. You're there. If you have to continue to work with your doctor, then do so, but don't be so quick to dismiss anxiety as a factor.
Luck to you.
I haven't been "addressing" the anxiety per se. I have sought medical attention to address the physical ailments my body is going through. You see, I wouldn't have anxiety if my body wasn't experiencing everything. I could forget all this and never look back if I could just physically feel better. I have my ways of releasing stress. My body just feels like it's realing from something. This isn't anxiety. I have been to war, and dealt with that stress and anxiety. And while I know it had an impact on me then, nothing of what I feel now is similar to then. This is different. I am going to continue to work with my internal medicine doctor. He's pretty content with calling this CFS. But I just don't see how that's possible.
Sorry you're still not feeling well. Have you been getting help for the anxiety?
Not sure what else is there is to tell you, other than to keep working with your doctor, and keep working to address the anxiety, because if anxiety is causing any of your symptoms, they won't go away until you address it...as a matter of fact, untreated anxiety will make the symptoms worse.
HIV has been unequivocally ruled out. You saw one of the world renowned HIV specialist who told you that.
Not sure what else is there is to tell you, other than to keep working with your doctor, and keep working to address the anxiety, because if anxiety is causing any of your symptoms, they won't go away until you address it...as a matter of fact, untreated anxiety will make the symptoms worse.
HIV has been unequivocally ruled out. You saw one of the world renowned HIV specialist who told you that.
funny enough my doctor also said i had CFS.. and i still feel drained from my experience. not to mention i have dermatographia thanks to this event. I am now taking anty hestamins on a daily basis
and i never had this issue before.
it might not be HIV it might be a new virus we dont know. after all no one knew of HIV in the 70s did they?
and i never had this issue before.
it might not be HIV it might be a new virus we dont know. after all no one knew of HIV in the 70s did they?
Man I am so sorry that you keep going through that. If your hiv tests both antibody and pcr tests are negative then you are hiv negative by any human possible method of diagnosis.Nobody can tell you that your symptoms are defenately caused by anxiety.You should keep looking for what is causing those symptoms but you sould not give your self one more problem by thinking about hiv.Trust your tests and your doctors.I really hope you will find a solution with this.A psychologisist is not only needed for someone to accept his negative status but to help you go through this tough situation also.Hiv is not the only problem that needs psychologigal help to go through it. I really hope for the best!
Well I am still in hell. Still dealing with so many symptoms. My internal medicine doctor believes I have CFS. But I'm still having OHL symptoms, still having blood shot eyes, my skin constantly feels like it's burning and numb in my forearms and feet. My ears have pain, with ocassional tinnitus, I'm still having twitching throughout my body, and my colon and stomach make so much noise and have so many spasms, and my lymph nodes have consitently been enlarged since the incident. My lymph nodes aren't overly enlarged, but they have been bigger since its all happened and have not once gone down. It's like there's a burning inflammation going on constantly inside my body. I mean it's ridiculous. And very frustrating. I told myself after the 179th test I would forget about HIV. But I keep remembering I had sex with that dirty woman... Which makes me a dirty man. And I cannot let this go.
I think my doc is stretching for a diagnosis with CFS. And plus, I haven't heard anyone with CFS who have OHL. Not only that, my body, and immune system have always recovered from your trivial, garden variety virus. I know this wasn't Mono. I was tested for that. I just can't accept that these symptoms aren't anything but HIV. I will continue to post, and update, and follow through on what is bothering. But I'm not getting "psycho-therapy" for this. I know who I am, I'm here in reality. I FEEL these symptoms constantly. It's not getting better either. I'm also doing this to document it all. I trust in science, but I can't help but doubt it right now.
I think my doc is stretching for a diagnosis with CFS. And plus, I haven't heard anyone with CFS who have OHL. Not only that, my body, and immune system have always recovered from your trivial, garden variety virus. I know this wasn't Mono. I was tested for that. I just can't accept that these symptoms aren't anything but HIV. I will continue to post, and update, and follow through on what is bothering. But I'm not getting "psycho-therapy" for this. I know who I am, I'm here in reality. I FEEL these symptoms constantly. It's not getting better either. I'm also doing this to document it all. I trust in science, but I can't help but doubt it right now.
my man you are not infected 28 days its enough for antibodies to be detected in a hiv test wish you good health further
Try to seek some psychological therapy.Maby those symptoms will disapear after some sessions.Then you will defenately know that this was caused by the axniety.If not you can allways search more.
You called it. ThePinkFloyd you called it too. I've tested every way imaginable now. I'm negative. I'm convinced it's not HIV. I'm still suffering, but I definitely believe something else is the cause. I appreciate you very much! Thank you so much.
That isn't at all uncommon. Actually, it's quite typical, that's because HIV tests are run in batches...so they're sent out in batches. So, if you had your test done on a Monday, the lab may not even send the test OUT until they have a bunch, like on the following Friday.
Quit catastrophizing, and making everything a crisis. You didn't need any more HIV tests to begin with, this is all unnecessary.
Quit catastrophizing, and making everything a crisis. You didn't need any more HIV tests to begin with, this is all unnecessary.
The fact that they are delaying your resaults does not mean that your test is positive! Don't think like that.Propably is due to the load of work that they have.I also had a delayed resault...and it was negative. If your resault was a positive one I think that they would not delay it on perpuse but they would inform you as fast as they could so that you can have the propper treatment.Its what they say...no news..good news. For all you know you are negative and untill wednsday you will continew to know only that.Don't give up and dont panick.Good luck man.I really hope for your negative resault!
This is not looking good. Results were supposed to be back to me today but the lab says they won't release the results until Wednesday! I don't understand why! It's very concerning and I'm pretty sure what I've feared all along is about to come true.
Still haven't gotten the viral load results yet. I had a CD4 count done. Doctor told me EVERY result was perfect, and resembled a normal healthy immune system. But it's only been 6 months, and I'm not sure what HIV does to those type of cells after 6 months. What I do know is that I am still suffering from everything I have already mentioned still. My fatigue and my skin in the back of my hands and forearms, and the heels of my feet are on fire every night. It's getting very concerning. Because I'm wondering if it's Peripheral Neuropathy. It doesn't come and go, its been constant. I am seeing a lot of my symptoms correlated with Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. But I don't know if they're the cause, or if there's another underlying cause to those symptoms, plus the neuropathy. I'm seeing an internal medicine doctor on the 11th.
I really hope the viral load is negative, and I took my 6 month antibody test for HIV-1/ and HIV-2 a few days ago as well just to be extra sure... If all is negative I hope I can focus on other causes for all this crazy stuff that is happening to me. I'm tired of feeling like this.
I really hope the viral load is negative, and I took my 6 month antibody test for HIV-1/ and HIV-2 a few days ago as well just to be extra sure... If all is negative I hope I can focus on other causes for all this crazy stuff that is happening to me. I'm tired of feeling like this.
I appreciate that man. I appreciate everyone's words and candor. This website has been a Godsend.
Good luck on your resaults man. We are all hoping that you willl get through this.I am sure your resault will be negative! Don't give up :)
I went and saw Dr. Sean Cummings today and I gave in, and requested a HIV-2 DNA viral load test. He believes it's not any HIV. For my mind to be clear of HIV I needed to take that test. I understand antibody tests are more sensitive these days than they were even 2-3 years ago, and I'm grateful for that, but it's always unnerving when you have symptoms, and what you believe to be a high risk situation. And when you believe those things, combined with multiple websites, including probably the most reputable website (CDC) stating that it "may take persons 6 months to develop antibodies" I couldn't believe my results. And there's really not been much reported about HIV-2 and how long it takes for ones body to react to it. So I had all these 4th Generation tests which went looking for the HIV-1 virus and repeatedly came back negative, I was happy to believe that no way this can be HIV-1! But I realized the 4th Generation test doesn't actively look for the HIV-2 virus, just your bodies antibodies to the virus. I needed to take this DNA test for HIV-2 today in order to bring me the peace I need.
I will get those results within 10 days from today. If they come back undetectable or negative, then I am done testing. And I'm going to breathe a little easier. And if they are negative/undetectable I'm going to stop the worry and the fear of HIV. And instead focus on relieving my stress and investigating solely through a doctor what else could be causing me so much physical grief. Hopefully it will remain good news. I will post the results no matter the outcome. If it is negative I make a promise to do absolutely no internet searches or any perseveration on the matter again. Instead only work with my doctor and believe the results of my tests. I feel happier today, because finally I feel like I've done all I can do at this point.
I will get those results within 10 days from today. If they come back undetectable or negative, then I am done testing. And I'm going to breathe a little easier. And if they are negative/undetectable I'm going to stop the worry and the fear of HIV. And instead focus on relieving my stress and investigating solely through a doctor what else could be causing me so much physical grief. Hopefully it will remain good news. I will post the results no matter the outcome. If it is negative I make a promise to do absolutely no internet searches or any perseveration on the matter again. Instead only work with my doctor and believe the results of my tests. I feel happier today, because finally I feel like I've done all I can do at this point.
You're continuing to self diagnose.
The things you're diagnosing yourself with and associating with HIV are things you cannot self diagnose by reading the internet. Plus, like Pink Floyd said above, the conditions you're worried about, when they're related to HIV, occur very late in infection, and usually when a person has transitioned to an AIDS diagnosis. You wouldn't have all of a sudden developed HIV complications months after becoming infected.
The neuro like symptoms you're attributing to PN are often seen in chronic severe anxiety. You really have to STOP searching the web, stop testing for HIV (you don't have it), and start getting some intensive therapy. Otherwise, you're going to stay trapped in this nightmare. We see it every day, all day in the HIV forum.
The things you're diagnosing yourself with and associating with HIV are things you cannot self diagnose by reading the internet. Plus, like Pink Floyd said above, the conditions you're worried about, when they're related to HIV, occur very late in infection, and usually when a person has transitioned to an AIDS diagnosis. You wouldn't have all of a sudden developed HIV complications months after becoming infected.
The neuro like symptoms you're attributing to PN are often seen in chronic severe anxiety. You really have to STOP searching the web, stop testing for HIV (you don't have it), and start getting some intensive therapy. Otherwise, you're going to stay trapped in this nightmare. We see it every day, all day in the HIV forum.
If those symptoms where due to hiv you would have been positive long ago after 6 moths. Hiv does not cause so many problems in just 6 months after infection. Do not get in this situation when you start diagnosing your self with terrible things. Anxiety leads to even more axniety and more axniety leads to more psychosomatic symptoms.If doctors can't diagnose a disease it propably means that you are suffering from anxiety and prolonged fear. Don't do this to your self.Try to talk to a psychologist and you will see that maby all those symptoms will go away the moment you will let all this pain and agony of those months get out of your system by talking to someone who knows how to listen.Try it and you will see.
I'm still lost and helpless. I've figured out it's Peripheral Neuropathy I'm suffering from, and potentially autonomic neuropathy as well. No doctor has diagnosed me, but I have the signs for it. My numbness in my hands and forearms, and feet have not gone away. And it feels like they're on fire at night. Plus the myriad of all my other symptoms are still persisting. Due to having taken so many 4th Generation tests I really feel like if it was HIV-1 doing this then the Antigen portion of that test would have picked it up. I just don't see how after me taking so many of those tests how it could miss it? So I am going tomorrow to have a PCR RNA HIV-2 test conducted. I hear HIV-2 has a lesser viral load, but if my symptoms are due to HIV-2 then my viral load has to be out of control because my body has been getting punked out for nearly 6 months. I'm tired of feeling like this. I need relief, I need this non-sense to stop. I feel like if it's negative or undetectable it will blow my mind, but it's going to bring me closer for peace of mind if it is negative or undetectable. And if it's positive or that it shows some copies, well then finally I'll know. I'll post results when I get them.
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Now that you've tested, MULTIPLE times, with very sensitive tests, you can take that to the bank, even if you had your doubts. You do NOT have HIV.
Quite honestly, I would steer towards more of a psychosomatic illness, considering all of the medical work ups you've had, all with negative or unconcerning results. I know it's HARD to imagine that stress and anxiety would cause so many real physical symptoms, but it absolutely does. Your course pretty much follows along with most of the typical cases of HIV related anxiety. You immediately regretted your sexual encounter, and began associating everything you experienced "symptom"-wise thereafter to somehow being related to that encounter.
A LOT of the symptoms you describe are typically seen with anxiety, and some of the things you've assessed may indeed not really have been an abnormal finding (like your oral symptoms)...but after reading about HIV, you've now begun associating them to HIV (ie the OHL). The mind is a very powerful thing....it's very possible to turn "nothing" into "something" after ruminating and worrying about long enough.
My advice to you would be to stop testing for HIV for starters, you do not need anymore tests. You definitely do NOT have HIV. Continue working with your doctor if you continue having symptoms, but also, get involved in an intense therapy program. You need to start learning how to dismiss some of your anxious thoughts, which isn't easy to do once you're on that roller coaster.
My personal opinion is that you are perfectly healthy, with the main issue being anxiety and stress, which are causing most of your symptoms. I wish you the best of luck moving forward and finding some closure. Let us know how you're doing.