Aa
Im baaaack!
Hi all.. I was an active member on this board back in 2011 when I started my adventures with SSRI's for anxiety - namely Cipralex (Lexapro for my American friends)... In 2012 I felt like he stressors that had me turn to SSRI's had been considerable reduced or eliminated so in July 2012 I weened myself off it after being on Lexapro 15 mgs daily for a year. That process went well and all seemed good going forward.
Here I am one year later with a new set of stressors and all the physical symptoms of anxiety that I recognize oh so well from last time have returned and I am about to go back on Cipralex again.
Has anyone every started an SSRI, gotten off it and then found themselves back on it again? Is the ramp up period different when you go back on it a second time? The 6 weeks ramp up I had last time was tough (I chronicled it daily on this board and almost quit several times) but I stuck it out and everyone was right... everything levelled off. Just wondering if my body will recognize it again and it will be less intense.
Here I am one year later with a new set of stressors and all the physical symptoms of anxiety that I recognize oh so well from last time have returned and I am about to go back on Cipralex again.
Has anyone every started an SSRI, gotten off it and then found themselves back on it again? Is the ramp up period different when you go back on it a second time? The 6 weeks ramp up I had last time was tough (I chronicled it daily on this board and almost quit several times) but I stuck it out and everyone was right... everything levelled off. Just wondering if my body will recognize it again and it will be less intense.
I really like this read. We have all mostly gone throught he process of starting restarting the process of medication. It stinks but we know it will get better! Thanks for sharing!
Sounds like you're still plugging along!
I SO totally can comiserate with the driving anxiety/panic. That's one of the more debilitating aspects of my panic disorder for sure. Like you, I often try to push myself, taking routes that I have had problems with in the past. To this day, if I have to drive outside of my comfort zone, a little farther, or on a route that has made me anxious in the past, I usually take my Ativan about a half hour to an hour before. That's tough if the medication makes you drowsy. For me, it does, but not until much later, and it doesn't affect my ability to drive thank goodness. It definitely helps a good bit.
Just know your limits. You just may not be quite ready to push yourself too far yet. Maybe wait until the Lexapro is working a lot more before you try too much highway driving, or when you DO push yourself, don't do it when you have something important to do (like work)....plan a totally separate trip, where if need be you can go home after and take it easy for a little bit. When there's less pressure, the anxiety won't be as severe. When you're driving on the highway and HAVE to be at work, you know that you don't have the option to cut it short, or flee. Even if we don't ever actually flee, having the option helps to calm us. The more pressure there is, the harder it is.
There is a route for me that is the toughest, I had a massive panic attack sitting in traffic with my kids in the car, and there was just NOWHERE to go. To this day, I have to admit I avoid that road more than not. The conditioning is still very strong, and this was probably about 7 years ago. After I had the PA, I started making myself drive that route once a month, even though I didn't have to go into town. It got a little easier, but tbh, not much. It's very hard to overcome some of these traumatic events. But to keep trying is the way to go. Avoiding it only makes us fear it more.
JG gave you great suggestions. Truly, the more we hunker down and let those feelings of anxiety run their course in the moment, the better it is for us. I know that's not always so easy to do, as the urge to flee the situation gets so strong.
You're doing great buddy! Keep up the great work. It won't be too long now and you should really start to see noticeable improvements, with a lot less ups and downs. I'd say another 3-4 weeks and you'll be noticing significant improvements. I give you so much credit....you're really doing a great job! It's okay to give yourself a pass some days. Set realistic goals and each time you meet one, you'll have that huge sense of accomplishment. Some days it will just be too much, and that's okay. This is a process, and you will have good days and bad ones. The bad ones aren't a set back, they're just part of the process. You reassess, set new goals and try again.
Keep posting!! You know I'm cheering for you!
I SO totally can comiserate with the driving anxiety/panic. That's one of the more debilitating aspects of my panic disorder for sure. Like you, I often try to push myself, taking routes that I have had problems with in the past. To this day, if I have to drive outside of my comfort zone, a little farther, or on a route that has made me anxious in the past, I usually take my Ativan about a half hour to an hour before. That's tough if the medication makes you drowsy. For me, it does, but not until much later, and it doesn't affect my ability to drive thank goodness. It definitely helps a good bit.
Just know your limits. You just may not be quite ready to push yourself too far yet. Maybe wait until the Lexapro is working a lot more before you try too much highway driving, or when you DO push yourself, don't do it when you have something important to do (like work)....plan a totally separate trip, where if need be you can go home after and take it easy for a little bit. When there's less pressure, the anxiety won't be as severe. When you're driving on the highway and HAVE to be at work, you know that you don't have the option to cut it short, or flee. Even if we don't ever actually flee, having the option helps to calm us. The more pressure there is, the harder it is.
There is a route for me that is the toughest, I had a massive panic attack sitting in traffic with my kids in the car, and there was just NOWHERE to go. To this day, I have to admit I avoid that road more than not. The conditioning is still very strong, and this was probably about 7 years ago. After I had the PA, I started making myself drive that route once a month, even though I didn't have to go into town. It got a little easier, but tbh, not much. It's very hard to overcome some of these traumatic events. But to keep trying is the way to go. Avoiding it only makes us fear it more.
JG gave you great suggestions. Truly, the more we hunker down and let those feelings of anxiety run their course in the moment, the better it is for us. I know that's not always so easy to do, as the urge to flee the situation gets so strong.
You're doing great buddy! Keep up the great work. It won't be too long now and you should really start to see noticeable improvements, with a lot less ups and downs. I'd say another 3-4 weeks and you'll be noticing significant improvements. I give you so much credit....you're really doing a great job! It's okay to give yourself a pass some days. Set realistic goals and each time you meet one, you'll have that huge sense of accomplishment. Some days it will just be too much, and that's okay. This is a process, and you will have good days and bad ones. The bad ones aren't a set back, they're just part of the process. You reassess, set new goals and try again.
Keep posting!! You know I'm cheering for you!
Days 20 and 21 ... definitely feeling the increased "jitteryness" now that I have moved from 10mg to 15mg daily of Lexapro. Expected that and so its OK.. will keep steady here for another week and see how it goes. Have kept up my routine of going to the gym and working out throughout all this. To those who may be also ramping up on their SSRI.. try whatever you can to not let it impede your normal activity. I did allow that to happen the first time I was on this and it made me feel awful.. like the meds were taking control. It may be difficult some days but worth it when it comes to feeling that you still in control of your life.
Days 16-19
The last two days have been pretty good. I definitely feel a leveling out happening these past few days. Not as dizzy or edgey.
I upped the dose from 10 MG to 15 MG yesterday and this morning am a bit edgier but not significant. Will stay here for another week and see how it goes. That was my script last time I was on this which I know if very low. I will judge and if need be try going up to 20 MG this time. I am taking the pill in the evening now which I think is helping with the morning edginess and it has not impacted my ability to sleep, in fact I have been sleeping more lately.
The last two days have been pretty good. I definitely feel a leveling out happening these past few days. Not as dizzy or edgey.
I upped the dose from 10 MG to 15 MG yesterday and this morning am a bit edgier but not significant. Will stay here for another week and see how it goes. That was my script last time I was on this which I know if very low. I will judge and if need be try going up to 20 MG this time. I am taking the pill in the evening now which I think is helping with the morning edginess and it has not impacted my ability to sleep, in fact I have been sleeping more lately.
Thanks JG... I will try it.. I have an app on my iPhone that I got last time that helps teach you controlled breathing. Going to start using that again...
Controlled breathing will help during those moments of derealization when you are panicing. Anyway, you are right. You will be better in a few weeks and then I'm sure you can be back on the highway. I just think it is important to learn to treat the whole disorder that's all. Take care.
Day 15 - Yesterday felt edgey pretty much the whole day. Tried driving on the highway and felt a panic attack coming on (see above). Went to the gym and then pretty much spent the whole day with that "I drank too much coffee" feeling. Last night I took my first pill of Lorazapam .5 mg just to see how it would affect me and if it would take the "edge" off. All it really did was make me super tired and I went to sleep and slept for an extra hour more than normal.
Without pinning myself to a timetable, because I know you can't do that with your body, if last time was any indication I have a couple more weeks of this until I "turn the corner" on this ramp up.... in the meantime just have to accept where I am and not let it cripple me in my ability to do my day to day things.
My plan is to go up to my script dose this weekend of 15 mg.
Without pinning myself to a timetable, because I know you can't do that with your body, if last time was any indication I have a couple more weeks of this until I "turn the corner" on this ramp up.... in the meantime just have to accept where I am and not let it cripple me in my ability to do my day to day things.
My plan is to go up to my script dose this weekend of 15 mg.
I hear you but its more than just a little uncomfortable.
I get dizzy and lightheaded, heart starts racing and at that point I am sure my response mechanisms are impacted and therefore I do feel as though it is dangerous. I know I am causing it by worrying about it happening and by tensing up and likely shallow breathing while I am driving.
But when I am on side streets I am generally fine because I know in the back of my mind at any point I can get off.
I also know this is being amplified because I am in the middle of my typical 4 week ramp up on Lexapro during which time my anxiety symptoms are increased. I am trusting once I start to level off this issue will become a non issue. In the meantime, I do feel I should avoid it (I know its giving in but I honestly don't have confidence that when it happens I can keep myself safe on the highway.
It's ridiculous in a way because I have driven these highways every morning and afternoon for over a year with no problem at all.
Anyway.. thanks JG you are absolutely right in what you are saying. And again, because this is my 2nd time at the table I know that and I know this will just be a temporary thing.. that helps big time.
I get dizzy and lightheaded, heart starts racing and at that point I am sure my response mechanisms are impacted and therefore I do feel as though it is dangerous. I know I am causing it by worrying about it happening and by tensing up and likely shallow breathing while I am driving.
But when I am on side streets I am generally fine because I know in the back of my mind at any point I can get off.
I also know this is being amplified because I am in the middle of my typical 4 week ramp up on Lexapro during which time my anxiety symptoms are increased. I am trusting once I start to level off this issue will become a non issue. In the meantime, I do feel I should avoid it (I know its giving in but I honestly don't have confidence that when it happens I can keep myself safe on the highway.
It's ridiculous in a way because I have driven these highways every morning and afternoon for over a year with no problem at all.
Anyway.. thanks JG you are absolutely right in what you are saying. And again, because this is my 2nd time at the table I know that and I know this will just be a temporary thing.. that helps big time.
I have had panic attacks while driving. I do my controlled breathing and I actually self-coach with "Bring it on...I can handle it." What I absolutely do not do is avoid. If it happens on the highway, I'm driving on the highway otherwise you are giving into the anxiety. The times you did panic you were uncomfortable right? You didn't wreck your car or anything like that. Just a little uncomfortable....Bring it on because you can handle it. With that attitude, it usually doesn't come because the fear has been taken out of the thought.
Day 13/14 - Had a great day yesterday, just relaxed around the house did laundry and didn't do much else. Felt really at ease now jitters or lightheadedness. However this morning, Day 14, I was jittery when I woke up and I think it has to do with driving to work. This whole thing re-started by having a panic attack while driving on the highway in the car. This morning I decided to try the highway again (I had been taking side streets since it happened) and I started out ok but about 10-15 mins into it I started to feel it coming on again. Seems to happen when I hit a certain speed (100kms an hour or more) and I get this sense that takes over my whole body. I managed to stop it from proceeding to a level that would have me have to stop and pull over like last time but it is very scarey and uncomfortable.... so its back to side streets for me where it doesnt seem to happen. I guess because I know I can get off anytime if something went wonky whereas far more difficult on a 8 lane highway.
Anyway, hoping this eventually subsides cause trying to get around a city of 6.5 million people and not using highways is not easy. And it only happens when I am driving... when I am in the passenger seat in the front ...nothing... I feel totally fine.
I was thinking I should take the Lorazapam in the morning before I drive but I don't know if it would make me too drousy. Also not a good situation to be in when driving. I am going to take one tonight just to see the effect it has on me.
So strange how this anxiety manifests itself each time.. last time was health anxiety this time it rears its ugly head when I am in the car.
Come on Lexapro.... need you to kick in soon! (I know I still have another two weeks to go but I just thought I would say that)
Anyway, hoping this eventually subsides cause trying to get around a city of 6.5 million people and not using highways is not easy. And it only happens when I am driving... when I am in the passenger seat in the front ...nothing... I feel totally fine.
I was thinking I should take the Lorazapam in the morning before I drive but I don't know if it would make me too drousy. Also not a good situation to be in when driving. I am going to take one tonight just to see the effect it has on me.
So strange how this anxiety manifests itself each time.. last time was health anxiety this time it rears its ugly head when I am in the car.
Come on Lexapro.... need you to kick in soon! (I know I still have another two weeks to go but I just thought I would say that)
Day 12 - Switched the Lexapro to noon and it seemed to work much better for me yesterday morning so today going to take it at 3 PM and then tomorrow at 6. Doesnt seem to affect my ability to sleep... actually sleeping much better than I thought.
Day 11 - Up to 10 MG of Lexapro for 2 days now... definitely feeling the "jitteryness" side effects increase - esp in the morning. I think I am going to swtich the pill to the evening because I find in the morning I am already more jittery to begin with then I go to the gym and get "pumped up" and then I drop the pill - too much "stimulation" all at once. By the time I get to work I am ready to bounce off the walls! ....
2-3 more weeks of this to go before it will all level off.... and again, I know the levelling off will happen so that is a huge asset this time.
2-3 more weeks of this to go before it will all level off.... and again, I know the levelling off will happen so that is a huge asset this time.
AWESOME!!!!!
I think you're going to do just fine. By this point, if you were going to really struggle with the start-up side effects, you would be. I know it's not FREE of symptoms, but you're managing well.
Thanks for the update my friend!!
I think you're going to do just fine. By this point, if you were going to really struggle with the start-up side effects, you would be. I know it's not FREE of symptoms, but you're managing well.
Thanks for the update my friend!!
DAYS 5 - 9 ... took a break from posting for a few days. Everything going pretty much the same with the ramp up process on Lexapro however today (DAY 9) I am upping it to 10 mg dose and will stick with that now for a week or so with the goal of getting up to 15 by end of next week (which is my script dosage).
Have not had to take my Lorazapam as yet to counter the side effects. They are there but seem to be more manageable this time for the most part.
Injured my neck by pushing too much at the gym so that has been an added annoyance these pastfew days.
Anyway...hope everyone is doing well.
Have not had to take my Lorazapam as yet to counter the side effects. They are there but seem to be more manageable this time for the most part.
Injured my neck by pushing too much at the gym so that has been an added annoyance these pastfew days.
Anyway...hope everyone is doing well.
If everything continues like this I am going to try to go up to 10 MG next week and stay there for a week and then back up to 15 mg where I was and see how that goes.
I understand JG what you say about liking yourself better on the meds. I find I am more centered and able to thing logically about things rather than have that clouded with too much emotional response. Not that I remember being void of emotion, its just that it doesnt creep in to where it shouldnt be when I am on the meds...
Onward and upward!
I understand JG what you say about liking yourself better on the meds. I find I am more centered and able to thing logically about things rather than have that clouded with too much emotional response. Not that I remember being void of emotion, its just that it doesnt creep in to where it shouldnt be when I am on the meds...
Onward and upward!
The jittery coffee OD feeling was the one that I had that was most obvious and bothersome. It was also pretty short lived, thank goodness. I even had tremors at times, as though I did drink too much coffee.
Sounds like you're doing great...I wouldn't advise changing a thing...you've got this!
Sounds like you're doing great...I wouldn't advise changing a thing...you've got this!
I chopped bamboo when I was edgy! Got any bamboo around? Sounds like you are doing well. And count me in with the on meds, off meds, and back on meds and planning to stay on them for the rest of my life if possible. I like myself much better on meds and I'm sure my family and friends do too!
DAY 4 - Woke up today feeling pretty great.
Of course a bit edgey still but had a massage yesterday and i don't know what they did but the dizziness is pretty much gone. Best guess, the anxiety was causing my muscles in my neck and back to stiffen up so much that it was causing pressure on the muscle tissues in my head and therefore triggering dizziness. Who knows.. but whatever he did it worked... going for one more tomorrow. The weekend is here and the weather is great here in Toronto, Canada... so all is good!
And just as a final comparitive note.. when I did this last time 2011 I didn't make it past day 3 on 5 mgs of Lexapro without having to scale it back to 2.5 and ramp up super slowly. This time definitely not as bad and haven't had to reach once for my Lorazapam.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Of course a bit edgey still but had a massage yesterday and i don't know what they did but the dizziness is pretty much gone. Best guess, the anxiety was causing my muscles in my neck and back to stiffen up so much that it was causing pressure on the muscle tissues in my head and therefore triggering dizziness. Who knows.. but whatever he did it worked... going for one more tomorrow. The weekend is here and the weather is great here in Toronto, Canada... so all is good!
And just as a final comparitive note.. when I did this last time 2011 I didn't make it past day 3 on 5 mgs of Lexapro without having to scale it back to 2.5 and ramp up super slowly. This time definitely not as bad and haven't had to reach once for my Lorazapam.
Have a great weekend everyone!
DAY 3 - Definitely felt the edginess all day yesterday.
But again, it was familiar so I didn't let it bother me as much but physically it was definitely there. Best way to describe it - felt like I drank 20 coffees (which I am only guessing because I have never done that!) ...
Anyway if you are just starting Lexapro or another SSRI and reading this and going through the same thing with the initial side effects - DONT FREAK OUT! .... sorry I can't say that enough.. because I did the first time I did this two years ago and it made everything 10 times worse. They DO go away once your body says "ok I get it.. you're gonna keep taking these... alright alright.. I will let it in"..
Anyway I will go to the gym this morning and work off some of this excess energy as a result of this.
But again, it was familiar so I didn't let it bother me as much but physically it was definitely there. Best way to describe it - felt like I drank 20 coffees (which I am only guessing because I have never done that!) ...
Anyway if you are just starting Lexapro or another SSRI and reading this and going through the same thing with the initial side effects - DONT FREAK OUT! .... sorry I can't say that enough.. because I did the first time I did this two years ago and it made everything 10 times worse. They DO go away once your body says "ok I get it.. you're gonna keep taking these... alright alright.. I will let it in"..
Anyway I will go to the gym this morning and work off some of this excess energy as a result of this.
I agree with nursegirl that I believe it is a little bit of everything. But had you told me this two years ago when I was just starting this medication for the first time it would have fueled my fire to stop it and never give it a try for fear of becoming dependant on it for the rest of my life. And I believe this is a concern that plagues many people starting this form of treatment. Now, however, I feel completely different about it. People take medication everyday to regulate and control of plethora of physical issues like cholesterol, heart conditions, diabetes, etc and they do it without any guilt at all. Why should this be any different? The Answer... it shouldn't. There are so many people who suffer through anxiety and depression and are terrified of medication because it is an admission that they can't dig themselves out of it by themselves....I was one of them... but now I ask myself can you dig yourself out of diabetes by yourself??? Can you say "screw those pills, I'm going to control my arrythmia by myself".... If you need medication to "center" your emotional reaction to issues so you have a clear head to address them in whatever way you need to address them... then you should pursue that treatment. And if you go off and go back on again... in my book its ok.... life isn't a flat line.. there will be peaks and valleys...
You thing you're sorry, me too. Although I do believe therapy or spiritual help or whatever is the cure if there is one, nothing ever helped me either except meds, and they didn't solve anything, just made it a little more liveable. But given what I've been through, I'd stay on that darned Paxil! Of course, i never intended to necessarily stay off meds, I was just going to experiment and go back on if it didn't work. All for my writing. Now I can't write at all. What you don't know can hurt you, eh?
Good post.
I actually think it's a little bit of all of them, personally....and probably varies from person to person, depending on the amount of work they put in (or not), etc.
I know my panic/anxiety is very cyclic, and I also know that within a few short months of coming off meds each time, my panic returned, often times worse than where it started at.
Actually, in my case, I'd say that the LEAST likely contributing factor for me was the lack of treatment. Despite working VERY hard, learning all I could, and pouring myself into getting better, I had a reemergence of my panic each time. Either the return of the anxiety was severe enough that my normal coping mechanisms just weren't cutting it anymore, or, like you said, I couldn't function without the meds. Everything I did to control anxious moments while ON the meds was FAR less effective off the meds, without a doubt.
I haven't been on a med (other than an occasional PRN Ativan) for many years, and I haven't done too horribly bad. I haven't done too horribly well either. I can say, with confidence, that my anxiety was MUCH better controlled while on meds. I manage, and I do my best, but I notice a difference for sure.
For the reasons you mention, and because SO many people find themselves right back where they started (or worse), I always encourage people who post wanting to come off their meds to REALLY give it some thought.
I honest to God wish I had NEVER gone off the Zoloft I went off to begin with. And, lol, think I would have learned my lesson, I didn't, I did the same thing with my Lexapro a few years later. Dumb me! Every time I see someone post "I want to go off my X med, to see how I do", I cringe and think, "See you in a few months". Really stinks!!
I actually think it's a little bit of all of them, personally....and probably varies from person to person, depending on the amount of work they put in (or not), etc.
I know my panic/anxiety is very cyclic, and I also know that within a few short months of coming off meds each time, my panic returned, often times worse than where it started at.
Actually, in my case, I'd say that the LEAST likely contributing factor for me was the lack of treatment. Despite working VERY hard, learning all I could, and pouring myself into getting better, I had a reemergence of my panic each time. Either the return of the anxiety was severe enough that my normal coping mechanisms just weren't cutting it anymore, or, like you said, I couldn't function without the meds. Everything I did to control anxious moments while ON the meds was FAR less effective off the meds, without a doubt.
I haven't been on a med (other than an occasional PRN Ativan) for many years, and I haven't done too horribly bad. I haven't done too horribly well either. I can say, with confidence, that my anxiety was MUCH better controlled while on meds. I manage, and I do my best, but I notice a difference for sure.
For the reasons you mention, and because SO many people find themselves right back where they started (or worse), I always encourage people who post wanting to come off their meds to REALLY give it some thought.
I honest to God wish I had NEVER gone off the Zoloft I went off to begin with. And, lol, think I would have learned my lesson, I didn't, I did the same thing with my Lexapro a few years later. Dumb me! Every time I see someone post "I want to go off my X med, to see how I do", I cringe and think, "See you in a few months". Really stinks!!
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