I'm feeling so out of it. I'm scared

Hi all.

Haven't posted in a while but had to today. I thought I was doing good for not taking my meds and trying to do this on my own. But for the past couple of days I have been having panic attacks with anxiety on to if it.
Everytime I go to the big stores I panic and have to run out of the store. I mean I fight thru it and get what I need but hunny I tell you if the line is long our the check out people are moving slow I will drop what I have and leave.

Next I went out with my fiance for the first time the other night did well despite what I thought would be a night of panic and shacking. But today for some odd reason I had a panic attack when leaving the house to take my 4 year old to school and headed to work. Out hit me before I left the house. I continued on with my day but it got worst as the time went on. By the end of the night I was crying and shacking and gasping for air my heart was pounding and I could not sleep.  It freaked me out because it was just me and my son. Here alone at home no one to talk to and my son seemed scared I tried to not sure it to him and leave the room but he is very smart and must have sensed something because he followed me into the other room. Saying mommy its ok give me hug. Which made it worst.

Next finally I was able to lay down after my fiance was able to get a break at work and call me he kinda calmed me down. So I took some tylenol pm and was able to get to sleep only to have this dream about me going crazy believing that I became two people and stick in a physyc ward being medicated and acting crazy. I escaped from the hospital and went on a rampage in my dream this man have he ask his money and belongings and then killed him self. Which then switched to a christmas scene and my family was there not knowing that I was this different person inside and then we were having a family shopping time and the hospital people came and took me away while shopping.

This woke me in a very severe panic which brought on anxiety. I felt like I was crazy and dying and now I can't go back yo sleep for not wanting to have these dreams and or feelings.

Idk what I'm asking got I just needed to get that off my chest. My fiance its very helpful and loving and caring and understanding. He really helps me thru this. But it sometimes its hard to speak when I feel this way so I couldn't explain it to him that well tonight. Thanks for listening.

Cntbreal..

[remar]

It can be very hard to talk when your in the middle of a panic attack or you're feeling very anxious. How long have you been off your meds? Are you in therapy? Have things been more stressful lately?

[edgyboy]

I know that feeling in the middle of the night with panic. I've been doing fine myself until the other night. I had this weird dream about a funeral viewing that I went to earlier that day. I woke up with a panic feeling in my stomach and feeling unreal.

This was at 1:30 in the morning. Needless to say, I couldn't get back to sleep. Got out of bed at 6 and went to work feeling weird and stressed.
Last night I fell to sleep on the couch and had the same feeling. I took a xanax and went to bed. Slept a little better.

You have to understand, this is all stress related. I am under alot of stress in work and a little in my personal life. My stress "rain barrel" is over flowing. This brings on panic and anxiety in all of us. You just have to flow with it as best you can. That is what i did the other night. I didnt like it but I just reasoned with it and thought it was only temporary.

[Cntbreal]

I have been off for about a month and a half. It was going good at first til I started doing all the things I stopped doing when my anxiety and panic attacks started. I am in therapy but my therapist actually said that I need a physiatrist because they are like a bandage on a bullet wound. Which made me even more anxious and scared as I am thinking I'm way worst then what they and myself thought.. So I'm in the process of getting appt with physicists.

Things have been a lil more stressful and I know its contributing to my anxiety. But I am trying to keep moving on.. Thanks does replying hun..

[Cntbreal]

Hey hun.. It seems like we are in the same boat. I'm do tired of this its crazy. I know pushing thru is key and not fighting it is also something. I have tried to not let out get me down but how do you ready not let that happen? A and also I have a stress test coming up this monday and from what I have heard its like an anxiety attack st its worst. I'm so scared for it.. Crazy.. Hope you get better hun as I know and am finding out life with anxiety is hella crazy..

Love and rockets edgyboy..

[remar]

Therapists and Psychiatrists are different. Maybe your therapist does'nt feel qualified enough in panic disorders? No, I am not putting any therapist down. Psychiatrists have more training. Don't be scared by what your therapist said, okay.
So you have been under more stress. It makes sense then that your anxiety is back. Have you thought about starting meds again?  

[Cntbreal]

That's what I was thinking about. That my therapist is not qualified enough in anxiety. I have thought about it but my cardiologist scared me. He said that he don't think petiole my she should be on meds because it will make you like a zombi. And I felt as its he was right because I do feel like that on the meds. They bring me way down.. And also my therapist said that maybe I'm not on the right meds and a physicist could give me right mrs. which us what made me stop talking then in the first place.

Also its just he and my son here at home alot by ourselves and I can't take care of him on the meds. This is really hard at times. And I won't say everyday its crazy or full of panic or anxiety because I do have good days and bad. But I tell you the truth when I say. My days are more bad with anxiety and panic the good.

[fnbm]

Hello darling.... im doing all this without meds too. i see a therepist and she is okay. although she does push meds because i seen the psychiatrist in her office and he said meds will help me an prescribed lexapro but imto scared so..... some days are ok an others.... like today suck :( so.... atleast you can be alone with your son. i cant be alone right now. i panic. but i am working on it all and like i said i am having good days now appose to a month ago there was no good days....

[Sagitarius88]

Hey Hun im same as well
Did u see cardio doc? Wot did he say?

[Cntbreal]

Hey him great to great you are finally havering done good days.. Me not so much. Well I have my friend come over everyday whom also deals with anxiety. But is very good at not showing it. I didn't know he had it til we talked about me. But he comes over maybe about six days a week because he knows in do terrified of being alone because I think something is going to happen to new and no one erik be here to help. But once he goes home its ask bad because my fiance don't gets home til after 4am. Its very hard to deal with this.

I'm glad to hear you having more good days then bad. Most of us might not know what good days are any more including you sometimes. But we have great days ahead I think or I'm hoping. Life likethis does stuck big time its so crazy..

[Cntbreal]

I go back this monday for a stress test. He was great to reassure me that it ask seems like anxiety symptoms and not heart problem related. He said that us he sts the heck out of my heart and nothing happens then the reassurance should be enough to get me to stop worrying about my great. And I have to take these muscle relaxers to get my chest to stop hurting. He said if o don't take them for a week straight the pain will keep coming back.

Also he said that people my age should not be taking the meds that I have atleast he don't recommend it because it makes you like a zombie.and you won't beable to function. He stated that reassurance when dealing with anxiety and panic attacks is key to make a person dealing with it feel safe and calm and stop the worrying..

I'm scared as crap to have this test done on monday but I'm going any way.. But all my test came back came back great.. I just heard someone had a heart attack while doing the stress test. And also Heard its worst then having am anxiety or panic attack.

[Sagitarius88]

OMG dat Is scary and rite now m having chest pains and chest tightness it's so bloody scary hun
Wot Is stress check wot they do in it? And why u ve to do it?
Oh i hate anxiety why we r suffering?

[Sagitarius88]

Oh hun m so scared of any pain in my body specially chest n heart area
Asa I ve pain my breathe get shortened
N I dnt want to hear or write heart attack
I dnt kno whether u scared from it or no?

[Cntbreal]

Stress test is when they do a test in your heart. There its two kinds of test they can do. The one I'm having its when you go to the hospital and rhett make you run really fat on a treadmill it stress your heart as far as it can go if you have a heart attack then it was something wrong with your heart of not though are fine.

I have to have one done because I keep having chest pain and palpitations and shortness pix breath. O can't stand anxiety either it really really *****. Its something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy at all..

I feel terrible for anyone who its suffering from this.. I hope and pray we can ask get over this.. Have though read up on anxiety any?? Because there is a web site called anxiety centra ******* go check it it if you haven't yet.. I'm not a member but the information is very helpful..

[phdowl]

I know exactly what you're going through. It's such a horrible feeling. I've been dealing with panic attacks for over 20 years, but they are nothing like they used to be. They were really severe for about a year until I started attacking all of my fears one at a time, without psychological help (which I could not afford at the time). The worst fears were never dealt with, but at least I can have a normal life now. I remember back then looking in the mirror and seeing myself, knowing it was me standing there, but also knowing it wasn't me. I was someone else I didn't know. Only people who have experienced this can understand that feeling of thinking you are going completely crazy. But I assure you, you are not. Your body is simply responding to our human instinct to "fight or flight." So instead of fighting our fears, we go into mental panic to psychologically run from them. This causes all kinds of the physical symptoms we get from panic.  What got me through were a few things I read from books as I was trying to understand my condition. (1) Deep controlled breaths - in through the nose expanding the stomach and not the chest - out through the mouth. (2) Go with the flow - allow your body to go through the physical symptoms of panic. (3) Know that you have already experienced the worst physical symptoms of your panic. (4) Tell whoever you are with (if you trust that person) that you are having an attack and let them know what you need from them (lightly stroking my arm always helped me, could be quiet or talking for you). If you've gotten through it once, you can get through it again. Before you know it, your panic attack is subsiding. It gets easier each time.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Like you, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

[Sagitarius88]

OMG that is scary to ve to check that is there something wrong or no u ve to do this? Why they can't do anything else? I hate running it make my heart pounding n hot n sweat
U sure u WANa do it?

[Cntbreal]

Well I don't think I have to but if something us wrong its best to have it happen it the presence of the cardiologist dr and at the hospital. But they are making sure nothing us wrong and that I'm reassured I'm fine. I have been having lots of chest pains today and yesterday don't know of its because on so worked up about the test tomorrow or just my everyday stress I have been under.. I'm very scared and have been trying to keep busy but of course its not helping.  

[Sagitarius88]

Oh Hun u r brave
I'm so stressed weneva I hear some one died even if I dnt kno who was that person is
I just feel I'm next and that feeling that I'm having rite now as well is very scary
It's like strange feelings in chest and my anxiety thoughts is like to tell me that I'm gonna die any min

[Sagitarius88]

Best of luck for today xxx

[Sagitarius88]

Hey Hun how r u?