Aa
I'm in a really tough place, can you help me?
i was here back in august..and things haven't gotten better.
i switched my therapist, who i really liked because she made feel good about myself and all that nice stuff -- she really seemed to *get* me, she was really smart and insightful. but i didn't think the holistic method was *strong* enough for me. i was also withdrawing from zoloft at the time, so they probably was messing w/ me too.
i started going to a conventional clinic, but the thing is that my "therapist" and i do not click at all. i can't tell her a lot stuff. maybe when i was 12 i would have benefited, but not now. she gives me a different diagnosis every time i go and see her, based on my symptoms. really, my symptoms are caused by my anxiety making me convinced that there all different types of issues with me, and she just plays along and agrees.
and the psychiatrist is a complete a-hole. during our first meeting, he scolded me for feeling afraid of taking medication and asked me "why did you come if you're afraid of medication?" i just wanted to slap him in his ugly face, lol. he barely listened to me, just went off what was on the paper my therapist wrote and asked questions that confused me and he just made me feel like i had no brain in my head. he prescribed me lexapro, which he only gave me because that was all he had samples of. i asked him about two different medications and he just blew me off because i didn't have insurance. i had researched about these 2 particular meds that helped other ppl who went thru the same problems i have, and my mom had to end up calling him. long story short, he gave me the prescription i asked for after but only after my therapist talked to him -- but now i don't know what to do. why couldn't he just give me it the first time? i do not trust him or like him at all. i don't feel safe, i feel scared.
i mean, some days i feel good and nothing bothers me. other days, i go and read ppl's stories about anxiety and i feel depressed for days. i dunno if i need meds or not--some days i feel like i do, some days i don't. i'm scared of taking the medication (even though i asked for it) because i just *am*.
i've had good times...therapy helped turned a lot around for me. true friendship opened all sorts of doors. i feel like sh/t because i'm not at school where i belong and i miss my ex. AND i'm scared of life. i have a lot of spiritual warfare going on.
ANY advice? i know this was a lot i wrote, but i'm in a sad/scary place and i want help. i want to get out but i have no idea how to do it. i feel like i'm definitely regressing, now that i've succumbed to the idea that only meds will help me.
my old therapist was *the bomb* (lol) but i thought i needed meds.
now my new therapist ***** and the psychiatrist is a jerk, and i'm scared of medication.
What am I supposed to do???
I NEED ADVICE. PLEASE. THANK YOU.
i switched my therapist, who i really liked because she made feel good about myself and all that nice stuff -- she really seemed to *get* me, she was really smart and insightful. but i didn't think the holistic method was *strong* enough for me. i was also withdrawing from zoloft at the time, so they probably was messing w/ me too.
i started going to a conventional clinic, but the thing is that my "therapist" and i do not click at all. i can't tell her a lot stuff. maybe when i was 12 i would have benefited, but not now. she gives me a different diagnosis every time i go and see her, based on my symptoms. really, my symptoms are caused by my anxiety making me convinced that there all different types of issues with me, and she just plays along and agrees.
and the psychiatrist is a complete a-hole. during our first meeting, he scolded me for feeling afraid of taking medication and asked me "why did you come if you're afraid of medication?" i just wanted to slap him in his ugly face, lol. he barely listened to me, just went off what was on the paper my therapist wrote and asked questions that confused me and he just made me feel like i had no brain in my head. he prescribed me lexapro, which he only gave me because that was all he had samples of. i asked him about two different medications and he just blew me off because i didn't have insurance. i had researched about these 2 particular meds that helped other ppl who went thru the same problems i have, and my mom had to end up calling him. long story short, he gave me the prescription i asked for after but only after my therapist talked to him -- but now i don't know what to do. why couldn't he just give me it the first time? i do not trust him or like him at all. i don't feel safe, i feel scared.
i mean, some days i feel good and nothing bothers me. other days, i go and read ppl's stories about anxiety and i feel depressed for days. i dunno if i need meds or not--some days i feel like i do, some days i don't. i'm scared of taking the medication (even though i asked for it) because i just *am*.
i've had good times...therapy helped turned a lot around for me. true friendship opened all sorts of doors. i feel like sh/t because i'm not at school where i belong and i miss my ex. AND i'm scared of life. i have a lot of spiritual warfare going on.
ANY advice? i know this was a lot i wrote, but i'm in a sad/scary place and i want help. i want to get out but i have no idea how to do it. i feel like i'm definitely regressing, now that i've succumbed to the idea that only meds will help me.
my old therapist was *the bomb* (lol) but i thought i needed meds.
now my new therapist ***** and the psychiatrist is a jerk, and i'm scared of medication.
What am I supposed to do???
I NEED ADVICE. PLEASE. THANK YOU.
okay been on 10 mgs for 15 days...nothing has really changed, except, strangely i think it helped my indigestion (but it does make my stomach heat up when i'm hungry), and i've had a bigger appetite (which is good for me)...but as far a mood goes, nah, i'm the same....the books my therapist suggested i read have really helped me more than anything else...
i decided to take the Prozac (on day 6) as well as see the therapist who rly helped me. we'll see what happens.
Jasmine, do you have a GP (regular doctor) that you get along with? They can prescribe anti-depressant medication for you, too. You could keep seeing the holistic therapist who "gets you" but have your GP prescribe medication for you. As long as your holistic therapist would be comfortable with that. And it is perfectly fine to walk away from a psychiatrist who is not a good fit for you. I have had two psychiatrists that were lovely, smart, warm people, and two that I saw once or twice and never went back to. You might have a better rapport with a woman.
I remember being scared of antidepressant meds, too. But they have REALLY helped me. I even have a T-shirt with a picture of the chemical serotonin on it! :-) They did not change my personality, just made it so that I didn't feel so bad all the time. And you can always try meds for a month, and if they're not for you, taper off of them.
I remember being scared of antidepressant meds, too. But they have REALLY helped me. I even have a T-shirt with a picture of the chemical serotonin on it! :-) They did not change my personality, just made it so that I didn't feel so bad all the time. And you can always try meds for a month, and if they're not for you, taper off of them.
omg i wish i could hug you...your answers brightened my day...thanx so much...i'm gonna call her soon..gonna talk to my mom first...yeah...thanks :)
You know what you want. Now go get her back. You seemed to work well together and that helps a lot. It is all about trust and understanding. The two of you had that. That makes for the best kind of theraphy. Kick the other idiot to the curb. You don't need him messing with your head. Go with what you know is right for you. We have to look after ourselves. That is all you will be doing.
hey...thanx for answering...i rly appreciate that you read all of that. i'm glad you understand. yes, i'm really gonna quit reading other ppl's stories--because i REALLY do absorb it and it *****. it actually is part of the reason i feel like garbage.
i just wanna talk to my old therapist and see her again. she actually cared about me, and i felt it was genuine. i felt like i was talking to an old friend. i only had 3 or 4 sessions with her, and we didn't get to my obsessive thoughts yet--that's what's causing me anxiety now. i wish i could just have a dream that told me what to do because my instincts don't even know anymore. looks like i'm just gonna have to risk it...but which one? i don't even know.
i just wanna talk to my old therapist and see her again. she actually cared about me, and i felt it was genuine. i felt like i was talking to an old friend. i only had 3 or 4 sessions with her, and we didn't get to my obsessive thoughts yet--that's what's causing me anxiety now. i wish i could just have a dream that told me what to do because my instincts don't even know anymore. looks like i'm just gonna have to risk it...but which one? i don't even know.
Clinics are all the same. From country to country. They come with little snotty nosed shrinks who think they know it all. When really they are in a clinic because they are just learning their trade. Other than that they would be off working in a fancy office and have a private practice. It is a bit like a revolving door system. Here in Ireland it is a shambles. You queue for an hour to be seen for five minutes. They ask you how you are. Not matter what you say to them, the answer is always ' take these and come back in a month '. They don't help. That is the simple truth here in Ireland. So I avoid clinics. Big time. At first I used to go. But like you said, they listen a bit and give you a different answer every time. Making you feel like you have everything under the sun. I can't tell you the amount of conditions they said I had. But what happens over here is that the shrinks change nearly every visit. So you will most likely see a different one second time round. And you always have to begin at the start again. I used to hate that. I was always in trouble with them. For telling them to read my file, that it was all in there. I was fed up going over and over the same things with the new shrink each visit. Just like over there, they only ever seemed to have one sort of medication too. I was convinced they were sponsored to give them out to patients. No matter what you had you were given the same tablet. From a depressive to an anxiety sufferer. It was a joke. So I know where you are coming from. It is as if they don't hear you. Or don't want to hear you. They know it all already. Bloody pain is what it really used to be here.
First off I would suggest you stop reading about other people's woes. You seem to be taken them on board and they are depressing you even more. Do like most of us do here on the forum. We can read a post. We can reply. But we don't have to take the person's problem on board with us. Once we answer the post we have done our bit. In other posts I may not have an answer so I ignore the post. It simply isn't for me. I will let others deal with those posts.
Medication scares people. A lot of people. Not just you. Some worry about side effects. Some worry about addiction. Others about changes the medication might make to them. ( In the mental sense ) I never trusted medication at all. Took me years to even try some out. The one thing you must be aware of is that you are in full control. If you do take something and you feel bad on it, you can stop it. You do have a choice. No matter what your shrink says. We'll get to the shrink in a minute. But try something out. See how it goes. From what you wrote it appears more like mood swings than anything else. Good for a few days. Then down for a few days. To get a balance on that using medication might be hard. Some days you mightn't need the medication. So maybe ask for medication that can be taken if needed. Not sure if they have that for depression? Loads of it for anxiety.
The jerk. I mean the shrink. Let him know you are there. Don't be afraid to disagree with him. It might dent his ego a bit. But who really cares? He just seems like he wants to be in full control. Take control away from you. In other words ' he is the boss '. Forget that. He is there to listen. Not sure how straight forward of a person you are? But if it was me I would let him know what I imagined he was there for. To listen to me. To take on board what I am saying. Not imagine he knows everything about you. It's good to be bad at times. I don't suppose you can find another shrink? This is what lack of issurance does? Sticks you with the biggest jerk in the world.
Just keep the head up for now. Know that you are not alone. You have a forum behind you. I am sure others will offer advise too.
First off I would suggest you stop reading about other people's woes. You seem to be taken them on board and they are depressing you even more. Do like most of us do here on the forum. We can read a post. We can reply. But we don't have to take the person's problem on board with us. Once we answer the post we have done our bit. In other posts I may not have an answer so I ignore the post. It simply isn't for me. I will let others deal with those posts.
Medication scares people. A lot of people. Not just you. Some worry about side effects. Some worry about addiction. Others about changes the medication might make to them. ( In the mental sense ) I never trusted medication at all. Took me years to even try some out. The one thing you must be aware of is that you are in full control. If you do take something and you feel bad on it, you can stop it. You do have a choice. No matter what your shrink says. We'll get to the shrink in a minute. But try something out. See how it goes. From what you wrote it appears more like mood swings than anything else. Good for a few days. Then down for a few days. To get a balance on that using medication might be hard. Some days you mightn't need the medication. So maybe ask for medication that can be taken if needed. Not sure if they have that for depression? Loads of it for anxiety.
The jerk. I mean the shrink. Let him know you are there. Don't be afraid to disagree with him. It might dent his ego a bit. But who really cares? He just seems like he wants to be in full control. Take control away from you. In other words ' he is the boss '. Forget that. He is there to listen. Not sure how straight forward of a person you are? But if it was me I would let him know what I imagined he was there for. To listen to me. To take on board what I am saying. Not imagine he knows everything about you. It's good to be bad at times. I don't suppose you can find another shrink? This is what lack of issurance does? Sticks you with the biggest jerk in the world.
Just keep the head up for now. Know that you are not alone. You have a forum behind you. I am sure others will offer advise too.
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