I'm still not convinced about my condition..........

[drdigital]

Hello all! Firstly let me give you a small history about my case. I suffer from an eating disorder (Bulimia Nervosa) for the last couple of years. My weight dropped from 75kgs to 55kgs in a very short time. I'm always obsessed about food, calories and weight. 4 months back i started experiencing shortness of breath, which was very mild, so i din pay much attention to it....my eating habits went crazy for the last 2 months. I just stopped keeping anything down, i was literally throwing-up all day. it was due to the stress at uni. i just could'nt handle it and by this time, the shortness of breath became very prominent. i was yawning all the time to get oxygen and it was causing discomfort. I was positive that it was due to my eating disorder. Recently I saw my friend (who was obese) drop dead due to breathing difficulty. The last word she uttered was "I CANT BREATH"..... After this incident i started going paranoid. I was very sure that i was gonna die the same way.

[drdigital]

cont..........

15 days back, I had my first panic attack. I live alone, so theres absolutely no one to help me if anything goes wrong. I suffered extreme shortness of breath and i called my friend, while explaining, my body began to trmble. I hung up and just tried to calm down.......no releif. My heart was pounding.....i was feeleing extremelycold, so i thot i'll take a walk...I then realised my feet wouldnt move. It was a nightmare. I thot i was gonna die. I din sleep the whole night. I rushed to the ER the next day..........i was thinking i messed up my respiratory sytem from all the abuse. My heart-rate was high and my BP was extremely low. My blood work came out normal. The doc din find any problem. I still was nt convinced. So i went to another doc, same results.......5 docs in 5 days.....ECG, serum electrolytes, blood sugar, chest x-ray......everything NORMAL......

I've stopped throwing-up cuz i'm too scared to do it.....I've stopped eating cuz i'm too scared tht i'd gain weight...I'm constantly depressed cuz i'm not able to eat what i want....the thoughts are soo overwhelming tht i'm not able to concentrate on my studies and now i'm panicking cuz my exams r just a week away. I'm searching for every condition, every disease online.....I'm still not convinced tht its entirely anxiety. I took an emergency contraceptive last month....my cycles are never regular... My life is a big mess. PLS help me......

I'm sorry for the long entry......

[suzi-q]

Do not apologize...you say everything that you need to say.  I am glad that you went to doctors and got complete work-ups to make sure you are physically fine....The next step is to get to a psychiatrist.  It seems that you may suffer from Depression/Anxiety disorder along with your eating disorder.  Are you feeling nausous or are you just not eating because of your fear of getting fat?  Either case, you need to get help and you should do it now. These disorders may not kill you, but they can ruin your life just the same.  You CAN feel better.  You just need help.  You CAN beat this!  Please keep us posted!!

[Pum]

There is light at the end of the tunnel and you will feel better.... but you are going to have to make some lifestyle changes, like eating for a start.  If you can't do this on your own you will need some help.  A friend or a trusted doctor maybe.  Tell your doctor everything and see then try to follow through on their suggestions (most likely eat better, exercise, and maybe some medication).

Good luck.

[drdigital]

Thankyou soo much for all those nice words. The reason i don eat is cuz i have a distorted body image. eventhough my weight is lower than normal, i see myself as "fat". I just cant get rid of the feeling. Losing weight has become kind of coping mechanism....and i donno for what!!! i just feel good.

I have never been to a psychiatrist and i'd also like to mention that my ED has not been medically diagnosed. I live in India, and in my country, one visit to a psychiatrist is good enough to label u as "mad". I understand how ridiculous it is, but not many ppl do... I work in a hospital, where i'm also doing my masters. Thankfully all my clinical tests have been covered under medicare and i don have to spend any money. If I have to visit a psychiatrist, it should be from my own hosp cuz mine is a university town and theres no other hospitals close by, so that would be a problem for me, cuz i'm paranoid about my colleagues coming to know about my condition. I'm helpless.........I guess i'll have to fight it all by myself, or wait till hell breaks lose!!!!

[suzi-q]

There are some very good books out there to help you deal with your anxiety.  I just ordered the Linden Method.  It is pricey but I heard it helps.  I will post with my review once I begin the program.  I ordered it on Amazon.com  there is also the book called "DON'T PANIC" which my therapist recommended to me and the ANXIETY AND PHOBIA WORKBOOK.  I am sorry about your situation.  It is a shame that a society still has such old beliefs.  Many people here in the States still feel that if you go to a Psychiatrist that you must be crazy...thank goodness, however, the doctors don't!!!!!

[Chelseav1258]

You know what, I am going through exactly the same EXACT situation you are going through. The only problem is that i have gone a psychatrist and Psychologist.. in which they have perscribed me medication, but I just cant do it. I have also gone into in-patient and out-patient program.. I dont know what to do. Today, I had a real eye opener because I couldnt breathe properly.. I keep yawning to get my breath..What do i DO>