Is it anxiety and/or depression?

[ChannahBracha]

I have lately been feeling that I am sinking into a depression along w/ my anxiety. I was on Clonipin but my pain doc won't allow it! I've been waking up feeling VERY anxious for no reason.....just a general paranoia that I can't put my finger on. I really don't want to be on antidepressants and I'm waiting for a counseling appt. Why am I feeling like this?? What will help?  Shalom, Channah

[Paxiled]

Read your profile.  You've been in pain awhile, are you on pain meds?  Have there been any changes in them recently?  Have you been unable to work, or are you facing retirement?  Has your family situation changed?  What I'm getting at is there might be a trigger to this if you can find it.  It also could be something physiological that's new not involving your pain issues.  Medication used for chronic pain can cause emotional problems and nutritional deficiencies.  Are you able to exercise at all to burn some of this off?  The suggestion above to meditate is a good one; so might be hypnosis, as it also has been found to help with chronic pain.  I feel you -- I'm 65, and I'm also suffering from chronic pain, but in my case I don't know why because I've been an anxiety sufferer for years and the medication for it turned out bad for me, an unusual thing to happen.  But I think when we get to our age (your profile says you're 63), it becomes harder to see things ever resolving.  That can also be a trigger; it's driving me nuts because exercise has been the only thing I've been able to do that's fun and I'm now hurting everywhere.  Again, I'm looking for triggers for you.  Also, the Shalom suggests you belong to a faith community, do you have one you can go to for support?  As for what to do, therapy is a good start, but if this gets out of hand your therapist is going to suggest medication.  Be ready for that possibility.  

[ChannahBracha]

I have an appt. with my psyc. doc in a week from Weds I have been on SSI Disability since '98, so no, I do not work. I broke my hip in 2009 and have been on pain meds ever since. (Morphine & Oxycodone) The only exercise I can tolerate is spinning on my bike on a stationary trainer. I used to be quite the athlete until '98 when I injured my leg and hand after a crush injury following an O.D. That's all resolved since then and I am no longer suicidal. Now, I just have my hip pain issue and it's getting worse. I hate to have to get a hip replacement and lose mobility! It all scares me and that's why I have such anxiety. I understand that the anxiety can lead to depression and I've been there before. I'm trying not to let it all get me down and hopefully my psyc. doc can help me avoid that w/out antidepressents. And, yes, I do have my faith, Judaism, but I don't get to go to services very often because I have to get a ride from a friend when she goes. I go to a fledgling Synagogue that doesn't even have it's own building yet but it is in progress. We meet in the back of a UPS store. LOL It's a small congregation and since I don't get there very often, I don't know most of the people; just my one friend that I ride with.   Thankyou for answering me and for your concern. ;-) Shalom, Channah

[Paxiled]

I'm even worse -- I was born into the same faith but just don't find religion all that helpful, but it does help many people.  I also go to a tiny congregation that seldom has services.  They meet in a Unitarian Church.  I liked Buddhism more when I did that for awhile -- more practical!  But you know, we are what we are.  But meditation was very helpful for me until medication messed me up in an odd reaction, and a lot of psychology is based on Eastern religions.  I used to see a hypnotist and he specialized in treating pain, so I know it works for some people really well.  In your case, if you do need hip surgery, I know it has its risks but those pain meds can cause depression and after awhile they just don't work as well anymore.  My anxiety is untreatable, so I have no idea how to get to facing down more medical stuff -- I've been worn out by a lot of really bad doctoring and dentistry, just hit a streak of bad luck after a largely lucky life before that.  Interesting enough, my last therapist retired because she needed hip surgery and it was a good time for her to get it -- she was an avid hiker and very much wanted to get back to it.  I don't know how it went, but this is how those without anxiety act -- they take their chances so they can enjoy their lives, assuming things work out.  Anxious people avoid, and nothing changes.  Good luck to you.  Keep in touch if you want, we're close in age so we might understand one another a bit.

[ChannahBracha]

My anxiety seems to have let up some. In the past week I've been concentrating on weaning off my pain meds. I wasn't taking them as much as prescribed anyway and now I'm down to 2.5mg oxycodone 3-4x/day with no WD symptoms except for feeling very hot when I need a dose. Even those very small doses help and if it's just psychological, so be it. I'm feeling much better physically and hope to be able to get back to excercising soon.......my bike on the trainer, floor exercises and free weights. I HATE what's become of my body and even though I'm 5'4" and 101.4 lbs, I see myself as GROSS!!! Sooooo much more flab and little muscle. I need to walk, too, to build up my hip that was broken and has 2 pins. I live in Fla. and it is SO hot here I can hardly stand to go outside. I attribute much of that to my opiate intake and as soon as I can get that s@#t out of my system I should not have such a problem. The pain? Yes, it's there but I'm taking Ibuprofen and what it doesn't help, I'll just bear it! We'll see what the shrink says next Weds. 7-18. I have "rage" issues too where I just get out of hand with anger and I feel like I'm just going to explode!! That sucks!!! I NEED to have physical activity and lately all I do is sit indoors and watch TV. Not good! Thanx, Mazel Tov ;-) Channah

[ChannahBracha]

I am just SO thrilled today after getting on the scale!!! I've broken the double digits: 99 lbs!! That makes me very happy and really relieves my anxiety! I failed to tell you that much of my anxiety is associated with my weight. No, I am not anorexic and I never get too low. Right now I need to concentrate on building up some muscle and every day I am feeling better so maybe today I will get in a small workout. The pain drugs are getting out of my system now, finally!! Yes, I have pain but I think I can deal w/ it. I've been on the drugs for so long I've lost touch w/ just what pain I have and how bad it is. Hmmmm....not too bad I must say! Whew! I had a chance to go to Shul yesterday but wasn't quite feeling up to it and now I may not have another chance for weeks unless I take Uber to get there. My natural blond hair kind of makes me stick out......or at least I feel that way. So, you say you are Jewish but you don't care for it? Maybe you just aren't in w/ the right people? I am a Chabad Jew and they tend to be rather orthodox, but not so much where I go. My Rabbi does walk to shul w/ his 3 sons. They always have a nice luncheon after services and since it's such a small group, we only fill up like two long tables. Maybe about 20 people. I like it and I must say that I am a Jew for Judaism. Do you light candles for Shabbat? I do so, faithfully even though I can't afford to buy Challah. I used to make it every week but it got too tedious along w/ the Cholent......vegetarian style. ;-) Let me hear from you. OK? Shalom Aleichem and Shavua Tov,   Channah

[Paxiled]

If you're Chabad you're a lot more Jewish than I ever was -- I was raised Reformed and when I go to services now it's Reconstructionist.   No, don't observe the Sabbath.  I have a mixed relationship with religion -- to me they are all great fictions stories, and as someone who has written some novels and hoped to be a writer, I can appreciate the creativity that goes into a great mythology.  But I tend to borrow from different religions and have as much Buddhist belief as I do Jewish.  Once born Jewish and raised that way I will always be Jewish, but I'm just someone who doesn't take religion as seriously as others and realize they are all double-edged, having caused more harm than they've done good.  Until Paxil destroyed my brain I looked for the good in them and also the bad to try to prevent that part of them from recurring in what little ways I was able to do that.  But again, I will always be Jewish, and a big part of that is when you belong to a people others have tried to eliminate from the face of the Earth, I will never deny that part of me.  But religion is mostly an accident for most of us -- if we were born to the couple next door we'd be a different religion and be just as attached to that one.  Only converts truly choose.  There are so many peoples and so many belief systems and all have the same ability to reason and the same ability to imagine, so it's just not possible for the person I am to believe one side is right and everyone else is wrong, so I side with everyone is a little bit right and a lot wrong and we have a lot of work to do to get better -- which is, of course, a very Jewish point of view.  See?  It's a hard thing to escape, even though my rational self says atheists are probably right.  So not too much ritual in my life but when the High Holy Days and Passover come, for those I go the whole nine yards.  The rest of the year, not so much.  And Challah isn't good for you anyway -- high in sugar and simple carbs.  Truly, haven't had a good one since my Dad's Mom died a million years ago.  And Challah has nothing to do with Shabat -- it's an eastern European thing, really, not a Hebrew thing.  They probably ate something more like pita bread in the olden days.  I'm glad you're making so much progress!  I'm regressing -- stopped exercising completely.  My opiates were hours of physical therapy and hard exercise every day and I'm broken to shreds now from it.  I have to get this hip bursitis, or at least I think that's it, to go away so I'm now resting.  It's been so rough since stopping that drug wrecked me.  So I get pain.  I don't do scales, but I'm a guy, we just look to see if our belly is getting bigger -- says more than a scale does.  Make sure you don't eat so little you don't get all the nutrients you need.  Shalom.

[ChannahBracha]

I'm sorry to hear the Paxil messed you up so much! I was once on it, too and had bad WD's!!! I can sympathize w/you on that. My Sig. other was given a script for it recently and I talked him out of taking it. He has IBS and was having anxiety over it since it is new for him. Our same primary Doc gave ME a script for Prozac last week and I threw it away! For one thing, it makes you gain weight. NO way Jose!! That alone would spike my anxiety! As far as the Judaism goes, I am really a "B'nai Noah" in the process of converting. I don't take what they teach literally but more as "stories" used to convey a point. .......All w/ a grain of salt. I try to keep Shabbat but never do so completely; like I use electricity but I do stay w/in the "Eruv" of my apt. complex and I do no work or handle money. My Rabbi does frown on us riding in cars to get to Shul but most of us have no other way. He has told me that I needed to move closer. Not likely!! It's tough living in an apt. and hiding ducks from the management! There aren't many ducks left around here since they ran a "pogrom" on them much to my great angst over just WHAT they were going to do w/ them!        My opiate detox is going ok except that I'm having great issues w/ feeling over heated even in the AC. I live in N. Fla. and it's hot as FIRE outside so I don't go out unless I absolutely have to. I'm still taking minute amounts of oxycodone.....like 1/4 of a 10mg. tab. Hopefully today I can stop that, too. Yes, I am having much pain but I'm using "Flector" patches on my hip that are an Rx, and taking 800mg Ibuprofen. *sigh* I really want to start back excercising......maybe today??  Oh, about the eating and nutrients; I'm very careful to get just what I need even though I'm vegetarian. I tried Vegan but just couldn't cut it!  Well, I hope your hip isn't feeling too bad and you'll get to exercise, too. ;-) Shalom, Channah (Noahide Ger)

[Paxiled]

Seriously, you both need a new doctor.  Doesn't know his meds at all.  Paxil for IBS?  That's grounds for malpractice alone.  But you do realize not everyone gains weight on Prozac -- some do, some don't.  Only one I gained on was Paxil.  But if we're going to continue this, you'll have to private message me.  MedHelp doesn't look fondly on people conversing on threads.  Hasn't helped me any, but a lot of people find turmeric and ginger to be as good for inflammation as drugs, and both hypnosis and acupuncture have helped a lot of people get off the opiates (so has pot).

[ChannahBracha]

Every time I go to sleep I have some sort of "nightmare", much of which I don't remember but upon waking I'm panicked and hyperventilating.  Today I took an afternoon nap and had one of these. Shortly after waking up I noticed a terrible bruise to my upper right arm........MY finger marks exactly!! In my sleep I had obviously squeezed the heck out of my arm! WHY??? I took pics to show my psyc. whom I'll call tmw. I'm scared to say the least. Am I attacking myself? Or was it a fear response? I haven't changed meds. and no aspirin either which increases bruising. I've been really irritable lately and little things get on my nreves. WTH?? Channah (Is there anywhere that I can post the pic?...My profile?)

[ChannahBracha]

I was able to post the pic of my finger-print bruise I gave myself today in my sleep. This is just WEIRD!......Scary!

[Paxiled]

You say you're tapering off your pain meds, is that right?  Have these nightmares started since you started cutting back?

[AnxiousNoMore]

Anxiety and depression go hand in hand feeding off each other in a vicious circle and escalating the problem so it can be impossible for the poor victim to figure what is the problem. Both may be a problem. For example if you have a health issue it gets depressing being sick all the time which causes the anxiety to increase which makes the dep worse because life is even more miserable. Etc.
You say there is no reason for the panic which can happen too, however if you can find something interesting to occupy your mind it may help. Meditation, philosophy, volunteering are possibilities while you wait for therapy. How long do you have to wait?

[ChannahBracha]

Thanx for your response.  Yes, I do have a chronic pain issue from breaking my hip which has pins in it. I do take pain meds; morphine (long acting) and oxycodone, (short acting). Last night I had a panic in my sleep and had to be awakened because I was "whimpering". I have an appt. w/ my psychiatrist on the 18th, a full week from this Weds. To make matters worse, late today I began having a greater issue w/ my hip and tmw I will call my Ortho. doc for an appt. I'm sure this issue is making matters worse because it's scaring me! I don't want to have to have a hip replacement! I already have a complete shoulder replacement but it is OK and causes me no problem. Losing any mobility scares me ! I'm hoping my psyc. doc will be able to help me and my ortho. doc, too. Even though I've taken my pain meds, I'm still having pain and the way my hip is popping and grinding is scaring me quite a bit. Wish me luck! (Mazel tov).     Shalom, Channah