Job interview tomorrow and other issues

[Alisonj29]

My husband and I were both working at the same place last year. We both got laid off in November. I havent been able to work in a long time before that job as my anxiety was horrible. I think working with my husband every day was what made me capable of being able to do it. Tomorrow I have a job interview and it isnt going to be working with my husband. I am terrified. I feel sick at the idea of having to go and be without him all day and with strangers. I am extremely co-dependent. We have always been around each other. I dont even like it when he is gone for more than 20 minutes. My anxiety is skyrocketing about this and I really want to be rational. There is a chance that we both could go back to our old job and work together but there is no guarantee and our boss was a complete jerk and treated us horrible. Everyone is counting on me tomorrow for this interview and I dont know what to do. I am going to go but I really really dont want to take it. I am petrified. I know its time I grow up and learn to be independent but I cant rationalize that right now. Any advice or suggestions are greatly welcome!

[Alisonj29]

I did use mantras! I wasnt even really anxious. I was almost late because there was a tractor trailer going sooooo slow in front of me but once I got there I was absolutely fine! Now I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I dont have to go back to my horrible boss!!!!!!
Thank you all for your support, I might need it again in March before I start!! lol

[worrydsik]

Yeah!!!  I am soooo happy for you!!!  You should be so proud of yourself!!!

[DJ873]

whootwhoot! the sky didn't fall did you use the mantras? how was your anxiety??? im so proudddd of you anxiety sista!

[Alisonj29]

I got the job!!!!! I will be working at the winery by March!! Thank you all so much

[DJ873]

so so so how did it go????

[Alisonj29]

Thanks so much!

[jlroesner]

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow!  Keep your head up, act stronger than you feel.  Sometimes if it's a super-stressful situation I just pretend that I am an actress in a play.  But, gosh, Mammo and DJ are so wise!  I just wanted to send positive thoughts your way!

[Alisonj29]

You are all fantastic! I actually feel a weight lifted off me. You are all so true in this being a step in getting the independence I need. I was on my own at 15 so I was independent at a very young age for a long time so once I had someone in my life I became clung on tight! I am going to post my affirmations and go to this interview with my head held high and hopefully everything will work out.
Thank you all so much

[DJ873]

did you post your affirmations??? remember we don't have to believe them for your body to react positively. No matter what happens I'll handle it" I am strong, if i can't do it that is ok i will handle it but i will go and see how it goes, an interview is great practice to use panic relief tools so i will just take this baby step and see how it goes, I am powerful, i can see the bees around me but to stay in the present is to not get stung lol, i will not add the pressure to myself that i "need, have to, am responsible" and enter that trap. The world won't end it i cant do this, i hope i can, i will try, but if i can't i will be ok with that decision. I am smart!! I am strong!!! I will handle it! I am excited to try my wings, find peace in whatever decision you make, my thoughts are with ya!!! show me how its done lol

[mammo]

Hi.  Job interviews are scary for everyone, but I understand why it's more so for you.  What has helped me in the past to become more independent is to think "what if I had no choice but to be on my own," at least right now your husband is just a phone call away, try and find some comfort in that.  Keep in your mind that you can walk out of that job any time you want, so long as this is an option, you won't feel trapped there.  This is a good opportunity to learn to be less co-dependent, but I know this is easier said than done.  Jobs are hard to come by, and I'd hate to see you miss out on this opportunity. If you get the job, hopefully you will be so immersed in learning all about it that you won't have time to dwell on your husband not being there.  Maybe ask him to keep his cell phone close by so the two of you can text should you need some reassurance.  I lost all my family when I was very young and wondered how I'd ever make it without them.  Then I thought about orphans who have to make it without family, and it gave me the courage to at least try, and I just took it one day....no one hour at a time until I became more confident.  I know it sounds silly, but whatever works for us!  You definitely don't want to go back and work for that jerk of a boss you had before and this is a way out.  The strangers at work can quickly become friends and often like family.  Just keep in your mind that you are in control of this situation, give it your best shot and see what happens, it may be a big positive step for you, but if not.....don't beat yourself up!  But just think of what a milestone this will be should you get the job and are able to do it!  What an exciting thing to happen for you!!!  Maybe ask your husband to take you and pick you up, even meet you for lunch, so you can gradually get used to it. This will give you some comfort in knowing he's close by and you'll see him before, during and after work. If you can't do it, that's okay, but get into some therapy for this, so you can get your independence back.  All you can do is try, and the world won't end if you can't do it, so try not to put so much pressure on yourself.
I hope this helps, and sure wish you all the best!

[worrydsik]

My advice....times are tough..you may have to tough this one out if your family needs the money...Are you currently in therapy for your codependancy?? I think you should use this as a stepping stone to become more independent..I understand you may be frightened and anxious as we all are..But I've learned in recent months that only way to overcome fears and anxiety is to face them head on..feel the fear, experience it and push through in spite of it..you will be so proud of yourself when you succeed!!! Good luck and let us know what happens!!!