Hey guys I'm new here just made an account, anyways I was just hoping to talk to some people going through the same thing I am.
Ok So about 8-9 months ago I started trippin on acid pretty frequently...In all I dosed 12-15 times. Everytime was amazing no tension no negative feelings just really great experiences. Well after about 1 1/2 monts of trippin or so my guy ran out of doses and I took a break for a couple of weeks until one of my highschool buddies hit me up and told me he found some doses. Basically...it was a terrible I believe the doses he got were a lot more impure than the ones I had been previously getting and I just felt a lot of tension, couldn't really have conversation, felt nervous, just a lot of bad stuff. A couple weeks later he came across some more and I decided to give it a go to try to shake the last bad one. Well...same thing lots of negative emotion, tension, stuttering, all that stuff.
Ok so now Idk if I would necessarily call it anxiety but I just feel weird a lot of times. I'm a lot more sensitive to every state of mind I have...If I stay up to late at night I'll start to feel really strung out and loopy and if I don't get a good night of rest it seems like I'm just out of my mind the next day. Also, I smoked a ton of bud daily for about a year and now whenever I smoke I get really closed off and can't really have normal conversation with people...it *****. Smoking makes me really nervous and gives me a ton of tension now. I haven't dosed in a while and was making pretty good recovery progress but I went to a rave last week and took some X and that seemed to bring all the problems right back. I'm deciding now to take a break from all drugs for the summer and really focus on getting my head straight. I'm just really worried, I don't wanna be around my family acting all strung out all the time it'll break their hearts.
I guess I'm just looking to talk to some people going through similar things. I'm also curious as to whether or not anyone's had to stop smoking cause of LSD...I don't care much about other drugs but I really wanna be able to smoke and chill out with my friends again one day.
I remember doing LSD back when I was 17.. I would get drunk...smoke some budd while taking LSD.. it was a trip! I would get.. I guess you can call it paranoid..I would get freaked out easily.. but I guess since you took it so many times it affected your mind a bet to where it needs to go back to normal routine once laid off from drugs.. I didn't stop smoking but I stopped LSD because it was way too trippy..As soon someone mentions, "Do you see that cat..did you see that shadow?" Then I be like "umm no...wait..wait.. I see it too!" Only because they mention it then I trip out and see it too even though nothing was there..idk haha it's weird..
This is actually a pretty common occurence. If you search our forum for similar threads, you'll find a lot of people have gone thru the same thing after using various drugs. Therer is another new thread just posted today about the same thing. There is one (older) thread in particular about LSD that pops up all the time, there is a lot of info in that thread I think you'll find helpful.
What you must remember is the actual drug did not CAUSE your anxiety, but rather the feelings you experienced triggered it, and now you are left stuck in an anxiety cycle. That's why as soon as you did it again, you felt anxious. It may have been the best "stuff" in the world, but you had predisposed yourself to the anxiety...you were expecting it, and it happened. That's also why you continue to feel anxious despite not using any drugs at this point. You are now experiencing the anxiety cycle of thinking/worrying.
The best thing to do here is obvious. Stay away from any drug (even alcohol) for now. For good would be better, but right now is a must. Secondly, you may need to talk about this with a therapist who can help you learn a bit more about anxiety and how to cope with it so you can break that cycle.
I'm going to look for the other thread I was talking about...I think reading that would put a lot in perspective and there is a lot of great advice on that thread.
The second time I ever smoked pot, I smoked quite a bit, way too much for someone who was new to it, and I had panic and paranoia so bad I thought I was dying. At that point (12 years old, young I know), I had never had a panic attack, so having this horrible one while under the influence was terrifying, I didn't know what it was. I didn't smoke it again for years, and nearly everytime I tried it, I got the same result. About a year after that first "freak out", I started having panic attacks. I didn't know what they were, I thought I was having flashbacks and the marijuana had messed me up permanently. I didn't realize until years later that all marijuana did was trigger my anxiety, not cause it. We have many stories on here like nursegirl said, of drugs sort of "activating" someone's anxiety. It seems drugs and alcohol are the worst things we with anxiety can put into our system. Not only does it usually make it worse (alcohol for example can affect people with anxiety for DAYS after consumption, even if it's just a little), but also we with anxiety are statistically more prone to self-medicate and abuse drugs and alcohol. I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict, so I've seen this first hand. I would second nursegirls advice on talking to a therapist and staying away from any drugs right now. You can be completely honest with your therapist, HIPPA laws prevent them from telling anyone what you say, unless they feel you're a danger to yourself or someone else, which doesn't seem to be the case at all here. I encourage you to read back into the older posts and find the one's about drugs/alcohol and anxiety. I know nursegirl is finding you the LSD one which is a good one, I remember it, but the others even if they involve different drugs may be helpful. Good luck and update us on how you're doing!
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