Living with a Hypochondriac

[Hegarty]

Can anyone help/give hints/tips on the best way to look after a hypochondriac? I believe my partner believes he is ill and at deaths door, however, he has had tests done, all with negative results (meaning he is healthy). Everyday he complains of feeling ill and I find it draining. I show my support and talk to him about how he is feeling but don't know what else I can do. I want us to enjoy life but at the moment he feels bad everyday. Help!

[Hegarty]

Thanks Jake & Paxiled, the advice you gave has really helped. The key is keep his mind occupied. Fingers crossed the therapist, when he gets an appointment, will provide some relief. I will suggest the skinny dipping and see what he says, lol. Cheers guys!

[Paxiled]

I don't know if this will help, but my wife is still my wife only because she seems able to tune me out.  I've been so mentally and physically ill since I had an extreme withdrawal reaction from Paxil three years ago that I'm not the person she married, but she's able to compartmentalize.  In other words, she lives her life, not mine.  It's a bit cold at times, but why should two people suffer?  Don't ask him how he feels anymore -- and realize that when he talks about it, he just needs to vent so it isn't just rattling around his head all the time.  I have no idea, obviously, what's really going on with him, and neither do you, and all the medical tests in the world don't tell us much, anyway -- doctors know very little about medicine, they just have to pretend they do because our confidence in them is important.  It's a fine line.  Just get him to a good therapist, but realize even if that works, and it usually doesn't, it will take time.  Love him for the good in him and compartmentalize the bad, and if he will travel and do fun things, Jake gave good advice -- have some fun!  Personally, I like the skinny dipping, but I do that anyway.

Hi Jake.  Wish I could still do kung fu, but my body's too injured for it.  Got too old.

[jakegorzen]

1) Keep him off the Computer......so he cant look up his symptoms.
2) Plan to take a week off, you and him...go somewhere, where he will be EXTREMELY BUSY...constantly, Working out, fresh air, maybe nighttime fun...BUSY BUSY.
3) If all else fails, call him on his "illness" tell him that because he thinks hes dieing, maybe he should live life to the fullest now, do everything he has ever wanted to do, skydiving, rock climbing, skinny dippin, whatever it may be........tell us what he says to that.

Idol mind is a devils playground, and like Tim McGraw says "live like your dieing"
Ive been going back to Karate again, 3 days weekly, training on the days off, working out, and mine has gotton so MUCH BETTER.
Today I started to feel kinda......edgy, and went to practice..now I feel great:)

[Hegarty]

I know how he feels is genuine, even though medical tests have not shown anything. I find it hard to know what to say to him when he says he feels ill. Initially I had no problem talking to him about how he feels, now I feel like a broken record player. How should I react?

[Paxiled]

Just because they can't find anything wrong doesn't mean he doesn't feel ill.  It kinda sounds like depression to me, which is just as much an illness as anything else.  Hope the therapist helps.

[bip]

Mayb therapist will help him...I know its hard livin like that.....

[Hegarty]

His grandfather, who was like a dad to him died a couple of years ago of cancer. His dad has never been on the scene. Hopefully he will get a therapist appointment soon. Just waiting for one to come through.

[bip]

Did he ever have sum1 close that died sudden???  My dad died 15 yrs ago an i l bb honest i was the same way!!! I was so scared havin a heart attacck, cancer u name every ill ness i heard....I made my self so sick to my stomach cuz i was so scared of death!!! went to doctors all the time an they told me nothin was wrong an stil didnt believe them..... C if he wil go to a councelour an mayb meds. wil help him to.... Do u kno wat is makin him scared??? Im sorry an im sure u r doin a good job with him...