Major Anxiety

Good day All...
40, M., the only boy and youngest in a loving family, happily married for 14 years with two daughters, I always had difficulties maintaining a long enough night sleep (4Hrs).
I have been through –possibly- worst difficulties, non, effected me this way.
I have HSV1&2, last outbreaks; 02/May/06 and 23/SEP/08.
I suffer from high cholesterol, discovered in 2006.
In mid 2007 had my first kidney stone attack, have been to the ER a number of times, did two procedures; ESWL and ureteroscopy in may, started producing more stones (pain).
Post ureteroscopy pain lasted for two month, during which I took Buscopan, Cataflam and Tramadol once at night, stopping Tramadol -cold turckey- caused sleeplessness, took Ambien, it helped.
My dad is on dialysis for kidney failure, sold our house and bought another; works on it don’t seem to end.
In July 2008 my wife and I tried for another baby via in vitro, initially worked, than miscarried around 05/SET/08.
In early august I purchased an expensive car, was a difficult decision, truly depressed me, as I had high expectations for enjoying life but material didn’t seem to help, shortly after I had a short bout of dizziness, dry cough and feeling of emptiness.
On 11/SEP/08 I was very stressed and sick with flu like symptoms, GP prescribed Cipro.
Researching symptoms online (fever, headache, dizziness, dry cough, oral thrush & penile yeast infection –post Cipro.- and my last HSV outbreak) keep on leading me to believe that I contracted HIV, deep depression and anxiety took over, did 4 and 8 weeks post possible exposure tests, results; negative, online experts confirmed I couldn’t have contracted it.
Most symptoms disappeared; still have fluctuating dizziness, same amount of oral thrush and penile yeast infection.
Expert’s assurance comforted me for few days, anxiety recommenced due to reviewing the conflicting online HIV theories, I lost interest in pleasure, my life revolves around HIV, I don’t know what to do, please help.
Kind regards.

[cj29]

I am sorry that you are dealing with all of this.  There are many people with health anxiety here, and a lot of people fear HIV.  You did the right thing by getting tested and seeing your doctor.  If they think you are fine, I would go along with them; it is extremely hard to get in the first place.

With all of this going on, have you ever been to counseling?  Sometimes that is the best route, in my experience.  Sometimes one just needs to let his/her feelings out on the table with someone who is trained to listen.  I admire your honesty and willingness to confront this.  Keep us posted!

[Carlos45]

CJ29,

Many thanks for your input.
No I never did any counseling, as I never felt the need to do so, I'm new to this which makes it even more difficult.

Where I live there is a shortage in these specialties, Is there an online web site that you can suggest for one-on-one sessions/counseling?

Kind regards,

Carlos.

[kay4545]

Don't worry, Every time I have even a toothache it relates to some dread disease and I worry for days! I think my worrying makes it worse, but when all else fails, I reach for an Ativan (1/2) and it just takes the edge off until I can cope. I also see a doctor who specialises in Cognitive Behavior Therapy, take care

[Carlos45]

Good to know that there are people out there like you who care to respond.
Keep the good hope.
Thank you.
Carlos.

[cj29]

I am not sure of any online counseling forums, but I know this is a great community to learn and grow in although we are not counselors by any means.  But we all do share a common bond here and many of peoples' experiences here are similar to yours...keep involved here and keep us posted!