Motivated to change...Who's with me??

OK everybody I've realized my anxiety, depression, and other several mental issues have been rapidly destroying my life.  It's taken over my home, job, mind, and social life.  I'm about to lose my job if i don't take control and get back on track.  I've been presented with an opportunity to really prove that I'm worth keeping there, and since my boss is my dad, I would love to be able to do that.

I've seen where I'm headed driven by my anxiety, and I can't handle that.  I want my life back.  And I know being responsible again will help me feel a LOT better about myself.  It would help with my depression anxiety social anxiety...a lot of things.  BUT i'm not going to lie, it is very difficult for me to stay on task and concentrate and make these changes.  I've been wanting to for a long time but now I have an amazing opportunity and I don't want to miss it.

So I'm looking for someone else who's ready to turn their life around and stop being enslaved by your anxiety/depression, a buddy who will check up on me and make sure I'm still working towards my goal, and I'll be there for you too.

I know I will feel a lot better in general if I can turn my life around and beat the anxiety as much as it is possible.  I have a feeling I'm not the only one who can do this.

So who's with me???

[Raine9]

This is interesting.  I like your motivation.  What exactly do you propose?  I have email relationships with a few people that I met on the anxiety forums.  We email each other back and forth for support.  But I am much older than you so I don't know if I would be much help.  You may not be able to relate to me.  

[LilHypochondriac]

i was thinkin the same kind of thing, e-mailing.

i suppose i should go into a little more detail about what i'm actually going to do to turn my life around.  well like i said i'm close to losing my job because i spend so much time worrying and i'm either spending time looking diseases up or finding distractions because i'm too stressed to deal with my work problems.  which ends up making them worse.  then i get home, still always worrying, and i'm just so stressed & exhausted all the time all i want to do is sleep and cuddle with my boyfriend.  i barely eat at home, definitely don't clean much, and therefore i've been living pretty miserably.  i just spend my whole live feeling sorry for myself and worrying about myself and it's starting to just spiral out of control.

what i've noticed is that when i do something positive, say clean the house or do well at my job, i am able to be happy again.  for a short time.  but then i go back to work and something that i slacked off with gets brought back up and bites me in the ***.  so i feel worthless frustrated and depressed again.  and then i do something that will distract me from those feelings, but it also distracts me from my work and it's just getting worse again.

so i'm realizing i can't give myself any distractions from the hard times in life.  i need to just deal with them.  because a temporary distraction tends to be a problem in the big picture.  that's where i need support from someone.  it's a little bit of a catch 22 though because i only have internet at work, so if i'm looking for support from someone online, it takes me away from my work.  but that might not be so bad...i mean i literally spend probably 3/4 of the work day distracting myself right now.  i think if i just cut it down to an e-mail or two i will still improve a lot at work, home, and mind.

personally, i'm down to talk with anyone.  i don't care about age, race, sex, location, political views, even religion (despite the fact that i do of course feel strongly about my own), because it's not significant as far as the support.  maybe we wouldn't be able to relate based on certain subjects, but we do have something in common.  anxiety.  and i feel that we play a huge role in our own anxiety and even though you're not me, with my situation, i KNOW there are things you can change in your life that will help you out with your anxiety.  I'm not sure what they are, but i'm sure everybody can help themselves to a degree.

so i mean if you want to, that's cool, and if you don't that's fine too.  as i've gone through the day trying to do this (i know i've been posting in here but i have accomplished a lot more today than whole weeks so i have shown improvement already), i've noticed it's a lot more of an internal battle anyway.  i'm not really sure if i need support anymore to be honest.  well, i could always use support =P but i don't think i'll be needing it as often as i originally thought.  i do feel SO much better already today.  i remember this morning i was sure it was going to be another HORRIBLE day but i've not felt a bit of anxiety, depression, or craziness.  in fact i'm having one of the best days i've had since i've developed anxiety

i know i can do this.  and i'm so happy!!

anyway my e-mail address is ***@**** feel free to e-mail me, and feel free not to.

either way i encourage you to figure out something in your life that you yourself are doing to make your anxiety WORSE.  (example:  say you hate tv but find yourself watching it constantly because you're depressed or need to get away from all the worry.  well most likely that  will make you feel worse about yourself.  in that case, i would recommend forcing yourself not to watch it and to deal with whatever it is you don't want to deal with)  Anyway when you find whatever it is, force yourself to change it.  i think it helps us with anxiety to take pride in our lives.  or it's just me but that's what i've found.

[LilHypochondriac]

bethanyoc AT comcast DOT net

it blocked out my e-mail address.

[Raine9]

I am 36, I feel like I'm old enough to be your mom (lol).  Well, you can email me if you need to chat, I'll try my best.  My email is worryallthetime8 AT yahoo DOT com.  My email is anonymous, so don't be insulted that I don't reveal my real name.  I prefer to remain anonymous.  I'm one of those privacy freaks.  

Your screen names suggest that you are a hypochondriac?  I would recommend that you try reading this blog by Leila Vine called Confessions of a Hypochondriac.  Leila is 22, so closer to your age.  Do you know how blogs work?  You can leave a comment or email her directly.  She usually responds.  Her blog can be hilarious! I am 36 but she makes me laugh and I can relate to most of her fears cuz I'm a hypo myself.  Here's the addresss.  http://theperfecthypochondriac.blogspot.com/

I believe Leila is currently in Idaho so hasn't posted in a couple of days.  But I think you might like it.  
Another anxiety blog is http://anxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/. This one is by debaser. He used to post here but doesn't anymore.  I am more acquainted with him.  If you develop a relationship with him, he will provide as much support as possible.  He's a good guy.   But don't tell him I referred you!  Just kidding, we have a strange relationship.  I just don't want him to know that I did something nice for him.  (haha)  Blogs are good way to develop a closer relationship with people going through the same thing.

Good luck!  I hope more people will respond to your post.

[lavenderlady4556]

I would be glad to drop you an email and we can kind of introduce ourselves and see if we could be a good support for each other. Let me know if you would be ok to this and I will email you! :)

[LilHypochondriac]

definitely!  send away :-)

[debaser23]

Don't listen to Raine9.  She's some kinda prevert.  I haven't figured out what kind, yet.

But Leila's blog is wonderful.  Definitely recommended reading!  

And just kidding about Raine9 being a "prevert".

[Raine9]

Damn you debaser, what are you doing in this forum!  Weren't you banned for life?!  And I was forced to recommend your blog.  Didn't want to, but had no choice!  I hate your blog, I hate it, you hear me?  I hate it!!

[debaser23]

Hey, you don't end a question with an exclamation point...don't you know that!

I haven't debased this forum quite enough to get banned yet.  But that's what I do, you see, since I'm a debaser and all.  So it's only a matter of time.

[Raine9]

I can end a question with whatever I friggin' want!  You read me?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And don't come back around these parts no more.  You're not wanted here.

LilHypochondriac:  I hope you're not taking any of this seriously.  Sorry for using your post like a playground.  

Respectfully,
Raine

[wmac]

Is that your email?? ***@***** did I miss the address or what. I would to chat with you.  Im in the same boat. Lets talk. I need someone too.
Wendy

[spade22]

Posting email addresses and websites is not allowed on MH.  The text portion of the email must have been edited and replaced by  ******'s.

Im just curious if there is an automatic filter that turns characters next to an @ into *****'s.  Just going to try something out here abc@def

[wmac]

I  know on the heart forum you can post your email.

[Raine9]

LilHypochondriac was able to post her email address.  Look closely, she just spells it out completely.  Actually, I'll copy and paste it for you.  Here it is  bethanyoc AT comcast DOT net