My HIV Anxiety

[CBF121]

Hello, about 2 years ago I had protected sex with a stripper twice in one night. I originally was scared of HIV because of who she was a stripper. She was young 19 and new to the club, however I developed a condition called mollscum contagium on my leg. Online it said it was found in adults who had HIV I was devastated. Medhelp HIV community and Health boards told me I had no risk because the protection never failed, though I caught the condom slipping off at one point and we stopped sex I never had bare penis exposure to her. I finally got an Oraquick Oral Test  and did it and it was negative after 2 years. The Body- HIV resource website stated as a response to another persons question that an Oral test a year after an incident was " Definitive and Conclusive". However during my test I was nervous and I set my swab on the package I opened it from, which was in the sealed box. I called Orasure about 4 times talking to different representatives, they all assured me that the test was NOT contaminated. Doctors when they do oral swabs or take cultures actually do the same thing a lot if you watch them (set the swab on the package the opened it from) However I have been obsessed with the idea that everyone and the test was wrong. Despite the fact I have found that after six months False Negatives don't happen, everything I have read on forums is contamination makes it indeterminate or a False Positive. The Oraquick is as good as any other lab test for negatives. I have had other issues with this test I thought I did wrong but again Orasure assured me multiple times I did nothing that would mess up the test. I am coming down from this but I also have OCD and that keeps coming back up. I don't want to obsess and become a habitual tester. Any advice and help appreciated Thanks

[CBF121]

Orasure said when I called that if anything was done wrong I could get a false negative or false positive. IDK if they are just being over protective

[sky12312]

you are right. I need to put these thoughts away.... I guess I am too scared by the rumor that bad guy with HIV pokes himself then pokes others to spread the disease...This is how I started worrying about being poked by needles after hearing some saying like this..  Sometimes I would try to comfort myself by simulate and analyse the scenario in my brain. But I would always be beaten by every kind of "what if.." thoughts...

[CBF121]

Please move this topic back to the anxiety forum. This was not about HIV Prevention but about my anxiety over this issue

[CBF121]

Hello, I forgot to add my mollscum is on my left leg, became infected and brought up a couple cysts. I am a wrestler so and told this to my dermatologist as well as what I read online. My dermatologist told me her daughter does judo and gets mollscum all the time in different places. A relative when I told him about this even said " Those are the warts you get from wrestling" I did not have mollscum when I was this partner. I was just concerned about the accuracy of oraquick. but even orasure said I did not contaminate the test. When i told my regular doctor about my concern during a physical he didn't even seem concerned. He said he would see abnormalities in my blood work by now if it was Hepatitis or HIV ( I have full blood work by the way, liver function, CBC, Thyroid function, immune system check and whatever else they do). I am currently on antibiotics for the infection on my leg so I feel nauseous a lot ( I am on 4 Bactrim pills a day split up between 2 doses) so that doesn't help. But like you said look at it logically.

[Winniepooh888]

Sky12312,

I understand your fear completely! Mine's just a little bit different.. I'm afraid that the labs didn't use a new needle at quest labs.

But I can assure you, you are needlessly worrying about something that ISNT real. First off, if someone was going to poke you with anything it would be a knife or possibly a screwdriver, but not a needle. What would they accomplish by poking you with a needle? If a stranger was hiding in the bushes, their motive would be to harm you.. Not poke you with something and then run away. It just wouldn't happen. Also, you would of seen the person running away or behind you when you turned around, when you got poked. Trust me, you do not have HIV and you have nothing to worry about! I promise you!

But like I said, YOU are the only one that can help yourself.. No one else. People can give you their advice, but it is up to you to put this to rest. Now go live life & do not look back! You do not have HIV! Celebrate life!

[sky12312]

Hi Winnie, I just saw your comment and I guess I am experiencing the same thing you used to experience-- "afraid to come into contact with a dirty needle or something."
I have a little paranoid I guess, and this enlarges my worry about getting HIV from a needle. Like the questions I asked in community: I worry people behind me use needle to poke me, I worry there is a guy hiding in the bushes use needle to poke me since I felt some pain, although that bush was really short.
I am suffering a lot from this, it seems that I am creating HIV needle scenario every time I felt sth strange. My parents do not have patience with me anymore.
I would really appreciate if you can share some advise. Thanks a lot!

[Winniepooh888]

You're another one that suffers from OCD, join the club. I have OCD as well, and obsess about the same situations that you do. I'm afraid of contracting hiv as well, just through a different method- I'm afraid to come into contact with a dirty needle or something.

First let me say that, YOU are the only one that can control your ocd. Other people can offer support, but it is ultimately up to you how you are going to live your life and deal with this situation. If you don't get your OCD under control, it will end up running your life and that's not something you want. So think about it this way.. You have already let it steal time from you that you will never get back, over worrying about something that ISNT real.

Let's look at this objectively.. It takes 3 months to get a conclusive test result and you tested two years after. It was negative, so you are NEGATIVE. You used protection with your partner, therefore there was no risk of infection. People can have Molloscum, and not be HIV positive. I think the article you read meant that it makes it EASIER for HIV to transmit from one person to another if they have another STD, such as one that causes open wounds. It's just like saying everyone that has genital warts has HIV.. NOT TRUE! Individuals can have genital warts and not have HIV. It just makes it easier for the virus to pass through. Lastly, you DID NOT do the test wrong. Those oraquick tests are very sensitive and would pick up on the slightest thing. Trust me, I've taken a couple oraquick tests myself back in the day when my ocd was stuck on HIV. One time I didn't swab correctly, so I did another one a week later but got the same results. Your test was not contaminated and you do not have HIV.

It does not matter what I or the doctors tell you any further than this because we have helped you to the best of our ability. The facts are right in front of your face, and it is up to you to put this to rest. Face the facts.. You do not have HIV and you should start living your life. Move on from this. Don't let this situation take another second of your time!