My Struggle....

Hi. I am 28 years old and am in crisis mode. I hope someone can offer me some insight. I am having a hard time with symptoms my doctor has diagnosed as "panic disorder". I struggle with chest/rib pains, stabbing headaches, numbness in my extremities, fear of being alone, fear of dying and almost everything else a panic suffer deals with. I have had a CAT scan of my chest, an MRI of my head, bood tests, several EKGs and Chest X-rays ect. My doctors tell me that medically I am o.k. and that all these things are simply related to my panic disorder but no matter how many times they tell me this I still feel like I am going to die of a heart attack, brain anyerism, etc. I have tried several medications such as prosac, lexapro, ativan and klonapin. I never stay on one very long though because the side effects are so bad and frankly, I don't want to walk around like a zombie for the rest of my life. How do I get over these doomed sensations? With all the tests that I've had done, is there anything else that could be wrong or am I just stricken with panic disorder. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated!!

[Venora Moonwind]

Have you had you thyroid tested. a malfunctioning thyroid will cause the syptoms (symptoms) you are having.
Keep me posted. we will help you get throiugh this. Have you tried deep breathing exercises and meditation?Keeping a journal is very helpful as well to get all the fears and anxiety on paper.I write my stuff down and then I burn the paper and it helps get rid of the negative feelings.
Love Venora

[lost_myself]

I have gone through all the same and more....just had a cta of my heart ..looks like I'm fine medically. This does suck..bad.All i can offer is first..you are NOT alone look at all the posts ..there's lot's of us..2nd your mind is VERY powerful ..you got off track... into a bit of a funk( btw ive been to the ER 8 X in 3 months so I'm not down playing how bad this can feel) but when you take back control.... your mind can  "heal" you just as well.. exercise,meditation, and yoga/tai chi all work wonders..most important don't fight it .I know it sounds silly but it really works ...accept that you feel flush,or dizzy or uncomfortable ...it really wont hurt you and without that secondary fear of OMG i feel this way or that it'll just fade away .....look here for support too ...I find seeing the similarities helps me feel better good luck God Bless

[benotta]

Hi Venora. I saw you posted back so quickly and I just started crying. I've felt so alone for so long. I'm driving my family nuts with all of this. I think this website will be a god-sent. I have had my thyroid tested and it's fine. As a matter of fact, I think I've had every test under the sun. I'm sure I just need to realize that it's just anxiety but it's so hard. I can't get over this feeling that I'm going to die from one of these symptoms. It's so frustrating!

[benotta]

Thank you for your post. See my first post to Venora. I am so thrilled that you guys responded so quickly. Thank you. I also feel that I am going to set the record for the most ER visits ever. I've been there for chest pains, headaches, you name it. I feel like my doctor's are dismissing me now that they think it's panic disorder and my family is just getting tired of me leaning on them so much (even though they won't admit it). I am just struggling. How am I ever going to overcome this? I have always been strong and healthy both physically and mentally until about 7 months ago. I don't want to be on meds, it just isn't me!!! What do you use to cope?

[Venora Moonwind]

Oh honye I am crying now. you are not alone. we can help you through this.I also forget to mention that therapy is a very positive thing in treating anxiety. you can get to the root of the anxiety by finding out things  you never knew went on in your head.Keep posting and I prya you will feel better soon.
Love Venora

[lost_myself]

I hate pills!!!!!!!!!!   i've taken maybe 8 valium( 1/2 at a time ) in the last 3 months.. herbal teas, valerian root ..help me i had a DR refuse to treat me in the ER cuz he just wanted to dose me up w ativan and send me home i told him to pound sand!!!!!!!!!  look @ www.stresscenter.com this program helped me alot..you might be able to find it cheaper @ ebay.Also www.contollinganxiety.com/dsp_downloads.php.... lots of good info esp. under how to recover... and there are always people here who'll lend a hand or an ear:)

[iamfaithful]

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to say that I am there with all of you. lost_myself, I started the ER trips back in May of this year and let's just say they know me when I walk in there :-)  One month I went twice, but I really thought I was dying.  These physical symptoms can really make you feel that way, especially when you are dealing with your heart.

Yesterday and today have been good days.  I am MAKING myself think positive and claim that it is FEAR that is making me feel this way.  I am so tired of being afraid of everything health related, it is wearing me out.  Even when the symptoms come back, I am going to -with God's help- keep thinking positive and know that it will eventually pass.  It is so hard, but it's got to be done.  My quality of life has been really ugly for the past few months.  
We are all here to help one another, and I for one am so grateful for that.  I like this thread because you all are so sincere in wanting to help out-very reasuring to a lot of us.

It doesn't happen overnight and I am learning that kind of the hard way.  I thought when this all began that it would go away just as quickly, like in a week  or even a month.  No way did I expect to have this for almost seven months now.  I realize that may sound like or WILL sound like a very short time for some folk, but when you are new to this it seems like an eternity.  Hang in there benotta, keep smiling and saying "I am going to be okay!"  Live in the moment, don't project what MIGHT happen, that is a huge "no" and I say that because I am Queen of "what if!"
I pray everyone has a safe and easy going weekend.
Be blessed!

[benotta]

This site is so great. Everytime I read a response to my post (that I seriously just wrote like 10 minutes ago) I start to cry. I had no idea that this type of support was out there. Thank you. Please keep the info. coming. I am willing to try ANYTHING at this point! Once again, thank you!

[cal7902]

Sorry to hear that you are struggling.  Hang in there though because like the others have said you are not alone in this.  

I have a eerily similar story to yours.  I am also 28 and have been "in a funk" ever since Feb. 11 of this year.  I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.  And, of course, I didn't, but the effects of that moment stay with you for a while and can get in your head.  I had all the tests done, MRI, pheocromocytoma, thyroid, echos, stress test, etc.  All came back normal.  

So I am trying to get through this like others.  I thought it would be quicker, but you just have to take it day by day.  If you have a good day, thank God for that day, and if you have a bad day, pray that God will make the next one better!

I found a really good web site call www.anxietycentre.com that helped me to understand some of the symptoms of anxiety.  Most of all, just try to stay positive.  Be thankful for the good in your life, and pray for healing.  

Best wishes to you!

[worriewort]

I know exactly what you all are going thru. Here is my story:  2 years ago I came down with Bronchitis. Something most people get during cold/flu season.  I've had it before many times, but this particular time, I thought I was going to die. I panicked. Went to the dr. like everyday, had chest x-rays, gave me antibiotics, etc. I thought I had pnemonia (pneumonia) and was going to die. Couldn't breathe, etc. I stayed up thinking I was going to die, couldn't be alone, etc. Dr. said my lungs were clear and wheezing was gone, but I still went in couldn't breathe and thought I was going to die. So one day I went in for a follow up, basically my illness was over, I saw another dr. She said I had anxiety/panic disorder and referred me to a therapist. She told me that many people have this, I was not alone. She didn't make me feel like I was crazy.  She was very sympathetic.  I have been seeing my therapist for 2 years, mostly in the winter time because I panic when it's cold, fear of getting sick again.   I mean, If someone even sniffles around me, I panic. This feeling of panic takes over. If my poor children even cough, I freak out, like they have some weird disease.  I don't take any medications...I'm trying to work thru this. My husband is very supportive and helps me calm down.  I have gotten better, it was way worse last year.  I wish I could go back to the old me. Where I just dealt with things calmly and this all would go away.

[level]

I am so worried about my health it's ridicolous. I went to the hospital for an mri and mra a few days ago and felt a little silly but just wasn't feeling good and being paranoid. Tests came back normal and I still worry that there is something. I dont' want there to be though. It's strange. There is something haywire in our brains that make us like that. I'm glad I'm not alone in the excessive worry. I literally will research the internet for days about strokes, etc. I am not sure what causes us to be such hypochondriacs but it has to be tied into the whole anxiety/panic that we have. When that fear center of our brain is activated and it causes physical symptoms it's natural for us to think something is going on when maybe it is just our brain a little out of whack or out of balance for whatever reason. SSRI's are the only thing I have found to curb the constant worry but when I get off it comes back so it's a temporary thing but points to some type of serotonin imbalance. Who knows but I feel for you-it is hard to control the worry if not damn near impossible then it's a vicious cycle-if one thing checks out ok then you think they missed something and something else is wrong. It's really hard to deal with. I'm in the same boat right now complaining about my health everyday-it's driving my girlfriend nuts.

[benotta]

Hi guys. Thanks for the stories. I feel for you as well but in some wierd way, they comfort me. I had a major freak-out today. I got a sharp pain in my head (probably the result of a sinus infection) and I just lost it. I laid on the floor crying and screaming. My husband is also very supportive. I finally calmed down but now I fear there is something else wrong. Does anyone else just feel like they leave their body for a few seconds. I literally just loose it for a couple of seconds like my mind goes blank and I just can't think. Then, I freak out and my arms and legs go numb. I am so scared!!

[CaliGirl48]

I posted a few questions on here over the last few days looking for help with my symptoms. I have all of the same things that everyone here has. I hate living like this. here is a link that was given to me. I have just started using this and I am finding it very helpful to relax amd calm down....so I wanted to pass it on.

[nathanlyons]

I just want u to know that im going through the exact same thing. U can lok at my posts, I litteraly feel like im dieing every moment that im awake. I have about 95 percent of the symptoms u can have with anxiety and to top it off I have developed a fear of taking meds due to a reaction I had that almost killed me wich is also the same thing that started the anxiety in the 1st place. It started about 3 mos ago and I have been to the e r 9 xs now and the tests always show that I am fine but I constantly fear that they have missed something. I feel pains n my chest, back, ribs, head, arms, hands, legs, feet, numbing sensations, hot and cold sensations, palpitations, I constantly check my pulse and I think my heart is skiping beats, vibrations in my body ive hyperventalated several times and the list goes on and on. I cant even describe some of the things I feel because I wouldnt even know how to put them in words. Im feeling pain and worrying 90 percent of the time im awake. I hope what I have is anxiety and when I hear stories like yours it helps me a little to believe that it is. I hope that hearing mine puts u at ease a lil. GOOD LUCK,

[natdilan]

Hi what can i say that all this people didnt say ? Its all the same, One thing is that i found a book called LIVING WITH IT  it talks about pannic att and anxiety i understood it better that i will not die. I live with this damb thing every day , i have no where to run but to exept it and live all day breathing and knowing that i can get thrue the day. I had fear of ding for  a
while  and the first thing you do is to check up with doc, which  say all ok, second is to take meds  becouse if you feel you cant cope whats the harm of knowing that they might help you live a normal life, now its not normal any way, thats the way i came to look at it after 5 month of saing no and wonting to go to sico hospital ,as my thoghts would not stop racing, but i didnt i took the meds. it helps but  its a day to day stragle as i been on them for 3 weeks now . It will get better i know it will.Be positive as much as you can , i try to be ,but having 4 kids and stress of  it all just  takes longer for me . Im going to start yoga 2 morrow i hope it helps ,tryed meditation i just - wonted to run, 1 hour was to long to sit in one spot for me.but it might help you, TRY TRY TRY every thing you can dont sit and think of it , it just gona make it all wors.,  

[thepixies]

I get lots of chest pains too. For me it's all to do with panic/anxiety. It might seem like a real physical pain and you wonder if it's a heart problem or something, but for me it's 100% anxiety.

I actually had a real panic attack tonight :( I was at a friend's house and we were watching a movie and I had a panic attack while we were right in the middle of the movie.. I had nothing to panic about but it just happened. I am new to panic attacks so I need to start dealing with them now that I realise it's a problem. Prior to this I've only had a couple and I didn't know what they were, now it's pretty obvious. It's all my own fault because I haven't been doing the exercises my psychologist told me to do. Basically there are a bunch of things you can do to start fixing this panic/anxiety problem but it's quite hard to do it so I keep putting it off... Basically you have to put yourself in situations that would make you panic and then you have to deal with it. You have to confront the problem rather than trying to avoid the problem. It's really hard to do but I think once you get the guts to do it, you will start getting better. I need to do it.... I have been putting it off all this time but because of this panic attack I had tonight, I now know I am going to do it and no more putting it off.

Hopefully you can get the same kind of help. I've only seen my psychologist a few times and she basically just gave me a book to read, but the book teaches you most of what you need to know to overcome it. The book she told me to get is "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness by Gillian Butler". You might need a different book though but maybe not.

Good luck

[benotta]

Thank you for your posts. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am doing well. I haven't had hardly any panic attacks for about five months except for one over the weekend. I didn't run to the ER, I took deep breaths, walked and it went away pretty quickly. I don't know if this is something I'll ever get over but I've learned to deal with it in more positive, effective ways. I'm not taking any meds except for the occasional ativan as needed. Our nervous systems are just far more sensative than others and that's o.k. Although sometimes it backfires, it inspires creativity, leadership and a strong desire to do good things. I work very hard every day on controlling my anxiety. I know my symptoms arise because of my high stress job and all the other responsibilities I have but I wouldn't have my life any other way so I've chose to control my anxiety rather than let it control me. Trust me, it can be done! The biggest piece of advice I can offer to all of you is that you will have set-backs but don't let it get in the way of your progress. Keep moving forward!

[GirlLovesNY]

I feel your pain 100%. I am suffering with so many 24/7 symptoms and feel like I am crippled by my sensations.

You can read my post to give you an idea of what I'm going through. I received great posts that are relieving. Just know you are not alone and there are many of us who look great and are perfectly healthy, yet feel like the complete opposite of what everyone tells us.

Bless all of us inflicted with emotional and physical pain...

[female32]

Has anyone ever passed out and when they came to their speech was slurred and their hands were numb and you couldn't move them.
Speech came back in about 20 minutes..  I know it was a panic attack but wonder if the rest is normal?

[Armita]

I waa the same as all of you buttt the good news is i am 95% better.. Here is the solution, make your body tired every day. Our body designed to work phisicaly hard to survive ... Moveing around even for no reason just to make yourself tired bodily.. It helpa it worked for me also smile all tge time and tell yourself that oh my god i am smiling all the time.. No caffein plz no caffein .. And last but not least find a person to talk to possiblly opposit sex is better i dont know why good luck dear

[amlbp]

WOW, I am 30 yrs old and a mother of 3. My husband works in different states and is rarely home. All my kids got some kind of bug. Symptoms were high fever and heads hurting. The hurting head scared me. As soon as one kid got better the next day the other would get sick. So every little thing that happened scared me. One night my 4 yr old daughters body started shaking so i assumed she had a Seizure. A wk later the same thing but when i took her to the ems i realized as i was telling them what had happened that she was standing up when her body was shaking so it really couldnt be a seizure. But since then i cant sleep. I am always dizzy feeling and every time i turn my head everything is blurry. my head has this tingling feeling like it is falling asleep. I am scared of something happening to my kids. I fear something bad is going to happen all the time. As soon as i close my eyes to fall asleep i think bad thoughts. I try to over come it but its almost impossible. Since my hubby isnt here to be there in case something were to happen scares me even worse. I am so glad to hear that i am not the only one and obviously its all in my head..

[TonySuprano]

Hi Everyone this is how i feel, i am an absolute mess right now headaches, spinning when lyding down at night in bed..... when people leave me alone i almost go into hysterics.... the fear is overwhelming...... when i go to a shop i run out...... vomiting almost......... God help me where do i start? what can i say to myself?....... this is freaking me out..... My Neighbours will think i am nuts i never go out unless it's dark? :(.... I'm miserable and people say do this do that but does anyone feel like theyre stuck? they want to go out but they cant because of the fear??? I've been to the ER twice this month with raised BP 170/95 from the stress of it all..100% sure there is something wrong like an anuryism or brain something or heart attack , My lastest is a abycess in the brain..... since i been feeling unwell......I cant stand it no more.

[benotta]

Hang in there. I too was crippled by my fear of my health, dying, etc. I struggled for a very long time and I am glad to say that now I am doing much better. I can recomend seeing a psychologist. Just talking about your fears to someone that is not judgemental is helpful. It is mind over matter. I had to make myself go out of the house and do the things I once enjoyed. Sometimes it made me hysterical, other times I realized that I really enjoyed these things. I made up my mind that I was not going to let this anxiety rule my life. Don't get me wrong, I still have bad days but for the most part I take it one day at a time and enjoy my life. I take ativan as needed which is not very often these days. I hope that you can overcome your struggles too. If you feel like your health is in danger, don't hesitate to go the ER. I found that after I got good reports from the doctors, I felt better and now I don't go for every little headache, chest pain, etc. I hope this helps. Hopefully, if you get the help you need, your symptoms will cease as well. Surround yourself with supportive people, it helps! :)

[TonySuprano]

Thanks Benotta, it's horrible i hate it so much, what is worse is i live in a place i hate, and the neighbours are terrible , if i hear there voice i get extremely anxious angry. A bad history here, there is that plus the normal anxiety. I cant belive sometimes how it make you feel, exhausted, disorentated, nauseated, dizzy shaky, I have Klonopin here but i have a fear about taking that too it's crazy! but perhaps i need to start as i cant keep this up?, I dont feel depressed as such..... Just Extreme Anxiety !.... lightheaded...I grow tired and sick of it. Is Ativan the same as klonopin?.Thanks

[benotta]

I too tried Klonapin and it didn't agree with me. Actually, I think it made me worse. Ativan is an as needed anti-anxiety pill. I like it because I don't have to take it everyday, just when I'm having a bad one. I know it sounds dumb but having to take a pill everyday whether I needed it or not gave me anxiety. Do you have any support...spouse, friend, parents? It totally helps! The physical symptoms of anxiety disorder are just as crippling as the mental/emotional symptoms. Please take care and see a doctor you trust regularly!

[cj29]

You mention alot of medications, but are you in therapy for you anxiety?  In my experience with this, it can definitely spiral out of control.  My initial experience with this involved concerns with my heart.  Despite what the doctors and tests said, I knew 'something' had to be wrong.  I became so sensitized to any symptom related to my heart and when I felt that symptom, it would really bother me.  In my opinion, we tend to misinterpret or catastrophize these feelings as something much worse than it really is.

[dani666]

Kick its blooming ***.don't let the panic take control just let it go.jump into every thing that makes you panic and watch as it only last seconds.take your life by the throut and drag it along for the ride you want.your in control after all you only fear your own thoughts xxx

[mks155]

ive had anxiety for a while this year it got really bad .I was jumping around from therapist to therapist crying every day , finally I decided to take an citalopram .Now I feel really wierd and socially off . I dont know what to do!!!!!!!! I want the real fun loving happy me back!!!!! I feel trapped and alone!!!!!!

[Chucky115]

I'm Carlos.. I'm 26 I had the same feelings as all of you.. I took zoloft, Prozac, lexapro , so many drugs is not funny.. All of this happened because a near death experience I had now I deal with my mind issues I'm always scared.  I think I'm going to pass out. I feel alone, sad, I feel like I need company, my way out of this and it will
sound crazy was.. Drinking orange tree leves tea.. Boil them in water and drink it 2 or3 times a day .. Trust me it works better than any drug out there and the best part of it a is natural.. Also this thing called zapote look at it online get the leaves and boil them and drink the tea I'm telling you it works.. Try it and let me know...

[brett666]

I'm brett in january of 2011 i caught a super virus of some sort no doctor could find anything wrong with me it left me feeling terrified and i could feel movements inside my body in my head everywhere my arms and legs would go completely numb my face would go numb and i was in a constant panic for my life my heart palputated constantly i would wake up terrified and my heart would be beating so fast i thought i was going to die right there and then.  Also my vision was so strange it was like i was drunk or in a serious mist or fog.  And this continued all the way up until september.  my vision is back now but i still have chest pains and a strange like hollow feeling in the left side of my chest my heart feels like its beating super weakly. and i am always thinking about what could be wrong with me heart diseas ,brain tumors, vestibular nerve damage .  I forgot too mention previously with the v ision my balance was somewhat compromised as well .  As of right now november seventh i am still suffering from muscle aches numbness in extremities flashing pains in chest and the never ending self diagnosis that drives me crazy .  I have mood swings i cant focus on my job and i run a sour gas plant and oil battery in drumheller.  The doctors say im fine and they offer me anti depressant medication i never take them i have found some relief with valeum that i buy from a friend and i have used ativan like skittles .  I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO i am desperate to get better like if there is something wrong with my heart of whatever i wish the doctors would tell me or is this some strange disease entered into the public too keep population down .  I dont know i mfucking losing my mind pleas help me anybody im desperate?

[mommyX5261]

i know exactly how you feel. i have 5 children 2 of which are aged 3 and 11 months and i always think something is going to happen to me while my hubby is at work and my older kids are in school. its so frustrating! i am literally the Queen of "WHAT IF". it has totally overcome my personality. i am always dizzy, foggyheaded, nausious, and not to mention chest discomfort, headaches, weakness in the legs, tired and so on! i am seeing a therapist and taking meds but its totally not helping.

[mommyX5261]

i know exactly how you feel. i have 5 children 2 of which are aged 3 and 11 months and i always think something is going to happen to me while my hubby is at work and my older kids are in school. its so frustrating! i am literally the Queen of "WHAT IF". it has totally overcome my personality. i am always dizzy, foggyheaded, nausious, and not to mention chest discomfort, headaches, weakness in the legs, tired and so on! i am seeing a therapist and taking meds but its totally not helping.