I'm 15, female. I self harm nearly every day, although I am trying to stop.. I'm kinda getting worse now that schools gone back, I constantly feel as if people are talking about me behind my back, and most of the time they aren't. I feel self conscious doing basically everything at school. Especially at lunch break and things like that, standing up and going to the bin is like a massive task for me. Not physically but I literally mentally have to prepare myself. I look around to see if people are watching me walk, looking at what I carry. Picking out things to judge me on. I get the shakes in social situations with a group of people, if I'm around 3+ people I just shut down and can't talk properly, I used to be so confident and everything. But now I'm not too sure what's happening. I was just wondering if I might have an anxiety disorder or not? People continuously tell me that it's the teen years messing with my head, but I'm really not too sure.
Anyone's help is appreciated. Thanks for listening..
I am about as far away from you as one can be, an old male, grandfather age for you, but..
I do remember being very shy and easily embarrassed in school especially around your age. I still believe I had several good reasons and no one prepared or helped me along. But, I did get through it and over the next few years, becoming an adult, I began to realize those who I was worried about were humans, just like me, nothing more, nothing less. I became able to look them in the eye without either challenging them or submitting to them, just looking at them as an equal. Sure, some played better basketball, got better academic grades, in fact were superior mentally and physically, but that didn't really make us unequal as human beings - that is a summary of the mental changes I had to go through. I didn't accomplish it at age 15, but I don't recall anyone giving me this advice. It may be I just wasn't listening.
As for anxiety, well all suffer to some degree from anxiety, fear, and happiness. We all have to work on moving toward happiness by being better to others than they are to us, by helping and complementing whenever possible, and when talking with our parents or guardians when we are worried.
This isn't an answer, or even my answer, it is just some things that came to my mind while reading your post. I hope you find something herein to help and that you will discuss worries and fears, anxieties, with your parents.
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