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Out Of Control
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Out Of Control

I had 3 panic attacks today at school. It got so bad that I was shaking to the point that I could not hold my pencil to write.
My neruologist called today and told me that I have a brain MRI this Friday. I'm freaking out.
I feel alone because none of my friends understand what I'm going through. I even snapped at one of them today because she was making fun of people who cut.
I talked to my Modern Novels teacher today as well and I confided in her that I have relapsed back into cutting. She's the only person that really understands my body issues because she was a cheerleader too.
I haven't eaten anything in fear that I would vomit it back up.
I slept for about 4 hours last night. Initially, I couldn't get my mind to shut off. When I woke up at 5 in the morning I could not go back to sleep.
It's like my brain is in a fog. I'm finding that I can't concentrate on anything. Along with that, I feel very weak. I mostly laid on the floor during cheerleading practice.
I'm considering going to a hopsital tonight to be evaluated. I've been given Xanax once before, but that was when I had to have a shot of Demerol. The Xanax was given so that I would relax.
I'm also considering calling my therapist and moving my next appointment to a sooner date.
Can this anxiety lead to depression?
I would appreciate opinions about what I should do in the near future. Thanks.
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Yes, anxiety often leads to depression.  Don't freak out about the MRI, this is standard practice for one with anxiety.  I know it's very difficult, and don't let your friends get to you.  They don't understand and have never dealt with this, so there is no way for them to understand.  I hope you know that panic attacks won't harm you, they scare the heck out of us, but that's it.  It's actually a normal reaction coming at the wrong time.  Our brain sense the "fight or flight" mode and floods our body with adrenaline to give us the ability to defend ourselves.  But when it comes at the wrong time and is not needed, the extra adrenaline has nothing to work on and results in a panic attack. If you're able, it's best to walk, pace, anything physical to give the adrenaline something to work on.  Tell yourself this is a normal reaction happening at the wrong time and to stay calm as it will pass.  Make sure you are breathing correctly, we have a tendency to breath more shallow when panicky.  Breathe slowly in thru your nose hold for 2-3 seconds and slowly exhale out of your mouth. Don't go to bed until you are really tired and then read or watch TV to fall asleep. Stay active this helps your anxiety so much, force yourself if need be, the cheerleading is very good for you! Know you're not alone, we hear from a lot of teens with this.  They is help, and you will be fine.  I would try to get your appt. moved up.  Stay strong and talk to us all you want, we understand and do care.  Do take care!
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Anxiety absolutly can lead to depression.  Anxiety and depression come hand in hand.  Therapy is great, and maybe consider medication.  Medication combined with therapy can be a really powerful treatment for anxiety/depression cause medication will lessen the symptoms while therapy helps get to the root of your issues and builds you back up.  
It definitly sounds like you have anxiety and you do have signs of depression such as the snapping at people, and feeling week and in a fog.  As for the cutting, i understand that at desperate times it seems as if its th only thing left to do becuase i cut too.  But try and not do that, becuase later in life when you heal and you become the happy and healthy person you are suposed to be, you will wish you didnt have those scars.  You can fix the emotional scars, but the physical ones will always be there.  Something that helps me is if i put a rubber band or hair tie around my wrist and whenever i feel like cutting i snap it on my wrist.  It gives a similar feeling but it doesnt actually hurt you,
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Avatar_f_tn
Yes, anxiety often leads to depression.  Don't freak out about the MRI, this is standard practice for one with anxiety.  I know it's very difficult, and don't let your friends get to you.  They don't understand and have never dealt with this, so there is no way for them to understand.  I hope you know that panic attacks won't harm you, they scare the heck out of us, but that's it.  It's actually a normal reaction coming at the wrong time.  Our brain sense the "fight or flight" mode and floods our body with adrenaline to give us the ability to defend ourselves.  But when it comes at the wrong time and is not needed, the extra adrenaline has nothing to work on and results in a panic attack. If you're able, it's best to walk, pace, anything physical to give the adrenaline something to work on.  Tell yourself this is a normal reaction happening at the wrong time and to stay calm as it will pass.  Make sure you are breathing correctly, we have a tendency to breath more shallow when panicky.  Breathe slowly in thru your nose hold for 2-3 seconds and slowly exhale out of your mouth. Don't go to bed until you are really tired and then read or watch TV to fall asleep. Stay active this helps your anxiety so much, force yourself if need be, the cheerleading is very good for you! Know you're not alone, we hear from a lot of teens with this.  They is help, and you will be fine.  I would try to get your appt. moved up.  Stay strong and talk to us all you want, we understand and do care.  Do take care!
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Avatar_m_tn
I can tell you that at almost 37 years old and being a fireman for 10 years, when anxiety hit me it messed me up big time. I wish I could go back in time and not waist all the moments that I missed. The fear cycle is what you have to break. I went from heart attack worries to ms to ALS to stroke to brain tumor to everything you can think of and back again. The end result is that I'm OK and anxiety really can mess you up, but only if you let it. The craziest thing is that anxiety can cause almost any symptom that you can read about, so don't even let yourself go there. I'm a medic and have some decent knowledge of the physiological stuff that happens to . I'm still truly amazed at the power of suggestion when paired with anxiety. I was throwing Dr's for a loop. Remember, your young, and resilient and very capable of getting on with your life. When anxiety hits you, breath. Steady nice breaths. Take that moment back from anxiety and own it. It's not about control of your life, it's about control of your response to life. Your body wants to freak out, okay, but you decide you just want to breath. It may take a little while but once you get through it and you see the light at the end of the tunnel, it will get better from there out.
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