I live alone, (apart from two new rats and a hamster) although a neighbour two doors up can be helpful. The people from my church all live the other end of town. One useful thing is that Halloween night I should be at Alpha. I might see if I can work late then go to the Captains (our ministers) so I don't have to be home before that.
I have a GTN spray (keeps for longer than the pills) but only need it infrequently. I saw my GP yesterday - it was her idea to call on me! She is very helpful. A previous radionuclide scan didn't show up any significant problems, although an echo shows slight enlargement from my high blood pressure (now controlled.) However, the symptoms are so typical that Dr H is sure it is a heart problem and is referring me for an angiogram. All of Dad's side have had coronary artery disease, so it would be more surprising if I didn't. Apart from the really bad attack two weeks ago, I'm not particularly anxious about it, although when I get really low I wish I could trigger a fatal arrhythmia.
Are you in therapy? Do you live alone? As for Halloween, can you and a friend or collegeue or your husband if you are married go to a restaurant or a movie during the hours of Halloween? Since our kids are grown my husband and I do that. I don't mind giving candy to kids but when Teenagers knock and come back a second, third and fourth time we can do without that. Where we live the little kids come with their parents as early as 4:30 - 5 p.m. when there is still daylight, I try to get supper ready, talk to my husband when he gets home, and here the doorbell and banging on the door is none stop when the sun is still shining outside, and it goes none stop till 10:00 pm even though going by the city rules it should stop at 8 p.m.
My sister at age 14, and still a virgin, on the way home from school was brutally raped by some animal who stopped his car jumped out and threw her in the backseat and drove off to the woods where he brutally raped her and left her laying in streaming down rain. That happened 46 yrs ago and she still has not recovered from that. Her scars never healed. She too gets flash backs, so bad that she was hospitalized for 17 weeks at one time, and that was three yrs ago. She was in and out of therapy ever since with little help from different shrinks. Meds, no help.
When was the last time you saw a doctor? If you get angina attacks did they ever give you nitroglycerin pills?
Please get some help. I hope you do not live alone, I don't necessarely mean alone in a house/apartment but alone in the city/town. Have you got friends? Are you active in a church or any other? To get your mind off things.
Don't let these punk Teenagers know that you are scared, punks like that thrive on that. Sometimes punks like that cross my way when I am out walking and I look them straight in the eyes even though inside I have been scared at times. The city we live in is high crime as most big cities are. If my husband should die before me I would book out of here ASAP.