Panic attacks or excitement?

[Prizma]

Growing up I was never any good at showing excitement for various reasons. Unfortunately that has led to keeping things inside and now I can't decipher between panic attacks and excitement. For instance, this morning I woke up feeling anxious and I decided it was because I didn't sleep well. It's only 11am now and I've already had some pretty big panic attacks (which I haven't had in a very long time). I was grabbing some hot chocolate at work and thinking about the rest of the day and evening (it's my birthday and I'm going out to celebrate with some friends). I treated myself to a new bed for my birthday and that's being delivered tomorrow. All in all it's a pretty wicked day.

Does anyone else have the problem distinguishing excitement from anxiety which leads to panic attacks? lol I feel pretty damn pathetic actually. Angry, frustrated even more. I took .5 Ativan and that's helped. I just wish I knew how to change the behaviour.

[Prizma]

*laugh* you are not a downer to me.

I was trying to explain to someone the other day about my interactions with anxiety and my life. This person has no experience with it. I gave an example of my best friend and what I ended up telling her. There was a time when I played turtle and stayed in my safe zone, which really took a toll on our friendship as she is outgoing, energetic etc. She got tired of trying to coax me out and do things and I ended up getting a frustrated rant. By the time she finished I said to her "There is nothing you can say to me that I haven't said to myself; However, I've said it 10x more worse and beat myself up over it more." It sort of put it in perspective for her. I guess she thought I haven't tried or thought about things. lol

Like now, I've beat myself up over having the attack as I have been attack free for so long. We definitely are our own worst enemy. *sigh*

[SooooooStressed]

If I knew the answer to that, I would be panic free.
I just sometimes have to tell myself to calm down because if it is a full blown panic attack it will (as usual) ruin my whole day.
Kinda ***** becuase you do miss out on things...like feelings.  
Wish someone else would respond for you becsuse I must seem like a downer to you..I am just telling you my experience.

[Prizma]

How do you handle situations like this? It would be nice to feel excitement and not anxiety over an event :(

[SooooooStressed]

In a very short response to your main question... YES, sometimes I find myself thinking "this can't be anxiety because it is a GOOD thing that is happening!"

It is a horrible way to go thru life always being anxious and not being able to live in the excitement of the moment.

Oh and happy birthday!!  I hope you can find some excitement without the panic!

love & blessings...  ~V