Panic...or something worse

[Panic1981]

So I have been reading these threads for years and find them to be such a source of support. There are times where I feel like nobody understands what I am going through. You see, my problem is not OBVIOUS...like a broken leg, etc. I am a 32 year old male that suffers from severe hypochondriasis. I am fairly certain I have recently developed panic disorder. I have had issues with hypochondriasis/depression (associated with feeling sick) since my teens. I received some treatment, but it was never 'serious' until I finished Graudate School. Since then I have had three major periods of time where I believed that I would never feel better. THey generally lasted around 6 months and then one day they were just gone. Over the years I have convinced myself that I have every disease known to man...including obscure forms of cancer, heart disorders, etc. Finallya few years ago I tried Lexapro and after a few months It really started to work for me. I later had to switch to Citalopram and did not notice a difference. I eventually progressed to 40 mg of Citalopram and I barely even noticed that I was taking it. In fact, there were days that I forgot to take the drug and that would lead to brain zaps, etc. This brings me to the present....Last Christmas I had a terrible panic attack (of which I had only had 3 or 4 of in my life previously) while driving to my parents house. There was no obvious reason for this attack and it scared me to death. Primary symptoms were weird body sensations, feelings of having to pass out, racing thoughts, uncontrollable fear, lethargy, rapid heart beat, etc. The weird thing is that I felt like I had a hang-over for 3 days after that. My life has not been the same since this day. Quite honestly this has been the worst year of my life. Over the past 10 months I have become so anxious, fearing another attack will come, that I am scared to leave my house. I still go to work and go to the gym, but I am miserable. I feel tired all the time, have werid tingly sensations all over my body and worst of all, every-time I walk around I feel dizzy like I am going to fall over. While I have yet to pass out, the feeling is so overwhelming that I would rather just isolate myself from the world. THis is, of course, difficult because I have a full-time job that requires me to move around and I havea  wife that no matter how hard I try does not understand panic and hypochondria. I have had tons of tests upt o this point. CLear MRI, liver ultrasound, CT Scan, vestibular testing, allergy testing, etc. I even had sinus surgery to have a mucocele removed. Absolutely nothing has helped the dizziness and I feel like I'm getting worse. I am scared to let the outside world know what is going on with me so I just try to avoid people. That was ok for awhile, but it's now been going on ten months and people are starting to notice. Panic attacks are also happening much more frequently now. I am constantly scared of another one happening and feel like I am having micro-attacks all day long. I was such an outgoing and vivacious person and I feel like this has robbed me of my humanity. Sometimes I feel like it's not worth it to live this way. After my initial attack in December I swtiched off of the Citalopram (believing that it was no longer working) and tried Lexapro. I had really bad side effects so I then tried Effexor. THe side effects on that drug were even worse so I switched to Prozac. The major side effect of the Prozac was dizziness, but I did feel a little better for awhile (or at least that's what I'm telling myself). I was also given Ativan, but because I am aware of the addictive quality of benzo's I am very heistant to take them. I have only used around 5 of my 120 pills in the past 8 months. It's getting to the point, however, where I don't know if I can face my day anymore without the Ativan. I don't want to become an addict, but I am desperate. I digress....after around 3 months I switched off of the Prozac back to the Citalopram...They offered me Cymbalta, but I was scared of the side effects....Counseling is too expensive and has never worked for me in the past.....the Citalopram is not working at all after 3 months (at 40 mg)...I am seeing a Neurologist on 11/11 and am scared that I have MS or something like that. THe funny thing is that I know how ridiculous I sound, but I can't convince my body to follow what my brain knows is logical. It's so frustrating and makes me feel very hopeless. HELP!!!! I need some advice on what to try next. What medications have worked for Panic Disorder? Do my symptoms..brain fog, panic, chest pains, tingling sensations, foot pain and chronic dizziness sound like anything anyone else has experienced? Please help me.....

[Panic1981]

Thanks for the kind words. I'll check it out

[Panic1981]

It's good to know there are others out there like me. I've never actually talked to one in person. I'm serious...lol...I mostly keep the extent of my problem hidden because I feel like people don't understand. It's really gotten bad recently. I don't want to leave the house and feeling very hopeless. I've also been googling symptoms and tests, which makes me even more sure I have MS....or something worse. I just can't shut off my brain. It's 24 hours a day all I think about no matter how hard I try not to.

[Mindylee86]

Your not alone ! I suffer with health aniexty everyday is something new with me what has helped me my counsler has me write 3 things that went well today and why then for 10 mins I write what I'm grateful for do this for 30 days I've notice a difference when I skip a day .. I'm so tired of this as well they want me to get back on lexapro :/

[Mozxanax]

I gave all the symptoms up you have in varying degrees. I won't go into detail but trust me you are not alone. Once in awhile I Read someone's post where I suggest reading Dr. Claire Weeks books. I discovered her books years ago before you heard about panic attacks and anxiety, the first time after years of suffering that I found out I was not an alien, or alone. She described almost every symptom I had, the reasons behind them and skills I could use to cope. She also mentioned peoplemshe had worked with with varying symptoms. They are similar but people are also different in circumstances and temperament. Her books can ne purchased used or new very cheap on Amazon. She also made recordings still available. I'll never forget her British, intelligent but encouraging voice and way of expressing and connecting to the listener. She lived to an old age and passed away several years ago. I still think of her as an understanding friend, and though she's gone I bless her and feel thankfulness. I encourage you to check out her writings along with your other treatments and doctor's care. God bless.