Pregnant and fearing HIV

[bloomingfox]

I am currently 8 months pregnant and suffering with a terrible fear of HIV. I have been told that OCD behaviour is very common in pregnancy and is down to hormones but I am suffering on a day to ay basis and need some advice. I have been to the doctor and was told that they would write to a councellor and I should wait for an appointment to come through but I want some relief from this now. My problem is blood, I am not squeamish but I am obsessed with the thought that any mark I see on anythingis contaminated blood. Yesterday I had a pile of post on my dining room table and when I opened an envelope it had a mark on it that I straight away assumed to be contaminated blood so I had to throw everything on the table away and now I won't go anywhere near the table for fear of contamination, plus I am worried about the fact that when I had  originally picked the post up (days ago) I probably put it down on the table and then went around the house touching things (laundry etc). Now today I have a new fear, to cut a long story short, we had to move out of our new build apartment for four weeks back in Novemeber beacuse it had some major faults (damp etc) and the builders corrected these faults and redocorated throughout and we moved back in at the beginning of December, today I was sorting through boxes in our storage cupboard when I discovered some red marks on the wall (my husband said it looked like something had been scraped along the wall) straight away I was thinking oh my god loads of stuff has touched that wall when we were moving stuff back in, I now don't want to go in the cupboard but know I have to as coats, my handbag and many things I need on a day to day basis are in that cupboard, plus I wiped it away with anti bacterial spray and am now worried I have contaminated myself. I am slowly going crazy, I know there is a small chance it was blood and if it was it was dry blood, but what if something had touched it while it was wet? I also know that the chance that one of the builders had HIV is small, but everything is WHAT IF????? Please help.

[zuchowra]

You know how many times i was so worried i had AIDS. I was so so scared. Any woman i was with it was just such a fear. I went for testing and it ate me alive. However what your behavior you are talking about is deff OCD. I have it to. Your mind just doesnt stop. No matter how much you try to tell yourself nope this cant happen its deff no possible. Its just a constant battle between you and yourself. To ease your mind.. trust me you cant get AIDS from dry blood. The 2nd the blood hits the air or gets on something ... the cells die. Now if you told me you had unprotected sex with multiple people... Yea then i would be worried. I know its difficult but this should not be a worry. I know how you feel. You feel your going nuts and will never get better. I went through it. I still go through it. Im going to go talk to someone on Tues to help me through my battles. Its going to be ok. No worries. You dont have AIDS.

[nursegirl6572]

Your problem isn't an HIV risk, rather, your problem is your OCD-like thinking and behaviors.  It simply isn't normal to have the need to wash and change clothes after touching a red mark on an envelope.  

Put it this way...even IF a person with HIV had bled on an envelope that you handled (or licked), you STILL would not become infected.  The virus does not have the capability to infect when it is outside of its host (the body).  Infection must occur INSIDE the body where the virus is preserved.  This is why actions like unprotected sex poses a risk, yet why sharing glasses and utensils, and toilet seats...do not.

You need to seek professional help to get you through this.  

[bloomingfox]

Thank you, your post has made me feel a whole lot better. It seems to be something that is now happening on a daily basis, yesterday was fine until the afternoon when again a letter I received had a blob of red on it (although there was a load of red print on the envelope, this was a seperate blob) at first I thought it looked like print and then stupidly I scratched at it with my finger and it started to scratch away and then even more stupidly I licked the finger I had scratched it with a tried to wipe it away (it did wipe away which made me think it definately wasn't print). I then started to panic and had to wash my mouth round and get changed out of my clothes, but it always seems that a couple of hours later I start to rationalise the situation and think, the chances are it wasn't blood and even if it was the chances that the person who it came from had hiv are very small, and I am also starting to tell myself now that there is nothing I can do about something that has already happened. It just seems that I am on the constant lookout for anything red!! But honestly I really am trying and comments like yours REALLY ARE HELPING!

[nursegirl6572]

"And you have to have a open cut and touch FRESH blood for there to even be a chance"

Not true at all.  For the "blood to blood" scenario to pose even the SLIGHTEST of HIV risks...you would have to be in a situation where you had a VERY severe gaping hemorrhaging wound that was exposed to someone else's gaping hemorrhaging wound (think auto accident with catastrophic injuries).  That is just another poor misconception about HIV.

OP...your doc is right....you need to address the anxiety and irrational thinking with a professional before it gets even more out of control.  You are worrying about things that are NOT issues whatsoever.  YOU CANNOT GET HIV FROM ENVIRONMENTAL SURFACES, PERIOD.

Go to my profile page and then to my journals...I posted a journal called "HIV:The Facts"...that will put a lot into perspective about the virus.  You are torturing yourself over urban myths and the general public's ignorance about HIV.  HIV IS VERY VERY VERY DIFFICULT TO GET!!!!  IT IS NOT THE COMMON COLD.  HIV requires a set of near perfect circumstances to allow for transmission.  You would be better served worrying about lightning strikes.

Get yourself some help, and this kind of anxiety and irrational thinking is very unhealthy for you and will only continue to spiral out of control if you don't address it NOW.

[kalie1979]

Sounds like you are tormenting yourself. As soon as blood hits air, everything in it is dead. And you have to have a open cut and touch FRESH blood for there to even be a chance. And that would be a very low chance. Being a clean freak is great, but don't let it consume you. But why is there such a bad fear of HIV? Is there something that has happened to you in the past?

Kalie