Question for stay at home moms

[suzi-q]

As some of you know, I am a kindergarten teacher and my job is a saving grace...if I don't get out of the house and am occupied, I am miserable...Summer vacation is on the way...most people think I am so lucky...NOT!  Last summer I was home with my daughter who is now 2.  I have a beautiful pool in my backyard...but I am panicking already that I am going to be filled with anxiety and depressed when I am home..i want to be able to enjoy the summer with my daughter...she is wonderful and deserves it, but I get so agoraphobic that I don't want to go out and I get very depressed because I feel this way...any suggestions to help me, so I can give my daughter the best that she deserves???

[suzi-q]

I am in NJ...it is not an option to "go back home" right now...settled in my house and just finished major renovations on the yard.  would love to enjoy it for a while...But believe me, the thought has crossed my mind...I will have to do what is best for my daughter....like one poster said, I will be anxious no matter what...so at least I will be helping my daughter when I go out...

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND SUGGESTIONS!!!

jamieo----come to the pool...the thought of driving up to you totally sickens me!!!!  (lol)

[bip]

I thought that was a good idea what the last post said maybe you can find someone on here who lives near you cause we are all here together. What state do you live in? I live in mass.

[Angel13]

I am a stay at home mom of a two year old boy.  He is very active and loves to be outside.  It is hard for me because I hate being outside.  I'm just trying to do my best.  I try to keep him busy which is hard.  My Mom will watch him a few days a week so I can just sit back and relaxe.  Having Social Anxiety is making this hard for me.  All we can do is try to make things good for our children.  I am doing (I hope so) the best I can do.  Just take one day at a time.  And hope tomorrow is a better day.  Take care.........

Angel

[suzi-q]

Thank you for your advice and kind words.  I will have to look into a play group.  I live in NJ but all my friends are in NY (where I am originally from).  I can meet up with them sometimes, but not often...I will look to see what is going on in my area!  Thanks again!

[Raine9]

A play group is probably a good idea.  If you can't find one, you can always go to the park or the play areas at the mall.  There's always kids playing there and your daughter can join right in.  But I have a hard time staying home too.  I have been on maternity leave for the past year.   Staying home is tough becauase it just gives me too much time to think.  I will be returning to work in Sept.  I have mixed emotions about it.  I want to got back but I worry about putting my 1 year old son in day care.

Good luck and try to enjoy!

[suzi-q]

thank you!  I will do the park..but OH NO!!! NOT THE MALL!!!  lol!!!

I was nervous about daycare in the beginning also, but now I love it!  my daughter is an only child and she gets lots of social interaction there.  they do lots of fun things too, like arts and crafts...It truly has been a blessing!!  I am keeping her in daycare 2 days a week becuase I don't want her to get out of the swing of it...I am sure it will work out fine..just make sure you really like the one you choose and have good "feelings" about it!!

[longingforpeace]

having a two year old is very tiring - when my kids were younger I arranged to meet other moms regularly   - that got me out and kept my mind on other things - and my kids loved it because they played and played.  can you join a play group in your area?  
thanks for all the posting that you do - I like to read your posts because they are always positive

[jaimeo]

sooooooo....
lots of visits to the zoo with Harry and Griff and Sammy
and we'll visit the pool with you!
Have a good weekend

[be still my beating heart 13]

I am a stay at home mom of a three year old girl and two month old boy.  All of the advice you've gotten here is great!!!  I too take my daughter to the park, and have several friends with children her age that she plays with.  I have social anxiety and am trying desperately to avoid my daughter developing it as well.  Anxiety is genetic in some, but it can also be TAUGHT!!  I tell myself, "I'm anxious at home, I may as well do something to benefit my daughter, no matter how uncomfortable it is for me, and we'll BOTH benefit from it."  I consider it exposure therapy for me and my daughter is learning social skills that I am still trying to master.  In fact it's working for her too well.  Because she meets so many new kids at the park, and sees me talking to new people with everyvisit, she never meets a stranger, which is both good and bad.  But I would rather her be outgoing and have to watch her like a hawk, than to have her be reclusive and want to play by herself like I did when I was little.

When I throw myself into my kids I begin to forget my worries about my heart (my major obsession) and I tell myself, "the anxiety I experience when doing things with them is better than being anxoius at home while my kids just want to go out and play."  My best advice is to plan things that won't make you too uncomfortable, and to look at it as exposure therapy.  Sorry so long, hope this helps!!!

Cori

[tke5768]

Hello Suzi. I was just wondering have you ever thought of going back to your home town, or is that not an option. You could get alot of support. Also maybe check to see if anyone from this forum lives where you live, that could be a support buddy when you need to get out of the house they could meet you, or come over. Whatever you are comfortable with. (just a thought). Hope that does not sound creepy. But were all in this together.

[suzi-q]

Thank you, Bip!  It is true that I LOVE to see her have fun...It makes my heart melt!

[bip]

I would try to keep yourself busy and keep saying to yourself my daughter desreves to go out and play. I work nights but Im home with my 2 boyz in the day they will be getting out of school in a week and me I force my self going out and once Im out there seeing my kids playing having fun I enjoy seeing them having fun. I think you will enjoy seeing your daughter having fun outside. The summer is my favorite season.


Good luck!!!