Ready to commit myself to the looney bin

Ok im really sick sick of this. I have been dealing with this heart stuff for a really long time but for the last five years it really has been everyday. Thats when I discovered the nonsustained vtach. I live in fear every day of my life, I dont do alot of things I dont eat alot of things because of this. Now I have had this stomach pain on and off for at least two-three yrs but lately its been worse. Right in the v part of my stomach it feels like someone is ripping my stomach out or ice picking it, it comes quickly and leaves quickly. But all the same Im so freaked I have something terrible. I also get chest pains alot I have costochrondritis as well arthritis in the ribs. I went to the gastro last thursday and he thinks its acid reflux gave me samples of some meds. I aske if it would affect my heart stuff he said no. So of course I read the inserts and the  omeprazole said sides effects  and palps is one of them. Then the other one he wanted me try if that didnt work is aciphex and it says it can cause nsvt.. Well geezzzzzzzzzz. So now im so freaked I wont take them. I take ativan 0.5mg twice day tried klonopin made me sick. But now its either a tums or ativan, I choose the tums today. Im so tired of this I cant have a break from myself. Had a short run of nsvt today and a really hard pvc last night. I just feel like Im going crazy. I told my husband he could commit me if he wanted to. I just cant cope anymore.  I have anxiety trying a new med and the possible side effects scare me to death. I dont like being me...it really makes me depressed. I just want to be normal.
sorry for ranting

[debaser23]

I'm not sure that committing yourself to the asylum is necessary.  Seems like you have a little A/P disorder and have had a run of bad luck.  Now, I'm not one to advocate talk therapy usually because I think it's pretty useless (for me).  But it might do you some good.  Sounds like you have a lot to get off your chest, and face-to-face with an impartial counselor would probably be best if you have insurance.  If you don't have insurance, there should be some sort of local government entity that can help you.  And a lot of psychotherapists who've already made their pile of cash will talk to people on a sliding scale.

In the meantime, I know it's hard to relax but you have to find some way to get there. And by the way, what is "normal"?  I don't think I've ever met a normal person in my life.  Everybody's got their skeletons.  Not everybody has the problems we have, but look at the activity on this board.  It's one of no telling how many out there on these internets, and it's full of people who've been where you're at.  You're definitely not alone and probably not as far away from being "normal" as you might think!

Best of luck.

[chadry]

You are not alone as far as meds go. I have such a fear of medicine. I have physical problems too that cause me pain and I hate the thought of drugs. I've had W.C. doctors say I refused treatment because I would not take what they prescribed. They did not understand how hard it is for me to take anything that I have not taken in the past that has not bothered me. It took me 2 weeks before to take a new blood pressure med the doc prescribed. I take my trusty old xanax and tylenol. I had to take motrin almost 2 weeks ago for severe pain. I was waiting for some horrible stomach problem to occur and it didn't; No one in my family can understand this thing I have with meds. So you are not alone on this one.Is there any way you can start by taking a little piece and work your way up? I had to do that with muscle relaxers because I was so afraid of them.I can not take the same dosage as other people because of the way things effect me.I can only take a quater of a muscle relaxer when others take a whole one. Sorry I can not help you I am just letting you know I know how you feel. My family doc told me one time not to read all the side effects or I would never take anything. He said they have to list everything. I still read them and then I wish I didn't.Take care,
Chadry

[plisken]

niacin or nicotinicacid, helps w/ stomach problems and nervousness. theyre cheap and
are over the counter drugs.

[Venora Moonwind]

It is time to get therapy to find out why you have such deep rooted fears of the meds.Ussually the die effects from meds occur when they are being abused.I take 3 meds for life. and I feel great .
so get a therapist that will help you work through these issues. good luck
Love Venora