Right I am sick of my mind tormenting me!!!!!

Hi once again it's me and I know you will all be getting sick and tired of me because to be honest, I'm getting sick and tired of my self!!! I know I need help etc but it's not that simple and I just can't :( I just need to know though if it's me or I'm alone. PLEASE I need your help! The thing is, I as you probably already know, have had a problem with my mind for nearly 8 months now. I worry too much, get anxiety over thoughts, depressed to this day and paranoid! Last week out of the blue my mind had a thought over my girlfriend. OK she's not perfect but she's my amazing true love. Now here's the thing, I love her so much, I love how she is, speaks, and looks. Not to mention her personality is amazing! But the thought I had last week was processed as a threat. I saw her and I looked and my thought was like ARE YOU MAD?!?! She doesn't look the type for you. Now because this was out of the blue I said to my self, I love her and I don't care she is beautiful to me! But then of course the more and more I thought about that negative thought the more it became attached to me. Well I was beginning to breakdown. Then the worst happened. At the time my girlfriend never understood what I was going through and she thought I didn't love her! She said if you don't love me just say so, so it saves you faking it! I said I do love you deep down because at that moment, ever since she said that I have now began to question myself on whether I love her or not. I know your going to say, well do you love her or not! YES I DO! but it's hard to show passion now because I have this constant worry and fear over her. I don't feel the same but I am attached to her still! So thanks to my stupid pathetic mind that needs terminating is destroying my love life! She says, I see this as hanging on a thread to our relationship. She says I see this just as a challenge that we need to overcome. You see, she said, she will stick by me no matter what! ISN'T THAT AMAZING? tell me about it but my feelings and thoughts are being processed the wrong way and SPLITTING UP IS NOT AN OPTION! Sorry but I am just fed up and I don't care about my anxiety any more nor do I care about this stupid depression. I just want my
relationship saved. BRING ME THE LOVE BACK that's being blocked my fear!!! I know fear? how crap is that!!! I need someone who has been through the same thing, and KNOWS how to overcome thissssss :'( it hurts so much and I am fed up!!!!!!

Thanks so much!!!

[jul04]

O.K. I have said this to you before as well as some of the others on this forum.  You really need to see a therapist.  However it is only going to work if you are really committed to getting better.  I know that you said your mom would be against you seeing a therapist but honestly have you spoken to her about this?  She loves you and she wouldn't want to see you suffering like this.  However when it really comes down to it this is about you and not your mom.

As far as you relationship goes I think you are very lucky to have your girlfriend.  She seems to really care about you and I think you should try and focus on the good things about your relationship.  No relationship is perfect but you have to stop looking for the bad things and over analyzing things.  You are so young and you need to start really living your life.  

[redding1]

Your anxiety is focused on your relationship with your girlfriend right now. It will eventually target on somthing else. This is just the beginning of your anxiety disorder. You need to realize your obsessing and that is a form of anxiety. Please go see a Psychatrist and they will help you see that you need to start working on this monster before it gets out of control. Your in the beginning stage, so now is the time to get help fast. Your a great person with a big heart, don't let you anxiety get in the way of having a fullfilling life with the people you love.

[richtaz32]

I am in the same boat i have depression for 5 years and believe me it wil pass you need to get help