Road Trip to the In-laws

I am starting to get anxious and depressed about going to see my in-laws (mother and brother), this coming weekend.
I had discussed it with my husband, and at one point he understood that I didnt want to go, one, because it is soooo boring, especially since I cannot drink while I am on the meds I have and second because we recently moved, and had to give our dog to my brother in-law, this past summer, and mentally I am not ready to see her and then leave her again, its just like breaking my heart over again...but for some reason he really wants me to go.
He knows that I have a hard time hiding my emotions, and has asked me not to be a "B" while we are there ( 3 days ), but I dont know what he expects, I had already made plans with my friend for the weekend, now I have to change it to seeing the in-laws.
I thought of taking a book or something to keep me occupied, but that will be misunderstood as being "Btchy".
I am anxious about driving 3.5 hrs to get there in our car, and the effect it will have on my body, sitting so long, and I am anxious that whatever I do I will be under a microscope by my husband.
His family knows about my mental illness', which also bothers me, I feel that they treat me and look at me differently, I know for sure his mother does, as she worked in a mental institute, and she is very nosey.
This whole thing has got me bothered already and we dont leave until Saturday.

[M4Y0U]

Hello there,

This is a tricky question and there is not a lot of advices with can give you on this issue. I think you should talk about it with your husband first and seriously and telling him all and i mean all your concerns and there's something else you could do to ease your mind and prepare yourself for that. It is as simple as giving them a phone call! Call them before you go there, talk with them a bit before you go there. It will make you feel more confortable and will releive some of the stress related to seing them again. Maybe you talk on the phone about your feelings too.

It is my opinion and like i said it is a tricky situation but i tried my best to give you my best advices.

Best regards,
M4

[Julie359]

I am so sorry that ur husband doesn't seem very supportive, to have not only someone tell u, but ur own husband tell u to not behave like a 'B' is just awlful!!! He is mean't to be there an support u in this time of anxiety...... The only thing i can say is maybe you need to sit down and have another go at taking to him and if he refuses to listen and u feel this strongly about going then u know what....if it was me i just wouldn't go!! You have to remember don't feel bullied into anything u don't want to do and stand up for ur feelings cause it seems that he isn't... he is just telling u to stop acting stupid and do as u are told and no man no matter what has the right to make u feel like that......

Good luck xx

[doctora]

Well I went.
I started thinking that one of the issues between me and my husband is that we dont spend a lot of time alone, and we certainly havent gone anywhere in a long time alone.
He is right that we wont have a lot of time left with his mother, she is 69, and not in the best of health, plus they helped us through hard financial times and were able to take our dog when we moved into our apt.
I started thinking that I could see my friend anytime, but I cant see my in laws anytime really due to distance, plus it would be time with my husband alone.
My husband sounds like a tyriant I know, but he isnt. He has been through a lot with me and my physical and mental health along with the fact that we have been married 26yrs now and have been together 30yrs, so he knows me very well. At times we act more like we are brother and sister the way we argue, but on the other hand we did grow up together.
There were a couple of times during our visit that I had to bite my tongue, but other than that I survived.
I always seem to get myself all worked up over nothing.
In a way, my bi-polar comes in handy. The fact that it also includes borderline personality disorder, I just slip into my quiet persona, and fit right in to the situation..LOL.
Thanks for the advice.

[Julie359]

Well i'm glad it all worked out in the end...... xx