SEPARATION ANXIETY

[MAZZER]

Hi I am posting this question for my husband who has suffered most of his life with separation anxiety, it started when he was about 4 yrs old and now he is 52.
When he was a little boy he worried if his parents went anywhere without him although hes not an only child he is the eldest of 3.  He said he always had a feeling of desertion when he was alone and worried that something awful like death would happen to them.
Now hes a man and this has never left him although when we married it stopped being his parents that caused him the anxiety and it became me.

Its awful for me too because although he 'allows' me to go to work he does not like me going anywhere else without him he gets frantic with worry.  I know its not jealousy there is no aggression, but if he thinks I am going anywhere (I do keep in touch with my friends) which means going for the odd meal and visiting each other, he goes into extreme panic he cant eat or sleep he shakes and will cry.  I find this very very difficult to deal with because I have to live my life.

He does not take any medication but has in the past which has not helped him he has also had councelling and hypnotherapy which again has not helped we have gone over and over his youth to try to find if anything could have triggered this but nothing can be found.
I have never heard of another adult having this have you?

[socgirl]

Hi There,

Yes..I have heard of an adult suffering from this disorder.  I am a clinical social worker and a number of my client suffer from anxiety disorders.  it definitely is a disorder that is majorly affecting your life and your husband's.  It sounds like it could be a form of ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder).  Children with OCD are often diagnosed with separation anxiety.  OCD is a form of anxiety.  The reason why it's important to differentiate is because the treatments for OCD and generalized anxiety are different.  Some people have the common misconception that OCD is something that affects all aspect's of one's life and in severe cases, that's true.  It seems your husband only has these peristent thoughts of something bad happening to you when you are away...either way, it's an obsessive thought for him and he honestly can't control it.  I know you've said he has tried meds and therapy in the past, but I would reccommend going to see a psychiatrist.  cognitive therapy is often useful for anxiety disorders and the medication luvox is often helpful for OCD.  Check into it and see what your husband and doctor think.  Let me know if I can be of any more assistance.

[MAZZER]

Thanks for your reponse it was good to hear that someone else had heard of this disorder, he once visited a Psychiatrist but not for very long, he stopped going because he felt really bad about himself after each visit and couldn't understand him, he said the chap talked too much and gave him too much to think about, my husband is a fairly quite man although when he is with his friends he is comical too.  None of our circle of friends knows he suffers like this, although I have confided in two of my girlie friends and he is ok with that he understands I need to talk to someone.  I wish he could talk to someone but he just cant.

I think you could have something in the OCD therory, the Psychiatrist didn't mention that to him, although he did say he could also have AHD because he does not listen very well to what is being said and he does seem to switch off especially when he doesn't understand something.

He knows I am communicating in this foram and I think he will be very interested in what you had to say.  THANK YOU SO MUCH.