Saving my relationship with my parents.

I have had trouble with my mother ever since I turned 18. I recently just moved out unexpectedly because I just couldn't handle it anymore. I over heard a conversation my mother was having with her sister and saying bad things about me while still contadicting herself about it at the same time. She called me a '*****' and said I was out in the streets doing Lord knows what; on the other hand she said  I was very responsible and did my own thing rather than my older brother (who happens to do drugs and drink regularly). Keep in mind this wasn't actually the first time she expressed herself like that about me. I am 19 going on 20 and this started over a year ago. I'm not trying to say I'm the best child, because I know I'm not, but when I know I haven't done anything to dishonor my parents name I think it is very unfair for her to judge me that way when she was the one that raised me. Shouldn't she trust herself in how she raised me? I know she feels terrible and feels as if she failed as a mother because of how my brother turned out but she should at least have a little faith in me.
On the other hand I had always had a really good relationship with my dad up until about a year ago when she started to turn my dad against me as well. She would tell him that I wasn't doing anything for myself, eventhough I had enetered a community college (to save them money) but because that was not good enough for her. She said that it was not a real education and wouldn't get passed that thought. She even started saying that I manipulated my dad through out my childhood because I would always get everything I wanted from him. When in reality I remember most of the time it being her telling me to go tell my dad to get me such things. I even talked my dad into buy a new bedroom for him and my mother upon my mother's request. I still got blamed for that.
She constatly brings up her relationship with her mother and how she failed as a daughter as well when in reality she was actually the only good enough child my grandma had. My mom was the only one there before she past away. No one else wanted to go see her at the nursery home. She was in a nursery home because non of her other two daughters wanted to take care of her even thought they had no jobs or anything. My mom was the only one at the time with a job and couldn't quit to take care of my grandma 24/7. My mother feels somewhat guilty for having her in a nursery home so she blames herself for it every day.
I feel like my brother's bad turn out lowered my mom's selfesteem and made her doubt herself even more. I couldn't stick around to watch my brother make my mom's life miserable and my mom not do anything about it. I would tell her to kick him out the house to put him out in the streets on his own so he could appreciate money and that way he won't have any to be spending on drugs and alcohol if he had some responsibilities. She said she couldn't do it. That she'd rather have him do it under her sight then some where out there where she wouldn't know what cuold happen to him. My dad says my brother isn't stupid and knows what he's doing which I agree wtih. It's just the stupid decisions he makes and is aware of the harm yet does it anyway.
I also have a younger sister. My mother says I need to be more like her because whenever they argue my sister talks back to her. My sister never has anything nice to say. I don't understand why she wants me to disrespect her and insult her like my sister does. She says that she'd rather me say something than stay quiet because she doesn't know what I'm thinking. I thought silence in an argument with your parents was better than talking back. Is that wrong of me? Also, the thing that hurts me the most is when she sat down to talk to my aunt and I overheard she said that her last hope was my sister because I had already failed to her as a daughter. The thing that makes it worse is that when my mother and my sister argue my sister turns around and mumbles horrible things like 'I hope you die' and 'I wish I was never born into this family'. I can't tell my mom that because it will destroy her.
The point is, now that I moved out they hate me even more. I moved out because I thought it was the best for me and on starting a new relationship with y mother, but the one that took it the hardest was my dad. I know I've always been a daddy's little girl so I know I brought him down with this decision and doesn't understand what would drive me to do such thing. I kills me inside to know that I hurt my dad this much. My dad isn't one to ecpress his feelings either so I know it's slowly killing him inside to think that I betrayed him. That's what hurts me the most.
I've been soind some research online about what possibly went wrong from day one and I came to find that it could have been emotional incest. Everything described is exactly what I went trhough and I'm facing. My mom would go into her psycho phases when she would have arguements with my brother and saying that she was going to kill herself to make everything better for everyone else. It hearts to hear my  mother say those kinds of things. I haven't been able to maintain a relationship because I think I'm going to end up like my mom or never be good enough for even a man. Or a man is never enough for me because I'm looking for someone just like my dad to comfort all the pain inside me.
As a person I think I'm doing great. I graduated high school. Did dual credit in high school so I entered college as a sophomore not a freshman. I got a job and I'm curretly licensed as a Sales Agent selling car insurance and I'm working my way up into getting licensed for owners and life insurance. My mother still doesn't see that.
My dad doesn't want to hear from me now that I moved and it's slowly killing me inside to know that. I need my dad. I loved them both and need them both. I just needed to get out of the house and fix myself and not let my mother bring down my self esteem before I tried to fix things with them. Now I feel like things just got out of control and can't fix anything at all.
What should I do now? Is there still hope that things are going to get better? Should I be worried that they're just going to get worse? Has anyone else been through the same thing?
I just want to get my parents back before it's too late.