Scared to Death of Death!!!

Hey there,

My fear of Death seems to be pretty bad at the moment. Its not so much a fear of dying and the pain, but fear of what will happen to me after. I just cant imagine not existing any more, I cant think about not being able to see my loved ones, hear the birds, taste lovely foods, being happy and living life. I just keep thinking about forever being in darkness, unaware that I ever existed and never existing again, just makes me think what's the point in it all, there must be some meaning to this life!

I just wish that someone could tell me that life doesn't just end. Why does it have to be so scary.

Anyone else have this fear?

xx

[drifter0213]

death is a part of life :)

[crazycow]

So you are not at all scared of what it will be like to be dead?

[worrydsik]

I also have an extreme fear of dying...I believe that is what causes my health anxiety and my general anxiety...I don't want to die and the thought alone sends me to panic...I don't worry about anything after death..my fear is not being alive anymore and leaving people behind...the sad reality is it will happen to all of us at one point....I'm trying to learn to focus on the NOW and not the what Ifs and the future...but your not alone...I remember having this fear as a child.

[Alisonj29]

My biggest fear. Since my dad died at 40 and I am almost 35 it scares me even more. It is so frustrating. We are wasting our lives fearing something we have no control over. The only thing that I try to put in my mind is that for every second I spent worrying about dying I have wasted living. I am beginning to think that with death its the loved ones that feel the most pain and impact.
As scary as it is, try and focus on now. Live for each day.

[Amber98]

I don't think it's 'abnormal' for us to be scared about death. Yes, I worry about it more than anyone else in my family because I'm not religious like they are, and I worry more than my friends because they are young and seem to be oblivious to the fact that we are going to die. I used to be like that too, and then one day it just hit me. I think the reason it hit me is the same reason as the girl who commented above me. My father died at a young age,so now I fear the same thing. But I also think like you, like what is the point of all this. When I start really thinking about there being 'nothing' after life, I drive myself crazy and I have to do something else.

Yes I think we may have more death anxiety than the average person, but I think most people just block the thought out of their head. I now use it to my advantage to see the better things in life. When people argue with me or when I have a hard day at work, I just think, in the whole realm of things, this isn't a big deal at all. We worry so much about things that don't really matter. All we can do is live in the moment and enjoy it. I think my death fear has allowed me to do that a bit more. I don't want to force my views on you, I personally believe in evolution and think we are basically just going through cycles with life having little meaning, BUT I can create meaning for myself and my loved ones.
Are you young as well? My mom says my fear will go away once I have children. She said at that point you stop worrying about your own fear of death because you know you just need to watch over your kids and make sure they grow up healthy, and then you've accomplished everything.

But if you need something more, then you should probably try to find your spiritual side. Read into different religions, see what the meaning of life is for others. Just because I'm not religious, doesn't mean I don't have a spiritual side within. Meditation and yoga helps too :)

[crazycow]

Thanks for the replies, its good to know im not alone with this fear.
Amber98 you may be right, finding a spiritual side would probably help, although that will be difficult when my other half is an atheist.

[crazycow]

I think the worst thing is knowing that you will have to do it ALONE

[mammo]

You describe all the beautiful things you feel you will miss, are you taking time out from worrying about death to enjoy them now?  Live your life and not miss a moment of it!  You don't know you will be alone, none of us know for sure what happens.  There are just too many unknowns to think about.  Enjoy the life you've been given. Fear of dying is a normal thing, it's not until we become obcessed with it that it becomes a problem.  We don't remember being born, or what happened prior to that and I feel death will be the same.  I think therapy would be a big help for you in learning how not to obcess over this. Live in the moment, and as was stated above, don't worry so much about the "what ifs."  Visit your local hospital where there are people from newborns to the elderly that know their time is near and you will gain a new perspective for your health and life.  I've been where you are, and you're wasting valuable time with this worry.  I hope you find some peace with it all and take care.

[Bernard38]

Hello im talking about this fear of not existing to a Counsellor at moment it helps to know im  not alone
I can only conclude my parents should have held me and comforted as a kid when this existential panic arose
I think thats all they can do or should ahve done to comfort us as we know we cany change the reality
Do you panic badly as i would run out into the street screaming or if i dont i just cry
Bernard

[Bernard38]

Hello im talking about this fear of not existing to a Counsellor at moment it helps to know im  not alone
I can only conclude my parents should have held me and comforted as a kid when this existential panic arose
I think thats all they can do or should ahve done to comfort us as we know we cany change the reality
Do you panic badly as i would run out into the street screaming or if i dont i just cry
Bernard

[Cheers]

I have been writing about this for YEARS!! I so hear ya... here are some of my writings on it if you are interested.

http://heatherrayne.wordpress.com/2005/05/04/scared-to-death-of-death/

http://heatherrayne.wordpress.com/2011/05/11/how-to-really-help-someone-with-depression-or-anxiety/

http://heatherrayne.wordpress.com/2007/09/20/in-the-tornado-of-health-anxiety/

http://heatherrayne.wordpress.com/2006/02/09/a-peek-into-an-anxiety-attack/

http://heatherrayne.wordpress.com/2006/03/30/exhausting-vigilance/

[ayb]

well....i had a panic attack 2years ago....i had shortness of breath...anxiety...when i came back from the hospital,it started:my fear of death,i'm 23,and i'm pretty religious,and knowing that i'm gonna be dead somtime makes me up all night thinking that i'll die if i sleep,well,i'm trying to have faith in god,and do the good things,and stay away from the bad ones,because once you die that's all what you can leave;GOOD THINGS

[MoMorrison]

My death anxiety began with my first major panic attack back in August of 2011. I had never experienced anything like it ever, so of course, I thought I was dying. I took a trip to the ER and Doctor said everything was fine with my Xrays and blood work. Till this day...close to 6 months later, I suffer from "air hunger" which in turn makes me have anxiety about dying. It's a vicious cycle and I wish that I didn't have to deal with it, but I am just thankful to be living regardless of what my over active anxious mind is telling me...