Seever anxiety....please help me.. if you can..

Hi my name is Kay. Im 20 years old and Ive been suffering from severe anxiety for about 5 years now. Its so bad that I havent been able to leave the house in 3 months. I havent seen our town mall in 2 years. I had to cancel going to college and cant get a job to help out my family. I cant hang out with friends, visit family members..go out shopping, eat at restaurants..I am not able to do anything I want to, even go for walks with my dog or car rides with my family. Even having friends over is really hard...which is why Ive lost most of my friends. I feel fine all day and the minute someone mentions leaving the house I feel sick and feel as though I have to run to the washroom to throw up. Then I feel sick the rest of the day. I start to get dizzy and hot and my head starts to sweat. All my roots get soaked and I feel like Im going to faint. The main symptom though is that im going to vomit and that doesnt go away. Ive been on Effexor for 3 years and it has not helped. Im on prevacid, domperidome,buscopan and was recently just put on paxil...also a few other pills that I cant recal the name. Im 20 years old and I take 8 pills a day....I do not want to live like this forever...plus I dont want to live my life being forced to stay in my house forever either. There would be no point to living. I just want to be normal. This all started in grade 10 for no reason and with no warning...I just felt sick and I thought it was the flu..but it stayed everyday causing me to miss alot of school in highschool...having to quit a few months before graduating..but having a doctors not to get my diploma...I missed my graduation..my prom..which I counted the days down since grade 9 for id say...I havent been able to ever party with friends...go shopping with friends..go out to bars..I cant leave my house...I get soo depressed about this that I start having a hard time seeing why I should live this life. Ive tried other kinds of treatment....ginger pills...esodynamics...nothing has helped me..I just want to give up. Im at a point where I dont even know what to do anymore. My family is getting annoyed and is starting to think im making this up. My doctor just keeps uping my dosage and adding in more pills...I dont want to be on pills my whole life...especially if they arent even working...can anyone please help me...I havent even had the chance to really live my life yet...or do anything normal ppl do at 20 years old....or any year actually....what can I do to help this stop. I cant take it anymore... I want to leave the house so bad and everytime I try and I get sick...it makes it even harder to try the next time. I havent seen the outside in 3 months and I want to just quit....please help me.. thank you for reading this..

[ativan]

Hi there, I can relate to most of your symptoms and its really hard, but your so young you must get this under control, you sound to me has if your highly sadated with medication, but theres only your doctor that can help there, you musent stop any of them before you talk to him, I will tell you how I cope, I get angry with it and I tell myself all the time you can do it, take shopping thats hard for me, I get in the car and say over and over again you can do it , you can do it, Im not saying its easy cos its not. your 20years old dont let this bully get the better of you, cos thats what anxiety is its a big bully and you have to treat it like a bully and tell it were to go, just try and say to yourself i,m not going to let this win i,m going to fight this. its not easy but please try, your post was so like I am so I know how you feel, good luck. (DON,T LET IT WIN.)

[johanni]

Honey,you need to find a new doctor!This guy is just popping you silly with pills!You need a good doctor to properly diagnose you and give you the right treatment and medication.CBT is also invaluable for your condition.The mere fact that you take all that medication alone ,will make you sick.But, as ativan suggested, never stop the medication unless you are under a doctors supervision.I wouldnt be surprised if Effexor made you worse.I myself had a very bad experience with it.It increased my anxiety 10x over.Hope u feel better soon.Keep us posted,
Dimi.

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

kay, i know how you feel i got anxiety around 20 years old i had two small babies abd a hubby i didnt want to go out siode either but i made myself , you cant give in, its not going to kill you , but you need help with meds . get another dr and ask him for help, i do not take any ssri,like paxil,zolf i cant but i do take klonopin, its a great med and can be used for long term, if you take it twice a day it will get your life back under control and you will be able to go malls and live again. ask a dr about it , once you get it under control you can come off of it . but you need a jump start. nothing wrong with taking a med like your told to to get your life back, it took the med to get me undercontrol and i only took it two weeks, now am ogg have not had a pill in 4 months still have some anxiety but i fight it and deal with it , get some good books about anxiety they can help claire weeks is great. we are here for you , your to young to give up on life hang in there it can and will get better if you want it to and get some help, cant do byself. if you need to talk always come on here ,very sweet and helpfull folks on here , we are all in same boat. Barbara

[WhiteCrow]

It does sound like you're just being fed a monstrous amount of pills.    I can really understand how terrible you feel, as I've been through it too, with many of the same symptoms that you described, and some even worse.   It feels totally hopeless right now,  I know, but please believe me that it isn't.   You can overcome this, and you can have an absolutely wonderful life.  

Aside from finding a doctor that is actually interested in helping you overcome this, what you need to get into the habit of doing is stop trying to resist the anxiety.   Flow with it.   Make it a part of you, even.   Understand that it is just an emotion, like any other, and that all of the irrational fears that come with it are just that... irrational.    The more you directly resist the anxiety and fear, the stronger it becomes.    Take away the only tool it has to harm you;  the fear.    This can be done a variety of ways.    Meditation, refocusing, exercise, and sometimes just the basic acceptance of the feelings can disarm anxiety when used correctly.  

This won't happen overnight, and it will take a great deal of mental discipline to achieve.  But I promise you, it is possible to beat this, and I also promise you that when you master it and fully take control of these horrible feelings inside you, you will actually be a better than you would have ever been without having to suffer through this.   You will be far stronger mentally and emotionally than the majority of people living out there completely out of touch with themselves.  

You are not crazy, you are not broken, and you will get through this.   Just be strong, and make sure that you find somebody who can tell you which of those medications are helping, and which are hurting you.  

[bowla004]

I know what your going through sweetie. Im 23 and i am almost housebound. I had to cancel thanksgiving cause i was afraid to go out of the house. I feel like im going to pass out in front of people. But i have been trying. With me if i have plans to go out of the house i dwell on it so much that i make myself sick. I find that what helps me is if i go out spontanasly out of the house not even thinking about it. Or invite friends over when ever i feel like it so i don't have time to dwell on it. Thats whats been helping me alot lately. It has been five months now and i think im finally getting better. One of my friends who had the same problem as me told me how she got over it. She just said if i get sick i get sick who cares i bring a paper bag and throw up in. But she found out as she started to go out she felt so much better and surprisingly never got sick it made her feel better. Everytime i go out it makes me feel so much better. Like i conquered the anxiety. And you begen to get happy.  Just know you are not alone.

[kaylaroo]

Thank you for your support everyone...it means so much to me.. And your all right...I can't let this get to me..Im only 20 years old...Ive had it since I was 15....I havent even been able to live and be a normal teenager or person. And bowla004...I know what you mean..I couldnt go visit any family members on christmas...my christmas was pretty much ruined because I wasnt able to go see family...I had to stay home the whole time.. And sometimes when I do things spontaneasly it helps me aswell...but only if its things such as going for a ride knowing im not going to get out the vehicle....I myself carry a bag with me in my purse at all times and have for over a year, but I dont find it helping....it does when im with my family sometimes...and ill say its ok if i throw up in the van I got a back I dont have to feel embarrassed and stupid and ask my dad to stop the car.. But I have a really hard time even just inviting friends over...I had invited my friend over to exchange christmas gifts and I used to be with her everyday shes a close friend...and I got really sick and got like a hot flash and had to throw up..once she got here i sat down with some ginger ale and it got better..but everytime something like that happens it makes it even harder to want to do it the next time. I agree when I go out and I feel good...than it makes me feel great..like you said you conquered it and didnt let it get to you...but that feeling only lasts for that night...if I was to try going out again the very next day it would go back to being hard as can be. On christmas day my parents bought me a video camera...there was no tapes included so my mom found out a drug store was open for a few hours and that we would run there and pick up a tape so I could record the holidays....I knew that the store would be empty except for the cashier...it was christmas who would be there....I knew it....but I still couldnt go... I said I was...but then came the Sickness and I had to throw up.....I felt like such an idiot..my sisters kept saying just go. theres no one there ...and I was so depressed...since that day now I find myself not even wanting to try. my family doesnt understand... thats why its so nice to hear that some ppl do. Im not alone and im not going crazy... Im surprised my one friend I have left is actually still sticking with me. Shes been around since I got sick years ago...shes been there when we just would get to the mall and id have to run to the bathroom and throw up and then leave right after we just got there.....Im actually surprised she hasnt gotten annoyed and given up on me yet. I have this ting where im so embarrased to get sick in front of ppl. Its happened quite a few times where i have gotten sick at the mall when I just got there..and my family would get upset because we just arrived and they wanted to shop...so now its impossible for me to even enter that mall and I havent seen the inside of it or years....and I feel as though Im blabbering on now and repeating myself to you guys and probably getting annoying! heh...Im sorry. its just nice to hear ppl understand what im going through....I just wish it would go away...I want to be young and have fun while im still young...

[JSGeare]

"roo?" Aussie, maybe? There are a lot of you Sheila's here!

OK, here's the deal. The unanimous reaction that you are being fed too many pills is probably correct. And, unless you tell me otherwise, the one thing distinctly MISSING from your treatment is any talk therapy. I am unhappy with your family's notion that you are making it all up; I'd expected a little more support from that quarter.

And yet, in a sense, they are right. You are, indeed, making it all up. So is every panic victim. That is to say, the source of the anxiety, sick feelings, sweats, fainting and all the rest is not outside your body, but rather, inside your head. That does not make it any less real. The sweat is real, the urge to vomit is real -it is ALL REAL. If it were outside you, if it were a virus, some scary exposure to danger, sudden, excruciating exertion, you could point to the problem, identify and do something about it. But is is not. It is inside you and you can find no reason for it.

Yet, there is a reason, or reasons. This is your first toe hold. You may say to yourself, "There is a reason, and I'm going to find it." Specifics we do NOT know -yet. But what we DO know that your brain is sending up signal flares, demanding attention. There is a part of you that knows there is a prpoblem, and another part that does not let it surface to be dealt with, and the tension between these 2 has you caught in the cross-fire.

Practically all aspects of panic can be resolved to include an over-powering sense of uncertainty, that pervasive doubt that runs through everything. And so, one of the first things you can do is find something of which you are certain. And, you have done so, because you have come here to this community of fellow travelers who know exactly what you are talking about and experience it for themselves. Start your list of certainties, things that are for sure:

1. There is a reason for this.
2. I am in touch with people who really know what I'm talking about.
3. I am a meber of a community of people who care for me.
4. ???

Start adding to the list. Start now, and look at it daily and add more items. Establish your foundation, your baseline, your camp, your headquarters, the territory that you control. And count me and everyone on this forum as your team mates.

Now, fire the doc who's pushing pills and get with someone who knows medication and who knows therapy -a helper, a guide who will help you find the hidden material that is stimulating youir panic, and help you learn to deal with, possibly even eliminate it. This is difficult because you are housebound. True, many friends have parted ways from you, but who has NOT? Who is still available to you? Maybe you make contact as a "pen pal," contact your local health department or the "hotline" for people in mental distress, or a minister or whatever. Pretend you have been hired by someone else who is housebound to locate help -how would you advise them? What would you do?

Make it a rule that for now you will stay in touch with the forum on a daily basis. Read through the various threads, see what people have had to say, get a grip on the personalities here -after all, we're your new family, sister! It is important to find something, some place, some group, where you become a contributor and are respected for the experiences you've had and the courage to change. There are no stupid questions -ask EVERYTHING. Get connected and involved, so your horizons are expanded and your oriemation of being prisoner in your own home begins to change. You may wonder how you will ever find your way out of this mess. I don't know, and nobody knows, but what we DO know is that to any extent -any at all- that your are involved with people beyond yourself, you have already started to find your way out.

You may note how contact here has already given you some hope, comfort and optimism. EXACTLY.

You've already begun the process. WE are with you. Make it your business to be in touch frequently.

I'll be waiting.

[Rori54]

You sound like me but x10.  It seems to me that you have agoraphobia which is basically the fear of going back to any place or situation where you had some form of anxiety.  I have that and the only thing that helps me to get through it is ativan and pushing myself to face those same situations.  There is a name for this type of therapy but I can't remember what they call it.  Anyway, I am in a panic group right now and that also has been invaluable in starting my healing....I hope you look into the agoraphobia and maybe find another psych doctor and get a second opinion because it seems like you're on a lot of drugs with no help.  Look into Klonopin...I hear it's great for anxiety and I am going to do the same.  Best of luck and God Bless!!!!

Rori

[bowla004]

Omg are you me or what. Same exact fear i would hate going places with my friends infact i still have that fear i can't go anywhere with my friends because im scared of getting sick right when i get there and have to leave. My husband was starting to get annoyed cause he didn't know what my problem was, but now that he knows he supports me and when we go out he tells me i can leave whenever i want and doesn't get mad. That really sucks about your family you need a strong support system to get through this. Trust me it helps me alot. And i know it gets harder everytime you get out you just need to push your self prove to your self that you are a strong person. You need to get out at least for five to ten minutes a day. i find that if i skip a day it gets harder to get out the next time i try. It is hard but you can do it. I just hope that someday i can go to the movies or hang out outside the house with my friends again. Like i said im so scared they will get mad if i go someplace and have to leave right away if i get sick. Again i know exactly what you are going through.

[bowla004]

Just want to share that i just got back from an awsome date with my husband. Bad movie but i got but of the house tonight. I had a slight panic attack in the theatre,but instead of leaving i forced my self to stay and with in 15 min the attack went away and i was completly calm it was awesome. Now to conquer the whole going out with friends issue.

[JSGeare]

A break through experience! You went through the discomfort of the panic -and it went away. You now know that, YES, it can be done.  And you will be able to do it again and again. What a great feeling! And you did it in a movie theatre which for many people is way too confining. Congratulations!

[moonflower13]

Hi, Kay! I've read your story. I have no advice to give... all of us here actually have anxiety in common, which already is a lot, and all anxiety forms have fear in common, but I've never had panic attacks. But I want to say that you have all my support, that my heart goes to you, and that I'm glad you made a move and opened up here, it's obvious you needed to talk about it and it looks like you haven't had anyone pay attention to you in that regard. I hope things get better for you because you deserve to enjoy all that life has to offer to you. Please keep posting and letting us know. *hugs*

[kaylaroo]

Hey you all....I just love coming on here now and reading all the msges! Makes me feel really good to know that there are people to feel the same as me. And to JSGeare...no im not aussie in any way hehe...Im actually Dutch....kaylaroo is just a nickname ive had since I was little from my parents.And thank you for that long msg. And your right no I dont have any treatment that requires talking to someone....because I cant go. I tried once with an anxiety group at the town hospital but it lasted one day and I couldnt go back.... My anxiety was starting to get better I thought anyways and I was really excited to finally go and get my Drivers ed because Ive had my beginners for ever now..and I want to drive so much...I feel maybe if I drive myself then I wont have to have fears if say when i get somewhere I feel sick and I have to go  home....well if im the one driving....then I wouldnt have to be scared to tell anyone Im sick...So I was really  excited and I went to my first class on Oct 1st this year....and since then I havent left the house.. Its impossible... And im soo disapointed cause I was sooo excited to drive...Bowla004....I feel when I read your msges..that I wrote them  ha....you explain what I go through to a T. I am to scared to even try and go places because of the fear of getting sick and looking like a idiot to everyone having to leave even though we just arrived. And I feel like ill look like a idiot if I throw up in front of people...that maybe people would think im belemic or soemthing ..then it would be highschool all over again ha..I once was sick in the washroom in grade 11 and had a girl come up to me and say...' are you pregnant to? "ha i was like geez no im 16! hahaha It was hard in school with everyone making assumptions....I had a best friend since grade 6...and iin grade 12 when I got so bad that I had to drop out of school 2 months before it ended,...her and a group of girls I used to hang out with all the time turned on me....said I was faking it all and making it up for attention ( because everyone at school was asking about me and making sure I was alright because I never missed to much school then stopped going) so I guess they got jealous and they said I was annorexic and some how "albino" dont know where that one came from! ha...and they said a bunch of harsh stuff saying that they hoped I died from my sickness...and these were girls I was best friends with all throughout highschool...I have one friend Andi-lee who has stayed with me ...shes been the friend that has told me to bring a bag along and that we can leave when we want...and im surprised shes still sticking with me..shes been the one where we would just get to the mall and we would have to leave 2 seconds later....lately shes been asking me to just go hang out at her house in pjs and watch tv..which i used to do no problem....and I cant even do that....and its really getting to me..I just want to be able to go out to clubs...movies..the mall....friends houses...even have friends come over here and not have a second thought about getting sick or anything. Tomorrow is new years eve and im probably the only 20 year old staying in with nothing to do because I cant. Andi-lee has asked me to hang out but I cant.. I just wish a miracle would happen and this would go away.. its to a point now that when my sisters say they are going out to the mall...like for example..my youngest sister had her first date ever....and if it were me nowadays....i would be sick and thinking of ways to get out of it because i felt sick....but I seem to forget that they dont have this problem...so Ill be all worried for her and asking if she feels ok and stuff..and shell be like ya im nervous but im excited...and i just forget how different it is to not have anxiety.....it just gets to me so much... My parents are understanding ppl...well my mom the most....my mom is the one saying you can do it..grab a bag and some giinger ale and its just going here...if you feel sick sit in the van...and that helps me alot ...but my dad....has a really hard time understanding that anxiety is a real problem....hes more along the lines of "why cant you go here? why do you feel sick..i dont understand why you cant leave the house....when you get out of your bubble you can do stuff" and i know guys dont really understand usually... my sisters have a hard time too...at least they act like they dont understand...they might feel bad i guess...but most the time they are always like  "ya well at least I can go out with my bf..at least I can leave"stuff like that....and its hard... My dad hates that im on all these pills..and he wants to go in with me the next docters app. and tell him to get me off them all cause they obviously are not working.. i ramble on alot dont I! you will all find out im quite the talker! haha.. dont get to talk to anyone during the day cept my family ad they are tired of hearing this..so now that I get to talk....I talk! hahaha...anyways... ill keep you guys posted for sure...although I cant imagine much new news coming from me anytime soon....i sleep till 4pm cause theres no reason to wake up and all I do is my cross stich and my crafts ...yes im 20 going on 90..... its sad really..hey at least im artistic or i would be bored out of my mind id say

[bowla004]

It's like we are sort of the same person just today i was happy because i just had a great night last i was able to go to the movies with my husband and for me thats an accomplishment. Well my friend wanted to go to her house today and remind you she knows im going through this and i said i really don't feel like it. She got mad and told me "you don't have a right to an opinion your just a loser who  never leaves your house!" That hurt me so bad i cried for two hours. It's sucks that our friends don't understand! But you know what im not going to let that get to me. I was able to go out last night and im determined to go out  for new years eve as well dammit!! lol! I will overcome this and so will you. Hang in there girl.

[bowla004]

By the way we soo need to get our life back im 23 your 20 we are too young to be housebound. If you ever need someone to chat with i will be on this forum. Like i said before you are definitly not alone im going through the same thing i know how you feel and i understand. Trust me it won't last forever. We will conquer our anxiety! Both of us! i have faith in you. You can do it.

[kaylaroo]

Hey girl....thats awesome that you got to go to the movies with your husband! First I thought I read wrong...husband at 23! hahaha but then again most ppl get married around 22 and such....just because I cant see myself being ready doesnt mean the rest of the world isnt! haha Im a big mommys girl... I dont even want to ever think of moving out hahahaha. 23 seems close and I cant imagine myself being married but hey who knows what will happen in 3 years! when I was younger I used to always say I wanted my first kid when I was 23...wow has that changed! haha..but really im so happy for you and that you got to leave,...I understand how good it feels to leave once you get to...its so hard to make yourself but once you do it feels so great. Movies I sometimes in ways find easier then most because I know I can sit down the whole time..and dont have to walk around feeling sick...If i know im sitting down I feel much better about it...but I still cant go! And I do wish more ppl understood what we were going through....I of course cant go anywhere for newyears...Which is disapointing... ill be at home with my family....but my friend called me at 10:30am and asked me if i wanted company tonight...and i said sure...so since 10:30 ive been anxious all day...I never used to get sick when it came to ppl coming over....it used to be the only thing that I felt fine for...but now even inviting a friend over makes me sick....so now all day im going to feel anxious..and come time my friend comes over im going to start to get more nervous and feel like im going to throw up..maybe start to sweat and get really hot and panick....same thing as always and I hate it so much....i wish I had the strength to say....no...this isnt hapening... and stop it...but my mind controls me..and I dont know how to change that around.. Ill post tomorrow and let you know how it goes tonight and such..and I hope you will do the same! I really hope you get to go out for newyears.. what I find helps me the most is ginger pills...but the problem is I dont want to be drugged up everytime i Have to do something....If I plan on going somewhere Ill take them every 4 hours before...tonight I might just try taking some once..see if it does anything...it really helps me with the nauses part anyways... most the time...but i dont want to take pills every 4 hours for the rest of my life...im on enough as it is.. anyways talk to you soon! Love Kay.

[bowla004]

omg im so lightheaded and my stomach is bothering me so much today! Just the thought of going out tonight is bothering me!  And im going to Disneyland which is sooo crowded. Im still determined to go out though! At least if i pass out at disneyland they are trained professionals lol! Sorry sometimes you just got to laugh at yourself. You want to hear something shocking i have been married for 3 years now! lol! Hey all i got to say is when love hits it hits. And im sooo glad i have a supportive husband to get me through this. Im the only one of my friends that are married too. lol But i don't regret it for one second.  So hey let me know how it goes tonight. i ll do the same. Oh and you want to talk about being drugged i live of off xanax i know i need to slowly ween myself of but it is soo hard.

[kaylaroo]

Hey you! thats awesome that youve been married for 3 years! like you said sometimes you just know your in love! I think its cute and congrats on it! Thats really cool that your going to disney land! I couldnt even think of going..I wish I could! my bf bought me a ticket to go see him in alberta and its on jan. 9th....next week...and i dont know how to tell him but its a 90% chance that I wont be going... I cant...how can i? I cant even go to my friends how am i going to take a plane 3 provinces over..then be away from home for 2 months...it isnt happening...im guna have to tell him I have to prospone it....plus I was thinking about making a docters app. and asking to get off my pills... they arent helping me in any way....so why stay on them right? so Im guna ask if I can start weening myself off,,,I live off effexor at 225 mg...most ppl take 75...if i miss it for one day...I lose my motor controls and man....cant even explain it...im addicted..but they do nothing for me..so i really want to get off..im scared ill get worse...but how much worse can this get i guess? I cant leave the house to go for a walk to the mail box....im guessing thats as bad as it can get...and dont worry about joking around about what we have...i do it all the time...its the only way of keeping myself sane about it! I always say..because the one place i never feel sick going to is my docters...and im always saying its because I know they have so many drugs there if i need any! haha...and I often joke about no one being able to swallow pills better then me now cause im a pill popper and take 8 a day....I need some laughter when it comes to my life! haha...so my friend called and said ill be at your house in 5 minutes....so i didnt have much time to worry and have a panick attack...all day I felt nauses and dizzy and very anxious in my stomach like I felt my muscles just going crazy and really just needed them to relax...and i was worried about getting worse when the time came that she would get here.. but i was fine...alot better then the last time she came over.. the last time it was so bad..i was shaking and dizzy and felt like i was going to faint..trying to poor myself a glass of ginger ale to help me and i was shaking..it was awful...but this time..it happened so quick i didnt have time to think about it. and the it went well cause we just sat and played nintendo wii with my family....she said her friend asked if we wanted to go to her house for a few hours..and i wanted to so bad..but i couldnt do it so i said no i was just guna stay home..and she left a bit later..tomorrow my aunt invited us over for supper...i used to have no problem going to my aunts...ive been sick there many times through out my life..its not like she cares she my aunt ya know? shes seen me sick since i was little so I really hope I have an easy time going. Im realy excited..havent seen anyone in a while...wasnt even able to go visiting on christmas so.. I pray it goes wel..i got my ginger ale..and my bag in my purse of course if i get sick.. and no pressure at my aunts..just alwys have fun so..ill just keep thinhking that...and hopefully when i go to bed tonigth i wont be anxious all night worried because i know im going there. I really want to hear how your night went and i hope it went well! thsi new year we will get better! and next new years eve we will go out with not even a second thought about it! no sick feelings at all!! we can do it! hope you had a great night!! bye for now! love Kay;

[bowla004]

Lets see where do i start my night started horrible. I was so dizzy and my stomach felt like was going to puke my body became weak all over. I litterally felt like i had to throw up. This is embarrassing but my husband had to help me get ready by doing my hair and make up i was soo out of it! I kept telling him i wasn't going! He said it was ok i didn't have to go but still got me ready and before i knew it i was out the door and driving myself and my husband to Disneyland! When i first got there i was miserable for about 15 min i felt like i was going to pass out it was soo crowded! But as soon as i saw my friends the panic went away and i ended up having a great night! For me i think the most panic comes from the point were i have to get out of the house and ends about 10 to 20 minutes once im at the place i need to go. Im so glad you had a great night as well that makes me soo happy! I love playing wii it eases my anxitey! It's fun anyways got to go chat at you later. Love Bowla004

[kaylaroo]

heyyyyy! ok so seriously...I think sometimes we are the same person hahaha...what you described is how I feel to a T. Its awful....everytime I have to go somewhere I feel that way...or like yesterday I was anxious all day cause I knew my friend was coming over...and dont be embarrassed about your husband helping...I had to get my bf to help curl my hair in when i went to my cousins wedding in Sep; because I was sooo dizzy and sick and I knwo what you mean by just out of it...you feel so weird and lightheaded and feel like you have to throw up..and sometimes i just shake if im trying to do something cause im just so anxious,..and my problem as well is getting out the house....and the part leading up to leaving...im so anxious about leaving that i feel im guna pass out and puke and i start to sweat ..mainly my head gets really hot and like al my roots start to get wet and its awful..i have to put my hir up most the time cause it helps cool me down if i get like that....but usually once im out aswell about 15 minutes into it and relax im great for the whole night...and they could be like..lets fly to europe and id be like ok! without feeling sick..cause once im out and feeling good i usually feel great the whole night . most the time...enless its like shopping or a place packed with ppl...then i get to hot and worry that i cant get to a bathroom in time if i need one....i find things that calm me down are like...ok ill be sitting down so my stomach can settle when im there...and if i need to they have a bathroom. but even if i have a great time it goes back to the beginning all over again the next day...like today i woke up and knew i was going to my aunts for supper...which isnt toooo bad cause ive been there a 100 times...so i woke up got ready didnt eat...if im going anywhere in the day..i cant eat a thing.. that way i know i wont throw up anything ! its weird i know... so i had a easy time going! i was sooo happy..i mean i wasnt feeling 100% but it was veryyy mild feeling of being sick that i was actually able to just say im ok its my aunts ..ive thrown up there a billion times through out my life..they dont care i got my ginger ale...and i was fine.. i had a good time..i loved it..didnt want to go back home cause i knew once i got back home..it would be back to normal...at supper time i couldnt eat much..i started to feel a lil sick..but i just ate slow and it was all good. after supper i felt amazing the whole night. so im really happy with myself...but i know tomorrow it will be as if it didnt happen. my sisters were telling me they were happy for me that i did it with no problem. they were saying like " see you did it and it wasnt hard" and it felt good..but its so stupid cause say if they want to go somewhere tomorrow..i wont be able to...my friend asked me to take lil steps and just go sit at tim hortons for half an hour...and i dont even think i can do that...im kinda avoiding answering that question. im so happy for you though that you were able to go to disneyland!!! thats huge!!!! i would never be able to... no bathrooms for miles! hahaha but thats so great...i understand how tough it is so i really am happy for you. thats such an accomplishment....I still havent broken the news to my bf yet about having to prospone the trip to alberta next wed. ...i dont think i could ever do that right now... hes going to be heart broken..hes so excited to see me.. but i just..im not ready..i want to ask my docter to get off these pills and i think ill need to be at home for a while to do that..so i hope he understands and maybe by next month ill be well enough to try going! maybe the docter can drug me up for one day with some extra strong relaxant and ill be able to go! cause once im there im sure il be fine! so ill sk for like a needle of super strong medication for a day hahahaha....anyways i hope to hear from you soon! i love chatting with you...im feeling alot happyier lately...not so depressed and hating life...because i know someone out there understands.. and we can help each other..im no longer the insane one who is the only one on this planet who has this..i feel more normal now knowing other ppl have this too and its common ya know? and ya wii eases my anxiety too! but I wish there was someway I could show you the crafts ive been doing lately....nothing eases my anxiety more than my hobbies...and thank god im talented cause i would go insane stayingin the house all this time and not able to do anything to make the time go by hahaha..bye for now!!love kay

[JSGeare]

You are probably already feeling a little better since connecting with all these folks who know 'zactly what you're talking about. By the way, when I was going to my panic support group (it was called Power Over Panic) we heard from someone who wanted to join -but was housebound. And so, we made her house our new meeting place! Where there's a will, there's away! The trick is: finding the way.

Since you know that you DO feel good once you're out of the house, and you also know that you do survive all the nasty feelings associated with "jumping the fence," would it be possible, I wonder, to stay out longer? Your aunt's might be a good place to stay overnight, for example. The point is, the find your baseline, to find the boundary that you want to cross -and that you CAN cross. Gradually push the limits -stretch them out here and there, not by forcing them, but rather, they way a horse does it -just lean your weight up against them and wait for the boundary to fall away.

The fellow who started Power Over Panic had been a school teacher. In his late 30's, decent salary, pretty wife, 2 nice kids, nice house in a small, western Maryland community. Theo was handsome, athletic -real eye candy. He was also possessed of a great sense of humor and was extremely intelligent. And then, one day, he felt his heart acting up while at work -and within 6 months, was housebound. For 5 years. The first 2 years he spent in front of the TV, and eating. He learned how to get things delivered to him, how to get others to do things for him. Then, he decided that as long as he was going to HAVE panic, he might as well become an expert. He read everything he could lay hands on, he became an expert in writing applications for disability. Then he started Power Over Panic. The local hospital gave him an area to use for meetings. His wife drove him to meetings and picked him up afterwards. Theo and I became friends after I joined POP, started a tradition of dinner together Wednesday night before the meeting. He started driving himself to meetings. We both became noticeably improved. That was 5 years AGO. Today, Theo lives in California -and drives a Harley, anywhere he pleases. He calls once or twice a year. "I can't believe I'm feeling this good," he say...

I tell you this story not for the usual "if he can do it so can you reason," but rather because it sends a message about how people get over the panic. The meds and the desire and the therapy and the support of people who understand are essential. The other essential ingredient is actively doing something to change things, change youself. Take charge of something.

Tell us -what will it be? What will Kayla do differently today? What edge will you have that you didn't have before?

You've got the energy, girl. Read your own writing -perfectly electric and alive. And you've got the sense of humor -how many ha-ha's? I lost count. (Never was any good at math Ha ha!) Anyway, start putting together all your assets -and you mount a formidable array of advantages.

So -what is your plan? What will you do differently today? And how can we help?

[kaylaroo]

Hey thank you for that wonderful msg!! You give me hope when I read it haha. And dont worry I was never good at math myself!!! thank god for my arts and music in school or I probably wouldnt of graduated hahaha. My plan.....oh gosh I have no idea... I was saying now that its a new year ..my new years revolution would be to change my life..to find ways to get better and by next new years I wouldnt have one bit of anxiety and who knows maybe ill go to ireland for the new years party! ha ha ha ha I wish!! But the thing with me is...I dont even know how to get started to change things...dont even know where to start. Im the type of person who needs a book that tells me step by step how to get over this hahaha...like "get over anxiety for dummies" book or something if that existed! haha I need to be told what to do or I have no idea. But I am happy that I decided to look for a site with something..and I found this..and Im happy I decided to talk about it and for once feel that ppl are not looking at me like im retarded and just using an excuse because i dont want to leave or something. I go on this forum every day! ha..So thank you for posting...and ill keep you updated if i think of a plan....or like i said...if i find that non-existing book haha. bye for now, love Kay

[bowla004]

Hey girl whats up! That really touched me about how i have been making you feel a little bit better chatting with me. Trust me you have done the same as well. Just knowing someone else is going through the same thing as me doesn't make me feel like im crazy. lol! I hope it goes well with telling your bf about not going on the trip. It's like we are bascially dealing with the same situations at the same time. Im not looking forward to telling my work that i will be needing another month off. Thankgod they are being very understanding i have already been gone for 5 months now! Due to this problem. But since talking to you i have improved alot. So just maybe i will be getting back to work by the end of febuary but right now im taking it one step at a time. Anyways i am sooo proud of you that you were able to go to your aunts house that is soo awesome! I wish i could see your crafts you sound like your very talented. Im going to try to go to Disneyland again tm. Hopefully i can do it. No i can do it! My hardest time to get out of the house is the daytime. It's easier at night for me to push myself for some reason. But soon i got to push myself to get out in the daytime. I was able to do it on christmas though which was cool. Oh and by the way i know where all the bathrooms are in Disneyland i work there. They do need to put more bathrooms up you got a point there lol! Again good luck with your bf if he really cares about you then he will understand. And take some advice from this JSGeare he seems to know alot about what we are going through and how to handle it. Chat at you laters. love bowla004

[kaylaroo]

Heyyy thats soooo cool that you work at disney land!! anyways this is a quick note...ive been feeling alright all day and my friend called and asked to stop in...and now i feel sick.... getting hot...very uneasy in my stomach....and just trying to breathl....i was about to txt and say dont come....but i stopped myself and said im going to do it...i think they are here.....im panicky.... hope i feel better...i hate this so much...anyways ill update you later..bye for now!  

[bowla004]

Don't worry you can do it just act like it's normal for your friend to come over which it is. But hey i shouldn't be talkin im having a pretty bad day myself today! You can do this though im so proud of you for not canceling with your friend today. Now to get myself out of the house. I haven't been out since new years. You getting out of the house is one step forward,but for every time you stay in the house it is like taking 5 steps back and it's even harder when you skip a day like i have. Shame on me! lol! For me im really weak, lightheaded, and short of breath. But we all have our bad days. In the words of  my hero Walter Elias Disney  "Keep Moving Forward".

[kalmkidd]

i agree with Jsgeare 100% like all his post. and it does suck that your family does not support you mine was the same way when i first told them. i idea i have is to find a video about how sever anxiety is and let them watch it thats what i did and they definetly opened up to me. good luck and were all here for the same reason which is to help each other..

[amb_hgn]

I read some of the posts, scanned through the rest. Did you try to find out if this was perhaps a medical condition? A friend of mine went through everything you are and turns out she has an inner ear problem...weird and seemingly unrelated, but apparently it caused a lot of these symptoms, which she then associated with anxiety and panic disorder, which led to her emotionally aggravating her medical condition by becoming anxious and having panic attacks. Not saying this is your situation, but you may want to make sure that it isn't a treatable medical condition. Then change doctors, see a psychologist who is experienced with anxiety/panic disorder and who will actually use therapy as opposed to poisoning you with all of the drugs!
I have a severe phobia of public speaking - a real career killer for me. But a colleague of mine made a couple of observations...although I felt like I was freaking out and making a fool of myself - it was on the inside. Outwardly, there was little to no sign of it. So most of this is internal and the external signs of freaking out just aren't there. Nice to know that I don't look like I'm spazzing when I feel like I am. Secondly, and most profoundly, he told me that at this point, it was not the fear of public speaking that I had, but rather the fear of the fear of public speaking. And it's true...I fear my fear! Sounds stupid, but that is exactly what it is and just realizing that I was afraid of fear helped a lot.

[kaylaroo]

Hey, well My docters have been trying to tell me for 5 years now that i dont have anxiety....that its IBS (irrible bowel syndrome) and that thats the reason I feel sick all the time...I went to a stomach docter and he said it or something and said I had a lil bit of acid reflux...but I know tons of ppl with IBS and acid reflux and they dont have the symptoms I have...I also researched IBS and The symtoms (symptoms) I have are not on there..so Im starting to think they are just saying its that. I complain and complain to my doctor about it but he just keeps saying...well we will just try this for a few weeks..or doing this...and it hasnt helped...the last time i went he wanted to add paxil to my list of medications...but Im already on effexor...so he wanted to have me on both,...but my pharmacist said no....so now tomrrow I have an appointment..and hes going to try and keep me on these meds...but im guna come out and say thats it i want to start getting off them....they arent helping me in anyway since I cant even leave the house..so it cant get much worse..so whats the harm right? so ill have to see what he says..I wouldnt even know how to start and try and find out if it was caused by something else thats not even related to anxiety...I would love to book myself in some hospital and have them do every test possible until they found out what was wrong! haha..but thank you for msg. I hope you get over your fear of public speaking! I myself have never had that problem thank god because all I do is go in front of ppl....since I can remember Ive been singing, drumming and such in front of weddings , partys,schools, funerals...anywhere I could...of course until this came..and Im missing it soo much...I miss  being on the stage...My uncle offers me many chances to go sing on stage with him at big places...and it kills me to have to say i cant go....the way I see it is...to be up there...you know how many ppl are jealous of you when your up there? More than half the audience wishes they can go up there and do what you do...but they cant...which is why your up there for them. And it makes you feel really good. And proud of yourself for it. especially when its done and ppl congradulate you and say good job. the saying picture them in their underwear does not work hahaha...but I find knowing they are jealous becuase you can go do that and stand in front of all those ppl ...it just gives you this great feeling...i love it...and miss being able to perform....when i get better...i tell ya!!! im going to every bar and making a band and performing every weekend! hahaha Talk to you later bye for now!

[kaylaroo]

Hey girl!! Ok I have something to admit....tonight when my friend said he was coming over to play wii..and I msged you about how sick I felt and that I ignored my wanting to cancel....well few minutes later...I tried to cancel...I txt msged him and was like..."have you left yet"wanting him to say no...so i could tell him not to....but he never msged back so he ended up showing up anyways...I then felt better about 5 minutes into it and had a really good time, he asked me to go for a walk because he wanted to talk about his gf issues....but I couldnt go....just to go around the block...isnt that sad? maybe the fact that its -37 degrees c. has a lil to do with it...but still haha..what makes me mad though is that...he was just here 2 days ago...and I had a easy time with him coming over...and then tonight it was awful....and its not just with him...even my friend andi-lee..and ive been hanging out with her since i can remember...so its not like its an uncomfortable thing with him or anything... so my other friend jake who i havent seen in months and who i miss wants tohang out monday for an hour and catch up...he wants to go sit at tim hortons....I wont be able to do that...and i hate having to ask him to stay at my place cause my sisters are always around and stuff ya know? hes going to get annoyed... Now all weekend ill be dreading monday because I know Ill have to go through the anxiety again ...tomorrow i have a doctors app. and im worried about that too....i used to be able to go to the doctors no problem...but now im starting to panick cause Im guna ask him to take me off these pills..and im a lil scared to get off them cause ive been on them for 4 years..but hiow much worse can i get right? so im guna be brave and do it.. i hope he lets me...maybe then i can try a new pill or something... i dont know.. and I know how you feel about having to tell work you cant go back yet....except for me it was with school....I stopped going beginning of may in grade 12 and then i never went back...I had to graduate with a doctors note...missed my graduation and my prom...i counted down the days to  my prom a year before.. then this came...im still crushed about that..cause that only happens once...but I was always to scared to call and say I couldnt go ...which is also why I cant work...or go to college like I had planned... so im really hoping this goes away soon...cause if one more person asks me why I dont have a job at 20 years old I will hurt them haha...its sooo annoying...and it gets to you...and what do you say? because i have anxiety? ppl dont understand how severe anxiety can be...they always say...so what...i have some anxiety i work 2 jobs or something...and its like urggggggggg go away! So i cant work who cares...exactly I AM only 20...I have my whole llife to work. I will when im ready....anways now im ranting on and getting into things to much! hahahah Hope to hear from you soon! and I havent left the house since my aunts on new years day aswell....

[bowla004]

I understand you completly! If one more person ask me when im going to go back to work im going to lose it seriously! Oh and i get nervous too at doctor appointments i have to see my pshcologist every two weeks and it is such a hassle for me. Don't feel bad my friend is 25 and he doesn't have a job. Well thats because he is lazy! lol! But you have an excuse though. An excuse most people should be more understanding off. Oh don't fret about cancelling with your friend like i said we all have our bad days. I have cancelled many of friends got a lot of friends mad at me oh well. Life goes on. Keep moving forward. I have a question do you get weak from being in the house so much or do you keep active? Cause i know i have been getting really weak from being in the house so much cause all i do is lay around. I think it's because i went from a physical job to just laying around the house. You think i would gain weight but the funny part is i have lost 30 pounds. Depression can do that to you. Anyways i gots to go im going to attempt to go out of the house right now to get some starbucks im craving coffee chat at you laters.

[kaylaroo]

Hey girl! I didnt get to cancelled...i txt msged and asked if he left yet wanting to cancel...but he never got back to me and then just showed up half hour later...im kinda glad though cause i ended up having a really good time....I woke up today anxious as ever to go to the docters.....didnt have a panick attack like with the sweatind and vomiting before i went though which was good..i guess cause i know docters offices have tons of medication and what better time to get sick then at the docters where they can help you hahaha.. so hes taking me off my effexor..and as hes decreasing my effexor hes adding in paxil. ....maybe this pill will at least help me leave for rides and stuff i hope anyways....my bf is beyong disapointed that i cant go this wed. hes making me cancel the flight and i dont even know what to do or who to call.. he says he understands but i dont think he really understands how severe my anxiety is....i dont think any one except the ones who have it....I have so many ppl say to me "well i know this person has anxiety and they have 2 jobs and just dont let it bother them."and then i say then they dont have the anxiety i have and they will be like "well ya they have a hard time"and im like obviously not since they can go to two jobs and such...everyone thinks anxiety is just this little thing you can put past you...but if they only lived in our shoes for a week they would want to scream....and I know...nothing bugs me more than ppl asking me why Im not in school or why im not out there working like most 20 year olds...and like you said im going to lose it if they keep asking me....i sometimes just want to freak out and tell them off...but ive never told off anyone in my life lol....but i do feel like telling them to stay out of it im not their kid its not their life who cares what i do. and to your answer.....i have no energy ever....i am def not active...my dad bought me a treadmill since i cant go for walks outside....i dont even have energy to walk on that....10 minutes and im guna faint .....i sleep over 14 hours a day id say.. i have no energy to do anything. so its not just you...and i sometimes wonder how im not getting fat because all i do is sleep eat and go on the computer....but i dont know i seem to be losing weight sometimes from being depressed aswell...and if something is happening or ppl are coming over i cant eat all day..its horrible...i wish i drove cause i would def. get in the car by myself and just see if i coukld drive to the nearest tim hortons and back just to get out with out any pressure from anyone..but i cant cause i cant go get my full license because of my anxiety..so it all realllly sucks.. well bye for now!

[bowla004]

Hey whats up! That sucks about your boyfriend! Obviously he doesn't understand what you are going through. And you will get that alot. But don't give up.  It's good to know im not the only one who is weak. Not that thats a good thing but i was getting a little freaked out cause i can't even walk in a store for ten minutes without getting short of breath or feeling like im going to pass out. Never did make it to disneyland this week im supposed to go tm but my husband has to rent me  wheel chair because im so weak! lol! i feel like im dyin even though the docs say im completly healthy lol! But im going to try to exercise tm well see. My husband got a little mad at me yesterday cause i wanted him to go and get my prescription for me and he said i have to start helping myself kinda like your bf wants you to cancel the flight. I did get my prescription and it felt good cause i didn't depend on him for once. But in your case your bf wanted you to come down and visit him so he should be the one to cancel your flight thats just wrong. Oh and talk about having a panic attack over friends coming over my friend was over today and we were watching a movie then all the sudden i had these thoughts about what if i pass out right now. I began to get lightheaded and short of breath so i went in my room by myself for about 10 to 15 min and i was able to calm myself down. Im not proud of myself for still getting panic attacks but now i can control them to a point thats what im proud off. So get back to me i will talk to you later email me. k bye

[kaylaroo]

hey yeh he says he understands..and hes really helpful when hes here and im actually able to leave with him once and a while..but just when it comes to me going out there..he kinda gets upset about me not going...it makes it seem like i dont want to go or something.instead of the fact that i do want to and just cant. And about the weak thing....im so weak when i leave too...especially cause of my panick atttacks...i feel im going to throw up..i cant walk in a store for more then 5 minutes without starting to feel sick which then makes me lightheaded and then dizzy and i feel like i could pass out in the aisle...which is why i sit down as much as i can. sometimes i have had to sit in the aisle..and pretend i was looking at something on the bottom but really it was cause i was so weak....i always say i  need a wheel chair but i cant go anywhere so the wheel chair would be pointless sitting at my house haha. and i know what you mean by depending on ppl...i need my mom to go get my perscriptions for me...i cant go..i cant leave so..its awful. and with you how you start to think about passing out and panicking....i dont worry about passing out....i panick and think about throwing up....then i worry and start to feel even more sick....what i really need is some sort of drug that just calms me right down! every muscle in my body lol....i mnight be a lil out of it but it would be worth it! hahaha...and im very happy you have found a way to sortve control your attacks...i cant at all...i try so hard...but the feeling of getting sick just gets so bad..then the whole sweating and dizzy light headedness comes and then i cant get it to go away...so i spent a few hours in my room crying tonight...after i finished writting you earlier i went downstairs to where my sisters and mom were and i said "ok mom you can have the computer im done writting on my forum" and my sister was like "forum? why do you have a forum" and my mom was like "to talk to ppl about her anxiety"and my sister was like  "you actually go and complain to ppl about your anxiety oh my god" so that hurt me a lil and then i was mad and said well its cause i cant talk to you guys about it so who else am i guna talk to ..and then it lead to a convo and my sister ended up saying...well at least I can leave the house...and i was like..not like you do cause you have no friends(harsh i know i was just pissed) lol (she does have friends...) hahaha...anyways so then my other sister stepped in and said "did you take your pills today or what" and I was like.."you take your pills" (once again bad come back cause shes not on any) and then my other sister stepped back in and said "we dont have any were actually normal) so then i slapped her in the head....i was sooo pissed!!!!! lol and i went to my room and cried for 2 hours....they could be rude about anything else...cause sisters fight and i wouldnt care if they said i was fat or anything ya know cause i would just be like whatever...but i hate it more than anything when they say stuff about this...im already so depressed about it it just makes it harder and worse on me. but then they start saying..shes rude to us why should we have to take it ...but i try not to ever be rude to them...sure ill say stupid stuff sometimes that sisters say to each other but i mean come on...my sister was so mad at me cause i said she has to change her cheesy smile cause she looked unhappy to be there in the pics she waas in and was forcing the smile...so thats why she freaked out and was angry with me. whatever..anyways ha...i rant to much...bye for now

[bowla004]

Wow that made me cry just reading this post! Thats aweful! Don't ever be ashamed to be on this forum. Your sisters are just being siblings. But that is harsh what they said to you. Just like my friend who said you don't have a right to an opinion because you don't leave the house. It hurt me bad. But this is cool yesterday i got her back so bad. I got out of the house last night and went to disneyland in the rain it was cool there was like no one in the park! I skipped the fast rides though my panic attack only lasted five minutes. It was really nice last nigh just my husband and i. So anyways this friend lives down the street from disney. So my husband had an idea he said what if i surprise her, so i did i walked in her apartment and said so i can't leave the house huh look at me! LOL it was awesome to see her face!lol! I find that i still have panic attacks but there not as bad, yet i still haven't conquered going out in the daytime yet. Because i think back of all the times my husband had to take me to the emerengcy room because of my panic attacks and i didn't know what was going on at the time i was scared. And i would sit in the emergency room all day then as soon as night came i would be sitting up in the er laughing and watching tv with my husband after the 10th trip to the emergency room and like the 100th test done on me. Trust me the doctors had done every test from my head to my feet done. They finally ruled out every disease you could imagine then they said i have been havin panic attacks and gave me xanax to calm them down when they happen. I found it started to work. I don't really have bad panic attacks anymore but im still scared cause for some reason every panic attack i have had has happened in the daytime. i know i have to get over that fear of going out in the daytime. It's so hard. I haven't been to the er in a long time but i always fear that if i go out during the day i will get a bad panic attack and have to go to the er again even though i haven't had a really bad panic attack since i have been on the xanax. I wouldn't recommend the xanax cause im addicted to it and am trying to slowly ween myself of of it but it does help for those panic attacks though. My husband calls me a vampire cause he can only get me out at night lol! Anyways getting back to  you i rant too much as well lol!! Im kidding don't listen to your sisters when they tell you your stupid for going on this forum. Take a look for yourself , look at your post at the beginning of this forum. Look how sad you were, read your post till the end of this forum look how you have improved and definitly are much happier now. Since your first post you have improved sooo much. Your attitude i can tell is totally different. And your sis might get mad at me but if they can't tell then there stupid, cause just by your post everyday i can tell you have made such an improvement. It is a slow process your family needs to understand that you need time and i know you have had five years the longer you have the harder it is so they need to understand this. I have had it for five months now and i recently found out i had it two months ago i didn't even know what the heck was going on with me lol! You have not only improved yourself but by this forum you have helped others as well. My husband thinks your god sent! LOL! He loves me going on this forum cause he has seen my improvement i went from not leaving the house at all to leavin but staying in the car, to now going places and walking around at night. Still have to conquer the daytime though. He always tells me are you going to o on your forum today and talk to your friend you need to tell her your progress. He likes this forum. Anyways i hope to continue to see you on this forum. Chat at you later bye.

[kaylaroo]

heyyyy..wow where to start! hahaha first of all thats so sweet of your husband! he sounds like an incredible guy and im really happy for you...especially since hes there 100% for you! I love coming on this forum and talking to you too! haha everyday I check up on it. And if i accomplish something Im always so excited to tell you haha Its awesome. And I know not to let my sisters bug me...the youngest one is too young to understand ..its just hard to let it go when they say hurtfull stuff about this since it already gets me down quite a bit. I wish I was like you though! you seem to be so possitive and everything about your anxiety attacks...and not letting them birng you down as much as they mightve. if i have an anxiety attack...which i do everytime something happens in the day thats not sitting down on the couch lol..then i get scared even more the next time. I wish I also had a easier time going out at night ...at least I would get out the house for walks or something if it was like that. And I know how you feel about getting tests done...i think ive had every one possible ha..from ultrasounds..to xrays...to scopes down my throat many and to many to count blood tests lol...and so on...so i know how you feel... Im so jealous that you work at disney land....its been a dream of my family's to go there...and thats soo amazing that you showed up at your friends house haha she was probably so confused. Im happy for you that you had the courage to go on the rides aswell...i find since i have this anxiety i get motion sickness really fast since im always feeling sick anyways....so i would never be able to go on rides while i have this im sure. And the pill that my docter is putting me on is paxil...im on effexor and im right addicted to that....if i miss it by a few hours than i lose some motor controls and get a really bad head ache and forget walking around ha..its awful..im getting weaned off them now though as they are adding in the paxil...maybe these will help. so my bf called and canceled my flight....it coats $40 plus tax to cancel....he said when i book my flight out there next time that im paying for that....guess hell be waiting a while since i dont work and def dont have $40 hahaha i think hes mad about me cancelling....its not like i planned to...but owell.anyways..talk to you soon!!

[bowla004]

It was so nice talking to you like the whole day!  Don't get me wrong im not as strong about my anxiety as you think i am. I finally come to relization that i have anxiety like a month ago i knew for a month before that but i didn't except it. I kept thinking i had some kind of weird disease or something i was dying of cause everytime i would go out i would get dizzy and lightheaded like im going to pass out. Oh and lets not  even get to that time of the month! Thats the worse thats when i get the most panic attacks. I can never figure that out! Maybe it's hormones or something. Anyways it is that time of the month starting today and my anxiety is kicking in. So i feel a panic attack coming on i will chat with you larter.

[kaylaroo]

Sorry I havent posted on here in quite some time...It was a lil depressing that I had to cancel my trip out west to see my boyfriend becaise of my anxiety. Then now a month later..were on a break...he keeps bugging me and bugging me to go out there and I cant do it. its just way to stressful and hard..so I decided i need some time without having to worry about relationship problems and just focus on myself.. hes not taking that to well but it will get better....I have never really had the chance to live my life yet ya know? go to parties hang out with friends.. go to clubs....anything...so its a lil hard.. how do i know that this is the one person i want to be with forever...and he keeps talking about marriage and buying houses and its just allllot of stress....im only 20..i dont knwo what i want yet.... i know i probably sound like a horrible person...but how do i know once i get better and actually start living my life that im going to be happy still you know? its just a hard time right now...but anyways.. im getting weaned off my effexor...i am now down to 75 from original 225...i think i have about 3 weeks left till im off these completly then I start up paxil....and find out if those help...but im not sure what im going to do come may when its my 21st birthday....im off my dads benefits... and i cant work myself to get some of my own...but maybe by then if a miracle happens ill be wel enough to get a job of my own and pay for my own pills. I left the house for the first time in months last saturday...went around 8:30 at night to the pets store with my family, it was completly empty cept us....it was alil hard...i was doing well...but then things got rough... my dog crapped on the floor lol...my mom was freaking out because of it..and i had to clean it up and my dog was goind crazy cause hes to hyper..and i started to panick...so iwent to look at the cats by myself and just calm down...i felt better but still felt qeasy...culdnt wait to leave... i had a friend over twice this week... i think its getting a lil easier to have people over...but i still cant leave any where with them when they are here. I feel horrible for making them sit around here with my family ...must be boring to them ya know...anyways thats the update about me ha.... hope everyone is well. bye for now. Love Kay.

[Helpmebenormal]

I have been suffering from axiety attacks for the past 3 months have had a huge change in life, have been to the doctor and he put me on medication which is great it stops the shakes, sweaty hands, feet and body temp doesn't feel so hot also my heart doesn't race and the dry closing over throat has gone But it hasn't taken away the urge i get that i think im going to pee, what can i do to stop it, its all i can think of and i just want to be normal again please help me with what i can do

[redelmo19]

Here I was the same took medicines , then I quit cold turkey , I was scared to go out didn't go out for 7 months. Then took fish oil and magnesium and calcium and b complex, and not a single attack imahappy niw

[Lorik65]

Please go www.anxietycenter.com with Jim Folk from Canada. There are many anxiety center, but you go with Jim Folk It is life changing website. I've been there, I know how you feel and I am free now. Good lack all of you. Love & God Bless.

Larissa